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Long Live the Living (Closed | Started)



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Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:11 am
megsug says...



Rea - Day Five

Spoiler! :
I stared out the window, each second a few feet farther than I had ever been from home. I smiled softly to myself, rocking with the carriage. Now I was 297 seconds farther than I had ever been. I glanced around the carriage, bored of counting. Marius was looking out the window too though surely not for the same reason, and Tim- I desperately hoped it was Tim- was... fidgeting and smiling to himself.

I refused to listen to the doubts whispering, telling me Tim would not act that way. His eyes met mine before I could return to gazing out the window and... I knew. I grimaced, unable to stop myself which was a strange sensation. I thought I had my facial features trained by now. The scum just smirked at me.

I jerked my head away, fisting and relaxing my hands in my lap, trying to enjoy the brand new scenery looking by...

Though it did look very similar to the the scenery some 300 seconds ago.

I glanced at Marius again, afraid that I was slipping into boredom. I cleared my throat as he noticed that I was looking at him. "Ah... How many times have you come this way, Lord Marius?"

He smiled, something much warmer than Zain's. "I've lost count, Princess, but this is only the tenth or so in a carriage with companions."

I leaned forward, interested. "You're often alone, then?" Solitude wasn't something often associated with a diplomat.

"It's simpler to travel alone. More dangerous, perhaps, but one man can hide and run more easily than a group.. besides, when I'm alone, I only have a very loose schedule to follow. I can allow myself to leave the road and explore some interesting place, and then skip lunch the next day to get to my destination in time. When you have company, you can't be that selfish."

That sounded fantastic. In fact, even more marvelous than just leaving the kingdom. "What kind of interesting places?"

He smiled slightly. "All kinds, really... there are a lot more little villages along the roads than you're probably aware of. Some parts of this country - and it's much alike with all the countries - almost resemble little kingdoms. They follow the laws, of course, and serve the Queen, but function as closed little communities, with legends and customs completely different from what you're used to."

I grinned. Just another reason to be a diplomat. "That sounds wonderful," I breathed, forgetting myself for a moment. I shook myself, blushing at his soft chuckle. "Can't hide it, I guess."

I frowned at T- Zain when he muttered a word that wasn't supposed to be said in the presense of a lady even if that lady protested that she didn't care on a fairly frequent basis. He rubbed his head and looked so much like Tim might that I almost reached out and touched him then he looked up.

It was Tim.

My lips parted in shock.

"Rea." His tone was not that of yesterday morning. It was soft and frightened. I did pat his arm reassuringly then. "Where are we?" He glanced at Marius who was studying him closely.

I watched as he cowered back and withheld a sigh. It did little to get impatient with poor Tim, and Marius had done anything for me to get defensive over, so I cooed in the gentlest voice I could, "On our way to Merillial, Tim. For the wedding?" Or had Zain been in control the whole time? Did Tim even know he'd been invited?

"Wh-wh-what?" His coloring did not look very reassuring, and he pressed himself against the door, glancing at the window as if he'd rather been outside.

"You know the Princess of Barqarnon and the Prince of Merillial are getting married? Everyone's been talking about it? Marius invited you the other day?" The blank look on his face worried me.

"Don't worry." His voice was just a murmur, and he was watching Tim like he would someone armed. I was just glad he was talking. "Princess Lierre is my niece, and your mother agreed it would be nice if you two came along to Merillial with me. We should get there by the evening, and stay for a few days...Think of it as vacation."

"It's exciting," I said cheerfully, trying to draw out something of a smile or even just a moment where he was relaxed. "Potentially adventure material."

My words seemed to have the opposite effect. His eyes got a little wider, his face a little paler if that was possible.

...Perhaps adventure had been the wrong word. Tim wasn't that adventerous...

"Er..." I wondered where he went when Zain was around. It must be hard to share a brain. A head's not big enough for two. "It'll be okay, Tim. You'll see. I'll watch out for you, and..." I glanced at Marius. "We all know that if you really need it some... help will come." I wrinkled my nose, hating myself for even thinking that pest could be of help.

Marius sighed silently. "Your sister is right, my Prince. You don't have to worry about anything - whatever happens, if anything happens at all, I'll be there to make sure no one noticed." He smiled a bit. "And I'm fairly good in making sure no one notices things which I'd rather to go unnoticed." He glanced at both of us, before leaning back and closing his eyes. "Besides, I talked to the other prince, and I dare to say you have nothing to stress over."

I felt my lips tighten into a disapproving frown and was glad Marius' eyes were closed. I would have said something if I didn't respect Marius' opinion so much. I did humph a bit to make it obvious I had heard the title and wasn't pleased.

Tim looked surprised. Over whether Marius knew or whether there had been a conversation or that Zain had been cooperative in the least, I couldn't guess. He still looked scared to death, so I squeezed his arm.

"Marius has your back. He'll watch you closer than I do." I laughed partially because it was true and partially because I didn't like how pale he was. I was rather worried he would throw up on my shoes if he didn't throw himself out of the carriage.

He didn't say or do anything for several minutes which felt like hours. He just got stiffer and stiffer until finally he nodded, his shoulders falling. He looked rather glum, but I'd learned that anything was better than panic, so I patted his arm once more and turned away.

"I can tell them to stop the carriage if you wish. I was planning to stop in a few hours, to eat, but we can spare some time. I only said we're coming tonight, I didn't quite specify the time." He smiled a bit again, to himself. "Though I'm sure Brek will ask me what kept us for so long even if we get there a minute after the time he thinks it should take us."

I frowned. "Should I recognize that name?"

He nodded slowly. "I believe you know of him as lord Elgan, the War Chief of Merillial.. I know he's been to Eajra, but I'm not sure if you ever met."

I nodded, relieved that I did know who he was talking about. "Oh yes. I only spoke to him when we were introduced, but I know of him."

"Mm.. I'm fairly sure you'll get to talk these days.. I told him a bit about you, and he's looking forward to it."

I blushed, hoping it was mostly good things being said. "I'll be looking forward to it then. He's... similar to you, yes? Very good at what he does."

Marius laughed, but turned serious a moment later. "Oh, he's quite good, yes. The kind of person you want to tell things after a few seconds, so make sure not to forget your own talents while observing his." He chuckled. "I suppose we are similar in a way.. though, if I hadn't met him I don't know if I'd be where I am today."

I nodded, digesting his advice and hoping I would be able to use it when I was in the situation. "...What did he do?"

"He visited Barqarnon." He frowned slightly. "Almost thirty years ago, for the first time. He was much, much easier to read back then, but I was much younger and not really able to make use of that fact.. and I was a prince, terribly bored of the expectations people around me had. Meeting a person like him made me decide I wanted to become the same - and eventually better, though that competitive spirit only lasted in the field of swordsmanship."

"So... He was kind of your teacher?" The idea fascinated me.

"In a way.." A smile still played on his lips. "He was never quite aware of it though, as a child I was too proud to ask about how to do things, I'd much rather arrange the situation so they must do something, and then observe how they did it.. it was so with every diplomatic figure which visited Barqarnon, before and after Brek did." His voice trailed off for a moment. "Not all of them do I call my friends today, though."

I was very curious now to actually talk to this Lord Elgan. "Isn't it a bit risky to call him your friend?" I asked softly, wondering what kind of relationship would make him say something so obvious.

He smiled and looked back out the window. "We've still got a long way to go, and we'll busy as soon as we get to castle. You'll want the sleep more than stories when we get there."

I took the hint with a resigned nod but couldn't help a sigh. "Good idea," I murmured and tucked my legs under myself, resting me head on the window. I closed my eyes and fell asleep to the rocking of the carriage.
.~.~.~.~.
I woke with a start as the carriage jolted to a stop. Peering around blearily, I squinted at Marius who was handing Tim a sword and grabbing another for himself from what seemed to be a hollowed compartment in the seats. "What's going on?" I asked, my voice sharpened by alarm as I heard voices outside. "Why have we stopped?"

Tim just looked terrified, but that wasn't much of a hint, really.

I frowned at Marius who was looking out the window. "What's going on?" I asked again.

He put a finger to his lips and left the carriage. I would have huffed at the insult if Tim hadn't slid across the seat, his face set, his movements stiff. He slipped out of the carriage as well, leaving me with the choice to stay or to go. I poked my head out and gasped at the sight of seven rather dirty men on horses surrounding the carriages and promptly shut the door. I would be taking no part of this. I did stay by the window though to make sure I missed nothing too exciting.

Three of the riders approached Marius and Tim. They were talking. It was rather astounding how sound proof this carriage was. Next time I had to talk to someone in private... Marius must've said something they didn't like or maybe they just got bored, but the leader lunged at him with a rusty sword. I put a hand over my mouth to muffle a cry as a thin line of crimson bloomed over the arm of his shirt.

The bandits seemed to multiply then, all converging on the fight. Tim struggled to fight, barely defending himself in time, much less actually wounding any of his opponents. Marius was trying to move towards him, but other bandits blocked his way to Tim. I clenched my teeth and squeezed the fabric of my skirt as he stumbled back and covered my eyes when one of the bandits swung his sword over his head...

I peeked over my hand, praying for the impossible, and watched him- Tim that is, Tim- finish cleaving the man in half. I watched in as much horror as the bandits as Tim- or maybe someone else- grinned and started on the next. Soon, they were fleeing.

Marius stood with two bandits on the ground before him, putting a hand on Tim's shoulder though Tim looked like he was ready to chase after the terrified men.

I leaned against the seat, feeling slightly nauseous. I closed my eyes and heard them enter the carriage again. I tried to compose a bright smile, but I knew it was lacking. "You two must be my heroes now, I suppose," I murmured and studied Tim's face which seemed foreign to me with a fearsome grin on his face. My eyes seemed to get stuck on several blood splatters on his cheek and forehead. I inched away in revulsion and tried to turn to Marius. He looked more uncollected than I had ever seen him though you could tell he was almost calm. "Is your arm alright? I thought I saw one of them draw blood."

He calmed his breathing as he turned to me, nodding and smiling somewhat reassuringly. "Don't worry, Princess. It's just a scratch, I've lived through worse.. are you alright?"

I waved my hand airily, trying to come off as poised but probably failing. "Now that you two are back in here practically unharmed, I'm fine." I looked up at Tim- though I wasn't quite sure why I was still lying to myself- and forced a smile, handing him my handkerchief. "You have some... um..." I waved at my own face in an attempt to to communicate. "On your face."

Zain giggled- which had my eyebrows rising- and dabbed at his face. He stared at the smear of blood now on my handkerchief and smiled.

Marius turned to him as well, his eyes narrowing. "Nice to see you again.. now what made you think doing that was a good idea?"

"I only intended to pary..." He began in quite a serious tone, but couldn't even finish his sentence before he grinned like a wolf again. "Guess I'm a bit stronger than I though."

