Young Writers Society

Zipzap wasn't sure why he chose to live in Earth in the first place. He hated the way it smelled, how the days only lasted 24 hours, and how capitalism forced him to pay an extra measly dollar to keep his Netflix subscription. Curse those greedy bastards. Zipzap was already trapped in the middle of nowhere with his crazy brother. At least his animal cage had a nice TV in it. He would like nothing more than to smoke and watch his favorite jail movie-- The Bee Movie.

The Bee Movie gave him hope when he was in that miserable cage. Barry, a tiny insignificant bee who sued the human race for taking away what was rightfully his. It was a fucking genius idea. Zipzap wondered why he hadn't sued the dumb primates yet for taking away his flying saucer, the "Original Object That Wrecks". That was his ship. His baby. Nobody, not even his dumb brother Klubklot, would even dare tinkering with the OOTW.

Zipzap shifted uncomfortably on his chair as the camera zooms in slowly towards his favorite illuminati slippers and ancient alien pajamas.

"So... you're an alien?" the camera man asked.

Zipzap's glowing white eyes seethed through his gas mask.

"Do I look like some big-headed grey creature with bulging black eyes?"

Silence ensued the room. Zipzap kicked back his chair, crossing his arms.

"Of course I'm an alien, you idiot. I only take a form of a human because you'd shit your pants otherwise." Zipzap sighed, holding back a singular tear. "They always ask, 'what are you'? But never... 'how are you'?"

Klubklot wasn't much for talk. He prefers clubbing his enemies to death so he could suck their soul and feed it to the possessed demon that was -literally- inside of him. It took Zipzap a year to figure out that ice cream helped calm Klubklot down so he wouldn't turn into some serial killer demon. Ice cream doesn't help his stupidity, though. It was Klubklot's idea to go to Earth solely because he was craving a Mexican Fresca Strawberry bar. It was his idea to fly the OOTW one fateful morning while his brother was asleep, and getting caught by Area 51 guards because his dumbass forgot to set the ship in invisibility mode.

Since then, the two brothers have been stuck inside of a cage simply because Zipzap was too lazy to think of an escape plan. All of that changed when Klubklot watched a Youtube video with some little gremlin children chasing and tripping themselves over an ice cream truck. For whatever reason, an ice cream truck gave Klubklot enough inspiration to come up with a brilliant escape plan...

The camera zooms up to Klubklot's elephant gas mask as he nods approvingly.

"Y'know, I LOVE to KILL, and I consider MYSELF an ice cream CONNOISSEUR," he says as he sucks an ice cream bar up inside his oxygen tube. He twitched, making a pleasurable giggle as he eats the ice cream whole.

"That's why my PLAN was to TRICK the humans into THINKING we were ice cream VENDORS. That's how we ESCAPED."

"Oh wow. So did it work?" the camera man asked.

"Oh YEAH. We are SHAPESHIFTERS. It was EASY... the guards LOVED ice cream! So we SOLD some to them... then we STAB STAB STAB S̵̡̗̼̓͌͜Ţ̵̙͍̈́A̸̭͎̣͂̔͜͠B̷̗͒͐̚͝ S̷T̸A̵B̵!! And now we're WANTED for 100 MILLION dollars!"

Klubklot laughed, but then stopped after realizing what he had done.
"I FEEL... like this is a BAD thing..."

The camera moves to another room, this time facing a disapproving Zipzap.

"I just don't know what he was thinking," Zipzap said as he slouched on his chair.

"I mean... don't get me wrong, I love my brother to death, but ice cream vendors? Really? I gotta hand it to him. Son-of-a-bitch actually worked and we got my ship back so that's... well, shocking."

"So you have a 100 million bounty on your head..." the camera man said, "how do you feel about that?"

Zipzap chuckled, popping open a bottle of booze. "Yep. We're so fucked. And broke," he said as he guzzled down his drink. "But first they gotta catch us. I'm the goddamn captain of my ship so I won't back down without a fight. Hell, I bet you I can outrun them with a truck!"

Suddenly, he paused.

"Yeah... a truck... that's pretty good," Zipzap mumbled with a devilish grin, "I'd drive an ice cream truck just to spite those bastards,"

"So what's your plan now?" the camera man asked.

