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The Showing vs. Telling Game



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Tue Aug 11, 2009 4:28 pm
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Carlito says...



So we all know that telling is bad and showing is good, right? There have been like a thousand articles posted on this in the Writing Tips forum. But, reading about it and actually doing it are two different things. So let's practice! :D

Here's a really good article by CastlesInTheSky if you're still not sure how to show and not tell:
topic41911.html


This is how the game will work. The first person gives a sentence that is telling, the person under them takes that same sentence, and make it showing. It's okay if you're telling sentence turns into more than one showing sentence. Just try not to go too overboard. :)
Here's an example:

Person One: The dog clearly wanted to go outside.

Person Two: The young lab pawed at the door, whimpering softly. His owner took one look at him and sighed, going back to the comic in the newspaper. The lab began to paw and scratch harder, leaving marks on the door frame.

Easy enough?


Here's the first sentence:
"Lucille was extremely annoyed at her little sister."
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

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Tue Aug 11, 2009 5:31 pm
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octocoffee says...



Oh wow, I was just about to create this game yesterday, I swear! I ended up chickening out though xD I'm glad you did though...

As Lucille turned to face the door, she flung her sister's hands away and quickly smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress. "Now's not the time to act like a baby, Alice."

Next:
"John hated going to school."
...if you are going to step on a live mine, make it your own. Be blown up, as it were, by your own delights and despairs. ~ Ray Bradbury
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Mon Aug 24, 2009 3:35 am
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Carlito says...



Most kids hate going to school because it's boring and long. John wasn't like most kids, he hated going to school because of his teacher. Every day when he walked into his classroom his hands would immediately feel clammy and a cold sweat went down is back as his teacher looked at him with a creepy smile and hard, uncaring eyes.


"The day couldn't be worse."
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

Ask a Therapist!
I want to beta read your novel!


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Sun Sep 27, 2009 11:32 pm
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emmylou1995 says...



Reply:
I stood outside my mini red cooper staring into the window. I could see my shiny keychain and cell phone through the glass. I sighed. Then, above my head I heard the crack of thunder. The rain first came in small drops then, in the next minute, I was completly soaked. On top of all this i thought about my english essay that my little brother flushed down the toilet while playing army men: survive.

Next:
From the doorway the sun made me warm and happy.
When all you have is nothing, there is alot to go around.
  





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Sun Sep 27, 2009 11:49 pm
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Lorrilrakest. says...



Reply:
She opened the door and felt the hot rays of the sun on her skin. They caressed her as she was held still by the hypnotic beams. She smiled as she gazed over the lake, remembering the night before.

Next:
Darren longed for something to eat.
"Who needs God when you've got me?"
- Jessica Sanders

"Didn't I throw you out a window?"
- Jessica Sanders

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Sun Oct 11, 2009 9:06 am
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empressoftheuniverse says...



Darren gaped at the inside of his refrigerator. Milk. Water. Jam. Hot Sauce. His stomach roared and he clutched at the empty spaces where bread, meat, cheese, fruit and vegetables should have been. His mind swam with visions of dancing roast beef and a congo line of chicken wings.

Next:
Sally was sad about her dead dog.
Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart.
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Sun Nov 22, 2009 7:01 am
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hero says...



It was like a black hole had come into her very being, every since he had died. Don't think about him, think about something else, she told herself, but it was useless. Nothing could erase the sight of Pookie lying there, stiff and unmoving.
"Oh, Pookie," she sniffed, a tear going down her cheek.

Next:
Nobody ranted like Red.

((Sorry for posting on what appears to be a dead thread.))
This guy is so evil you could put him in between two slices of bread and call him an evil sandwich.

Coming at you like a jetpack Shakespeare.

Hero's Reviews
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic53905.html
  





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Wed Nov 25, 2009 7:08 pm
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Fruits_Basket99Tohru says...



Reply: "What the heck are you doing?!" Red shouted at her. "You have no common sense, you fool! Do you have any idea how much we've worried over you? How much your mother cried over you?! No! So don't give me any of this namby-pamby wishy-washy nonsense about you wanting us to forgive you! Now get out of my sight, you filthy blockhead!"

Next: Suzanne was bored.
"We're all born with selfish desires, so we can all relate to those feelings in others. But kindness is something made individually by each person...so it's easy to misunderstand when others are trying to be kind to you."
--Fruits Basket Book 1, page 134

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Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:47 pm
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Xirenia says...



Suzanne smiled half-heartedly at her date, Will, who would not stop staring. Pushing a napkin around her plate, glazen eyes wandering listlessly about the room, she tried to remember why the hell she'd agreed to this in the first place.

Next: Dan felt rage bubbling up inside him.
We're young, open flowers in the windy fields of this war-torn world - Mumford & Sons
  





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Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:31 am
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VivielTwixt says...



Dan stood frozen just staring at Alain. Inside hot blood rushed through his veins.
"Just,chill. It's okay," she said trying to place her hand on his shoulder.
He quickly stepped back. "Don't touch me!" He lashed out. He frantically ran his hand through his hair. "I hate you, okay? I hate you!"

Next: He felt alone in hte world.
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world, there's nothing to it
-Wonka
  





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Wed Dec 30, 2009 4:48 am
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Livia says...



He gazed at the children playing, the couples kissing, and the friends teasing. He realized he didn't have any of that. Slumped back on his bench with his eyes closed, he tried to swallow the swelling lump in his throat.

Ermm...
Sophie desperately wanted to reach that jar of cookies.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.
  





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Wed Dec 30, 2009 6:49 pm
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Vampiress says...



Sophie reached her hand up to the tall shelf, seeing the red cookie jar that she desperately wanted to reach, but her mother made sure she had no access to the jar.
Next-
Mackenzie looked at her writing notebook.
whether they start good or bad, Every good writer starts somewhere
  





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Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:23 am
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WrittenSoul says...



All she wanted to do was write. The crinkled pages with stains from some long-ago spilled coffee; the frantic black scribbles of many stories; and the red cover stenciled with wings. She stared wistfully at her notebook, longing to set pen to paper and write the idea that had been stalking her mind all day. But she knew that it was more than her life's worth to get caught not paying attention in Ms. Spencer's class.

Next: They kissed passionately.

(Sorry if I'm not doing this right! :))
"What you learn for yourself, you will know forever."
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Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:34 am
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Howler says...



Although Anna was reluctant, the moment that Dillan went in for a kiss, Anna changed her mind instantly. She somehow realized it was right to be with him, so she kissed back, and although she never beleived in love before, she knew that this was all it could be, so the passion flowed between them.

Woah, that's the most femenine paragraph I've ever written. Woah.

NEXT: Ed threw the baseball.
"I'm fearless in my heart
They will always see that in my eyes
I am the passion, I am the warfare
I will never stop
Always constant,
Accurate,
Intense"
"The Audience is Listening", by Steve Vai
  





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Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:14 am
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WrittenSoul says...



He gripped its hard, rough leather in his hand, running his fingers over the red threading. The wind ruffled his hair as he drew back his arm. His muscles stretched taut. He leaned back farther and farther until - suddenly - he whipped his arm forward! The baseball soared, whistling, through the air. The crowd watched it with bated breath, then erupted in cheers. The batter struck out - Ed had made the winning pitch of the game.

Next: She was exstatic she was going to get to see him again.
"What you learn for yourself, you will know forever."
- Eugenides, A Conspiracy of Kings
  








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