I was feeling sick again. How could he grin like that when he had just killed someone? He'd saved Tim... Not for affection, I was sure, but probably for something like common interest. He couldn't have the body he lived in losing it's head, I guess.

"And we're certainly glad for that surprise," I murmured without really meaning to say anything.

Marius' eyes glanced in my direction, before locking on Zain's again. "Whatever kind of magic it was, I believe you're smart enough not to use it as we reach Merillial."

I blinked and then realization dawned. How stupid I had been to think mere stength could split a man in half... It must have something to do with the kapa.

He frowned, glaring at Marius with an almost warning expression. "I'm not an idiot. I won't use it when someone's around.. Unless I'm about to get killed, like I was now." He leaned forward a bit towards Marius. "I mean really, giving Tim a sword and letting him fight against bandits?" There was something strangely protective in his expression. "He hasn't used a sword in years."

I watched Zain closely, trying to see if I could peel back a layer, understand him a bit. I gave up with a huff, refocusing on Marius. I probably didn't want to know anyways.

"Then when he decided to leave the carriage and you took over, you could've just used the sword, relaying on your skills with it." he sighed. "Having magic and using magic are different things, and if you get used to using it when you don't need it, it won't end well." Marius' voice was calm, but more authoritative and less friendly than the way he talked before.

I shuddered. We were trusting a psycopath?

Marius was still talking, "How did you get those powers?"

"I told you already, I didn't intend to use it," he growled. "I saw something sharp coming towards me so I reacted." He lowered his voice to a mutter, seeming to calm down. "I didn't know I'd cut right through him." He glanced at me for a moment, seeming to think for a moment before looking back at Marius. "I found a power source," he said with a slight smile.

I glared at him, telling myself if I knew this is what he would get, I wouldn't have gone with him, no matter the threat. I scooted farther away from him.

With another short look in my direction, Marius slowly nodded. "Alright. Keep it a secret if you wish..but listen to me." He lowered his voice. "Uncontrolled magic is dangerous for its owner, more than controlled one for the others. Make sure you know what you're doing before doing anything."

"Yes," he drawled, rolling his eyes. "I can think for myself. I'll learn how to control it soon enough."

"Yes?" Marius raised an eyebrow. "How soon is soon enough? And what will happen if Tim found out?" He shook his head. "I'm not worried about you having magic, I'm used to people having magic around me. I'm worried because you like it too much."

"Tim won't find out. He's too meek to ever try using his full strength.." His eyes narrowed. "And what's wrong with liking power? It worked out pretty well for your brother."

I winced, watching Marius for a reaction.

He stayed calm, watching Zain in silence for a few moments, before smiling a bit. "I like to believe there are some differences between you and my brother. And I assure you, liking power too much can never really work out well."

"We'll just have to see about that, won't we?" he muttered, looking out through the window with eyes that were glowing with something I couldn't quite place.

Silence quickly fell over the carriage as we all looked out at the greenery passing by now that the carriage was moving again.

I sighed, wanting to leave this stuffy little carriage soon. It was too tense now, and I swore I could smell the metallic hint of blood which made my hands itch just to think about. Yes, I wanted to get out, and perhaps run into my mother's arms if we weren't miles apart now.

I shook that thought away. I was not going to be the princess who ran off because I got a little scared. I straightened my shoulders and thought of the future.
.~.~.~.~.~.
The tension of a few hours ago was lost on me. It might have still existed, but I had willed myself not to notice, burying myself in daydreams instead. Excitement coiled within me as I craned my neck for a better view. Ahead of us, gray and rather despressingly similar to Eajra's, was Merillal's castle. We rolled through the gates, and I couldn't quite keep a little titter of happiness to myself.

When the carriage rolled to a stop, I was practically bouncing with excitement. Perhaps Marius thought I was silly. Zain was surely thinking something deragatory if he wasn't fantasizing about drops of blood again. I didn't care. This was a new place with semi-new people though I certainly knew of them and had been introduced to the majority. I hadn't spent days under the same roof- aleit a very large roof- with most of them.

When I stepped down, looking up into the face of the group waiting to welcome us, I couldn't help but think this was the start of some marvelous adventure.
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Fri Nov 15, 2013 6:29 pm
Auxiira says...



Ludiv -Bodyguard of Prince Thranack
Merillial - Day Three


Spoiler! :
Why was he doing this to me? First this morning, which had been a repeat of the night before, and now this! Going into town without a proper guard and with the Princess was folly. But then he went into town without his proper guard often...and got into fights. It was enough to drive me crazy. I didn't even want to think of what Sir Brekyr was going to say when he found out.

As I glared at the street, watching closely, I noticed four bar rats sulking around, glaring at us. I saw that Thranack had noticed them too and frowned at his back. Acquaintances of yours? I watched at he drew Princess Lierre closer and looked away, trailing the four men out of the corner of my eye. Stop thinking of it, Hawkins. It'll go away that way. 'It' was that unwelcome pang in my heart that made me annoyed every time I felt it.
We turned a corner an entered a small shop filled with colourful birds that I had admired when I was little - before Father died, then I didn't care for them.
I watched as he stepped to one side to let the Princess through, then stiffen slightly. I peered over his shoulder slightly and saw the person I took to be the shopkeeper.

“Prince Thranack, what a.. Pleasure.” I bristled at his tone. “My lady.” He seemed perfectly polite to the Princess. I eyed him again. What don't you like about Thranack? "Do take a look around, and feel free to ask about anything." The Princess nodded and trailed over to the birds, allowing me to listen to what the shopkeeper and Thranack were saying. I still kept an eye on her though. One of your guard should be watching her, not me. I directed at the Prince. It was setting me on edge not having enough backup.

"-you don't touch anything."

"Fine by me." He marched over to the counter and I followed him, watching the shopkeeper closer then the Princess. It wasn't that hard to keep tabs on everyone in the room when there were three of them, one inoffensive but needing protecting, and the other two in front of me, talking.

"Is it?" He was doubting Thranack. Everyone seems to be doing that today.

"I was a kid. Not even half the age I am now." His voice was low. What did you do?

"You sure caused enough chaos." The shopkeeper retorted, leaving me to wonder what Thranack had done to annoy this man so much.

"Which I helped clean up." His fists clenched. That sounds like a Brekyr remedy. "While you bullied me the entire time."

"Payback." I didn't like this man. That made quite a few new people that I didn't like, and all because they were beyond rude to Thranack. This is almost an obsession... a work based obsession. At least that was what I told myself.

"You paid me back, with interest. You can drop it."

"Make me." I'll make you in a minute.

“Excuse me?” the Princess's quiet voice chirped. I had seen her approach, she had never left my sight, I had just been following the conversation between Thranack and the shopkeeper too closely to pay much attention to her.

"Yes, my lady?” A thin smile was plastered onto the man's face.

“What kind of bird is this?” She showed a small grey bird.

“Oh, never mind that one. I was told its melody is supposed to be exquisite, but as you can hear, it doesn’t sing. I’ve been keeping it around, hoping that it would, but it seems I got tricked.” He came out from behind the counter and showed a cage full of garish pink tweeters. "I think these would suit my lady much better. They’re almost as beautiful as you are.” He winked and the Princess took a half-step back. Creep. I found that the grey one suited her better, discreet and meek, with potential. But then I wasn't there to give my opinion. Thranack took a step closer to the Princess as he cleared his throat.

“What will happen to it if it doesn’t start singing?” Oh how sweet and naive. It'll be put under the knife and thrown to the city cats most probably. That was why happened to them when I was a child, anyway.

"Oh, I’ll just release it.” The Princess narrowed her eyes at the vendor and I almost sighed. She wasn't an idiot then.

“So, what is it?” The Prince cut, steering the subject away from the cliff it was at.

“It’s an ‘Evening Singer’, or at least, that’s what I was told. It’s probably just some normal forest bird, though.” It's an Evening Singer. Somehow I knew that for sure. I wouldn't know what told me, just an inkling at the back of my mind that I was inclined to believe.
The Princess gazed at the bird for a few minutes before Thranack cut the silence.

“Lierre? I’ll buy it for you, if you want it.”
She seemed startled. “Oh, I couldn’t ask you for something like that.”
A grin split his face before he replied.

“I want to buy you a gift." I ground my teeth slightly at the flash of jealousy that appeared. "If you’d rather want one of the pink ones..”

“No!” Her gaze flicked down to her hands before she continued. “No, I want this one.”

“Then I’ll get you that one.”


I loitered as he paid for it, then went and opened the door, checking for anyone. There were the thugs from earlier, not even trying to hide themselves. They didn't look happy. This is going to end up as a fight.

They followed us as we passed through the town, until we were on the outskirts of town. I slid my sword out of its hilt a little. For all Brekyr tried to promote hand-to-hand, I had always been a sword girl. It stopped me from getting mixed up in Thranack's beatings.
The Princess seemed scared as they came sidling up to us and I frowned. It would be a lot easier if we didn't have to protect you. She was just going to be a hinderance.

“You’ve sure got a lot of guts, coming ‘round here again.” They talked with the heavy lilt of the not-quite-sober who hung around the shadier parts of town.

“I don’t remember anything particularly scary about it.” Great, yes, just antagonise them. Go ahead, make it worse.

“Oh, do you need to be reminded?” One of them pulled Thranack away from our small group, making him stumble. My sword was out of its scabbard in a flash, as one of them decided to take me on. It was strange, seeing as he only had a dagger, but then most people that Thranack fought with didn't take me seriously.
He was better than I thought, nowhere near as good as Daerys or Thranack, but still good enough to hold his own. I wasn't using the edge of my sword, only the flat, leaving stinging welts. I saw the Princess being dragged away and swore under my breath. Not good. A few seconds later, Thranack groaned behind me, making me falter a second as I threw a glance over my shoulder to check on him. The thug I was fighting took that chance and brought the hilt of his dagger down on my sword hand, hard. Pain lanced through it, making me gasp, almost dropping my sword - my father's sword - but I didn't dare let go. Bastard. I thought sourly. I saw Thranack turn to me after disposing of both of his thugs.
[find what she said]

He ran after the Princess, and the thug that I was fighting decided that that seemed a good direction to go in as well. I ran after him, past Thranack and his fight and into the warren of streets that was just past the main street, sheathing my sword as I went. If you think you can loose me in here, then you have another thing coming. Orphans have nothing better to do than learn the streets. Even though it had been over six years, I could still remember my way around easily. I checked the way he was going, then vaulted over a wall and back over the other side of the garden. He ran straight into me.

"F*ck." Indeed. I took advantage of his surprise and caught him under the chin with my elbow, then, as he stumbled backwards, brought my knee up to his groin. Who says Royal Guards can't fight dirty? As he doubled over, I caught him on the back of the neck with my elbow, sending him sprawling. He didn't move. Once I made sure that he really was out and not just faking it, I hurried back to the main road.