The camera zooms up to Zipzap, and he looked back at it with his arms crossed behind his head. "We're gonna sell ice cream. Lots of ice cream. Then we're gonna find someone rich and stupid."

Elias brought the microphone that was clipped to his shirt closer to his mouth to say to the microphone,

"Hello, is this thing on?"


The cameraman groaned, wincing and placing his hand between the earphones he was wearing as the question screamed in his ear. "Yes, and speak normally!" his voice said in the background.

Elias blinked, letting go of the mic. "Oh, my bad. Just making sure."

He turned his head once every second for a total of three times, and each time, the angle changed so he was looking right at the viewer.

"So, uh, which camera am I supposed to be looking at, again?" he asked.

"Please introduce yourself," the cameraman said again, sounding tired.

"Oh. I can do that, yeah," Elias said as he picked the middle camera and grinned. "Hello world! My name is Elias Bennett. I just graduated from High Point University with my Bachelor's in nursing. I'm supposed to start working at a children's hospital at the end of the summer, but that's a month from now... oh... so what am I doing now, you ask?"

He smiled crookedly again, dramatically turning to another camera and facing it head-on.

"Traveling cross-country is where it's at. First stop, Cali bae-beEeEee." He put his hands around his mouth for dramatic affect as he said the word 'baby' with a low voice. "Anyways, that's what this documentary thing is about, right? Something about interviewing travelers who are far from home? Or something? Heh, weird concept... Don't put that part in there."

Evening was falling, but Elias was still zooming down the highway in his car, head bopping to music as he stuck his hand out the window.





It was a fairly hot summer day, but he didn't have the AC on. One, because it was broken. And two, he was low on gas. Air condition used gas, right? That was how it worked?

Still, he didn't let it bother him as he continued to bop to the dope beats of Katy Perry. Such a good song for this road trip. He had just driven down from Northern California, and now he was approaching the valley where it was hot. He wanted to see that one park with the moving rocks. They couldn't really move. Rocks didn't have legs. He had to see for himself.

The sun was setting in the distance, and Elias had no idea where he was going to stop in this barren desert-like setting, but he decided to not overthink it. It was his vacation. He didn't need to turn on his brain right now.

So when he saw an ice cream truck in the distance blaring the (very unusual) ice cream truck song, he couldn't help but think: this was it. This was his stop.

"What were your first thoughts when you saw the truck?" the cameraman asked as the screen zoomed up to Elias's face.

"Nothing much, really," Elias said. "I just wanted some ice cream. But I guess it is kinda weird. Like, a truck in the middle of nowhere, and no other customers. Like, what the hell, right?" He shrugged then smiled. "Eh. It's not they bribed me to enter the truck with candy and then kidnapped me. I had to pay for it. So not sus at all." He scrunched his nose. "If anything, their ice cream prices seem like a total scam. Who the hell pays ten bucks for an ice cream cone?" He stuck out his tongue. "Made my tongue sparkly red, though. Worth it."

Elias finished parking his car and approached the ice cream truck, thinking nothing of it that there was absolutely no one else around in the barren dessert. The truck was still blaring music, but the window was closed. He knocked on the window with his knuckles, eyes darting around the truck for a menu, but not seeing one.

On the truck was a futuristic-looking logo that said "OUT OF THIS WORLD."

"Hellllooooooo?" he asked, knocking again.

"BROTHER... are you SURE you know how you make ICE CREAM?" Klubklot asked as he handed Zipzap a dead alien cockroach.
"Why, of course!" Zipzap said as he stabbed open the cockroach's heart, spilling its blood into a glowing red flask. His crystal meth laboratory was a mess from all of the failed ice cream experiments, so the roach will have to do. "Humans love all that artificial flavoring shit. A little bit of roach blood will help create that nice red sparkle effect. Just think: all those idiots will be lining up to have their tongues magically turn red!"

Klubklot clapped, laughing like a maniac. "Yes, YES! You are a GENIUS, brother! But where will we SELL these without getting CAUGHT...?"

Zipzap tapped his fingers, thinking. They were out in the middle of nowhere, for one thing, and not too far away from Area 51. He could fly to a popular city in a blink of an eye if he wanted to, and the flight would be so quick and effortless. Zipzap hated the city life, though. Especially New York City; the subways there always smelled like piss, rats, and hobos to him. Not to mention, he would also have to deal with a thousand rich bitch Karens who would most likely try to sue him even more for ruining her little gremlin's life with crack ice cream. It was totally not worth it.

