I just started this, I know, I always start new stuff. I have this whole story pretty much planned out. I wasn't quite sure how to start it, however. So, this is one attempt at starting it. I'm not sure yet...I might change it a little. But, here it goes...Sorry if it's kind of long...
Chapter One
“If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.”
-Anonymous
Shay looked down at her chipping, black nail polish. It was perfect this morning, but she had been picking at it repeatedly. It didn’t really matter how she looked anyways.
“A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam. And for a brief moment, its glory and beauty belong to our world. But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it....We have gathered here today to celebrate the life of Landon Connor Marshall,” the preacher started.
Shay leaned forward to sneak a peek at her parents, down the row. Her mom, Lacy, had a single tear falling down her cheek. Her dad, Ben, had his arm around her, comforting her.
“He shared his life with us for thirteen wonderful years. In his memory we gather and are thankful,” the preacher continued.
Shay glanced over at her brother, Aiden, Landon’s twin brother. Unshed tears filled his eyes. Shay grabbed his hand and squeezed it; Aiden closed his eyes and a tear slid down his cheek.
This wasn’t fair; Landon was such a good person. Shay stopped paying attention to the reading and focused on other things. They chose to have a private service. Landon’s wake was the day before. Shay hated it; half the people there didn’t even know her brother. They used excuses for why they were there, especially the girls. Shay knew they were just there because they thought Landon was hot. “He was in my gym class,” or, “We talked a little,” were common excuses. Sometimes they said things like, “He was a good person,” when what those girls really wanted to say was, “God, Landon was so hot! Now I have nobody to stare at in Chemistry!” It sickened Shay.
However, at least some people actually gave a shit about Landon. His close friends came, and his family. They gave their condolences, said he was a good person. He was more then a good person, he was perfect.
Anxiously, Shay waited for when she would have to speak. Her parent’s were going to speak first, then Ryan, her older brother. Shay would speak after him, and then Aiden. Shay knew Aiden probably shouldn’t speak. He wasn’t ready, he was in complete denial. He wasn’t forced, he wanted to do it, but, Shay didn’t want him to breakdown in the middle of whatever speech he had planned.
Aiden and Landon were best friends. They were identical, you couldn’t tell them apart. They talked the same, acted the same, and well, looked exactly the same. Aiden brushed his pale hair out of his eyes and leaned back in his chair.
“Lacy Marshall and Ben Marshall would like to say some words about their son,” the preacher said and stepped away from the podium. Lacy and Ben stood up and walked towards the front of the church.
Lacy’s blond hair was pulled into a loose bun, and she was wearing a conservative black dress. She looked worse everyday. Her eyes were bloodshot and tear-filled, her face pale. Shay swallowed and awaited her parent’s speech.
“It’s not the right order of things,” Ben started. “Parents shouldn’t bury their children, their children should bury them. Landon was pretty close to perfect. He was always happiest when he was spending time with his friends or family. A people person, you might call him. It was hard to get annoyed with someone like Landon, he was always so innocent. He cared about everything, and couldn’t stand pain. Hate was an emotion he rarely felt, he was the type of person who found good in everything and anyone.” Ben turned the microphone to his wife.
“I’m forced to live a nightmare today,” Lacy’s voice broke. “To bury a son is like burying part of yourself. But, Landon is in a good place, though I’d much rather have him here with me.
I remember he always stuck up for his family. Especially Aiden,” Shay glanced over at Aiden, he was staring straight ahead, a tear spilling down his pale cheek.
“He used to take the blame for him all the time, even if Aiden didn’t want him too. That’s just how he was. He had a lot of friends, and always made good grades. He tried his hardest to be the best he could. It’s hard now, to realize that he will never be able to live out his dreams. He said he wanted to be a doctor, to help people. I wanted that for him,” Lacy sighed. “Even though he’s not here anymore, I think that Landon had a special place in his heart for all of you. Thank you for coming, he would appreciate it.” Tears started spilling down Lacy’s cheeks as she grabbed Ben’s hand and they started back towards their seats.
Ryan, Shay, and Aiden stood up and walked towards the podium. Ryan clutched a piece of paper in his hand, he cleared his throat. “My brother was different from anybody I have ever known. He knew exactly what to say when I was mad about something. Even though I’m older then him, I think he was smarter then me; he knew more about life. He always told me that eventually we would die, so I shouldn’t take everything so seriously. Now he’s gone, and he never took life too seriously. There’s a part of my heart that’s missing, I would give anything to have him back.
