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Shadowed Tracks Chapter 2 (Numb)



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Sat Nov 19, 2011 10:23 pm
DarknecrosisX says...



The plane hit the ground with a heavy thud. It made Gregory jump out of his deep sleep, and almost his skin. I gazed out of the window, the powder snow tickled the ground with a light dusting of white, a rather fitting scene for such a unfitting occasion. The bloody Bureau just couldn't leave me alone. I had been complaining for the last twelve hours but it was true, I could've actually settled down in New York seeming as I had pretty much shook that pesky Vallum Dolor. That detective had been after me for one-hundred and five years and although I never met him, I had heard much information about the fantastic man. Apparently he died seventeen years ago, and that was around the time I Iost the Bureau, obviously the newbie couldn't match up to his predecessor... luckily for me. Regardless, this was definately not my last stop, no doubt this new detective was right on my trail. I wasn't planning to stay long in Munich.

As soon as we left the airport I flagged down a taxi, and we went to a quiet little hotel on the outskirts of the city. I used my powers to possess the owner to let us stay for however long we wanted and give Gregory a free breakfast pass, that kept him happy.

As he slept that night, I recalled that night one-hundred and thirty years ago. It was a distant memory, but I still had grasp of it:


"Hahaha, you're a pathetic worm!" Maledictus taunted, as I wiped the blood from my mouth. "You think you can call me an oaf and get away with it?! Hahaha!" I stood up and squared up to him, his broad, tank-like body versus my weedy, narrow body. His ginger hair was long and he looked like a complete brute, well... he was a complete brute. I knew this man, his pride meant everything to him. And, although I knew I had no chance, I decided to antagonize him. He hurt my best friend, to the point he left the magic city of early twenties London. My only shoulder to cry on had left and now this bastard was going to pay, sooner or later, I would be stronger than him. He stared me down and I spat in his face. "You're going to wish you didn't do that, kid" he laughed, sadistically. He planted a fist into my gut launching me into the wall of the dark, dank square. The smell of pollution filled the air, and the taste of blood trickled into my mouth. My nose had started hemorhaging. That was the power of a Juggernaut, they are huge and practically indestructable to physical attacks. I wiped my nose and then stood up again. "You don't get it, do you maggot?"

"I'll make you pay, you bastard". At that moment I felt a huge amount of energy flow through me, so powerful! So unstoppable! I looked at Maledictus, and he all of a sudden had a scared look on his face.

"What the... hell! You can't be! Not you!"

I heard whispers from the crowd surrounding us. Something about a shadow incarnate? Then it clicked. I was the Shadow Incarnate of the millenium. I laughed violently at the Juggernaut, trying to intimidate him into attacking me. I wanted to see him versus the new me. "You think you have a chance against me now? You fat son of a whore?" In reply to this he yelled mentally, and then charged so I braced myself, ready to counter. I knew basic Necromancy, but now I felt like I knew it all, I was ready for anyone. I snapped my palm and a tendrill of black shot out which I wrapped around the brute's leg, yanking him off his feet. He was back up again after a violent thud, but this time he slowly walked over to me and then launched a punch targeted at my face. I created a wall of darkness, to my amazement, which sounded like it broke Maledictus' fist. He yelled in pain and I delivered a strike of my own to his gut, reinforced with the power of my inaminate ally of the shadows. He cursed this time, and fell to his knees. I stepped towards him, his kneeling figure still taller than me. I felt like I had the power over life and death. I struck him in the jaw, and he went down on his hands. I stood over him, gazing down at him with a maniacal stare, ready to make him pay for my humiliation. That was all that this was about, me, being humiliated. "Beg" I ordered. "Beg for your pathetic little life"

"Don't kill me. Please". He was crying.

"Not good enough". I felt something vicious take over me, which forced two shadow blades from my hands. I tried to fight it, but it was too strong. I placed the two swords in a scissor position on his shoulders, then pulled my arms away, removing the Warlocks head. People screamed and I laughed, bloodthirstily. One kill was not enough, I needed more. More blood, more suffering, more satisfaction.


That night I stole the lives of sixty-three Immortals, all to satisfy my sense of redemption. The screaming, the torture and the blood, it all felt so good. I was addicted but I later tamed my lust, although it does, even now, seep through occassionally. From then on I had been on the run from the Global Bureau Of Immortal Lawbringers, who have been fixed on having the bones of a Shadow Incarnate in a display. More importantly, my bones. I laughed, then stared at Gregory. His hay-blonde hair pressed against the pillow, and his blue eyes shut by the window to dreams. He had a few freckles, a lot like my old friend. I guessed that was what made me take him on board. No normal mortal could convince me to do so, so I guess he was lucky to be born that way. I gazed out of the window and saw the snow start to fall heavier. I started to sing one of my favourite songs. "I've become so numb, I can't feel you there. Become so tired, so much more aware. I'm becoming this, all I want to do: Is be more like me, and be less like you..."
Laments of passion
Obstructed by fear.
Under guises of jovial chatter;
Incredulous hopes
Steadily feasting away-
Eating away at my heart.
  





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Sat Nov 19, 2011 11:05 pm
Leahweird says...



Two things I spotted. "seeming" in the first paragraph should probably be "seeing". Also, It's not clear how he would have known that people are after him.

Otherwise I am really enjoying this. I love stories that play with the concept of "evil".
  





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Sun Nov 20, 2011 10:25 am
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DarknecrosisX says...



Leahweird, he is on the run because he murdered 63 people, that's not leagal, not in the Immortal world.
Laments of passion
Obstructed by fear.
Under guises of jovial chatter;
Incredulous hopes
Steadily feasting away-
Eating away at my heart.
  





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Gender: Female
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Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:57 pm
Leahweird says...



Yes, but he knows that they know specifically where he is. Since they haven't been so directly on his trail in a while, I was just wondering why he thought they would be now.
  





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Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:12 pm
DarknecrosisX says...



No, what he said was:

Regardless, this was definately not my last stop, no doubt this new detective was right on my trail. I wasn't planning to stay long in Munich.


He knows they're on his trail because Cereus Velox sent that letter to the Bureu, remember. Umbrim is very smart, which is how he played a first-class detective for 105 years, he considers most aspects and has an astonishingly good memory.
Laments of passion
Obstructed by fear.
Under guises of jovial chatter;
Incredulous hopes
Steadily feasting away-
Eating away at my heart.
  





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Gender: Female
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Sun Nov 20, 2011 7:19 pm
Leahweird says...



Oh! I get it now. Nevermind...
  





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Fri Dec 16, 2011 3:48 pm
Crow29 says...



Just to add to Leahweird's humiliation, there's nothing wrong with putting the word 'seeming' into that sentence.
However, you did refer to the shadows as 'Inaminate'. Inaminate is not a word. Inanimate is a word. Also, inanimate means not alive/not moving; I can understand how that would fit, but there are a lot of words which would be better to use and easier to spell.
Really good though, I like chapters which are based on memories, it's a good way to detail your characters' histories without disrupting the story, and is interesting to read.
Thanks,
Crow29
P.S: MORE GORE!
  





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Fri Dec 16, 2011 9:43 pm
DarknecrosisX says...



Thanks Sam! By the way, the fighting comes in at chapter 7. Gore in chapter 10.
Laments of passion
Obstructed by fear.
Under guises of jovial chatter;
Incredulous hopes
Steadily feasting away-
Eating away at my heart.
  








Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We're just used to being the cat.
— Henry Wu, "Jurassic World"