EDIT: Shoot!!!! I missed the "less than 60 words part." I'm sorry. xD Please enjoy it nonetheless. (I'm not editing down but I put it in a spoiler to make it less embarrassing.)
.: GLOPPO :.
Spoiler! :
It's a busy world. When does anyone have time to actually eat breakfast when they wake up so early and need to take a shower? Who has time for dinner when you have homework or a job? Exactly! No one!
That, my friend, is why I introduce you to GLOPPO: The World's First Edible Shampoo! There will no longer be any need for awkward family dinners or hurried breakfast before leaving for work or school. Just take a shower and enjoy the luxuries that GLOPPO provides!
Simply use GLOPPO like any old shampoo, massaging the foam into your hair and stuff. You know how it goes. But—DO NOT WASH IT OFF. Please, use GLOPPO how you're supposed to. Eat it off. Shovel the foam into your mouth. If you have long hair, suck the shampoo through your teeth and into your mouth. Plug the drain so you can drink the foamy water like cereal milk. Pour the shampoo straight into your mouth from the bottle.
Ever wanted to eat a PB&J in the shower but you know that the bread'll get soggy? How about spaghetti? A hot dog? Ramen noodles? A salad bowl? Even ice cream? Well guess what? You can have all of those things, mess-free!
GLOPPO comes in an assortment of delectable flavors. Just a few of our flavors include: Peanut Butter and Jelly Nacho Cheese Cookies and Cream Mango Pineapple Hamburger Smoothie Cucumber Kiwi And many more!
Every bottle contains the proper nutrients, vitamins, and minerals needed in every perfect diet. But most importantly, GLOPPO tastes great!
Buy it at your local CVS, Walgreens, or Walmart!
Do not swallow. If consumed, contact the Poison Control Center immediately and and ask friends and families to pray for your life. Side effects include extreme cases of nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting. Several cases of liver damage have been reported. If contact with eyes occurs, rinse with cool water immediately. If redness persists in the eyeball, head to the ER and hope that you'll have any eyesight left at all by the next day.
Product: Poquette
John 14:27: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Introducing Poquette™, the all-new instant pocket!
Pockets make life better, whether you want a place to store your keys, your bubblegum or a handy monocle. Simply tear off the sticky backing and apply.
Disclaimer: overuse of Poquette™ may result in you being unable to find anything you’re looking for. Not suitable for the fashion conscious.
Do you ever get bored of your hair sometimes? Did you ever want a new hairdo that wouldn't break your budget? Well, introducing... WIGGY, a brand of wigs that are affordable and cute! Starting on September 14th, we have a deal of 50% off for ANY wig! Just call 1-800-WIGS for all the details!
We are not responsible for damaged wigs. Buyers must be 14 or above. At the end of September, our deal will be gone. If Wiggy harms any person, you can call us with the above number and get a refund.
Have you ever eaten frog's legs, thought that they were delicious, but that they were missing something? And a few hours later, you eat French fries and think that they are delicious too, but are also missing something? Well, at Frigger's you can order the special food, Friggers! They are the perfect blend of frogs and fries that you won't regret. Only $6.79 for a 2 oz. pack!
Product: Barfloodles
Dumbledore: "Now, it's great that you've been saving the school and all Harry, but unfortunately your grades have been a tad low, and, well... perhaps Gandalf could explain it better... hit it, Gandalf!
It's the MOST DELICIOUS! It's the COMPLETELY SCRUMPTIOUS! It's the... HAPERDISHY! Nothing tastes better than genetically modified fish! Combined with the DNA of Tape worms, nothing tastes better than Haperdishy! It even helps you become hungry faster (by eating some of your food once digested) so that you can eat more! Only ONE DOLLAR PER (atom) So...
COME AND GET YOUR HAPERDISHY!
Product: Wiggley muggles.
Dumbledore: "Now, it's great that you've been saving the school and all Harry, but unfortunately your grades have been a tad low, and, well... perhaps Gandalf could explain it better... hit it, Gandalf!
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