Thranack sat on the ground next to the Princess. I could tell that something was wrong in the way he held his arm as soon as I got there. His tunic was dark and stained with blood. I salvaged a scrap of cloth from a nearby store, figuring they wouldn't mind if it was helping their Prince, and bandaged his arm tightly, ignoring his protests. You are not fine. Once I was done bandaging him, I checked him over for other injuries, but only found a few bruises and scratches - that I could see. I wasn't going to ask him to take his tunic off in the middle of the street; for one it wasn't proper, and second, I probably wouldn't be able to tell his recent beating apart from this fight. Sir Brekyr tended to leave bruises. It would be my fault that he was hurt though, for me at least. I was meant to be protecting him, not running off to fight other thugs. That one would've gone after Thranack if you hadn't gone after him, I told myself as we walked back to the castle.

“Thran?” I heard the Princess talk, and dropped back a few steps so I didn't hear them. I didn't want to, and it wasn't polite. I watched around us for anyone else who might want to start a fight. How many people can want to hurt Thranack, realistically? I preferred not to answer that question.

"What?" The Princess's voice was slightly sharp and I took a step forwards to hear. You're not meant to be upsetting her.

“Don’t tell anyone what happened. Brek... Wouldn’t be happy with me if he knew we left without the full guard.” I had been so preoccupied with the fact that we had gotten into a fight that I had forgotten about the fact that we had left without a guard. He won't be happy, no. And not just with you.

“Won’t he find out anyway?” He will, of course he will. He always does. But how long it takes for him to find out depends on us... me, sort of.

Thranack chuckled and I could hear the apprehension behind it. You're going to get beaten again. “Well, if we don’t tell him right away...” He looked over at me with wide eyes, the ones he used when he was asking for a favour. I twitched as my heart jumped a little and frowned. I could tell what he was asking for. Fine, I won't tell. "He might not find out... For a few more hours.”

The Princess laughed, seemingly unaware of the silent exchange that had gone on over her head. She was a child still after all. “Okay, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thanks.” No one else said anything until we got to the palace gates.

"Would you like to see the gardens again?" I'd prefer it if we went and got your arm checked out.

"Sure."


We walked through the gardens. Thranack stopped a second, and I saw Sir Brekyr with Daerys and Jonquille. I can see what you wouldn't like about them talking together. One likes teaching you lessons, whilst the other likes teasing you and has the last to back him up.

"Lord Elgan!" Thranack called, holding his arm slightly put of sight. "Dae, Quill." I hung back a little. My place wasn't next to them.

"Thranie." Daerys replied coldly, using Brek's pet name for Thranack.
"Don't call me that." I could almost see his hackles rise.

"Then don't call Quill Quill."

"Princess." Sir Brekyr cut them before the fight could start, bowing to the Princess, kissing her hand. "It's a pleasure to see you again."

"..Again, lord Elgan?"

"Last time I saw you, you were a very little girl, my lady." Sir Brekyr smiled his business
smile as he watched her.

"I hope you had a good time in town, Lie." Dae stepped forwards and hugged her, whispering something in her ear. I frowned as her back stiffened. What was that? Is she afraid of everyone, even her own brother?

"It was wonderful ," she said, looking over at Thranack as she came back over. "Merillial is beautiful." Her smile was as fake as the Duke's had been the other day. True smiles are so hard to get out of people when you're around royalty.

"Now more than ever." I had developed a habit of ignoring whatever Daerys said. It made for a good practice when he was antagonising Thranack.

"Could.. Could I be excused now?" The Princess asked hesitantly. "I wanted to get ready for lunch."

"Of course.. Captain Hawkins, would you mind escorting the princess to her rooms?" I looked back to Thranack at the mention of my rank and nodded. It was for the Princess, I knew. Brek called me Ludi, and Daerys and Jonquille were used to me being called Ludiv in front of them.
I guided the Princess back to the castle without saying a word. It wasn't my place to talk.

"How long have you guarded Thran?" she asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
"Three years, Princess," I replied. It's not very long really, if you think about it. Father guarded the Queen for much longer than that.

"And what do you think about him?"

"...He's a good man.” I could say that much a out him, but that was what I was meant to say, and I could tell that she wanted more than that. “He just.. Get's himself into difficult situations." That should be okay, right? I wasn't sure what I should say.
"They way he acts with me.. Is that how he usually is?" How am I meant to know?
"He's normally around soldiers or Lords. He hasn't really courted a lady before, Princess.” And thank the Gods for that, or Brekyr and I would have a whole different set of problems on our hands.

"Oh.. I see." We turned and started up a set of stairs. She's curious when she's alone with someone. "And how does he act around those soldiers and Lords? ..Sorry, I don't mean to question you. I just want to know what he's like." And rightly so. I didn't want to dislike the Princess, but my heart was being a stubborn mule again.

"With the soldiers, like another one of my broth-" I checked myself, realising she probably wouldn't understand what I was talking about. "-another one of them, really. With the Lords... How lord Elgan expects him to, mostly."

"Mostly?" She sounded slightly worried and I remembered that for someone who didn't know Thranack, what I had said wasn't necessarily the best thing to say. I glanced around. It wasn't well known that Thranack messed up relations with the Lords, and I doubted that Sir Brekyr would appreciate everyone learning.

"As I said, he gets himself into difficult situations. Which are normally fixed by more eloquent people, who don't tend to insult important people." It was a roundabout way of saying it, but I hoped it got the message across.

"So, he has a temper?"

"Only around people he doesn't like.” She suddenly looked scared and i smiled at her. ”Don't look so worried! He likes you." My heart pranged angrily at that and I almost sighed. When would I be able to get my emotions under control?

“He does?” I stopped in front of her door, cutting our conversation short. "Thank you, captain Hawkins,” she said with a small smile, a real one this time, then closed her door behind her. A few seconds later, I heard the snick of the key in the lock. What is she so afraid of?


I sighed and rubbed my forehead. Another conversation to add to the ones circling my head at the moment. I started towards Thranack's room. It wasn't far, and I wondered if it had been done on purpose. I wouldn't have been surprised.

As I walked, I thought back to the conversation with Itaph the night before. Talking to him hadn't gone at all well, and it was giving me a headache just thinking about it. "Just give me a chance," he had said. And he had been upset when I had told him that I only thought of him as a brother, I could tell. I hoped that it hadn't ruined our friendship.

I sighed and leant next to Thranack's door, along with his attendants - though I didn't see James, which was unusual. I stiffened a few seconds later when I heard Thranack grunting under his breath. What's going on? Are you okay? I almost pushed into the room, but stopped. It's his problem to work with, and if he doesn't want your help, then he won't be happy. I told myself, but it didn't stop me from worrying. A few minutes later, Thranack called for James. That's not going to happen.

"James!" One of the other attendants hurried in, a small girl who had probably just started at the castle. A few seconds later she came back out.

"He asked for you." She told me in a quiet voice. I stood up straight and went into his room, shutting the door behind me. I looked at him, unsure of how he would actually be. A towel covered his arm, but he had changed his tunic to another dark one. A few bloodied bandages littered the table next to him.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." More lies Can't you ever tell me the full truth?

"I heard you grunting, My Prince." He flushed slightly. I think I'm the only one who heard, though.

"Well...just give me a hand with this." He showed his arm, taking off the towel. I frowned, stepping forwards and taking his arm to look at the cut closer. It was still bleeding and a bruise rimmed it.

"It's deeper than I thought."

"It's not as bad as it looks." It is, I thought, frowning at his offhand tone. "Just bandage it up, please." I'm not an expert.

"You should go to the physicians." I knew that he wouldn't go, but it was worth trying.

"I'm not going. Are you going to help me, or not?" Always. I wasn't happy with his refusal to go to the physicians, my lips tightening together to match my frown, but I had bandaged up enough cuts during training to know how to do that at least.

I bandaged it again, using enough pressure to stop it from bleeding whilst making sure that I didn't bang my bruised fingers against his arm. They already hurt enough without any knocks. I glanced over at Thranack every so often to check that I wasn't hurting him too much. I could tell that he was doing his best not to make a sound.

"Right..you'd better wrap and extra bandage around it, just to make sure it doesn't leak," he said once I had bandaged it once. I did so in silence, still not happy that he wasn't going to the physicians. They could give you something for the pain and make it heal faster, instantly if there's a healer there.

He nodded when I was done, murmuring his thanks, then wiped his brow and headed for the door. He started towards the dining hall, his breaths uneven, then changed course and went to the Princess's room.


He knocked on the door an I took a few steps back. After a few moments without an answer, he knocked again. "Lierre?" No answer. He waited again, then knocked on the door. Why isn't she replying? "Lierre? Are you alright?"
The door finally swung inwards, revealing not the Princess, but Lord Daerys.
"Lierre! I thought you-- you." I could almost see Thranack glaring as he realised who was in the doorway. "What are you doing here?"

"Talking to my sister." Daerys' pokerface rivalled Brek's. He tried to shut the door, but Thranack wedged his foot between the door and the frame. Ouch.

"Wait. Is she alright?"

Daerys raised an eyebrow in response. "Why wouldn't she be?" A short silence sat between them. To answer that question would mean telling Daerys what had happened in town, and giving him something to blackmail Thranack with. There was always so much animosity between them.

I could tell that Thranack was still glaring."Try not being late this time."

"Coming from you, the expert in the field, that advice better be taken." That's true.
Daerys tried to shut the door and Thranack stopped him. Again. If you two are just going to bicker, then I'm not listening, I thought sourly, looking up and down the corridor. All they ever did was bicker - Thranack rising to whatever bait Daerys set - and it was enough to wear someone's patience thin.

"I'm alright, thank you." The Princess' voice brought me back to the conversation. She finally deigns to make an appearance. Her brother dropped his arm over her shoulders.

"Now you know that, can you please leave us to talk?" The door shut, but Thranack didn't move, just staring at the door.Get over it.

"My Prince." He shook his head and turned to me.

"Yeah?"

"Perhaps we should go?" Or we'll be late. Again.

"Yeah. Let's go." He started reluctantly down the hall, me trailing after him.


As we neared the Dining Hall, I saw Sir Brekyr out of the corner of my eye and decided right then that there was no chance of me even putting a word in edgeways... For the moment.

"You f*cking bastard." He grabbed Thranack by his tunic and whammed him against the wall as I took a step away.

"What the hell, Brek?"

"Good question. What. The. Hell?" He suddenly turned to be and nodded, making me jump slightly. "Hello Ludi, sweetheart."

"Hello, sir." He didn't seem too angry at me for now.

