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Awful Teen Paranormal Romance Story GO!



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Reviews: 59
Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:13 pm
SirenCymbaline says...



I found this really funny fill-in-the-blanks story generator here- http://www.springhole.net/humor/awfulteenparanormalromance.htm

You basically fill in the word blanks as indicated, and see what you can come up with.
Extra points for stupid and interesting titles.

Or be original and write one from scratch like the original smarty pants you are.

Let the awful fun begin!
Last edited by SirenCymbaline on Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Bad souls have born better sons, better souls born worse ones -St Vincent
  





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59 Reviews



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Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:26 pm
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SirenCymbaline says...



I used the generator. With a little fiddling, mine turned out like this.


Mitch + Buddy 4eva
or
Were-sparklefairypirez r da bomb


Mitch knew Buddy was different from the other boys at school.

She noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he loudly thunked his head when he tripped and hit his head on things.
Also, he seemed to have an unusual knowledge about Taxidermy.
And just last Tuesday after Dissection 101, she saw him drink enough coffee to caffeine poison an ox.

There was something else she knew: she was in love with him. But she didn't know how to win his affections, for he was always cold and distant.

One night, Mitch was reading unscrupulous gossip column about paranormal creatures when she realized the truth: Buddy was a were-sparklefairypire.

The next day after class, Mitch saw Buddy head off into Museum of Taxidermy. ''It's now or never,'' she told herself with resignation, and lurked after him.

When she caught up to him, he was standing behind a particularly ugly modern art sculpture.

''Buddy, it's me, Mitch. I... I have to tell you something... I love you!''

He sighed deeply and sluggishly traipsed toward her. ''Oh, Mitch, there are things you don't understand about me.''

''I know more than you think,'' she breathed. ''I know that you're a were-sparklefairypire.''

''It's more complicated than that,'' he said, staring into her vacant eyes. ''Love between your kind and mine is forbidden. They would destroy us both if they knew.''

''I don't care,'' Mitch said. ''I could never live without you.''

''Really?''

''Truly,'' she answered.

He reached up and gently caressed her hand in his sparkly hands. ''I love you, too,'' he whispered.
And then he kissed her. His kisses were like onion-scented sushi upon her lips.
The days and weeks that followed were obnoxiously, scandalously sparkly.
They watched a documentary on the history and manufacture of various useless objects of novelty, played patty-cake, and squinting at each other. It seemed that nothing could come between them.
One night while hopscotch, a guffaw was heard from outside the supplies closet window. ''They've found us,'' Buddy whispered solemnly.
Mitch sighed. ''At least we've had this short time together.''
''I won't let them take you from me,'' he promised.

As soon as he spoke, the enemy's leader burst through the door. ''Stand aside!'' the leader ordered Buddy.
''Never! She is my true love, and you will not take her from me!'' Buddy stood defiantly between Mitch and the leader.

''Then you will both die!''

The leader lunged forward, but Buddy stood his ground. With a yawn, he met the leader head-on. In a swift move, Buddy ripped off the leader's necktie and kicked him in the shin. Mortally wounded, the leader gasped and died.
Seeing their mighty leader fall to Buddy's strength, his underlings panicked and ran away, disappearing into the night.
''That was amazing,'' Mitch breathed.

Buddy leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers, his onion-scented breath caressing her cheek. ''Your love for me gave me the strength I needed. Now, everything is perfect.''
''Almost perfect...''

''Almost?''

''Everything would be perfect if you made me like you. I know you can do it.''

''Are you sure? If I did this, you'd never be able to go anywhere without constantly shedding glitter ever again.''

''I'm sure,'' she breathed.

Buddy touched Mitch's fist, allowing his very essence to flow into her body. She sighed, then gasped.
Soon, the transformation was complete. Mitch was now a blindingly blingy were-sparklefairypire, just like Buddy. Everything truly was perfect.

The End does not come soon enough
Bad souls have born better sons, better souls born worse ones -St Vincent
  





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Tue Jul 22, 2014 12:53 pm
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TakeThatYouFiend says...



