Young Writers Society

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 4

~Chapter 2~

Hope rose, having gotten barely any sleep. She emerged from the hut-like structure she and Faith’s shared, dug out from the side of a sturdy tree. Yawning, and became aware of the sound of a scuffle. Immediately Hope snapped open her sleek wings and lifted off. The two earth elementals, Rachel and Chase, were fighting, flinging sand and dirt at each other. And, to her dismay, Rayne, the one king cobra morph, was hissing threateningly at Matt, a cyborg experiment, having had several types of vision infused into his eyes. This did not give him the upper hand in a fight, though. And Meg- the only fire elemental- was,as always, laughing her head off on the side lines howling “Fight! Fight!”
She groaned. Not a good way to start your morning.
After soaring down to the ground, she was ready to do as was needed to break it up. “Stop! Stop! Come on, people!” As she landed, Rachel had sent Chase to the ground with a solid kick, and walked away with a “Humph.” Matt ran and hid behind her broad wings, and Rayne transformed back into her human form- retaining some scattered scales and a long brown tail.
“He stepped on my tail while I was sunbathing!”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It was an accident!” He cowered.
“Relax. Relax! Rayne, he’s sorry. I know that your snake side can be… touchy. Use your human brain and figure it out.” Hope, the level-headed, replied calmly.
Glaring and unsatisfied, Rayne turned on her heel and strutted away. Hope heaved a large sigh. What now? It wasn’t like they had coffee, and they barely had any tea leaves. She walked over to the smokehouse, wondering what she could possibly find. With the digestive system of a falcon, Hope could basically eat anything that wasn’t completely burned or rancid. After finding a nice squirrel that was fresh, she looked around to make sure no one was around, and choked it down. Maybe she would hunt more later, maybe not. She walked out, her wings folded up, and strolled over to the garden. She went over to the garden area, seeing Alexandra sitting on the other side eating a fruit under a flowering tree. Hope checked the vine plants and sighed, as she saw they were not ripe yet. Suddenly, a stem of grapes ripened into a deep purple and the vine reached up to her. She smiled and took a few, just as Sam stepped up to her.
“Good morning, Sam.” The brown haired girl greeted him.
“Good morning, Hope. Have you seen Silver today?” He asked with a smile.
“Not yet. I’m sure she’s around. Thank you for the grapes.” It was most definitely his doing.
“Of course. Any friend of Silver’s is a friend of mine.” He flashed a rich smile and walked off.
Silver was lucky to have such a friend. Of course, that was fine. She had to put up with everyone who sheltered here, so she deserved it. Hope chuckled and moved on to make sure no other fights got picked.

At sunset she sat high in a tree, one of the tallest in the forest, and peacefully watched the sun’s final dance of the day. It was vibrant with threads of lavender and maroon, orange and pink. The clouds on the horizon were lined with silver, and the flood of color made the sun even more of a glowing orb. Hope watched, stroking her wings, feet dangling over the branch. She sat, undisturbed, until the swish of wings opening was heard. She perked up, suddenly twice as alert as she had just been. Hope felt a breeze on my shoulders as another being flew up behind her, one her size with just as large of wings. She recognized the impact of the wings on the air, so she stayed still as he drifted up on to her branch which was, thankfully, sturdy.
“What are you doing out here, all alone?” He asked with a deep chuckle.
Hope looked up. His straight hair reached half way to his shoulders and looked as if it had been colored by a raven’s feather. It was so naturally black, yet his skin was so pale in comparison. His dusty-gray wings folded up and pressed against his back. He shot his cocky smirk at her and sat down next to her on the branch.
“Enjoying my alone time. Don’t you have someone else to bug, Merlin?” She frowned.
“Nope.” He slid over and leaned against the tree trunk, putting his hands behind his head.
“You’re hopeless.” Hope scoffed in mock-anger.
“I know.” He bit back, sticking his tongue out at her.
As fast as the falcon that’s part of her, Hope grabbed him and threw him off the branch. He tried to catch on again, but she pushed him off again, causing him to fall and snap open his wings. He looked at her indignantly and stuck his tongue out again. Hope stuck mine out right back. He turned, and she sighed. He was annoying and childish, and she had no idea what was wrong with her. But, Hope just couldn’t get over how magnificent his broad wings were in the late sunset.


~Chapter 3~

“Hm…. Kate, Atrid, Payne, and… Faith, would you like to come on a scouting mission with me?” Hope asked when she’d set down. They all needed something to do.
“Sure. What are our objectives?” Faith asked.
“Same as always; pinpoint the enemy. If we see and white-coat patrols, we take them down.” Hope smiled. Good memories.
“Okay.” The others agreed.
They all set off and shifted into bird form; it was easier to go faster and not look as conspicuous. As she shifted, she felt her bulky body flow into the smaller, agile form. All at once everything was bigger, and all the air currents were stronger. Faith flew up beside her, dusty black wings gleaming in the sunlight. She smiled to herself. Faith was so dynamic, with black wings, a white body, and white blazes on her wing undersides. Atrid, a Pearl Kite, also had dark on top and her body was white. Her wing undersides were also light, but her tail wasn’t forked. They still both looked awesome.
Being a red tailed hawk, Payne’s wings were broad and strong. They were brown speckled with black, much like Hope’s, and lighter underneath, except that hers were darker on top, brown-black. Kate, on the other hand, was a Fork-tailed Storm Petrel. She had stripes of light and dark gray on her back that made v’s. And, she was a bit smaller than the falcons and hawks. But, that didn’t matter; she shot past the others anyways, also being an air elemental. Show off!
They flew over the forest, a misfit band of a falcon, a hawk, kites, and a petrel. Hope used her raptor vision to scan the land for white-coats. Soon enough, they found some, a group that seemed much warier than the last one. They spiraled and dived noiselessly into the trees, perching on a branch, hidden thickly by leaves. Hope watched the white-coats for a minute, considering the best battle strategy. There were five of her band and five white-coats, but Hope’s group had the disadvantage because this time the enemy was actually looking up and into the trees. They all ducked down when the men looked their way.
“What do you think?” Faith whispered to her friend.
“Well, ambush from above is out. I’m thinking some type of hit-and-run is our best option.” She cocked her head. “But I don’t know how well that would work.”
“What if you sent one of us to get reinforcements? Like, some of Grace’s forces. If they’re anything like us, then half of them are completely bored.”
“Good idea.” She turned to the others. “Alright here’s the plan: Kate, at my signal I need you to get some of the Terramorphs to help us. The rest of us need to keep them distracted… by being hawks and falcons and kites.” They nodded back. “On three… One…..Two…… Three!” Hope hissed and dove out of the leaves. “Ttssssssssrrrrrrrrrre!” She cried, still in hawk form, and flicked her claws out to assail one’s hat. She grabbed it and dropped it in another’s face. The others followed her, except Kate, who sped off like a silver bullet through the trees.

Grace was not the strongest. She was not the most influential, but she could be at times. In fact, the main reason she was such a good leader, and respected, was because of her ability to think things through. She was intelligent, and she got it. She was one of the first ones in the forest, and she got how to live as part animal and how to benefit from it. Once, Kyle (Kodiak Bear) and Riley (Lion) Actually fought her for dominance, being boys… and being part animal. She beat them hands down with tactics and her environment. Now they all respect her, and it’s worth it. True, she can be edgy when tried, but she is generally level-headed.
As so, Grace was sitting on a rock, her long dirty-blonde hairs that weren’t in her braid drifted around her shoulders as she spoke with Jack, her right-hand man.
“We need more supplies. It’s not like they let much into the forest these days, and random animals aren’t going to come wandering in under the fence.” She sighed. “I’m afraid that if we don’t do something soon, we’re going to accidentally start eating our own friends.”
After a moment of pause, he replied, “Sounds like we need a plan then.” His black wolf ear twitched.
Grace’s own ear twitched also, listening to something. She petted the tuft on the end as she turned to see a small gray bird fly through the trees. “Hail!” She called. The storm petrel glided over and shifted back into Kate, her brown hair pulled back.
“There’s a group of avians in the forest up against some white coats. We were wondering if you could spare someone to help.” Kate tried to regain her balance, get her land legs back.
Grace whirled around once more. In the clearing, several people had perked up. “Who wants to go?” A few hands shot up, and a few people got to their feet. “Kathrine and Kyle, go.” She nodded. They ran towards Kate, who gestured to them to follow and turned into a petrel again. They turned into their animal forms, panther and bear, and bounded after her.
Grace looked after them. “…..Jack?”
He looked up.
“Go find Xylon. I need a message sent….”

Soon enough, Hope saw a glint on the horizon. Kate, with two strong mammals. She smiled to herself and pulled up. Payne took his guy’s hat again and dropped it in the dirt. Astrid flew by with some guy’s sunglasses, chirping madly. Faith pulled up beside her, and all four of them began circling the white-coats, a scare factor. Kate zipped through them and pulled up to join them.
“What the-“ One stammered before seeing the Grizzly bear. “…Oh snap.”
The Florida Panther jumped on another and growled in his face. It then clawed a second while Kyle threw two into the trees. Hope dove at a bald guy again and ripped his coat. As Payne dived again, he pulled what looked like a taser gun with an upgrade out of his victim’s hands, and shouted a warning call.
Not good.
Hope kicked into evasive maneuvers as a dart flew past her. Kathrine knocked the gun out of the man’s hands and clawed at his leg. Soon enough they ran, but not without shooting a good number of times, and pegging Astrid in the wing. As they ran out of sight she faltered in her flight, and Faith swooped down to catch her as Astrid demorphed, unconscious. Faith and Payne demorphed and mounted her on their backs. She would make it home okay. Hope demorphed. Kyle also had a dart in his shaggy shoulder, but he didn’t seem to be effected. It must have either been defective or his immune system was too strong for it. Kathrine brushed it off him and they watched as Faith flung Astrid’s dart away.
Hope walked over to her friends and comrades. “Thanks a lot, you two.” She nodded to Kathrine and Kyle. “I’m not sure all of us would still be here without some help. I would be terrible if one of us got caught.”
Kathrine stood, her sandy hair shaggy from the run. “It was worth it to get away for a while. Will she be okay?” She gestured at Astrid.
“She’ll be out for a few hours, but after that she should be fine…..” What she didn’t say was assuming it was only a normal dart. “Anyways, I guess we’d all best be getting back.” She nodded to her comrades, who picked Astrid up again and hoisted her over their backs. “See ya around?”
“Definitely.” Kyle smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. “You birds get all the fun stuff!”

Hope was flying above Faith and Payne, who were taking turns carrying their fallen, and thankfully smaller, comrade. Kate flew a little ways ahead as a scout. They soon reached the Avian village, where Astrid was laid down and the group disbanded. Hope, after three days of leading patrols, was determined to get some alone time. She flew to the top of a tree in Falcon form, and just sat there, high above the action. Maybe she should go make a secluded nest or something. She really didn’t want to be bugged. She tucked her head under her wing…..
And was poked. By a finger, not a feather. She sighed.
“Hope? You’re all alone again.” Of course, it was Merlin the Magnificent Pest.
She looked at him. “Really? Really?” She just sighed and tried to ignore him. That didn’t work so well……
He laid down a little further down the branch. “Has anyone ever told you how... awe-inspiring you look in Falcon form?”
Lalala not listening….. Wait, what?
He went on. “How you’ve mastered the air currents is as good as how you’ve mastered handling patrols. You soar above the forest with your trained fliers. I bet many of the other animals are jealous.”
*Ahem* LALALALALALALALALA
“You probably never realize this, but you might be better than Silver.”
At that, she whipped her head out. “You know nothing about Silver! She works hard to keep all of us alive! She organizes building projects and makes sure no one dies! Her opinion is five times what yours is.” Hope spat. She raised her wings in an aggressive stance before leaping off and soaring away into the sky. But something nagged at her….
What if it’s true?

Hey,
This set of chapters was my favorite so far. Layers are being added, making this more intruiging and such. With my novel, I hit a block with reviewers around this time, so don't get discouraged. Find review threads that advertise following novels and ask them to review yours, and, above all, just keep writing. I assure you, someone's reading this, even if they aren't saying anything.

Yawning, and became aware of the sound of a scuffle.
This is a fragment and doesn't really make any sense. You could replace the and with a she.


Immediately Hope snapped open her dynamic wings and lifted off.
Dynamic is a rather eye catching word because it is a great word, but you use it at least three times in this rather short peice. I don't know if that's some kind of word for cool in this society or what, but it's definitely overused.

a cyborg experiment, having had several types of vision infused into his eyes.
What is a cyborg experiment doing in a forest? Don't change it. I'm just wondering.

And Meg- the only fire elemental- as always was laughing her
Being real nitpicky, the flow here is a little weird. It doesn't mesh. I was saying it to myself with a few variations and if you put was before as always it sounds better, but you do whatever you want.

Hope, the level-headed replied calmly.
I think you're missing a comma, and it has confused me. Either you mean "Hope, the level-headed," which means she's the level-headed person of the current group. Or you have a typo. I'm not sure.