Landon would give anything for us, I know that. He would give up things he wanted to do if one of us wanted to do something. The simplest things he did, they touched me.
He was a character, he could be serious when he had to be, and he could joke around. He was a good person, and he doesn’t deserve this. But, I love him, and I miss him. Thank you.” Ryan handed the microphone to Shay.
Shay swallowed and stared out into the audience, many people were crying. In a way, it made her feel more comfortable; she could show her emotions too. “My brother was a happy, carefree person. He was good at track and listening to me babble on about nonsense. Even if he didn’t care, he made it his mission to help out any way he could. That’s what made him truly special. Landon was two years younger then me, but, he could’ve been my twin.” She snuck a glance at Aiden. “We got along great, and easily related to each other.
I remember one time, I was upset about something that happened at school. A guy told me I was ugly, something stupid like that. He probably didn’t care, but I told him about it. It was funny, how he had so much advice. He told me this, ‘You’re a great person, Shay. You’re absolutely, positively, the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, ever. If some stupid guy is going to tell you you’re ugly, then it’s not worth being upset about.’ It meant a lot to me, and truly touched me. I think all of you should think of a special moment you had with Landon. It shows what kind of person he was, a truly caring, compassionate person. I think I’ll remember his smile most. It could light up the world; it cheered me up whenever I was upset.” Shay felt the tears spill down her cheeks, hot and salty. “I’ll always remember him as my little brother, but, he was taken from us way too soon.” Ryan touched her back as she handed the microphone to Aiden.
Aiden stared at it a moment. He took the crumpled, yellow piece of paper out of his pocket and set it on the podium. Ryan grabbed his hand, just in case he wanted to stop talking. Aiden coughed and stared down at the paper. “Landon wasn’t just my twin, he was part of me. We were really close, I could tell him anything. He knew what to say, always. He definitely had a way with words. I wish I could’ve been more like him, even though people always say we were exactly alike. He taught me things about myself, things I wouldn’t be able to figure out alone. He was a special person.” Shay watched as Aiden rubbed at his eyes and brushed his hair off his face.
“I don’t think that missing someone is about how long it’s been since you’ve talked or seen each other. It’s about when you’re doing something, and all you want is for them to do it with you. Or, when you’re watching TV and something funny happens, and you just want to tell them about it. This happened to me, I ran all the way to our bedroom to tell him about what happened, and then, I realized he wasn’t there. Life is like a game sometimes; I feel like I’ve just lost a life, and I can’t get it back. Landon could see right through me, he always knew if I was upset. It seemed like he could read my mind. I miss the days where we would laugh about nothing and just have a good time. I miss having someone who truly cared about me. I miss having someone I could be myself around. I really, really miss him, and I honestly don’t know what to do about it. I’m not the same without him,” Aiden started sobbing. “It doesn’t feel right at all.”
Ryan grabbed his arm and hugged him, “Let’s go back to our seats now,” he whispered and led Aiden to his seat. Shay followed them, the people in the audience looked as upset as Aiden. It was hard to watch someone so young suffer. Maybe they thought, like she had, that Aiden shouldn’t have spoken.
When it was time for the burial, they walked outside the church and towards the cemetery behind it.
Everybody attending the funeral gathered around the open grave and the preacher started speaking. Shay watched as they lowered the casket into the ground. She glanced around at Aiden, whose shoulders were shaking from sobs. The preacher took some earth from the ground and scattered it over the casket. Lacy tossed a rose onto the casket and a few others did the same.
Shay noticed Aiden walking towards a bench near the church. “I’ll talk to him,” Ryan whispered into her ear, his voice breaking.
“I’ll come,” Shay sighed and followed Ryan towards where Aiden was sitting. Ryan sat next to Aiden on one side, Shay on the other.
Ryan wrapped his arms around Aiden’s small body, Aiden clung to him. His sobbing was quiet, but his shoulders were shaking uncontrollably, tears spilling down his cheeks. “It’s not fair,” he whispered. “It’s not fair…”
“I know,” Ryan whispered. “Believe me, I know.”