Frau Shmitt knew Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones was different from the other boys at school. She noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he bouncingly bounced his appendix when he bounced. Also, he seemed to have an unusual knowledge about evilness. And just last Tuesday after Physical, Health and Social Engineering, she saw him drink a 10 litre bottle of vodka down in one.
Tehere was something else she knew: she was in love with him. But she didn't know how to win his affections, for he was always cold and distant.
One night, Frau Shmitt was reading a label on a toilet cleaning product about paranormal creatures when she realized the truth: Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones was a evil demon of death and shit (tm)!
The next day after class, Frau Shmitt saw Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones head off into closet. ''It's now or never,'' she told herself with resignation, and sprightly skipped after him.When she caught up to him, he was standing behind a blue police box.
''Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones, it's me, Frau Shmitt. I... I have to tell you something... I love you!''
He sighed deeply and bounced toward her. ''Oh, Frau Shmitt, there are things you don't understand about me''
''I know more than you think,'' she breathed. ''I know that you're a evil demon of death and shit (tm).''
''It's more complicated than that,'' he said, staring into her superswag eyes. ''Love between your kind and mine is forbidden. They would destroy us both if they knew.''
''I don't care,'' Frau Shmitt said. ''I could never live without you.''
''Really?''
''Truly,'' she answered.
He reached up and gently caressed her lower abdomen in his awesomesauce hands. ''I love you, too,'' he whispered.And then he kissed her. His kisses were like garlic puree, spread on crusty wholegrain toast and garnished with cucumber and parsley-scented the inner foaming on the inside of a lunatic asylum cell upon her lips.
The days and weeks that followed were EVIL. They assassinated JFK, mugged grannies, and took illegal class A drugs. It seemed that nothing could come between them.
One night while playing contact-snap, a fanfare was heard from outside the photographic darkroom window.
''They've found us,'' Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones whispered solemnly.
Frau Shmitt sighed. ''At least we've had this short time together.''
''I won't let them take you from me,'' he promised.
As soon as he spoke, the enemy's leader burst through the door. ''Stand aside!'' the leader ordered Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones.
''Never! She is my true love, and you will not take her from me!'' Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones stood defiantly between Frau Shmitt and the leader.
''Then you will both die!''
The leader lunged forward, but Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones stood his ground. With a GERONIMO! , he met the leader head-on. In a swift move, Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones ripped off the leader's hamstring and kicked him in the right eardrum. Mortally wounded, the leader gasped and died.
Seeing their mighty leader fall to Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones's strength, his underlings panicked and ran away, disappearing into the night.
''That was amazing,'' Frau Shmitt breathed.
Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers, his garlic puree, spread on crusty wholegrain toast and garnished with cucumber and parsley-scented breath caressing her cheek. ''Your love for me gave me the strength I needed. Now, everything is perfect.''
''Almost perfect...''
''Almost?''
''Everything would be perfect if you made me like you. I know you can do it.''
''Are you sure? If I did this, you'd never be able to not be EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL again.''
''I'm sure,'' she breathed.Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones bounced Frau Shmitt's left eardrum, allowing his very essence to flow into her body. She sighed, then shouted "I'M MELTING!".
Soon, the transformation was complete. Frau Shmitt was now an EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL evil demon of death and shit (tm), just like Jeremiah Obediah Jackinory Jones. Everything truly was perfect.The End.
You know that studded leather armour in films? Nobody wore that. I mean, how would metal studs improve leather armour?
  





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Wed Jul 23, 2014 2:59 am
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cleverclogs says...



Terrible Teen Paranormal Romance Story

Ravencial knew Jimmy Bob was different from the other boys at school.

She noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he merrily winked his toe when he laughed. Also, he seemed to have an unusual knowledge about mathematics. And just last Tuesday after coolness class, she saw him did a super fantastic ninja backflip.

There was something else she knew: she was in love with him. But she didn't know how to win his affections, for he was always cold and distant.

One night, Ravencial was reading the hottest cockroach gossip column there was about paranormal creatures when she realized the truth: Jimmy Bob was a penguin-gloved, marshmallow-swallowing platywolf!

The next day after class, Ravencial saw Jimmy Bob head off into a cockroach emporium. ''It's now or never,'' she told herself with resignation, and hopped on one foot after him.