With the digestive system of a hawk, Hope could basically eat anything that wasn’t completely burned or rancid.
A falcon and a hawk aren't the same thing. I would stick with the same bird or explain that she's made of a mixture.

She went over to the garden area, seeing Alexandra sitting on the other side eating a fruit under a flowering tree.
Why do you have a random character that serves no purpose? She does nothing through the whole scene.

She recognized the impact of the wings on the air, so she stayed still as he drifted up on to her branch which was, thankfully, sturdy.
“What are you doing out here, all alone?” He asked with a deep chuckle.
Hope looked up. His straight hair reached half way to his shoulders and looked as if it had been colored by a raven’s feather. It was so naturally black, yet his skin was so pale in comparison. His dusty-gray wings folded up and pressed against his back. He shot his cocky smirk at her and sat down next to her on the branch.
“Enjoying my alone time. Don’t you have someone else to bug?” She frowned.
“Nope.” He slid over and leaned against the tree trunk, putting his hands behind his head.
“You’re hopeless.” Hope scoffed in mock-anger.
“I know.” He bit back, sticking his tongue out at her.
As fast as the falcon that’s part of her, Hope grabbed him and threw him off the branch. He tried to catch on again, but she pushed him off again, causing him to fall and snap open his wings. He looked at her indignantly and stuck his tongue out again. Hope stuck mine out right back. He turned, and she sighed. He was annoying and childish, and she had no idea what was wrong with her. But, Hope just couldn’t get over how magnificent his broad wings were in the late sunset.
This scene reminded me of how I am with some of my friends, so I loved this scene. However, I don't know the name of this fellow whom I'm really starting to like. You may have meant to do so, but it's really just distracting. I reread the whole thing to make sure I hadn't missed his name.

Faith was so dynamic,

except that hers are darker on top, brown-black.
Are should be were.

“Go find Xylon. I need a message sent….”
You never get back to that. What was the message?

pulled up to join us.
I know I read a few of these slip-ups but I seem to have missed them the second time round. Us needs to be them. You're changing POV's. Reread it, so you can find them.

“What the-“ One stammered before seeing the Grizzly bear. “…Oh snap.”
Oh, snap does not scream scientist to me, though I do love that saying and use it often.

As they ran out of sight she faltered in her flight, and Faith swooped down to catch her as Astrid demorphed, unconscious.
A bird caught a human? I'm not seeing that with any bird or any human.

The Kyle also had a dart in his shaggy shoulder
No the needed.

It must have wither been defective or his immune system was too strong for it.
I think you added wither, which doesn't make any sense in this sentence.

I would be terrible if one of us got caught.”
I needs to be it.

“Has anyone ever told you how dynamic you look in Falcon form?”

So those are the nitpicks I found.
My main problem is we don't really relate to the characters because everything moves so fast. I don't really care that Hope might be better than Silver because I'm not really sure what Silver does or how she got into her position or how good she is. Why not show us?
Merlin appeared out of no where. I'd like to see him introduced into the story before now. Maybe not talking to Hope but just in the group or acting as an instigator in an argument.
I think you need to explain the groups of experiments and how they're organized since I'm a bit confused. Are they all in one clump or are they in tribes of some kind? One of the most interesting aspects of creating a society is the politics sometimes.
I loved Merlin and the scenes in the treetops though. I seem to have developed a fondness for the jerks who like annoying people because they have room for lots of growth and surprises. I want more of the treetop scenes with those two. I think it's a great way to thicken your characters. Don't disappoint. You have really good characters that are each individual. Sometimes I have a problem with my characters seeming to have come out of mold.
I hope you continue because I'm waiting for the next addition.
Megsug

It's good but you need to work on you r grammar a little bit, in the first sentence it should be "...me and Faith shared." also "was,as always" please put a space. Also it should be level-headed something or other because it would make a lot more sense. I also think that instead of "Kyle (Kodiak bear) and Riley (Lion)" it would read better if it was "Kyle, a Kodiak bear hybrid, and Riley, a lion hybrid". That's all for now

As expected by you, it's very good! However, I found a few sentences were a bit awkwardly phrased at the beginning, but that could just be me. I don't believe I saw any spelling mistakes. I don't know, this is probably just my fault but is Rayne and Payne the same person? xD I know, I fail. But I can't help it because in stories such as this one, I find myself loosing track of who's who when there are a large handful of characters. Even so, it's great and I'm going to go read the others now!