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The Joker - Chapter one/ Part one



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Sun Feb 28, 2010 7:32 am
Midnight_Rose says...



Hey so this is an idea I had about the Joker and where he came from and what happened. It could be good, it could be awful. I don't know, please read.
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I swallowed down my pills and drunk some water. There was a knock on the door. My heart soared. It was sunset, it was time. I ran to the door and threw it open, a big smile on my face.
“Jamie,” she said. That was the only greeting I needed.

“Ashley,” I said. As long as I have this, I thought, if I have this then I don’t need the pills or the doctors or the medication, just as long as I have my girl.
Unfortunately no one was willing to test this theory, least of all Ashley.

“But what if you get sick again?” she had asked.
“I won’t,” I said. “All I need is you, I love you,” I said.
“We’re still not trying it,” she said.


I grasped her hand and we started to walk.
“How was your day?” she asked. I thought about my day and nothing particularly awful stood out.

“I don’t know, it’s hard to think that anything could possibly be awful when you’re around,” I said. She gave me a look that told me I was being silly.

“Maybe I’ll go away then,” she said.

“Then everything would be awful!” I said. She laughed, and held onto my hand tighter.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said.

“Promise?”

“I promise, I’ll never leave you,” she said, and kissed my cheek. I smiled.

“I love you,” I said.

“I love you, too,” she said. We walked with a silence that was comfortable. We walked down the path to the river with the trees. It smelt like pine, it looked like oak. We sat under our tree. The cheesy heart with ‘J+A Forever’ that was carved into the tree made me smile. We sat with our ankles crossed over one another’s and holding hands, our fingers intertwined.

“How was your day then?” I asked. I knew she would have had a perfect day, she was a perfect girl.

“My day was … like every day,” she said, sounding bored. “It was boring, until about fifteen minutes ago,” she said, smiling at me. The orange sunset turned her hair fiery. I reached out and touched a piece.

“Fire,” I said. She laughed. I tucked the piece behind her ear.

“So what did you do today?”

“Got up, took pills, ate, internetted, ate, slept, got dressed, took pills, saw you,” I said. “You?”

“Got up, fed my dog, ate, studied, ate, watched TV, studied, saw you,” she said.

“This is my favourite time of day,” I said. I gestured to her and the sunset, people walking their dogs, pushing their kids in push chairs, other couples. Leaves drifted down into the river, the river made calming music, I closed my eyes lazily. “I don’t need those pills,” I said. Ashley looked at me testily.

“Yes you do,” she said.

“I’m so much better now,” I said. “You’re good for me, if I have you I don’t need them, you make me better,” I said. “I’m so sure of it,” I said.

“No, look, this is for your own good, just do what the doctor says, then you can come off them,” she said pleadingly. “We’re only doing this because we love you,” she said. The sun was setting quickly, it was clouding over. She looked at the sky. “Come on, let’s get you back,” she said. I pulled a face and she laughed. “Smile,” she said. I pulled a big grin, stretching my mouth out and showing my teeth. She laughed. I got up and put my arm around her waist. We walked back to my house silently. We were at my doorstep before I knew it. “Why so serious?” she asked. I looked at the ground and shuffled my feet.

“I don’t want you to go,” I said.

“You never do,” she said.

“Tonight’s different,” I said. “The sun isn’t supposed to set this early,” I said.

“It’s fine, just some bad weather,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said. She kissed me. We kissed every day, but it never failed to take my breath away. I kissed back fiercely. She pulled away.

“Stay, please, stay,” I begged. “Please, there’s – something’s not – Ashley, please, trust me,” I said. She opened my front door and pointed in.

“Go,” she said. She was backing down my steps; she kissed her hand and waved. “I love you, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.

“Ashley, I love you, too. I love you more than anything,” I said. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” I said. She smiled.

“And you think I feel any different?” she asked jokingly. “I love you, too. More than anything, and maybe we’ll talk to the doctor about trying to get you off those pills for a while,” she said. “Goodbye,” she said. “And smile.” I waved, she waved, and left. I didn’t quite feel like going inside, so I sat on my steps for a while.
"Not all those who wander are lost" - J.R.R Tolkien

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Sun Feb 28, 2010 4:59 pm
Quetseli says...



That was great! I loved how you used the "Why so serious" in there. That was clever. X3 The only thing I would say is to describe your characters and surroundings. What did the Ashley look like? What did the park looks like? Just the small stuff. :3 But real good, you should write some more!
And I vow oath to this creed and all who are within it, to protect and value them all.
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Sun Feb 28, 2010 6:00 pm
MiaParamore says...



If you ask whether you should coninue this or not then I will suggest you should for it created a suspense of why he takes pills and what's the strange thing he's feeling. GOOD GOING !!!!!!!
"Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror"

— Paramore




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Sat Mar 20, 2010 8:46 pm
Forestqueen808 says...



Two words. Keep writing!!! I totally love this, I am a big fan of the joker, he's the only reason I stayed awake in the Dark Knight! And thats why I don't like Batman Begins as much XD great job!
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you,
and hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole... as you flew right through me.


~Sorrow by Flyleaf




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Sat Nov 26, 2011 6:43 pm
Napier says...



This is awesome, but I feel it should have been longer- if there's a Chapter One, Part Two they should have really been combined to make it feel more satisfying.
But I loved all the little foreshadowing with "Why so serious" and how Ashley wants him to smile more; those were great touches, giving me goosebumps at the little nods to his character.
I think the pills should have been given a bit of an explanation, and in future chapters try to show his crazier side, if only subtly at first. The reader wants it clear that this is the Joker.
And description please! What's his house like? The park they go to? Your writing's good, no question, but even slipping in a couple of lines about his area of living, the trees and paths in the park or just the general area (I'm presuming Gotham City but I may be wrong. That should really be mentioned, as well) in which they live.
Overall, this was great and I really enjoyed reading it. Nice job!
“It is the tale, not he who tells it.”
― Stephen King

“If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”
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