Young Writers Society

Unfortunately, your car is missing all its tires and is very rusty and you lost the keys.

Fortunately, you find 2 antihistamine pills in your pocket, so you have a few hours to get more.

Unfortunately, the pharmacist is out sick.

Fortunately, you manage to find some behind the counter!

Unfortunately, they are actually placebos.

Fortunately, you don't know that, and soon enough your brain thinks that you're fine and that's all that really matters.

Unfortunately your brain actually isn't fine at this particular moment, and you are in the midst of a severe manic episode with coinciding psychosis as a result of your not having taken your 400 mg. dose of Lamictal, 200 mg. of Lithium, 600 mg. of Tryleptol, and enough Seroquel to give Ted Cruz a heart attack, which would lead to his having to undergo massive, potentially fatal open heart surgery and losing his seat in the Senate, most likely now occupied by Chuck Norris or Rob Schneider or something, who would ultimately run for president following the impeachment of God-Emperor Donald J. Trump, who, as we all know by now, loves Hispanic people more than anyone, is the greatest jobs president God has ever created, has completely arbitrary policies relating to the individual right to keeping pet falcons, and who is literally about to lose his beachfront mansion and nearby golf courses once Irma makes landfall on Saturday...and all this because, as I said earlier, the pharmacist is out sick, in bed dying of the Bubonic Plague, of which there was an outbreak in Washington state in 2016, which is kind of cool in a way, but people should not have to worry because it is as curable as the flu due to the strong, but obviously unavailable antibiotics developed in the 21st century.

Thanks Obama.

Fortunately, you realize that pet falcons are awesome, and your brain gets better.

Unfortunately, you realize this because a giant falcon is swooping overhead. You realize this at the same time the giant falcon realizes it is a mite peckish. It eats you.

Fortunately, it poops you back out.

Unfortunately, you stink.

Fortunately, it seems to have decided that you're its friend.

Unfortunately, that still doesn't change the fact that it is hungry and wants to eat you.

Fortunately, you point out a convenient herd of tasty deer nearby.

Unfortunately, he prefers human flesh.