Brek turned back to Thranack. "What the f*ck were you thinking? I'll tell you what. You weren't thinking!" He knew. That was clear, just how he knew wasn't.

"What are you even talking about?" Thranack raised his voice slightly, but not to a shout. In the castle, there were ears, and they weren't just Sir Brekyr's. The War Lord pulled out a dagger and slammed it onto the wall next to Thranack's head. I edged a little closer. Normally, he wouldn't cause any lasting damage to the Prince. Right now I wasn't sure. I knew that I wasn't able to beat Brekyr, but if I could just get the dagger out of reach.

"F*ck."

"Oh, you recognize it, do you?" He went into town... And met the thugs... Brilliant.

"A bit."

"A bit... You little prick. What happened?"

"I..." He seemed to be trying to work out how much Brek knew. I was too.

"What. Happened?"

"I took Lierre to the bird shop...and...some idiots jumped us on our way back to the palace." And that, surprisingly, was the truth.

"And you took care of it?" Ah. This is about the guard. Or rather, the lack of it.

"As a matter of fact--"

"Why not your guards?" I saw Thranack's face drop again. "Hm? Why not, Thranack? Why didn't your guards take care of it?" I can help him with this... Thranack frowned at Sir Brekyr's question.

"Because you didn't have them, did you?"

"I..." He hesitated.

"Did you?" It was like Brekyr was talking to a child, the way he spoke.

"No!"

"So can you tell me what it is that could've possibly made you think, even for a second, that it would be okay to Barqarnon's princess into the city, without a f*cking guard?" She's an important guest. I should've insisted that we take a guard...

"Someone's going to hear you." Thranack hissed at Sir Brekyr, who looked over his shoulder at the few passing servants. None of them seemed to be paying attention, but I knew that some of them would have something to talk about when they got to wherever they were going, the kitchens or the laundry-rooms mainly.

"If you weren't the prince..." Sir Brekyr stabbed his finger in front of Thranack's face. "I would give you the beating of your life, right here and now." He meant it. And I was decidedly against this lesson. There wasn't going to be anything left of Thranack to marry to the Princess if this kept on.

"If I weren't the prince, I wouldn't have such an important fiancee to worry about."

"This isn't finished, My Prince. Not by a long shot. You enjoy your meal-- I want to talk to you later." He let go of Thranack and nodded at me again. "Ludiv." Not Ludi, like he had always called me, or Hawkins, which was what I had been throughout training. Ludiv. Thranack definitely wasn't the only one in for a scorching.

I watched him leave towards the barracks, more nervous than I had been in a long time, then flicked my gaze back to the Prince as he tugged his tunic back down and swallowed.

"My Prince, you--"

"Are dead f*cking meat." -aren't the only one who's not looking forwards to this.
He strode into the dining hall at the same time as the King. I bowed slightly, then hurried to my corner. Thranack didn't bother to even nod. Manners. Don't get into more trouble. He stopped sitting down as the Princess came into the room along with her brother and held her chair out for her. I could tell that he was glaring at Daerys as he sat back down, then his head dropped and he went back to his preferred target - the plate. I saw the Princess looking between the two Princes, but just frowned. The two of them don't get on. Get over it. You're going to be Thranack's wife. No other women can say that.

"Well, at least we're not arguing any more." King Creyo said uncomfortably. He wasn't raised to be a King, and you could tell, when he was in private, more or less."That's something, right?" As he talked, I brought my hands to the front and inspected the fingers that had been hit by the man's dagger-hilt. A mottled bruise covered my swollen middle and ring finger knuckles, and I could barely move them without wincing. I stroked then with my thumb, pushing down a little to try and see if they were broken and let out a low hiss as a wave of pain washed through my hand. They may not be broken, but they're definitely badly bruised. I couldn't find the will to listen in on the conversation at the table, just watching everyone. Daerys left, and Thran leant over to talk to the Princess. All of it spun into a blur, and I was in a haze until the end of the day.
You read faster than Usaine Bolt sprints xD - Deanie 2014

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Alvarin says...



Saevrie - Prisoner in Barqarnon | The Crag, Dungeon - Day Four
Spoiler! :
I had never felt pain like that before, not physically and not mentally. I screamed until my throat was raw and I couldn’t scream anymore, as they tortured me in that room. The whole time I was aware of the princess’ presence, aware of what a horror it must be to be forced to watch. Yes, the pain from the torture was indescribable, but it was nothing against the ache in my chest, the feeling of weakness and sickness festering in my body like a disease. It knew it wasn’t supposed to be alive, not on its own. A rider without his snowtiger disturbed nature, just like a snowtiger without a rider. From birth we were always two, united by faith and bounded by spells, sharing a bond that was never supposed to break. My soul and body knew its existence was supposed to have ceased when Bååvteres’ did, because nature told it so told it that it was an abomination,, and even without the torture I would’ve felt it crumble. The only relief I had was the knowledge that the pain kept the emotional pain away, a pain even worse. Right after I had seen his head hit the ground I had felt that as well, making my legs fold underneath me and taking my breath away with a tideway of grief, loss, sorrow and guilt.

I wasn’t conscious when the guards tossed me back into my cell, but it was where I found myself when the soft, warm darkness finally pushed me away, forced me back into the body that ached and the soul that was broken. At first I just lay there, taking shallow breaths as to avoid the pain from the lashes and the burns to become too great, but eventually the cutting, piercing feeling in my chest grew to much for me. I thought I had run out of tear already, but they poured down my cheeks as the convulsing sobs tore through my injured body. Every time I as much as tensed a muscle in my arm it made me scream - or would have if I’d had my voice left. As I lay there I realized I was waiting, and then realization hit me far worse than any human ever had. I was waiting for that wet nose to nudge my head, lick my wounds and lay down beside me to keep me warm and protect me. I was waiting for him to suddenly get up and help me, but I knew he never would. I’d never see him look at me with those friendly eyes, or lick me in the face playfully, or growl when he thought there was danger. He was gone, and I was alone, for the rest of my life. I don’t want to live.

I forced my eyes open, immediately spotting the bright white fur against the dark blood that was drying under it. I refused to look at his head, or the place where it was supposed to be, and instead focused on the soft fur of his belly, and slowly dragged myself towards him using my good arm and my legs. Once again I screamed without any sound, and several times the world turned into the peaceful darkness before I was crudely pushed away from it again. When I had finally curled up against his fur, still warm, still with his familiar scent, I closed my eyes and pretended that I could feel him breathe, hear his heartbeats. The darkness took me again.

Saevrie - Prisoner in Barqarnon | The Crag, Dungeon - Day Five
My consciousness returned to me slowly this time, as the force that had pushed me back into my body before had weakened. I had weakened as well. The nausea was the only thing that had grown stronger. I was cold and numb, so numb that I for a moment thought that it wasn’t there anymore, but as soon as I moved the slightest, or took a too deep breath I’d feel my wounds opening up again. Therefore, I did not move. I was waiting again, but this time it was for death. Eternal darkness to take me from this body, to take away the pain and the weakness and the memories. Death would be a blessing. I wanted it. Needed it. I wasn’t supposed to exist. Not now, not like this.

"Sae, are you awake?"

For a moment I thought I had imagined the princess’ soft voice, but then I felt her presence there beside me, in the cell next to mine. I can’t die. I promised to save her, to take her away from here. I wanted to keep my promise, but it meant little now. I didn’t want to live as an oktegh, defying nature and breaking the balance.

My voice was barely audible, but slightly better than it was when I had screamed earlier. "Princess?" I didn’t turn towards her, since I knew I might scream, and I didn’t want her to have to see me like that again. "Are you alright?” I asked carefully, barely knowing how to act. I didn’t want to have to leave her, but the darkness was so appealing, so much easier. “Did he hurt you?"

"No. I'm fine" She didn’t sound like she meant that. She sounded unhappy, afraid and worried, nothing even close to fine. "How are you? I know it's a stupid question.." I wanted to die, I wanted to be put out of my misery, but at the same time I didn’t want to leave her behind, not in a place like this.

I needed to see her face, make her smile - if I could. Maybe seeing her would ease that feeling of sickness, of loneliness.. And pain. I had to clench my teeth not to whimper as I turned my head to look at her. She seemed blurry at first, but as I kept my eyes on her she became clearer. “Please, princess.” I tried to keep the pain out of my voice. I didn’t want to worry her more than I already had. She didn’t deserve any of this.. I didn’t either, but if I could take both of our burdens I would, just so that she could be free. I’m already dead, it doesn’t matter what happens to me. “You don’t have to lie to me.” I felt my heart grow cold as I noticed the red, burnt skin on her neck and face. “What did he do to you?”

She put her hand over the burn and turned that side of her face away from me, like she was ashamed. No, I don’t want that. I didn’t care what she looked like, or what he had done to her, didn’t she know? I just wanted her to be safe. “It wasn’t him.. It was just the fire. I was too close.” She turned to me again, her hand still over her burn, and I was about to tell her that she didn’t need to hide it, but she cut me off with her worried eyes, bordering on afraid. “Don’t move if it hurts.”

Everything hurt even if I didn’t move, so it didn’t matter. I longed for the numbness of the darkness, to let it wrap itself around me and make my thoughts and memories go away. I want to die. “What..” A bolt of pain shot through my mangled hand and my arm when I tried to move my arm without thinking. I didn’t dare to look at it. It was useless now. I doubted my grandfather could ever fix it even with his knowledge, and he was far away from here. It’s as useless as the rest of me now. “What fire?”

“The queen’s fire.” The queen had hurt her too? I didn’t understand.. I didn’t even want to understand anymore. I just wanted to get away. Take the princess with me and flee, and then when I knew she was safe I could die like I was supposed to. “I was just staying out of the way.” You shouldn’t have to. At least it didn’t seem like the evil king had burned her like he had with me, but I doubted he had just left her alone.

The knowledge that she was now at least somewhat safe, if only for the moment, seemed to break the walls I had put up to keep myself awake, to keep the wonderful darkness away, but as the walls broke the tiredness washed over me. I wanted to fall asleep.. But at the same time, I needed to talk to her. Even if my whole body was still telling me to die, her company distracted me, made the edge of the pain seem slightly duller. “Are you sure you’ll be alright?” I asked silently, struggling to keep my eyes open.

“I’m sure.” She still didn’t sound very convincing, not at all. And it’s my fault. Bååvteres, you.. Both my fault. “I’m more worried about you. I don’t want to leave you here.” I could feel her gaze on me when I let my eyelids fall for a moment, the darkness so alluringly close, but the image of her kept me awake. The expression of pain, the pain I had caused her was just as visible as those wonderful green eyes or her golden hair.. I’d be gone soon. When I knew she was safe I’d be gone, and she wouldn’t have to worry anymore. The pain would go away for both of us.

