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Don't Speak: Random Part



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Mon Dec 26, 2011 12:04 am
WelcomingException says...



Spoiler! :
I wanted people's opinion on this one scene I am writing, you would need to know the main idea of the story to get it, so I'll recape a bit.
Damien is in love with Beth (Main), bret is the best friend/side kick and Daniel is beths lover and Daniel loves her. Beth and Daniel ran away together Damien found them, beat Daniel up pretty bad and brought Beth to an old warehouse were they are hiding out with Bret. Damien found beths only picture of daniel and decided he needed to get rid of it. GO!


Bret stood there. His crazy blond hair flying everywhere in that old warehouse, my only picture of Daniel grasped in his hands, the one Lisa took at the B&B in the garden. Damien held me against him, his arms wrapped around me; I screamed and tried to get away. Damien squeezed me tighter as if telling me to shut up. I couldn’t, I couldn’t let go; not yet.

“Please Damien! Let me just have this! Please!” I cried, I felt like the tears were everlasting and if this happened I would never forgive Damien, as if I ever could anyway. I screamed, I kicked, a punched, I did whatever I could to get away from Damien. I pinched his arm but it did nothing to make him let go, then I remember the scare behind his ear Daniel gave him, I reached my arms up quickly grasping his ear, pulling on the earlobe and digging my nail into the crusted blood behind his ear.

He yelled pushing me to the ground and cradling his ear, I crawled over to Bret as quickly as possible to only have Damien pulling me back to the other side of the warehouse by my leg. I tried grabbing anything, anything I could throw at either of them. Damien picked me up pinning my hands behind my back and clutching my jaw to make my head turn towards Bret holding the picture.

“Say good bye to him Beth, he’s never coming back for you” Damien spat in my ear. I cried but I knew I couldn’t win, I starred at Bret and he took out his lighter. The bright red plastic gleamed in the sunlight and the rays falling from the roof seemed to quiver in the air in a peculiar why. I strange smell wafted passed my nose making me winkle it. Oh god! The wavy sun beams, the strange smell!

“Bret! Stop” I yelled, I knew the moment I said something Damien immediately knew it as well, he pulled us back behind a crate, as Bret pulled down on the spark wheel and pushed down on the fork. Bret busted into flames, along with the picture and everything on the one end of the warehouse. A bright flash and the sound of flames crackling away hit like a freak storm. Damien picked me up pulling me over his shoulder as he booked it out of there.

Bret screamed and his flesh tore from the heat of the flames. His body un-recognisable in seconds and only an ashed body stood there, fists clenched, shaking, screaming, and cursing. I fought against Damien, screaming as well. Not only was my only memory gone of Daniel, but Damien just left one of his best friends to burn alive! How could he do that?!

“Damien! We have to go back and help him!” I screamed, he pushed me into the back seat of his pickup truck, slamming the door and locking me in. All the little lock bolts fell under the car doors away from my reach locking me internally, it wasn’t like that before the school dance, Damien must have changed it when he came for us.
What a Welcoming Exception *
  








Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief