Young Writers Society

I don't know about you, but when it comes to me, I tend to be extremely picky on the types of movies that I watch.
Most of my time is spent watching movies, but hardly do I come across a movie that I absolutely love. To get me to like it is one thing, to love it? Now that's a completely different story.

So I'm sitting at home, happily watching one of my favourite series, Chuck, well what can I say, its funny, with a whole lot of action! When my mom comes home with this CD which is supposed to have like this new movie on it which hasn't even come out yet. She's supposed to like review it and send it back.

So I thought hey, why not. Besides its not like I really did have a choice in the matter, she's the mom, and I'm the kid...need I say more?

Okay, so anyway, I slip the CD into the DVD, Praying, and hoping this isn't going to be a waste of my time. And as it turns out, perphaps sitting on my bed and crying myself to sleep would have been a better usage of my time.

I have never watched a movie in my entire 17 years of life where even the opening credits gets to me! It just seemed to go on, and on and on! And to make matters worse, there were no stars in the movie. Now, like most people, I tend to like movies with at least 2 stars in it because I'm guaranteed that its not going to be, hmm, let's see the word for it...Awful.

So this no star movie has a total of 5 minutes opening credits...like I need to know the name and telephone number of the make-up artist! Longest 5 minutes of my life!

Then the movie starts, and the first scene, girl running in the woods...and I thought hey, that's not so bad, you can't possibly go wrong with a little suspense at the beginning. (You know, the "Where is she running to?" "Who is she running from?" kind of suspense.) Ladies and gentlemen....it turns out you can go wrong with suspense! Especially if it makes no sense whatsoever with the plot of the movie.

15 minutes into the film and I'm pretty sure its the worst movie I have ever watched, scratch that! It's the worst movie ever produced that is yet to be released!

In short, the script was poorly written, the direction even worse, the costumes... don't even get me started on that, and the make-up...well let's just say, if I were the make-up artist, next time I'd think a little deeper before adding my name and phone number to the opening credits.

THE END!

I know exactly how you feel. I have not seen the movie, but there's nothing more upsetting that seeing a badly done movie. I watch a lot of movies, but not all of them I love. Bad movies are depressing.
For example, I really didn't like Kick-Ass. Too much blood, and the narrative storyline was weak. And, what the hell was Nicolas Cage thinking!? Seriously?
Anyways, I know that feeling, and I will certainly not watch that movie:D
xx

It's difficult to take this review seriously as a review for several reasons. First, and most importantly, this is all opinion-based. You really don't give us examples from the movie to support your points aside from the mention of way-too-long credits and a lack of stars. Secondly, the language you used is rather immature for a review both grammatically and word-choice-wise.

For example:

So I'm sitting at home, happily watching one of my favourite series, Chuck, well what can I say, its funny, with a whole lot of action! When my mom comes home with this CD which is supposed to have like this new movie on it which hasn't even come out yet. She's supposed to like review it and send it back.

In those two sentences, you have a random aside that completely breaks up the original sentence into two fragments, making it quite incoherent as a thought. The last quoted sentence has a completely unnecessary "like" in there that makes it sound like you can't even make up your own mind on what your mother is doing, which leads to a loss of credibility in your readers' eyes.

Informality is one thing, and personality is another, but when reviewing something, it's better to keep a bit of professionalism in the back of your mind to ensure that your writing appears clean and credible to your reader. After all, we're taking your word on whether a movie is worth watching, so your word had better establish itself as being pretty credible.

On a more opinionated note, I think the presence of stars in a movie is overrated, and judging a move based on whether or not it has stars without having even watched it strikes me as being rather shallow, which it turn further undermined your credibility in my eyes. While it's fine to mention that there are no stars in this movie, and that you personally prefer movies that have at least one or two stars in them, passing a value judgement on the movie then and there strikes me as being hasty. You might want to omit it, else include a brief reasoning of why you find movies with stars are better than movies without them.