“Soon I’ll be alright, and that man will not hurt you because of me again.” He won’t hurt you again, ever. I’d save her. It’d be the very last thing I did before giving in to the eternal darkness. Save a life in return for Bååvteres’.. Then nature would be in balance again.

“Please, let’s not talk about that. You will get better, and then we will see.” I will never recover from this. She didn’t understand, couldn’t possibly, and I was glad she didn’t. I she had understood what it meant to be an oktegh she wouldn’t want to talk to me. She’d avoid me just like the people in my tribe would, if I ever meet them again. “I will go home for my brother’s marriage, and then I will come back to you.” No, please. “I won’t leave you.” No”

“How touching.” The cold, emotionless voice made me afraid, as much as I wanted to deny it. If it hadn’t been for the anger I felt growing inside me as I thought of what he had done, I would’ve probably trembled, but the anger quickly pulled the fear into it, turning it into a roaring fire in my chest. He’d pay. Somehow I’d make him pay.

I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to look at his face, but even so I could still feel the princess tense not too far from me. “Your Majesty.”

“No, forget about me. Don’t come back here,” I whispered silently so that the evil king wouldn’t hear me, hoping that she could hear me anyway. Before looking at him I took a deeper breath, winding slightly as it stretched the skin on my back and chest, making the cuts open again.

He made a gesture to the guards, who entered the princess’ cell and dragged her out. I wished that I could’ve done something for her, anything, but I was useless, no better than the moss growing in the corners of my cell. I struggled to remain still as he approached me. “I’m surprised to see you alive.” He could kill me now. If he killed me now I could finally be free, be rid of the pain and the grief and the worry.. But the princess. I wanted to die. How could I possibly hope to save the princess, as weak as I was? If I died, she’d have no reason to return to this land.

“Kill me,” I said, not sure if my voice was taunting or pleading, “if you have any decency in your body.” I tied the hand I had buried in Bååvteres’ fur around the long white hair, hoping that wherever I went after I died, he’d be there waiting.

The evil king smiled, but it only served to make him look even more like a bloodthirsty wolf. “See, I planned to kill you when I walked in here, but you don’t insult the king and expect any kind of mercy after that.”

No, no, you need to kill me. The princess wouldn’t return here if I did, and she would be happy in her home, with her family.. Not ever having to face that man again. “Is that mercy, or do you simply not have the courage to look me in the eye as you kill me?”

He crouched down beside me, and once again I had to resist the urge to try to get away. I wasn’t going to show him that I was afraid of him. I’d let the rage and the pain fuel me, hide the fear. “Is that stupidity, or do you simply want to die so much that you think making me mad would do the trick?” I almost screamed as he poked Bååvteres’ leg with a lazy finger, menace playing in his eyes. “This will make a lovely carpet. Too bad you won’t be around to see it.”

“Don’t touch him!” I didn’t think, I just acted as I felt myself being scorched from the inside by my hate. I tried throwing myself against him, to bite him, hit him, anything, but when that pain shot through every fiber of my body I could do nothing but fall back on the stone floor, still sticky with Bååvteres’ half dried blood. I tried to bite back the scream, but I couldn’t. It was too much. The pain, the blood, his body. Kill me.

For a moment I thought the darkness was going to take me again, as it muffled their sounds of their voices and numbed my pain, but then I was forced back into my body, back to the ache. I saw a glimpse of my cell again, before it disappeared. “Such shame the last time he sees you is before I get you pretty again.” My eyes. I couldn’t see.. He had done this to me, a false darkness that gave no comfort. Now I couldn’t even see the princess’ face.

The hate grew together with my fear, seeming to boil the very blood in my veins. “Cowards, all of you. All the men in this country. Hide behind your magic and your soldiers, you will still only be a pitiful man, like the rest of them.” I tried to look towards the place I had last heard the princess’ voice, not sure she was even still there. “She's different. She doesn't need to hide behind something like a scared child. She's brave and kind, something you will never be.”

“Brave and kind?” I could almost feel the malevolent smile on his lips, going perfectly together with a tone that managed to be amused and filled with malice at the same time. “Come on then, dearie. Let's go and see that bravery of yours.” I made it worse again.. It’s my fault she got in trouble. Everything is my- I screamed in pain when I suddenly felt something dig its way into my leg, for that was what that feeling had to be. Somehow the sharp pain managed to make everything dull, even itself. Struggling to keep awake, struggling to hear if the princess was still there I fell into darkness once more, leaving my body and forgetting my troubles.
“Are you looking for sympathy? You'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis”
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Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:08 pm
crossroads says...



Spoiler! :
Daerys
Prince of Barqarnon | Castle of Merillial
Day Four

*

The tea tasted funny. It was something I'd never tried before, and though I could tell of some herbs being used in it, I couldn't even nearly think of the others.
“It’s good for you,” Quill said, reading my expression. Over the years, I started changing my face almost automatically. “And no, I suppose you don’t, since I usually have no reason to object.”
I followed his gaze, taking a bun in my hand. I couldn't bring myself to eat anything - I wasn't feeling sick, not really, but I couldn't say I felt healthy either. I thought of what he'd said, about not doing everything I requested. I could recall a few things he forbid me from doing when I was little, and they mostly proved to be dangerous for me, more so than I'd realized at the time. Still, over the years, I got more than able to choose how much I want to risk it on my own, and I got used to him following my every order.
"Here," I said, "see? Even when you think there's a reason to object, you still do as I say."
"I can’t quite agree," he replied. "I don’t do everything that you say, and you don’t know about everything that I do.”
Really now? You might wish to tell me about those secret deeds of yours in the future.
I smirked, noticing the strange expression in his eyes. "So ominous..are you mad at me now?"
“Have I ever been mad at you?” He sighed a bit. I don't know, have you?
I shrugged. "It wouldn't really matter, now, would it?"
“No, I suppose it wouldn’t, since you wouldn’t care either way.." There was something in his voice which I hadn't heard before. "Speaking of you not caring, I killed James yesterday.”
Oh. So, does killing people change a person? It took me a second to remember the details of that man's face.
"That was somewhat stupid, Thran might find out," I said then. "And Brek might figure it out." I squeezed the bun. Quill is right, you should eat it. "Why did you do it?"
"I wouldn’t have done it if I couldn’t cover it up,” Quill muttered. Was he angry? Hurt, for some reason? I couldn't tell - I could hear the strange note in his voice, and I was curious, but he was controlling it too well for me to figure it out. “And I killed him because he was stupid enough to threaten you, and me while he was at it.”
"Threaten.." It occurred to me. "oh, what did he say, that he'd tell father that I slept with him?" I shrugged again. Quill didn't think I cared, did he? He seemed hurt, perhaps almost jealous, yet he of all people should know that I never care for others. That I never could care for others, and never would. "I only did that to get information on Thran - and it worked perfectly." This bun tastes funny too. "I wonder how father would react."
“I suggest you don’t tell him. Not about us either, I don’t want to be fired.”
For a second, I imagined him really being fired. It was a strange thought - I knew finding another tutor wouldn't be hard, but I was used to Quill. Having someone else around, explaining everything to someone else, that would just be waste of time and money.
I got up, feeling the room spinning around me for a moment. I closed my eyes and opened them again, making sure not to show I still felt fairly weak - if I showed it, I was pretty sure, he would've forced me to stay lying down for the next week.
"Well.." I forced myself to swallow that bun. It tastes like dust. Or at least that's what I imagine dust tasting like. "If I ever decide to make him angry by mentioning whom I sleep with, I'll go with sister dear, not you."
He was silent for a long moment, seeming to be fighting with himself a bit. “Wouldn’t the risk of her turning against you be much smaller if you didn’t insist on sleeping with her?”
That isn't troubling you, is it? I remembered I had told him once, years ago, that he can't be with anyone else if he wants to be with me - but it was more of a test than an actual request, and it wouldn't really matter to me if he refused. Perhaps people look at it differently. Perhaps you should ask him. I smiled a bit instead, recalling as Lierre asked me to teach her. "I am not insisting on it," I said. "And if she turns against me, I'll kill her, regardless of how many times I sleep with her."
“I still don’t see how you could possibly get something out of it. I can’t imagine her father taught her much.”
He held the door open for me, and I walked out, tying up my hair, with the picture of father and Lierre in my head. I never got her to tell me in much detail what exactly he did - and I wanted to know. I wanted to know what was so strong that could break a person like her in that way, and what were the things she feared more than anything.
"Whatever he did," I made sure to keep my voice barely a whisper as he joined my side, "it's easier to act love when she knows nothing about it." I shrugged. "There is a chance I get something from it, and I needed to take that chance. Really, the biggest issue is constant pretending of niceness."
I would do anything for you. I will never let you get hurt. I was running out of phrases as time went by.
“Then I suppose it’s a good thing you have me, so you don’t have to pretend."
That tone, in his voice, again. I don't understand. He sounded almost desperate, in a way; not quite mad, yet definitely not calm. Not quite sad, yet most surely not happy. Not really like he expected me to say it's not so at all, yet somehow not reconciled with the fact it just is.
"Precisely," I said, turning back to him. "Besides, I doubt she would like to be chained up as I do..well, everything I do." I almost smiled at the memory, the one of the night when I cut my initial into his skin. "Unfortunately - but as you said, it's a good thing I have you."
“What if I refused?" What? "I doubt you’d find anyone else willing to do those things.” He sounded calm, but I could read something..something in between of sadness and annoyance, perhaps, in his eyes. It was interesting - I wondered if it would change towards one of those.
"...refused?" I repeated. "You wouldn't refuse." I was sure - after all, he was never against it for a bit. I smirked. "And if you did, I'd do it anyway - along with demonstrating what happens when my orders aren't followed."

