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Young Writers Society


Tanka Train



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Fri Dec 25, 2020 12:50 pm
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Liminality says...



Don't panic. I can explain. Waka or tanka -> 31-syllable poems, written in a continuous line, but later popularised as poems with line breaks in 5-7-5-7-7 pattern.

This thread is just like the haiku thread, except with tanka :D Please use the last line of the tanka before yours as the second line of your tanka. (Modifications made because of differences in syllable counts between haiku and tanka.)

Traditional tanka typically have the following features:
  • mix themes of nature with human feelings
  • have a 'turning point' or a twist in the second last line
  • little to no punctuation

BUT feel free to write non-traditional tanka here as well!

Here is a tanka to start, and I've underlined the line to use:

i read that tanka
were originally sung
in a river stream
which runs loudly gutter-borne
through the streets, the roads to home
she/her

.
Have you met my friend, The Story Review Template?
  





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Fri Dec 25, 2020 4:07 pm
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Hijinks says...



ooh this is so fun! great idea Liminality :)

i am tiptoeing
through the streets, the roads to home -
cracks in the asphalt
match the crinkles in my palm
whispering of the future
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





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Fri Dec 25, 2020 4:26 pm
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Valkyria says...



The loud stars are
whispering of the future-
I find that so odd;
they keep the earth up all night
dancing with the galaxy
There is always something left to love.
- One Hundred Years of Solitude
  





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Fri Dec 25, 2020 8:52 pm
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yosh says...



Nebulas spinning,
Dancing with the galaxy,
Stars shining brightly,
Yoshis eating egg pieces,
Gazing up, skyward, starstruck.

(Don't ask why I used Yoshis. Maybe I should have yoshis in my last line next time heheheheheheheheh)
they told me to never give up on my dreams.

so i took another nap
  





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Sat Dec 26, 2020 8:44 pm
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fatherfig says...



(oops that may be unintentionally hard to follow)

Here I am looking
Gazing up, skyward, starstruck
and all I see is
infinity falling down
it stains your faces not mine
"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig
  





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Sat Dec 26, 2020 9:42 pm
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Valkyria says...



My tears fall freely;
it stains your faces not mine
as puzzles connect
and you all stare at the ground;
mistakes crumble around us.
There is always something left to love.
- One Hundred Years of Solitude
  





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Sun Dec 27, 2020 3:07 am
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Liminality says...



i watch silent as
mistakes crumble around us,
piling up mountains
on which, the wise grey oaks stretch
stealthily ever upward
she/her

.
Have you met my friend, The Story Review Template?
  





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Reviews: 129
Wed Dec 30, 2020 5:05 pm
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yosh says...



Creaking, shattering
Stealthily ever upward,
Over the mountains,
Beneath the raging oceans,
The Sun's journey never ends
they told me to never give up on my dreams.

so i took another nap
  





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Sun Jan 03, 2021 5:56 pm
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Hijinks says...



trapped in the centre
the sun's journey never ends
always stuck spinning
in place — if it stops the world
will come crashing down
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





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129 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 421
Reviews: 129
Sun Jan 03, 2021 7:44 pm
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yosh says...



Spoiler! :
@whatchamacallit Your last line is five syllables, so I'll use your second-to-last line


We must keep all things
in place-- if it stops the world
from devouring
itself and the rest of us
without reluctant regret
they told me to never give up on my dreams.

so i took another nap
  





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455 Reviews



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Sun Jan 03, 2021 7:54 pm
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Hijinks says...



Spoiler! :
@Yoshikrab ah whoops! good catch - I must've miscounted :)
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





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Sun Jan 03, 2021 10:16 pm
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JoyDark says...



The moon guides the seas
Without reluctant regret
Towards itself, and
Water draws away from land,
Trying to reach a false star.
she/her

woah
i actually made a post
pretty radical if you ask me
  





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Mon Jan 04, 2021 10:43 am
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Liminality says...



Midnight -- I am out
trying to reach a false star,
hands in thick night air;
by my feet, mimosas bloom,
nearly white on shadowed soil.
she/her

.
Have you met my friend, The Story Review Template?
  





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Mon Jan 04, 2021 11:30 am
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Hkumar says...



your faded footprints
nearly white on shadowed soil,
left to guide the strayed
through this eternal darkness
into the lights of heaven.
I only put my signature on big cheques.
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 421
Reviews: 129
Mon Jan 04, 2021 3:45 pm
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yosh says...



I had gazed, amazed,
into the lights of heaven,
there were shining lights,
filled with eternal smiling,
and ghosts who crossed perfection.
they told me to never give up on my dreams.

so i took another nap
  








i got called an enigma once so now i purposefully act obtuse
— chikara