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Apocalypse: What now? Chapter 2 pt 2

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Sun Sep 11, 2011 4:24 pm
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captaindomdude says...

Spoiler! :
Hey there reader, chapter 2 is now up in it's completion. You should read the prologue, chapter 1, and chapter 2 pt 1 before reading this, but hey, your choice. Enjoy and tell me what you think.

Chapter 2 part 2

He reached it and found it as dusty as the rest of the room, but the old touch pad still glowed slightly with power. G.R.A.N’s voice rang out again, “Oh, sorry, let me get that for you.”

The touch-pad suddenly lit up, it’s bright green interface clearly visible through the dust. On it was a list of numbers. Before his eyes the numbers seemed to select themselves in a seemingly random order. The door slid open with a hiss, and Markus stepped out. The hallway was in even worse condition then the room he came from. Much of the ceiling plaster had rotted away from lack of care, leaving the wiring and building frame exposed. The panels lay the entire length of the hallway. The ceiling lights that remained barely lit the darkness, their dim light hardly penetrating the dark emptiness. On the floor the yellow strip of light glowed softly, heading off to the left. Markus stood there confused, because the room across from him was labeled, “Cryogenic patient supply room.” He turned around and stuck his head back in the chamber room, asking, “G.R.A.N, why not just go into the supply room across from me?”

G.R.A.N’s voice entered the hallway in reply, “Because dearie, it seems that there is nothing in there. Supply lists are showing nothing in the racks or machines. How odd.”

Markus frowned, but then shrugged and followed the light. He gingerly stepped over the fallen ceiling panels and lights, and soon made it to the end of the hallway. There was a door to his right, though the door label had either fallen or faded away. Markus walked over and peered in through the door’s window. Through the dust, he made out several more of the AMP tables that were in the other room, though these looked much more advanced. He turned and continued following the yellow light, which had turned to the left and went down a short ways, ending at door with “Stairs” labeled on it. He pushed the door open and walked to the stairs, peering upward. The stairs were old metal affairs, with some clearly rusted steps. They only went up a few floors and, to his surprise, down. He couldn’t see how many floors though, because the downstairs were cut into the floor rather than on frames like the ones above it.

He shrugged and walked to the stairs going upward. He began taking the steps slowly, the physical exertion clearly visible on his face. He made it up one flight of steps and paused at the wall before making his way on the second flight. On his way up the second one of the rusted steps cracked and fell, sending his leg falling through the air. His other leg slipped backwards, and the resulting fall slammed his face into the steps above. He lay there in the cramped position, groaning as he tried to focus through the pain. His right left leg was stretched out behind him, his right leg through the hole. There wasn’t enough room to fall through after it, but blunt edges of the steps dug into his body. He groaned once more, gritted his teeth, and then slowly pushed himself up, withdrawing his leg from the newly created hole in the steps. He managed to brace his leg against a step, and slowly stood up. He hissed in pain as he tried to put weight on his ankle.
Great, I’m not healed a few hours before I mess it up’, He thought bitterly.

With gritted teeth, he limped his way up the rest of the stairs. Upon reaching the floor above, he stood there lopsided, trying not to put weight on his ankle, and looked around. A familiar yellow glow was visible through the bottom of the door to his right. The label said “Floor 1, Lobby, Offices, and Lounge”. He moved and pushed the door open. The familiar yellow glow was on the ground, heading down a short hallway and turning right where it runs into the wall. He walked down it, turned right, and found himself looking at another familiar sight; the ruined emptiness that seemed to pervade the rest of the building. He sighed and began stepping over some of the fallen ceiling panels, making it about halfway down the hall before stopping at a door. This door was sealed like the door to the chambers, with a similar keypad, though this one had a red screen.

G.R.A.N’s voice filled the hallway as she said, “This door needs a password like the one you came out of. …Strange, I need to reset this one. It’s been locked because of failed password attempts.”

G.R.A.N’s voice fell silent, leaving Markus wondering where her voice kept coming from. He hadn’t seen any speakers or screens on his way. As he wondered, the red screen faded to black, then lit up green, and the numbers appeared again. They selected themselves, and the door hissed open. Unlike the rest of the facility, the lounge room was fairly clean. Only a very thin layer of dust was visible, and the clean whiteness of the room remained. On one wall were a set of dark grey lockers with keypad locks. The other wall held a set of dark vending machines. In the center of the room were several couches, with a recliner and coffee table in the middle. In the corner of one wall was a dead television.

Markus stepped inside and immediately headed to the first locker he saw. The keypad lit up on at his presence, and once again, G.R.A.N accessed the pad and imputed the password. The lock clicked open, and Markus swung the locker open. Inside was a set of clothes in a strange fabric. Several crosses hung from the door, and on the top shelf was a decent sized leather-bound book. The title read “Manifesto of the State’s Holy Church”. Markus frowned, shrugged and pulled the clothes out of the locker. They were made out of a strange synthetic fabric, feeling a little like a windbreaker but thicker. There was a white shirt with a lion in dark red. The pants looked like jeans, but were made out of the same fabric. At the bottom of the locker was a plastic bag, holding a set of underclothes and a pair of grey socks. Markus grabbed that and threw the clothes on, disappointed at the lack of shoes.

Freshly clothed, he walked over to the vending machine and looked inside. None of the brands were familiar, but he could make out the standard assortment of candy, crackers, cookies, sodas and other snacks. 'Some things never change’ he thought as he waited a bit for them to light up and activate like everything else.

When they didn’t, he looked around for something to talk to G.R.A.N. not seeing anything, he called out “Hey G.R.A.N? Are you there?”

Her voice rang out in reply “Yes dearie, what is it?”

“Umm, I can’t access the vending machines, can you help me out?”

There was a slight pause, then “Hmm, it seems I can’t get at them either. They are completely out of power.”

Markus sighed, and turned back towards them. He thought for a moment, then turned and walked over to coffee table. He tried picking it up, and was surprised to see how light it was. Apparently it wasn’t real wood. Grinning mischievously, he backed up a bit and ran forward with a yell, holding the coffee table like a battering ram. It smashed against the glass and broke through, sending some shards into the floor but most of them fell into the machine. He backed up again and dropped the table to his right. Stepping towards the machine, he reached in grabbed random snacks and sodas. With that done, he walked over to the couch and dropped his feast. Grabbing the closest bag to him, he tore it open and began eating, enjoying his first meal since waking up. After his feast, he laid back contentedly, his stomach feeling full for the first time in over a hundred years.
"If beauty could be done without the pain, well I'd rather never see life's beauty again"-Modest Mouse.

"What lies beneath this mask is more then a man, it's an idea. And ideas are bulletproof" V, V for Vendetta.

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Sun Sep 11, 2011 4:52 pm
paraperson says...

Whoa! You've got a a very intriguing plot going on! I think your story has a feeling that's slightly creepy which I love. You use a lot of description, which is great. I would change this sentence, however.
The lock clicked open, and Markus swung the locker open.
Try wording it differently or use different word choice so you're not repeating the word open twice in one sentence, otherwise it sounds a little repetitive. I think you could just phrase it as "The lock clicked and Markus swung the locker open." Other than that, I think it sounds fantastic! Can't wait to find out what happens to Markus! Keep writing!
Without art, life is pointless.

A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.
— Paul Simon