I lost my breath as he pinned me against a wall, holding my wrists behind my back. I couldn't move a muscle, one of his hands gripping both of mine and keeping me in place like that.
“You should watch your tongue." He spoke before I managed to sort my thoughts. His voice was different - his everything was different. "I’m not some little girl you can boss around however you want, and you’d do well to remember that. You wouldn’t be able to as much as touch me if I didn’t let you.”
I didn't like being restrained like that - I couldn't stand being restrained in any way. He knew it very well - this was the first time in all the years I've known him, that he didn't seem to care a bit. Maybe because of myself still being ill, he was too strong for me to fight - I couldn't even move, and it was getting strangely hard to breathe, as I started feeling distant, dull pain where he held my wrists. I couldn't make myself think of any other way of talking than hissing an order. "Let go of me."
“I don’t feel like it." He said it in an almost sing-song voice, but one that didn't even seem his. Have I done something to him? He wasn't joking - I knew it; even though I couldn't really get mad at him, I was sure he would never push the limits that far. Perhaps.. He untied my shirt with his other hand, and his fingertips brushed against my skin. He was colder, much colder than me. No. I tried to look around, to make him let go of me, to do anything - he didn't seem to be noticing my efforts.
"Quill." Breathing was unusually hard. "Stop it." I couldn't focus on making myself appear angry..but then again, it didn't even matter - he knew what it was like anyway. "Let go of me, now."
“No." I couldn't feel his breath, even though he was speaking right next to my ear. “You’ll have to turn me to dust.”
For a moment, I considered it, fighting to sort my thoughts enough to even think of doing it. No. I stopped myself before letting it happen, feeling my head aching again. He had never acted this way before - but I never saw anyone changing their behaviour this randomly either. I never found myself in a situation of that kind, and I never thought he would ever put me in one. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have hesitated - but even though I would've never admitted it to him, I couldn't imagine life without Quill. He'd been my protector ever since I was a child. My informer, my advisor, my lover, my tutor..the only person I could think of, whom I'd trust with a secret. It would be a shame to make him disappear in a second.
I felt his grip on my wrists loosening a bit, but I didn't move. If I did, and he squeezed his fingers harder again, I would've stopped controlling my magic, and I'd force him to let go of me.
I felt his hand sliding over my chest, still so much colder than my own skin, keeping my face impassive. I didn't want to make a move, now. I couldn't make him let go of me, and I knew he wouldn't do it until he was done, and I wasn't going to keep trying it.
It was harder than I thought - I'd normally pretended to have any emotions at all, faking reactions from dawn till dusk..but there were things one couldn't quite call emotions, and I couldn't force my breathing to stay calm, not even after closing my eyes so I didn't have to see the hallways around us.
Stop it. I wouldn't even bother with magic, I'd cut your hand off if you were anyone else. But it wasn't anyone else - so I just let him keep me pinned against that wall, forcing myself to stay calm while a big part of me screamed to push him away and get as far as possible. The other part of me - less loyal to my mind, as it appeared - wanted to figure a way to set free and push him back into the room instead, and play the angry part later.

I bit my lip to control myself, and not to run off right away as he let go of me and pulled away a little bit. I turned to him, frowning, locking my eyes on his.
"Don't ever think of doing that again."
“You can’t tell me what to do, my prince," he was still angry, and still strange, but that weird tone was gone. "I’m stronger than you, and I’m not actually your subject.”
Keep telling yourself that. I wanted to smirk - I was well aware of not being quite successful. "Yes, I can," I said, keeping silent enough so no one can hear me, cold enough to make him feel guilty. "I can, if you want to keep calling me your prince. And unless you want me to really turn you to dust the next time, don't ever do this again."
*

I marched out of the castle, ignoring every servant who tried to cross my path, reaching the stables in matter of minutes. I payed no attention to horses and their tenders, instead taking the path to where my dragon was kept. I found an empty space, with long rope stretching into the air, and three guards who all told me what I already knew; she was flying, up above us but not as high as she'd have liked, I was sure of that. I looked up, following her as she flew in circles for a while, before letting out a silent whistle. I wasn't quite sure of how good a hearing dragons had, nor if she cared about me being her master; but she would come to me no matter how loudly I'd call, and she'd never respond to anyone else. I waited for her to land, as the guards backed off. I held back a smirk, not caring enough to even try to fake any sort of emotion, as I approached her. Unfolding her wings again, she nudged my chest, looking up at me, and then growled slightly at the guard who followed me. I turned towards him too, absentmindedly stroking her nose.
"Good day, my lord." I nodded in reply. "I'm afraid I can't let you fly."
I glanced at the dragon and then back at him. I must think of a name for her. "I won't try to run away."
"I'm sorry, sir. His Highness's orders, as you know yourself," he added the last part somewhat hesitatingly. "Not without permission."
I let my hand slide down from the dragon's head. "She's tied to the ground, and besides, my little sister is in the castle, waiting to get married to your prince. Just how stupid would I have to be to attempt to flee the country now?"
"I'm sorry, Your Grace." He stepped back, and I glared after him. When did I become "Your Grace"? If I recalled correctly, the term was used for heirs - at least in my home country - not Princes with no real power in a kingdom which wasn't their own. I shoved it away, but not before my thoughts ran to Quill again. You are my Prince.
"He says it every bloody time, and still defies me like that," I muttered to the dragon, as she folded her wings back. She gave me a long look and then turned to glare at the sky. I followed her eyes. "I know," I said. "You're not the only one trapped." I wondered if she'd follow me to Barqarnon if I went back there after the wedding. If she would, and I would still be the prince, it would just be the question of time before my father would kill her, regardless of the fact she was mine - or probably just because of that.
Her head moved, she caught my shirt with her teeth and pulled me up, dropping me on her back. I gave a little smirk to the guards, who reacted as if she ate me in front of them, but shook my head.
"We can't," I told her. "They might shoot us down."
She hissed, flapping her wings but then folding them again as I kept shaking my head.
"Soon," I muttered, knowing she could hear me, running my fingers over her neck. It was strangely calming, feeling her warmth and sensing the slow beating of her heart somewhere under her skin. I recalled what I've heard, about my mother having blood of the dragons in her veins, and turned my face west. I could see nothing pass the walls of the castle grounds; yet if I'd fly up, I knew, I could see over the roofs and towers, all the way to the mountains of my kingdom. I smiled a bit to myself. My kingdom. "Soon enough, dearie, you will fly as much as you like, I promise you that."
She growled lowly, seeming to sulk a bit, and I slid down from her back as I noticed the guards discussing something. I was fairly sure what they were considering, and I didn't want King Creyo - or even worse, Brek - to appear here to tell me the same things I already heard. Not to mention, they might both find it somewhat suspicious to see me without Quill, and I didn't need anyone to know what happened between us.
Walking aimlessly after I left my dragon, ordering the guards to feed her by the way, I let my mind run to what had happened earlier.
It was stupid, what Quill did, trying to control me like that. What was he thinking, that I would break down and cry? Show him fear and beg him to let me go? Bow and offer for our roles to switch, apologise? I couldn't recall nor imagine ever doing any of it. What was he even trying to achieve, prove he's stronger than me? I frowned a bit, rubbing my left wrist with my right hand. It still hurt at touch, however slightly, and my skin was still a bit more red than usual at the spots his fingers held it to. Granted, he was stronger than me - surprisingly so, when one would think back to everything I'd been doing to him over the years - and if he'd decided to do something other than what he did, I wouldn't had been able to fight it. I was well aware that, if he chose to defy me in a more dangerous way, I'd have no choice but really use my magic against him. And even if I could find another tutor, and I was aware of many qualities which he shared with no living person I knew, it would mean to either lie to everyone about what happened or to admit to having magic - and I liked the fact that Thran and most of the others, by some wonder, still had no idea about it.
"What do you want?"
My eyes snapped up at Thran's voice, and I just then realized my walk lead me to the armoury, near the training facilities and Brek's chambers. Well done, Dae, run away from them by running into them. I skimmed over Thran and a bunch of swords around him, which he was polishing and carefully putting in place.
"Is walking around the castle forbidden, Your Highness?" I replied, walking over to one of the swords he put to its holder, and taking it out. Hearing his sigh, I took out another one, and smirked as he got up and stood between me and the rest of the swords.
"If you want to spar or whatever, just take one and go outside."
"Not really." I walked around the room and put them down in random places, then observing him as he took them all and put them back where they belonged. I leaned against a wall. "So..sucking up to Brek?"
He sat back by his bunch of swords. "Shut up."
I smirked again, walking over to him and circling around him, picking up one of the not-yet-polished swords. "Did he figure what happened in the town yesterday?"
Tran sighed. "Did Lierre tell you?"
Of course she did, but you should think you can trust her. "No, but you just did." I grinned at his expression. "So then, what was that about?"
He was silent for a while, so I poked his arm. He was on his feet in an instant, hissing and pressing his hand against it.
"Son of--"
"Now, I know Lierre didn't cut you up, so whom did you fight with?"
He crossed his arms. "Why do you care?"
Don't flatter yourself, I'm only trying to amuse myself by watching you avoiding to answer me. I shrugged. "Well..if you had to fight, they were either an army or you went to town guardless - seeing we'd probably hear about the former, I'll take it it's the latter, meaning my sister was unprotected."
He frowned. "I was there."
"Your future bride, not safe with you."
"I was there."
I slid my fingers over the blade in my hand. "So..your future bride, not safe with you."
"...F*ck you."
I snickered. Seeing your assistant is dead, sister dear isn't what I want right now and Quill doesn't deserve it, that one will have to wait.
"You really think polishing swords will do it, and make Brek forget about your mistake?"
He looked around. "...maybe?" I lifted an eyebrow, and he sighed. "He's talking to Father."
"You better hope Brek won't tell him," I muttered, "Creyo would be pissed."
He glared at me. "You could at least pretend to have a bit of respect."
"His Highness might be displeased," I corrected myself, and he rolled his eyes. I took his seat, observing the polishing equipment. "Well, if someone would do something worse, they could forget about you being an idiot for a while."
He ignored my lack of respect this time. "Like what, and like who?"
"Me," I said. "I could burn down some part of the castle."
His eyes narrowed a bit as I kept my face impassive. "...I can't quite tell if you're serious."
I was serious - but I only shrugged. "Or you can just go somewhere and avoid him for a while longer."
"I'm pretty sure they wouldn't let me," he admitted. It was strange, and even his tone told it; I was never fighting with Quill, and I was never being casually friendly with Thran for no reason.
I sighed. "I haven't been to town in ages. Let's go together. We could go say hello to Sha--"
"Don't even mention him," he thought for a moment. Come now, nothing I do can be worse than very angry Brek, in your eyes, can it? "Fine. Before he comes back, then."
He hesitated a bit as we reached the edge of the training facilities, glancing towards where I assumed Ludiv's rooms were.
"We don't need guards," I said, and he frowned.
"Do you want him to f*cking kill me?"
"Unlike Lie, I'm an adult, and I have Quill to worry about me, not Brek." Which wasn't completely true - I knew well enough that Brek's responsibility was everyone, and not only the ones he was directly in charge of taking care of. As uncle Marius once said, people like them had to make sure to look over everyone, if they wanted to do their job properly.
Thran opened his mouth to say something, probably to notice Quill's absence, and froze as we spotted Brek walking towards us. He lifted his eyebrows as he noticed us, and he didn't look happy. Well then, showtime.
"Lord Elgan," I nodded to him as we got close enough to each other.
"Master Daerys.." his eyes narrowed a bit. "My Prince.. Where to, may I ask?"
"We're about to leave for a walk," I said calmly. "To the town. I wished to buy some things and I'm fairly sure Thran knows the town better than I do."
"I'm sure." I knew Brek couldn't directly forbid us from going, not while we were outside, I was there and he had to treat Thran like the prince he was, but I was also sure he wouldn't just let us leave either. "Allow me to call your guards for you."
"We won't need guards," I replied. He lifted an eyebrow.
"Master Daerys, you are two heirs. There is no way you're leaving the castle alone."
"We can defend ourselves."
"I'm afraid I must insist."
"We could leave the castle alone when we were children," I noted.
"You could run away from the castle as children," he corrected me, and I smirked. "..I see. I wouldn't suggest you doing that now."
I frowned a bit, for a second losing track of conversation, as I felt a pang of pain in my wrists. That was unusual - I wasn't normally feeling pain that much, and it's been a while since Quill pinned me to that wall. If I was feeling it this strong now, then any normal person would've probably been screaming before..yet they weren't broken, for I could hold a sword in my hand and no one noticed anything happening with it, myself included.
"Very well then," I said finally, realizing I lost the idea of what I wanted to say to make him let us go alone. "Two guards, far enough behind - we don't want to make an impression of fearing the people of Merillial, or being too weak to defend ourselves."
*

It took us long enough to persuade Brek, that Thran and I ended up in the main street, with four guards trailing us a few meters behind, almost an hour after we left the armoury.

