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I Survived a Roleplay Realm Game Show



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Fri Jul 23, 2021 11:00 pm
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veeren says...



"Awww, is that the story you tell yourself at night to not feel bad." Lordy feigned puppy eyes, "That's just precious. How long have you been practicing that speech? Seems like you've had a it ready for a while."

He sat back and looked Carter up and down with a smile.

"You're very quick to judge my alcoholism considering you were one of the first to stretch your hand for a wee sip, don't you think? Not that I'm judging you. Given the circumstances I'm more concerned about all of the people who would refuse one right now." Lordy turned his head back to the other contestants for a brief moment, before returning his gaze to Carter, "You're right about one thing though, I'd be a fantastic court jester- a clown even! I happen to think I'm extremely entertaining. You, on the other hand, have the personality of a brick wall, and maybe you'd be able to see that if your head wasn't so far up your own ass."

Lordy blinked, "... or like... if you grew a couple of inches."
"Love is the name for our pursuit of wholeness, for our desire to be complete."
-Plato's Symposium





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Sun Jul 25, 2021 7:45 am
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soundofmind says...



"At least I have an ass, unlike the bony pitiful extension of a leg you call a rear. And please," Carter scoffed.

"Entertaining? Sure. Maybe. If you're into watching grown-ass old men flail their limbs in every direction next to a teenaged girl who's repulsed by you, sure. If that's what you call quality entertainment, then I no longer have any questions about your sanity. It's fine if you decide to have no respect for yourself, but when you deliberately ignore the social cues others give you that you're making them uncomfortable that's nothing to be proud of. You can be funny without being crass, and it looks like you've yet to find the balance, nor do you care to. I guess that's the difference between a good court-jester and a bad one."
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.






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Tue Aug 17, 2021 12:07 am
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veeren says...



"Ha!" Lordy slapped his knee, "Oh I'm sure you know all about goooood court jesters. Did you make mommy and daddy find a new one for you every week because you have no sense of humor and nothing was ever funny to you?"

Lordy made a pouty face at Carter, "Aww, poor carty. How hard it must be knowing you'll never... reach my level of comedy."

Lordy snorted and giggled to himself, "Okay- okay I promise no more short jokes. You just make it so easy. I can't speak for my sanity but I can tell how high and mighty you must feel by pretending you know anything about sOcIaL cUeS. Let me tell you, whether people are laughing at me or laughing with me, I can at least assure myself that they're laughing. You on the other hand," Lordy eyed him up and down (which didn't take long), "Yeah- they're just laughing at you."

Lordy sighed, "But of course, I have nothing against you personally. As a matter of fact you remind me a lot of myself! No friends, lack of social skills, people prefer you dead- we're two peas in a pod. Maybe after all of this we'll have a nice laugh about everything."
"Love is the name for our pursuit of wholeness, for our desire to be complete."
-Plato's Symposium





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Thu Aug 19, 2021 1:35 am
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soundofmind says...



Carter stared at Lordy, unimpressed. He laughed through his nose with a smirk.

"Except I won't be laughing with you," Carter said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.






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Thu Aug 19, 2021 4:25 am
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Carina says...



Image


Fire engulfed Carter and Lordy, seemingly grilling them like sausages. It looked like a 5 Gum commercial, but really, the fire only tickled them. As quick as it went, the fire subsided back to the lower levels of the grill, leaving only comical and fake burn marks on the contestant.

Image


K.K. levitated over the grill again with a mic, lazily in a draw-me-like-one-of-your-French-girls position. He yawned, perhaps bored of the round, or bored of the show. It was hard to tell what was going through the mind of the cartoonish dog sometimes.

"Another savage roast round! Who will be the winner? YOU will decide!" K.K. said with a sly grin, staring right into the camera. "You reading this -- dial into the OOC channel and cast your votes right now!"
chaotic lazy
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Wed Sep 01, 2021 1:30 am
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soundofmind says...



"AND THE VOTES ARE IN!"

K.K. Slider's voice boomed over the mic, drowning out any chatter in the crowd or among the contestants. A loud drumroll started to play for only a good three seconds before it ended abruptly and a very bright spotlight flew all around the room until it landed on Lordy.

"CONGRATULATIONS LORDSHIRE, YOU HAVE FALLEN INTO THE CROWD'S FAVOR! YOU ARE THE WINNER!"

And at that moment, Carter was consumed in flames, disappearing from the stage.

"Wonderful. I think after that round we could all use an--"

Image


"Talk amongst yourselves, go to the bathroom, grab a snack -- just not all at the same time."

And with that, the lights were brought back up to normal, the giant grill disappeared, and all the contestants appeared back on the stage in their plush red seats behind the curtain as the crowd started to chatter.
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.






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Wed Sep 01, 2021 1:38 am
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Shady says...



Jerica didn’t enjoy being food. But there was a certain satisfaction to be had about defying the devil dog. And she felt like she and Mel had bonded over their mutual rebellion.

But, mostly, she felt like she needed a drink. She looked around and complained to no one in particular, “Are we ever gonna get that rum?”

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]





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Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:24 am
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veeren says...



"Rum?" Lordy's ears perked up at the word.