When she caught up to him, he was standing behind the Statue of Liberty.

''Jimmy Bob, it's me, Ravencial . I... I have to tell you something... I love you!''

He sighed deeply and crawled toward her. ''Oh, Ravencial , there are things you don't understand about me.''

''I know more than you think,'' she breathed. ''I know that you're a penguin-gloved, marshmallow-swallowing platywolf.''

''It's more complicated than that,'' he said, staring into her purple eyes. ''Love between your kind and mine is forbidden. They would destroy us both if they knew.''

''I don't care,'' Ravencial said. ''I could never live without you.''

''Really?''

''Truly,'' she answered.

He reached up and gently caressed her eyelash in his happy hands. ''I love you, too,'' he whispered.
And then he kissed her. His kisses were like rotten fish-scented fat upon her lips.
The days and weeks that followed were funny. They yodeled, crashed a cockroach convention, and ate unhealthy food. It seemed that nothing could come between them.
One night while unwraveling a blanket, a DOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO was heard from outside the squash court window. ''They've found us,'' Jimmy Bob whispered solemnly.
Ravencial sighed. ''At least we've had this short time together.''
''I won't let them take you from me,'' he promised.

As soon as he spoke, the enemy's leader burst through the door. ''Stand aside!'' the leader ordered Jimmy Bob.
''Never! She is my true love, and you will not take her from me!'' Jimmy Bob stood defiantly between Ravencial and the leader.

''Then you will both die!''

The leader lunged forward, but Jimmy Bob stood his ground. With a screams, he met the leader head-on. In a swift move, Jimmy Bob ripped off the leader's lip and kicked him in the thigh. Mortally wounded, the leader gasped and died.
Seeing their mighty leader fall to Jimmy Bob's strength, his underlings panicked and ran away, disappearing into the night.
''That was amazing,'' Ravencial breathed.

Jimmy Bob leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers, his rotten fish-scented breath caressing her cheek. ''Your love for me gave me the strength I needed. Now, everything is perfect.''
''Almost perfect...''

''Almost?''

''Everything would be perfect if you made me like you. I know you can do it.''

''Are you sure? If I did this, you'd never be able to scratch an itch again.''

''I'm sure,'' she breathed.

Jimmy Bob partied Ravencial 's elbow, allowing his very essence to flow into her body. She sighed, then cacawed.

Soon, the transformation was complete. Ravencial was now a lazy penguin-gloved, marshmallow-swallowing platywolf, just like Jimmy Bob. Everything truly was perfect.
The End.
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Reviews: 1634
Mon Jul 28, 2014 12:43 pm
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Deanie says...



Ettie knew Matthew was different from the other boys at school.

She noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he slowly sung to his elbow when he ran. Also, he seemed to have an unusual knowledge about history. And just last Tuesday after English literature, she saw him sing high opera notes until the windows broke.

There was something else she knew: she was in love with him. But she didn't know how to win his affections, for he was always cold and distant.

One night, Ettie was reading A mystery novel about paranormal creatures when she realized the truth: Matthew was a Paranormal Panda!

The next day after class, Ettie saw Matthew head off into the library. ''It's now or never,'' she told herself with resignation, and stumbled after him.

When she caught up to him, he was standing behind a pillar.

''Matthew, it's me, Ettie. I... I have to tell you something... I love you!''

He sighed deeply and snuck toward her. ''Oh, Ettie, there are things you don't understand about me.''

''I know more than you think,'' she breathed. ''I know that you're a Paranormal Panda.''

''It's more complicated than that,'' he said, staring into her beautiful eyes. ''Love between your kind and mine is forbidden. They would destroy us both if they knew.''

''I don't care,'' Ettie said. ''I could never live without you.''

''Really?''

''Truly,'' she answered.
He reached up and gently caressed her knee in his hilarious hands. ''I love you, too,'' he whispered.
And then he kissed her. His kisses were like Earlgrey tea-scented Baby's butts upon her lips.
The days and weeks that followed were honest. They went skinny dipping, went to the museum, and went to Hollywood. It seemed that nothing could come between them.
One night while indoor sky diving, a bang was heard from outside the attic window. ''They've found us,'' Matthew whispered solemnly.
Ettie sighed. ''At least we've had this short time together.''