We walked in silence, practically in the middle of the road, attracting far more attention than either of us wanted. It was useless - if I wanted people to glare and bow and observe me like an exotic animal, I would've stayed in the castle.
Probably surprising him, I pulled Thran into a tavern, suppressing a smirk as I noticed the guards panically follow us in. Sitting at one table, I nodded to them and shot them a smile, nodding in answer to their unspoken question, and they ordered themselves some drinks.
"I wonder if Brek is more concerned we might get hurt by someone else or that we might hurt each other," I muttered.
"Probably a little of both." Thran laid his arm across his lap carefully. "Us being hit seems to bother him either way, whether we're hitting each other or being hit by strangers."
"Then what's the point of guards, if it's the same if you run into some criminals or if I beat you up back in the castle?" I could practically hear what he was about to say before he said it.
"Pff, in your dreams, maybe."
I took a glass in my hand, but didn't really drink from it - I doubted anyone would try anything, but I knew better than to be as reckless. I glanced at the bar, spotting a few girls looking at us. They were quite open about it, grinning widely as they noticed I was looking. Brilliant. This place changed since I was last here, but it will work just fine. I turned to Thran and let myself smile a bit. "I'm tired of the guards. We should get rid of them."
"Yeah." He glanced over his shoulder at them, before looking back at me and smirking. "I'm game if you are."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You, Sir, are engaged. To my sister, at that." I pretended to take a sip of my drink and more or less slammed it back on the table. "You're staying here and keeping that image."
I got up, running my fingers through my hair, pretty sure he wouldn't just stay still and let me do everything. I couldn't help but frown slightly at the strange feeling in my wrists, where Quill had been gripping them. It wasn't quite pain - but I didn't know what it was.
Thran looked bewildered. "Wha--" He glanced over his shoulder again and flushed red, before slinking down in his seat and muttering. "I didn't see them."
I smirked as I turned to the girls, changing that expression into a smile as I approached them. "Ladies."
"Your Highness," one of them muttered, and the others performed not-quite-ladylike bows. Well, that will do. I didn't quite expect them to know much of politics, though I was sure the King - and probably Thran or Brek either - wouldn't be too happy to hear his people address me as their Prince.
"Mm.. do tell. Would you be as kind as to do me a favour?" I considered just ordering it, but decided to play nice instead, and casually put out a small bag filled with coins. I couldn't quite recall where I took it from, but I was fairly sure not all of those coins really belonged to me. Their eyes widened, and the one who spoke now raised an eyebrow. I nodded a bit. "How generous of you. Now, I'm sure you know of my friend, your Prince, and his engagements, yes?" I didn't wait for an answer. "See, we went out today to remember the days when we were kids, abut also to celebrate the engagements - however, the places we wish to visit.." I glanced at the guards. "We can't really take them there. And it feels so wrong to leave them all alone." I smiled wider. "If you'd be as kind as to keep them company while we're gone, I would-- we would much appreciate it."

I stayed leaned against the bar, as they giggled and left in the guards' direction. I waited for a minute - as long as it took them to surround the men, hiding everything around from their views - and then caught Thran's eyes and gestured at the door.
He sprang up from his seat, and edged toward the door, glancing at the guards every few moments to be sure they didn't see us. He turned to grin at me as soon as we were outside. "Where do you want to go?"
"Wherever," I shrugged, realizing I'm rubbing my wrist with the other hand's fingers after a moment. What is that feeling? And even more important, why am I feeling it? I shouldn't be. I didn't recall ever feeling it before - but then again, I didn't recall Quill acting that way before either. Can those really be connected? I didn't know. Was it how everyone felt after a fight? Or something which others would feel emotionally, but I felt it physically instead? I frowned. "We could leave the city." And make Quill worried. And Brek angry. For some reason I liked the idea. "I always wanted to visit the Academy of magic."
Thran hesitated a moment, flexing his hand, frowning. A moment later he looked up. "Uh..yeah, sure, why not"
So easily? I shrugged and lead the way, rolling up the sleeves of my shirt and untying it a bit. I frowned slightly again, as something like tiny burning sparks appeared in my fingertips when I touched the laces, but I couldn't see anything. I disregarded it. You're probably still a bit ill, and the fight didn't help it. I glanced at Thran. "We might not want to look completely prince-like if we don't want to attract too much attention."
"Yeah." He jerked the laces around his collar open, then glared at his arm. He tried, awkwardly, to roll up his right sleeve a moment, before sighing irritably and glancing up at me. "My hand still doesn't work properly."
I considered making a comment on that - but decided that him trying to punch me might atract too much attention. "You really got lucky," I muttered instead, taking his sleeve and not really caring to roll it up gently. "If anything happened to Lierre.."
"I'm a lot more concerned about Lierre than any threats you want to think up." He muttered, forcing himself not to flinch as he glared at my hands. I started to pull my hands away, when his eyes suddenly snapped back up to my face. "What happened to your wrists?"
I looked down at them; the marks of fingers, darker than my skin, weren't terribly visible - yet I was sure they weren't there a few minutes ago. I put my hands down, taking the right one into the left and putting my fingers over the marks, and shook my head. "Nothing." I pressed my fingers a bit, and for a seconds struggled to keep the unaffected face. It hurt - it actually hurt, way more than I knew it should. I bit my lip automatically. "Doesn't matter, let's go."
"No, tell me." Thran insisted, glaring at me. "You always want to know what happens when I hurt my-- when I get hurt. What happened to you?"
"No, I always figure what happened to you, because you never really make it a challenge to find out." I looked down on my hand again as something tickled my palm a bit. There was some dust there, silvery and alike that which appears when I use my magic. Yet nothing was gone, as much as I could see, and I was sure I wasn't using it now. "I had..a fight, of a sort.. nothing serious. I'll survive."
"Fine, then...I'll figure it out if you don't want to tell me." Thran started to cross his arms, but seemed to think better of it. "What do you want with the Academy of magic anyway?"

Good question. See how big of a threat it might be. "I'm just curious. Merillial is today the only country with such a place, I think. There maybe used to be one in Baqarnon, and surely some in Scarthia, but those were gone before or during the War.." I looked up at him as we walked. "Have you ever been there?"
"No." He shook his head stiffly. "I...never really saw much..I mean... I guess I just didn't have the inclination at the right moment."
"Mm.." I absentmindedly played with my rings. "Magic is an interesting thing."
"It's less interesting than it is frustrating, when you don't have any." He grumbled, and I almost smirked again. As much as I knew, neither he nor Brek knew of my magic - and I prefered it that way. In the Merillian castle, really, I was fairly sure Quill was the only one who knew what I could do. Probably if there was someone who knew anything about it, you'd be able to properly control it. I shoved the thought away.
"Are you jealous of them?" I did smirk this time, but turned serious in a moment. "In Barqarnon, magic is more common among the people in the streets," I informed him without anything in particular in mind. "Or so I've read."
"Jealous..." He repeated slowly, seeming to think. "I'm not sure it's jealousy, so much as...resentment." He frowned a moment, not looking at me. "I don't want it; at least not most of the time. But I don't like that so many other people have it...I can only fight so much. With magic, though...they can do...more."
Oh yes, we can. I stayed serious. "Lierre can do magic," I said, not quite sure if he already knew it. "So can Father, but he wasn't born with his, he learned it." So can mother, and so can I, but you don't need to know that. "I never saw any books on magic in the castle's library here."
"I know." He muttered, glaring harder. He was quiet a moment before shaking his head as if to clear it, and looking back at me. What now? Are you still curious about what happened with my wrists? "I haven't either... I don't think we have any."

For a few minutes, walking, we stayed silent. I considered answering his question from before, telling him of the fight with Quill - I didn't want to, and it was none of his business, but it was strange..and I couldn't confide in Quill about it, seeing his role in the matter. I shouldn't be thinking about it this much. I glared at the people who passed us, wondering where Quill was. Was he worried, or still mad at me? What even was that mood of his? Will he apologise? I wanted him to - I wouldn't forget it, but, for some reason, it felt like an apology might make things better. Make me stop feeling anything so randomly, make me stop thinking about it so much.. I frowned slightly again, looking down at my hands I felt strange tingling, tying my fist as a ring on my finger disappeared. For a moment, I glanced at Thran - he wasn't paying enough attention to notice it, though I was quite sure he did notice that I wasn't quite myself - and when I looked back, the ring was there again. I bit my lip. Was my mind playing tricks with me? Could it be because of the illness, still? I somehow doubted it, but what was the alternative?