"Hmm, well I'm sure there are plenty of humans in the desert, why not sell it here?" Zipzap said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The camera zooms up to Zipzap. He was wearing sunglasses over his gas mask. "To be fair, I needed a break. I only said that cause I wanted to nap that day," he said as he slumped over his chair. "Like... do you know how many failed attempts I went through just to make some damn frozen yogurt? I gave up an hour of my time just to come up with the perfect formula. Talk about outrageous."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`



Klubklot scratched his head, looking out into the distance. The desert was still very boring, desolate, and hot.



"So, BROTHER... When will the HUMANS come here? Shouldn't we be DRIVING the OOTW?" he asked, kicking some sand.

Zipzap sprawled his arms over his beach chair, lying face up with a pair of cat-eye Gucci sunglasses.
"Yeah, yeah," he said dismissively. "Ten more minutes. Trust me, it's all about patience."

"But I am SO BORED," Klubklot huffed, slowly morphing into a shadowy grotesque tentacle creature. "I really, really, REALLY WANT TO MURDER SOMEONE. I WANT TO C̷L̷U̴B̴ ̸S̵O̷M̴E̸O̵N̴E̷ ̶T̵O̸ ̶D̸E̵A̶T̵H̴ A̸̟͋̐Ǹ̷͇́D̵̺̿͑ͅ ̵̩̌̅R̶̩͉͛Ȉ̵͇P̴̯̺͆ ̸̮͂̌T̸͖͗H̸̗̃̍Ë̶̼̠́̊Ȋ̷͕̟͝Ṙ̷̺̲ ̴̣͒́H̷̨͚̀È̶̘̙̂A̵̫̤͝R̶̼̒T̴̘́ ̸̩̏̋O̶̩̒U̸̧̎Ṫ̷͕̕!!"

Zipzap rolled his eyes and made an irritable sigh when Klubklot loomed over him with a menacing snarl.
"Ugh!! Again with the saliva! How many times do I have to tell you to STOP drooling on my leather jacket?!" Zipzap shouted as he wrung out his sleeves, "if you really want to club something that bad, why don't you improvise a bit? Like... starting an ice cream club!"

Klubklot immediately reverted back to his human-like form. "An ICE CREAM club?" he repeated innocently.

Zipzap nodded. "Yes, an ice cream club! But with... but with culture! Oh, yes! That's what we're missing, Klubklot! All you gotta do is pick out a lovely song to blast and the humans will coming running with money."

Klubklot blinked. "Are you SURE?"

"Oh I'm sure. I just came up with the perfect song for it, too. OOTW!" Zipzap yelled as he clapped his hands to activate his ship, "turn on... the impossible remix."

"NOW PROCESSING... THE IMPOSSIBLE REMIX."

"OH... oh this is GLORIOUS!" Klubklot squealed gleefully, "this SOUND... this BEAT... it's OUT OF THIS WORLD!"

Klubklot bounced his head back and forth as soon as he heard the beat drop. At first, he tapped his foot to match the tempo of the song, but then he started to feel himself shuffle with the rhythm. His body swayed naturally with the beat, which somehow managed to impress Zipzap, but not for long. It took about a minute for him to sink back into his beach chair, and a minute more for him to realize there was a small object zooming towards them.

Wait. Is that... a car?

Zipzap squinted his eyes across the horizon. He was 100% certain that he was looking at a car...



...But he was too lazy to double-check.

Klubklot immediately stopped dancing as soon as he heard a door close.
"BROTHER! I think... There is a... HUMAN! HUMAN! HUMAN!" he said, panicking. He was excited -- almost too excited -- to see a new face approach the truck. He hid behind the truck, smiling. "What DO WE DO?"

"Shhh!! Quiet! Get it the truck!" Zipzap snapped as he jumped out of his chair. "Let me handle this, just act natural."

Zipzap jumped on top of the truck, posing flamboyantly.

"Welcome, human!" he said as he pointed at Elias, "Behold, and witness the world's greatest ice cream the Earth has ever known! Feast your eyes... on the menu!"

Godly music played as Klubklot emerges from the truck's window. Crickets chirped as they both realize they were looking at nothing.