''I won't let them take you from me,'' he promised.
As soon as he spoke, the enemy's leader burst through the door. ''Stand aside!'' the leader ordered Matthew.

''Never! She is my true love, and you will not take her from me!'' Matthew stood defiantly between Ettie and the leader.

''Then you will both die!''
The leader lunged forward, but Matthew stood his ground. With a moan, he met the leader head-on. In a swift move, Matthew ripped off the leader's thigh and kicked him in the cheek. Mortally wounded, the leader gasped and died.
Seeing their mighty leader fall to Matthew's strength, his underlings panicked and ran away, disappearing into the night.

''That was amazing,'' Ettie breathed.
Matthew leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers, his Earlgrey tea-scented breath caressing her cheek. ''Your love for me gave me the strength I needed. Now, everything is perfect.''

''Almost perfect...''

''Almost?''

''Everything would be perfect if you made me like you. I know you can do it.''

''Are you sure? If I did this, you'd never be able to drink fresh water again.''

''I'm sure,'' she breathed.
Matthew danced on Ettie's forehead, allowing his very essence to flow into her body. She sighed, then screamed.
Soon, the transformation was complete. Ettie was now a tired Paranormal Panda, just like Matthew. Everything truly was perfect.
The End.
Trust in God and all else follows.

Deanie, dominating the world since it was cool @Pompadour, 2014
Your username reminds me of a hotdog @Stegosaurus, 2015
Tried to make puns out of your username, but every attempt has been Deanied @Candywizard, 2015
  





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Mon Jul 28, 2014 1:35 pm
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Zolen says...



Terrible Teen Paranormal Romance Story

#Pro4Life knew Babedo Slim was different from the other boys at school.

She noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he almost broke his nipple when he danced. Also, he seemed to have an unusual knowledge about tic-tack-toe. And just last Tuesday after Tapdancing, she saw him stoping a speeding bullet with only a ear (for 2 seconds, then it went out the other side).

There was something else she knew: she was in love with him. But she didn't know how to win his affections, for he was always cold and distant.

One night, #Pro4Life was reading 4chan about paranormal creatures when she realized the truth: Babedo Slim was a ear worm!

The next day after class, #Pro4Life saw Babedo Slim head off into the man cave that only emotionless teens who fall in love with ear worms can enter. ''It's now or never,'' she told herself with resignation, and skateboarded after him.

When she caught up to him, he was standing behind a ten foot tall statue of a cowboy named ted.

''Babedo Slim, it's me, #Pro4Life. I... I have to tell you something... I love you!''

He sighed deeply and stomped toward her. ''Oh, #Pro4Life, there are things you don't understand about me.''

''I know more than you think,'' she breathed. ''I know that you're a ear worm.''

''It's more complicated than that,'' he said, staring into her creepily giant doll eyes eyes. ''Love between your kind and mine is forbidden. They would destroy us both if they knew.''

''I don't care,'' #Pro4Life said. ''I could never live without you.''

''Really?''

''Truly,'' she answered.

He reached up and gently caressed her left pinky in his disgusting hands. ''I love you, too,'' he whispered.
And then he kissed her. His kisses were like corpse flower-scented poison ivy upon her lips.
The days and weeks that followed were violent and chaotic. They went to TGI Fridays (with five canadian fishermen), went to iceland, and ran through a field of thistles. It seemed that nothing could come between them.
One night while playing in traffic , a explosion was heard from outside the stolen bedroom window. ''They've found us,'' Babedo Slim whispered solemnly.
#Pro4Life sighed. ''At least we've had this short time together.''
''I won't let them take you from me,'' he promised.

As soon as he spoke, the enemy's leader burst through the door. ''Stand aside!'' the leader ordered Babedo Slim.
''Never! She is my true love, and you will not take her from me!'' Babedo Slim stood defiantly between #Pro4Life and the leader.

''Then you will both die!''