He instinctively checked his coat pocket for his flask, only to find that there was nothing there. Slumping back down in his chair, he looked around at everyone.

"Good round, Carty my boy," He peeked over at Carter, "Hope you didn't take anything personally. It's all part of the show biz, you know?"
"Love is the name for our pursuit of wholeness, for our desire to be complete."
-Plato's Symposium





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Tue Sep 14, 2021 3:10 am
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soundofmind says...



Carter needed just a moment to recuperate after being not-consumed by flames, but he quickly took in a breath and brushed it off, turning to Lordy with a carefree smile and shrug.

"Of course not," he said. "It was a good show. Congratulations on your victory."

He said it with the relaxed smile of someone who didn't care, but he wouldn't forget this moment. His pride had been bruised, but he refused to show it.
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.






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Wed Dec 01, 2021 8:07 am
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soundofmind says...



Neither the contestants nor the audience had much time for chatter in what ended up being a very short intermission. Suddenly an ungodly screech filled the room, echoing with feedback in the speakers. The sound naturally brought any ongoing conversations to a halt and all attention was brought to the source of the sound: KK Slider, descending from the ceiling on a giant moon-shaped prop dressed like an angel.

"Hello again, my lovely contestants and viewers. For those of you who are fans of our show, you already know what this means. We have no reached the final phase of the gameshow, meaning there's only fifteen minutes left. What could we possibly do in only fifteen minutes? Well, a lot can happen in fifteen minutes, let me tell you. For example, my second cousin visited me last summer and after five minutes of being in my house, he managed to set my kitchen on fire, let my pet pitbull out of the house, and send a glitter bomb to my mother. We haven't spoken in months, and my dear pitbull Tristen has never been found. If you see him, please call me. Photos will be put up on the screen now so you'll know what he looks like."

At that moment, a holographic image floated in front of him.

Image
"Now you know," KK Slider said with a clearing of his throat. "A lot can happen in fifteen minutes, and now we only have 12. So let's get to it."

FIND THE IMPOSTER


"Here's the rules. One of our contestants has been informed before the show began that this show would be occurring, while everyone else was blindsided. If our contestants can vet out who was in the know beforehand, the imposter will be kept prisoner here forever while the rest go free. If they fail to vet out the imposter, well, they don't want to find out, amiright?"

KK let out a deep, ugly laugh and the rest of the audience chimed in, almost knowingly, but it did sort of sound like a laugh track.

"Alright folks, you know what time it is. Who will-?"

"SURVIVE THE ROLEPLAY REALM GAMESHOW!"

"We're about to find out!" KK barked, and then the lights centered back onto the stage, where all of the contestants sat in their chairs in a circle, facing one another.

TEN MINUTES ON THE CLOCK! GO!

An imposter is AMONGUS!
Image
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.






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Wed Dec 08, 2021 4:10 am
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Carina says...



As soon as it was announced that "an impostor is among us" and a picture of blobby hazmat-looking people filled up the stage, Mel had flashbacks. It felt almost like deja vu. Like... she dressed as one of those people over a month ago for a costume contest. Ha ha crazy why would she think that anyways what a weird coincidence time to get back to the regular program here.

Wait... does that make her the impostor? Wait, wait, no. That makes no sense. She didn't know of this beforehand. Plus, it wasn't like anyone could read her mind. Like, imagine someone being able to read her thoughts right here... right now.

Spoiler! :
phpBB [media]


Time to act on instinct.

Mel turned and innocently pointed at Carter. "I dunno about you, but he's looking kind of sussy. Smells like it too. Anyone agree?"
chaotic lazy
—Omni

the queen of memes
—InuYosha

secret supreme overlord of yws
—Atticus

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5
—Anonymous Yelp Review





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Wed Dec 08, 2021 4:15 am
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soundofmind says...



"Seriously?" Carter said, censoring his thoughts to the reading viewers of the show. [REDACTED] "Lordshire looks more 'sussy' to me, and he for sure smells like it."
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.






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Wed Dec 08, 2021 4:17 am
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Carina says...



Mel scoffed. "Deflection. Why are you deflecting, Mister Sussypants? Also..." She turned back to face the audience like that unsettling 3D chad. "I can see you totally censoring your thoughts. Why's that? Huh? Huh? Huh????"
chaotic lazy
—Omni

the queen of memes
—InuYosha

secret supreme overlord of yws
—Atticus

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5
—Anonymous Yelp Review





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Wed Dec 08, 2021 4:18 am
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soundofmind says...



"How the *bleep* can you see my thoughts?" Carter retorted. "That in and of itself sounds suspect. What, are you a mind reader now too?"
Pants are an illusion. And so is death.






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Wed Dec 08, 2021 4:19 am
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Shady says...



Jerica was still kind of traumatized about having been food. So when the weird bald guy materialized, she couldn't be bothered to even be surprised. She was, however, interested in the deal of getting out of this hell.

But she was very confused by what was going on. It was like... she had a vague flashback to something called 'shitposting' but she wasn't quite sure what it meant. Was that what this was? "Is sussy bad?" she turned towards Mel and Carter, eager to be part of the fight.

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
[they/he]








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