Communication. Pain control. Advanced directive, living will. Social history. MDT. Develop rapport, patient ease. Family informed, present, content, Explain risks and gain consent. Introduction, hand washing, Allowing silence. Hand touching. Consultant, registrar, SHO, intern. Professional. Aloof. Doctor. Human.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
Nothing holds breathless potential like the heady mix of youth and the near-dawn dark this late at night there are no boundaries just new roads to drive, new mouths to kiss
There is a sudden freedom in four am with hands grasping hands and necks and waists, lips smeared with yesterday's gloss and bittersweet anticipation of the infinities unfolding around us - leaving and never coming back spilling secrets still unshared running, screaming battlecries at the sky
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
Somebody must have stitched stolen starlight into your skirts. They carved ivory symphonies into your breakable bones. Stories of heroes and tragedies were whispered on your teasing fingertips. Pigments not touched in millennia were painted into the shadows of your skin.
The moon must have used its diamond touch to harden your heart.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
I dove into midnight's reflection, To remember how it felt to be small. The sharp water stole my breath from me, I broke the mirrored surface and sucked in cold air balm to my shredded lungs. Stars blinked from unfathomable distances, reaching through the absence to me. I tipped back my head, hair dragged under by water thick and dark as blood, ice-cold. I closed my eyes, abyss within abyss, Let it consume me. No rocks or world to see - just the result of the human spirit plus time, that empty vacuum we named 'lonely'.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
This is a love song that lasts centuries. The spindly tower resisted Vikings, who came and left and came again.
(Though the ceilings were beamed with Canadian redwood to look like one of their ships capsized - new world meets old in peculiar ways.)
Hulking, looming over the city that bears its name. It survived storm and sorcery, a witch child paid to mend the broken bell tower.
(Or at least, the child of a suspiciously wealthy widow who was never burnt at the stake. We often fail at malice when the rest of the world succeeds).
Here where we dip our children's heads was Cromwell's trough. Here are the stained windows remade when he smashed them.
(Cartoons quietly tucked away in long forgotten church records - yellow curling paper under piles of paperwork)
Twelve hundred years it has weathered reformation, revolution, More of an ode to God's glory than Handel ever wrote.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
It's late. In the dull beside light I am Half-submerged by duvet, Cheek pressed to my phone Or to your chest. What does it matter? I am counting your breaths, two to every one of mine (You'll tease my apparent cyanosis and I'll call you apnoeic when you snore) And waiting for the next laugh to erupt from my unguarded lips. With you I am soap suds, Light as air. I am elated. And with me, sea foam whispering in your ear, Bubbles bursting on your skin, How could you ever be sad?
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
Didn't get chance to post this yesterday - not that proud of it but here it is anyway!
7th April ~ Strength
You told us princesses weren't strong. Except for the one who donned trousers, Wielded a sword, Named herself 'Tom'. Because strong means man, And strong means 'fight'.
Then you decided women could be strong. If they wore tight leather, And blood-red lips. If they used seduction to do their work. Because if strong means woman, Then strong means 'sex'.
My daughters will be strong. They will wear lace, They will laugh easily. They will kill the world with kindness. And I will read them princess stories. Because strong means human, And strong means 'strong'.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
I don't know how it happened, I thought I'd taken care, Removed the mirrors, closed the doors, But the evidence is there, This morning I woke up, To a March day, dry and mild, And knew just by the look of him, This is not my child.
There must have been someone helping. Maybe the doctors were involved, They swapped the babies, thinking their deceit would stay unsolved. But it's obvious to anyone, His deep blue eyes are wild, He's not human, and for sure, This is not my child.
My husband doesn't see it, Says I need to go with him, My mother thinks I'm crazy, That I'm acting on a whim. But I know without a single doubt, Can you not see why I'm so riled? You're all lying, but I know, This is not my child.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
Your joints warned you Of the approaching cold spell, As you stood on the mat that said 'welcome' but meant the opposite. Despite the chill, Your palms thought that this barren place was a desert, and left an ocean of sweat on your grey trouser leg. Forgiveness is hard to give, Harder still to beg for.
You brought an orchid to support your case, but it Withered in the frosty reception.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
You didn't buy her flowers, you gave her honey dripping from the comb fresh from your apiary, Poetry written at midnight, hovering over guitar strings just in case she ever asked to hear it, A cheap dolphin-curved charm with a topaz belly to hang from her bracelet, Her eyes picked out in vivid greens, a week's work modelled on a photo, as she was too busy to pose. You were so stupidly generous, with pieces of your wide heart, more foolish than if you put the stars in her hands and asked her to blow them away.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
Dance with me. You can be the sun and I'll be the earth. No, actually, You be the earth. I'll be the moon. Either way I will orbit you. Let the plain white ceiling and lino floor be the Milky Way, we are standing on the midnight luxury of space and it is silent; you cannot hear a word I am saying. Let me show you. The law of gravity has never been clearer- here are two celestial bodies, forever attracted to one another and yet I am just that little bit too much myself to become part of you. So let's dance, give me your heat, your light or let me pull your oceans back and forth with each spin of your axis. I will never turn my face from you. Not until you crumple in on yourself, suck me into your disappearance, the opposite of you. Or we crash together in discordant catastrophe, and thus the world ends. For now, I will revolve Around you. Dance with me.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
We stood dangerously close to the edge of becoming something we were never meant to be. I spend too much time thinking of how hot and fast your breath was as you peered into the white water, enraged in its ongoing siege of the black cliffs. Neither of us spoke. The storm spiralled purple and electric ever closer, Threatening any second to betray us, tip us in, but I felt in that ever-widening gap between my lungs that if I fell, you would not come with me. We didn't hold hands. That was probably the point.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
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