The leader lunged forward, but Babedo Slim stood his ground. With a screaming, he met the leader head-on. In a swift move, Babedo Slim ripped off the leader's least loved fist and kicked him in his pretty little nose. Mortally wounded, the leader gasped and died.
Seeing their mighty leader fall to Babedo Slim's strength, his underlings panicked and ran away, disappearing into the night.
''That was amazing,'' #Pro4Life breathed.

Babedo Slim leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers, his corpse flower-scented breath caressing her cheek. ''Your love for me gave me the strength I needed. Now, everything is perfect.''
''Almost perfect...''

''Almost?''

''Everything would be perfect if you made me like you. I know you can do it.''

''Are you sure? If I did this, you'd never be able to take a bath again.''

''I'm sure,'' she breathed.

Babedo Slim punched #Pro4Life's face for three whole hours, even thought he lacked hands, allowing his very essence to flow into her body. She sighed, then laughed, her body growing slender and ridged, loosing her arms and legs, even her nose. As it went on more of her humanity was lost and ear worm like traits emerged.
Soon, the transformation was complete. #Pro4Life was now an alcoholic ear worm, just like Babedo Slim. Everything truly was perfect.
The End.
Self quoting is the key to sounding wise and all knowing.
  





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Tue Sep 08, 2020 3:08 pm
CassieList says...



Terrible Teen Paranormal Romance Story

Allana knew Alex was different from the other boys at school.

She noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he Fully Made his Arm when he Got. Also, he seemed to have an unusual knowledge about Psychology . And just last Tuesday after PE, she saw him Hit all the pins down in one shot.

There was something else she knew: she was in love with him. But she didn't know how to win his affections, for he was always cold and distant.

One night, Allana was reading Pamphlet about paranormal creatures when she realized the truth: Alex was a Cat girl!

The next day after class, Allana saw Alex head off into Basement. ''It's now or never,'' she told herself with resignation, and Skipped after him.

When she caught up to him, he was standing behind Pillars.

''Alex, it's me, Allana. I... I have to tell you something... I love you!''

He sighed deeply and Crawled toward her. ''Oh, Allana, there are things you don't understand about me.''

''I know more than you think,'' she breathed. ''I know that you're a Cat girl.''

''It's more complicated than that,'' he said, staring into her Blue eyes. ''Love between your kind and mine is forbidden. They would destroy us both if they knew.''

''I don't care,'' Allana said. ''I could never live without you.''

''Really?''

''Truly,'' she answered.

He reached up and gently caressed her Leg in his Small hands. ''I love you, too,'' he whispered.
And then he kissed her. His kisses were like Bleach-scented Down comforter upon her lips.
The days and weeks that followed were Kind. They Rode our bikes, Swam in the lake, and Read a book. It seemed that nothing could come between them.
One night while Snuggle next to the fire, a Bang was heard from outside the Bedroom window. ''They've found us,'' Alex whispered solemnly.
Allana sighed. ''At least we've had this short time together.''
''I won't let them take you from me,'' he promised.

As soon as he spoke, the enemy's leader burst through the door. ''Stand aside!'' the leader ordered Alex.
''Never! She is my true love, and you will not take her from me!'' Alex stood defiantly between Allana and the leader.

''Then you will both die!''

The leader lunged forward, but Alex stood his ground. With a Yell, he met the leader head-on. In a swift move, Alex ripped off the leader's Hand and kicked him in the Foot. Mortally wounded, the leader gasped and died.
Seeing their mighty leader fall to Alex's strength, his underlings panicked and ran away, disappearing into the night.
''That was amazing,'' Allana breathed.

Alex leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers, his Bleach-scented breath caressing her cheek. ''Your love for me gave me the strength I needed. Now, everything is perfect.''
''Almost perfect...''

''Almost?''

''Everything would be perfect if you made me like you. I know you can do it.''

''Are you sure? If I did this, you'd never be able to A warm shower again.''

''I'm sure,'' she breathed.

Alex Didn’t Allana's Finger, allowing his very essence to flow into her body. She sighed, then Scream.
Soon, the transformation was complete. Allana was now A soft Cat girl, just like Alex. Everything truly was perfect.
lp was here :)

she/they

"Most opportunities are created by luck. It takes skill to grasp those opportunities and turn it into success." -Technoblade
  








I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.
— Margaret Atwood