"It appears we do NOT have a menu," Klubklot blurted out, causing Zipzap to facepalm himself.

"The Red-100, Klubklot..." Zipzap mumbled, "Take out the Red-100!"

Klubklot blinked. "Oh. OH!" he said, fumbling over the ice cream machine to scoop out a sparkling ball of red ice cream, "Yes, YES! The RED-100, very, VERY RED!"

Zipzap jumped down, taking away the ice cream cone. The godly music resumes.


"Behold! The Red-100!" he said as he approached Elias, "The one-and-only ice cream cone that is out of this world! This ice cream cone is so special, there are 100 ways to enjoy this delicious treat! For only a small amount of $10, you can have superpowers! Be invisible, have super strength, get red skin, you can have it all! Each treat has a different unique taste and temporary effects, the possibilities are endless!"

A nearby alien cockroach crawled nearby.

"Plus, there are 100 organic ingredients!" Zipzap exclaimed, kicking away the roach.

"Yes, 100 DELICIOUS and FRESH ingredients!" Klubklot piped in, "very FRESH, like sugar... strawberries... the BLOODY HEARTS OF YOUR ENEMIES--"

Zipzap threw the ice cream cone at his brother's mask. "See? 100 different ways. You can even throw the ice cream like a fun little snowball to your friends! Isn't that right, brother?"

Klubklot nodded as he eagerly devoured the ice cream from his head.

"So whaddya say, human? Would you like to try our glorious ice cream for the fair price of $10?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zipzap laughed hysterically as the camera zooms up on him. "I couldn't believe it. The son-of-a-bitch actually bought it," he said, slapping his knee. "The dumbass actually ate some roach blood thinking he's gonna get some superpowers. Call me sadistic, but I'm starting to enjoy capitalizing off of dumb people."

"Isn't that sort of... a scam?" the cameraman asked.

"Whaaaa? Nah. It's only a scam if I keep stealing his money," Zipzap paused midsentence, smiling. "...which is exactly what I will do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

"Yeah, it was sort of a scam, but honestly, I think I really am getting superpowers," Elias said as he smiled into the camera.

A long silence passed.

"Well?" the cameraman asked. "Did you?"

Elias shrugged. "I dunno. How do I test it?"

"What superpower were you hoping to get?"

Elias thought for a moment. "I want to be a healer, but I already know how to do that. I'm a nurse, after all. That's basically a superpower by itself, help heal other people and all. But you know what I can't do?" He smirked and looked right into the camera as it zoomed up to his face. "I can't heal myself. Wouldn't it be sick if I could do that?"

A different camera angle panned to him as he looked deep in thought.

"I wonder if there'd be any weird effects, though...?" he thought out loud.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So maybe the two ice cream people manning the truck were a little odd. They were wearing gas masks -- did they know that the 'rona was over already? -- and were... uh... quite eccentric. Yes, that was the word he'd use.

And boy. They talked a lot.

While the two brothers bickered, Elias slowly started to space out as he stared at them, their words going in one ear and out of the other as his mind began to wander.

Why are they wearing gas masks? Should I be wearing a gas mask, too? Is this pandemic related? Maybe they're not vaccinated yet? Or maybe this is a trend I don't know about? Oh god, is there, like, a chemical spill or something? In the desert? Wait, why are they selling ice cream in the desert? Oooh, ice cream, I need to look at the menu...

His eyes then drifted down at the menu called the Red-100. He blinked as he started to force himself to pay attention to the man's words again.

"So whaddya say, human? Would you like to try our glorious ice cream for the fair price of $10?" the salesman said.

Elias grinned and tossed the menu behind his shoulder dramatically. "Sure," he said. "It's organic, and I'm vegan. Your ice cream's vegan, right?"

He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and gave them a ten dollar bill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What?" Elias said as he squinted at the camera, leaning forward. "Ice cream's not vegan? ...Huh."

He leaned back on the chair, pursing his lips for a moment before shrugging.

"Eh. I'm not really vegan. I'm just tryna save the environment and all. Ya know, not eating beef. Having beef with beef. Heh."

He stuck out his tongue for the camera to see.

"They said it was vegan, though!" he said defensively. "The red is from strawberries. It's weird, though... It kind of tasted metallic."