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Young Writers Society


A little improv...



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Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:15 am
smorgishborg says...



* moderators, if this is not in the right place, I apologize*

There's been a play lurking in the dark recesses of my mind for over two years. I've written it, and deleted it in disgust. The idea has been tweaked and twisted, tampered with, and rethought. About five pages are currently on paper, and I consider this my exhibition. I'm aiming for around fifteen. Also, what I have now is some of the worst dialogue I've ever written. But I don't have a choice. I have to put something to paper.

Now, I'm stuck. I've got all elements of my play, (I'm in love with the ending, and the allegory) but the nuts and bolts of the conflict. I'm at a loss how to represent with dialogue the complex argument I wish to write.


Here's the aim: You are to help me by participating in this thought experiment. I will give a critique and 100 points to each person who answers the following question:

You are one of the last people on earth. Humanity has been all but wiped out. It is YOUR TASK to create a new world order, a new structure for religion to govern the new world. An ideal system which will provide peace and prosperity to all on earth.
-Please use historical precedent to tell me why your system is the most ideal system.
- PLEASE argue. Please respond to anyone who disagrees with you. Please feel free to insult their ideas. Please provoke them. Please develop an intense dislike of them.

I'm not joking. The more you help, I'll throw in extra goodies.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost

It cost $7 million to build the Titanic, and $200 million to make a film about it.
The plastic ties on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
  





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Mon Jan 07, 2008 4:02 am
Kylan says...



(PS: Bear with me because I'm not quite sure what you're asking for ^_^).

Communism is a perfect form of govenment for a society or populace that feels that complete power given to a small ruling class and martial law is the only fix for a threatening problem or enemy. As shown in Orwell's 1984. In 1984 there had been very few technological advances for decades. This was a result of thought control and totalitarianism. A dictator can keep a country in a false state of constant war to produce feelings of loyalty and hate and anger in it's subjects (thought control). This both keeps communism alive – making the “handing-over” of all power to a small ruling class seem like the natural condition for survival in this perpetual war – and consumed all of the country's resources and technological interest.

Communism is only a quick fix though. As soon as an impending problem that only a unifed government can fix is no longer apparent, like war, totalariansim collapes. Take the USSR, for instance. It's only natural for people to thirst after freedom. If the only reason for communism is to serve the government, it will result in revolution.

In short, communism is only temporary, but can provide excellent protection and appeal to a group of people that feel threatened or insecure. After humanity has been wiped out, for instance.

(Is that what you wanted?)

-Kylan
"I am beginning to despair
and can see only two choices:
either go crazy or turn holy."

- Serenade, Adélia Prado
  





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Mon Jan 07, 2008 4:31 pm
smorgishborg says...



Interesting Kylan, any argument helps.

What I'd really like to hear is something enduring and idealist. My characters are trying to create a utopian society after a nuclear holocaust. The story mirrors the foundation stories of the world's major religions, particularly (I can't help it) Christianity. However, the characters are now trying to abolish religion.

They have different ideas about how to do this however, and thats where conflict starts. It leads to the downfall of the system. Becuase this task is a bit out of anyone's league, I'm feeling that my dialogue isn't up to par. So I'd really like to just hear ideas tossed back and forth.

With that in mind, I was dreaming of harnessing the globalizing power of technology to make world government as transparent as possible. If the internet were to be rebuilt, then governmental matters could be decided by online polls. There could be a revolving leadership, which would turn over every month. It would be consisted of a cabinet of people who themselves would be voted in and out.

So, can anyone point out flaws in my scheme?
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost

It cost $7 million to build the Titanic, and $200 million to make a film about it.
The plastic ties on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
  





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Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:12 pm
Leja says...



How would the "globalizing power of technology" be harnessed? That doesn't seem something that will happen overnight, and in the process of harnessing it, there will inevitably be a weakness during the transition.

And there would undoubtedly be someone who wants to go against the revolving leadership, overstaying their welcome.
  





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Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:07 pm
smorgishborg says...



Well, here's part of the basis for my premise.

If the human population has been wiped out, with only a small group still living, then there is no need for history if nobody wants it. What I mean is that, these unready people have the oppertunity to start human life over. They have the ability to erase thousands of years of human history is they so choose.

When the levels of radiation subside, they can:
1. Rebuild the world in a conventional government. A U.S. style, or Parlimentary style of democracy. On the flip side, perhaps a communist dictatorship. And, say they took the latter course, the generations that come after (I'm assuming sucessful procreation would be a must in such times) wouldn't have to know that people once enjoyed freedom of speech.

2. Or, mix and match. This is the course suggested (err... hypothisized) in my play. My characters aim to create the perfect government. The government will be able to maintain peace and harmony, helped by a lack of any precedent for human conflict. The backbone would be a new code of morality, which, in theory, nobody would think to break.

Now of course some characters disagree, and while I'm trying to give voice to those who agree, your input helps me marshal the arguments of the other side. Of course, my side wins, but I don't pretend their aren't flaws, there are huge flaws.

Again, thats where the conflict stems from. but my side needs to survive the first debate.

This is helping already! Thanks!
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost

It cost $7 million to build the Titanic, and $200 million to make a film about it.
The plastic ties on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
  





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Gender: None specified
Points: 8413
Reviews: 816
Tue Jan 08, 2008 9:14 pm
Leja says...



And, say they took the latter course, the generations that come after (I'm assuming sucessful procreation would be a must in such times) wouldn't have to know that people once enjoyed freedom of speech.


Have you ever read the "Uglies" series by Scot Westerfeld? Sounds like a similar premise. You might enjoy reading it.


How was this government chosen? Were the self-elected, or were they surviving elite, or did others say "hey, they're good leaders; I choose them!"?
  





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Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:39 pm
smorgishborg says...



The first government would be made up of the remaining people on earth. No doubt it's imperfect. These are people who would never normally be in politics. but eventually, they reallize that whether they like it or not, they do have a certain duty to humanity.

Again, the characters are attempting to do better then all other human governments. The overiding idea to mkae this possible is an unbreakable moral code. Unbreakable because nobody will think to break it. They won't know any better.

The second challenge is adapting a government for 7 people to a government for hundreds/thousands/millions and eventually billions. How do you do this? The idea behind their solution is to use the existing technological advances by mankind to streamline the process. Direct democracy shouldn't be hard when you've got YouTube.

By the way, please participate! There isn't a wrong answer, any argument is valid and can easily be debated by my characters. It really is helpful.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost

It cost $7 million to build the Titanic, and $200 million to make a film about it.
The plastic ties on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
  








sometimes i don't consider myself a poet but then i remember that i literally write poetry
— chikara