"Do you think your sister and I will be allowed to return to our homes as you and Lierre get married?" I asked, mostly just for the sake of asking anything.
"I hope so." Thran sighed. I almost smirked. That's not hard to believe.
"And then?" I turned my head up and glared at the sky for a while, before realising I was rubbing my wrists again and putting my hands in my pockets instead. Why does it hurt? It shouldn't hurt, I don't get like that. "Have you ever thought about what being a king one day would be like?"
"Mm..." He answered, glaring at the ground for a few moments as we walked. "I try not to think about that. I don't think I'll enjoy it."
Well if you don't start acting the way I want you to, you most likely won't enjoy it. I raised my eyebrow a bit. "No? Why not? You'll be able to order Brek around, isn't that something like dream come true?"
"No. That would just be weird." He lifted a shoulder. "Besides, I don't think Brek would do very well taking orders from me."
You wouldn’t be able to as much as touch me if I didn’t let you, Quill's words flashed through my mind again, and I couldn't quite gather my thoughts for a moment. What the hell is happening to me? I licked my lips, taking my hands out of my pockets again, and frowned at silvery dust on my fingertips. "He won't really have a choice," I muttered, only partly really managing to pay attention to the conversation. "Though then again, he's been babysitting you so far, he might as well end up ruling instead of you. Perhaps War Chiefs should have crowns instead of kings."
"I'd prefer it." Thran snapped. "I've made no secret of the fact I'd rather have his job than Dad's."
And what makes you think you'd actually be good at either? I did smirk this time. "I doubt he'd accept it even if he was offered, honestly.. my uncle wouldn't. Acting from behind the scenes is more of their thing, I'd say." I stopped as I felt strange tingling on my hand, and clenched my fist as one of my rings just disappeared, holding the dust trapped in my fist. Of all the possible bad moments.. In the past, there were times when I couldn't control my powers properly, but so far it had never happened that I'd start randomly destroying things I'd touch - and even worse, feel worried about it. He can't notice. He can't know.. it would change everything. "Maybe we should get back."
"What?" He stopped, turning to glare at me. "Now?"
I nodded, only to shake my head a moment later. "No.. I don't know." I bit my lip, noticing the gates of the Academy not so far ahead. We were already practically there.. You still are a bit sick. you could use that. Better risk him noticing the act than noticing the magic. "I just don't quite feel well, but I suppose I'll be fine." I wrapped my fingers over my wrist again, not at all fond of the tingling I felt on my skin.
"Mm, that makes two of us." He grunted, glancing at my wrist. "Why do you keep grabbing your arm?"
"It's none of your business." Because it hurts, while it shouldn't, and it's making things I touch disappear, which is potentially dangerous in more ways than I can count.. and because I'm worried and anoyed by it, and I have no idea what to do about it. I looked away before saying it. Don't be an idiot. You can't let it show, you can't let him know. You can't let anyone know. I shoved the thoughts of one person who knew aside and sighed. "Because my wrists hurt. I had an argument, and it didn't go too well.. why do you care, or want to know?"
"Because I don't hate you as much as you seem to hate me." Thran kept walking, shrugging again, not looking at me anymore. "And I was curious what happened to your arm."
I frowned. "I don't hate you." I don't even know what exactly that would be like. "Even my father doesn't hate you, you know."
"He just enjoys making my life a living hell? Nothing personal?"
"At least he doesn't want you dead." I shrugged. "You're not a threat to him, and if you keep that attitude about becoming a king, it will most likely stay so." Except for by then he will no longer be the king. Perhaps I should kill Creyo instead, and have Brek and father war for a while before taking my crown. I thought about it for a long moment, before deciding against it, not for the first time. Even if that happened, I would still be in Merillial, and Brek would have to be a way bigger idiot than he was to just let me go then. I smiled a bit. "If you hate him, why don't you tell him? He can hate you all he wants then, our kingdoms will be allies anyway. Or you could fight him in a tournament.. will there be a tournament, along with the wedding?" You could just do me a favour and kill each other off, right after making sure my sister is the queen of this land if you die.
"Hah! And have him turn me into a toad? No thanks. I don't know what he can do to me, and I'd just as soon keep it that way."
"He can't turn people into toads.. if he could, I wouldn't even be here." Should I feel something about that? "He controls shadows and darkness.. and like anyone else, needs books to perform different kinds of spells."
"Oh, is that all? He just controls--" Thran laughed, somewhat more nervously than he seemed to mean to, before rolling his eyes. "Of course, then. That sounds easy enough."
"Well you could use it to your advantage." What are you doing? If he tells Brek or anyone else that you're giving him advices on how to kill your father.. I shrugged. "I don't care. I just wouldn't like to be toyed with like that. You're marrying his daughter, after all."
"Mm." Thran frowned harder. "I don't know that killing her Dad would be the best approach to winning her affections."
Ah yes, that play we're pretending to know how to act in. "She'd survive without him," I muttered, knowing well enough it might not be the smartest call I ever made. "She'll always have me.. and mother, and uncle Marius.. Oh, and you know, her husband." I shrugged again. Why can't I control my powers? "She doesn't really have to know. People die in tournaments."
He glared at me sideways a moment. "Of course she'd have us. But... she would know, if I killed him."
"Well she'd know it was done, but nothing more than that." Do you realise that killing my father makes me a king? "Perhaps Brek can do that for you as well."
"Pff, I'm sure that I've got plenty of people who would tell her if I did... and ideally..." He glanced at me suspiciously. "I mean... Screw it, I don't care if you are the heir. Your father's a prick."
I allowed a smile to slip onto my face. At least we've moved from the topic of what happened to my wrists - and justignoring it was much simpler than having to try to think of answers. Not for the first time, I wondered how he'd react to the idea of Quill and I having had a fight, as we kept on walking in silence.
We stopped a few minutes later again, to let a carriage pass, and that was when the world sudenly turned completely black for a moment, before I regained my consciousness and found myself gripping the wall I was leaning to, as if I wanted to dig into it with my fingers. Thran was frowning, seeming unsure of what to do an whether to do anything. Oh right, wouldn't be the first time I'm acting some sort of weakness to get something. Looks like he remembers our childhood better than I thought. I felt the dust under my fingers and separated from the wall, looking at the house it belonged to. Nothing seemed wrong with it, but that dust had to come from somewhere. Licking my lips, I turned to Thran, not at all pleased with the way my heart seemed to be trying to beat its way out of my chest. What is wrong with me? I feel like I just woke up from a nightmare, but that's impossible.. I couldn't remember a single time when I'd feel anything like this. Maybe it happened when I was a child.. maybe Quill remembers.
"What happened?" I muttered, well aware of the fact my every trail of thoughts ended in having to talk to Quill.
Thran shook his head slightly. "We were about to cross the street when you turned all dizzy and caught onto that house. You're not alright, are you?"
"Such observation skills." I couldn't even make my words come out in their usual mocking tone. I can't stay here. Not for a minute longer.. Glancing around, I could see people, houses and animals, stores and taverns, all seeming like created from tiny grains of colourful dust. As much as I could gather, they didn't appear like that to anyone else; something with my powers was wrong, drastically so, and it seemed to be affecting my emotions as well, making me worried and almost afraid - not of something others could do to me, but of what would happen if controlling my magic stayed this impossible.
"We should go back," I said, forcing my breathing to stay calm and struggling to name whatever it was that was taking over my mind. The familiar feeling of tingling, present whenever I'd as much as think about using my powers, spread from my fingers all across my skin, burning but cold at the same time, making me shiver and wish to make my clothes disappear. Making sure Thran wasn't looking, I took one of my rings in my hand, concentrating more than I ever had to focus just on it. It disappeared, but if only for a moment, before reappearing on my palm like nothing happened. The burning feeling went away for as long as the ring was gone, returning with striking intensity which made me bite my lip hard to stop myself from making a sound. It wasn't just terribly strange and toying with my emotions, it was turning into physical pain which would only fade as I'd turn something into dust, and it was concerning. I wanted to use it on everything and everyone I saw around. I wanted to wrap my fingers around Thran's wrist and see if he'd reappear after being destroyed too. I wanted to turn the whole city into dust, feeling as I very well could without even concentrating particularly, and at the same time I wanted to lock myself up in some tiny room and hope it'd pass soon. This can't be happening. I need my magic. I need to be able to control it.

I didn't pay attention to the guards when they caught up with us and tried to hold us a lecture about leaving on our own. I didn't turn to look at Thran again nor spoke another word until we got to the castle.
"My room," I murmured there, waving a bit in goodbye and walking off as quickly as I could.
***
• previously ChildOfNowhere
- they/them -
literary fantasy with a fairytale flavour





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Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:25 am
Alvarin says...



Jonquille - Prince Daerys’ tutor | Merillial castle - Day Four
Spoiler! :
“I can take that to the prince’s room, if you don’t mind.” Jackie was so startled that he almost dropped the tray of food. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” She was staring at me with wide eyes, her eyes wide with fear. I tilted my head to the side. “What’s wrong?” I smiled as I watched her pale face. She wasn’t seeing a human face, but a grotesque and distorted one, no doubt horrifying. Anyone else would’ve turned around and run, but she wasn’t sure if she was actually seeing something real, or if I was just another hallucination. Sleep deprivation would do that to you. That’s what you get for trying to take what’s mine. I snickered as she handed me the tray and hurried away. How much longer would she be able to stand it? A day, maybe two, then I wouldn’t ever have to see her looking at my prince again, ever.

She wasn’t the first, and wouldn’t be the last, that I had made delusional and suicidal. During the night I had left Dae’s side, just for a moment, to pay a visit to his sister. Her mind was so pliable. I just had to change a few little details in her nightmare, and then her own mind did the rest. Making Meg’s face a little more like Dae’s, sending in Thran at the moment when she was the most desperate. I hadn’t even painted him out as a savior, she did that all on her own.

I carefully opened the door to Dae’s room and walked inside. He was still fast asleep, which wasn’t surprising considering what I had done to him during the night. He’d already missed breakfast, which was why I had ordered for it to be brought to his room instead. He never ate much, but this way I could make sure he at least ate a normal portion. I put down the tray on the nightstand and then sat down on the edge of his bed. I had made sure that he hadn’t had any nightmares, and I hoped that he’d at least be somewhat rested. Despite my obvious lack of self control I had at least manage to only take the smallest amount of energy from him.

His eyes fluttered open as I brushed my lips against his. “Good morning. I brought you something to eat, my prince.”

"Mm." He turned away, burying his face into the pillow.

“I made some herbal tea. Drink it, you’ll feel better.” When he didn’t respond I snickered, despite the sense of guilt that I felt, and kissed the line of his neck. “You can stay in bed all day if you wish, but you should eat something now.. Don’t make me force you.”

"I'm not hungry," he muttered. "And I can't stay in bed, I have things to do."

“Eat,” I coaxed. “Please?” I leaned closer, to whisper in his ear. “I’ll do anything you want if you just eat something.. And drink the tea I made.” It was an old recipe, which I had picked up from a tribe in the plains. Cured most things, and had some other nice side effects as well.

He shifted a bit, enough to make his voice understandable enough. "You'll do anything I want anyway."

I frowned. Not quite anything. “Is that so? I do remember a few things that I’ve refused to do.. But if you want to act like an eight year old kid, fine. I’ll just force you to stay here until you’ve eaten.. Or maybe it’ll be punishment enough when you swoon in front of Thranack and Megarus?” I said that last thing with a slight smile and a teasing voice. Stop being so stubborn.

"Refused to do, but did anyway," he muttered before turning to his back again and looking up at me. There was no trace of anything close to emotions in his eyes - but they were still shinier than a healthy human's eyes should be. "I said I'm not hungry."

“Eat, or you’ll never get well,” I said simply. I was feeling strangely annoyed. Dae didn’t usually manage to get me in a bad mood, even if he tried to - unless he slept with someone else.

"I'm better than last night, and you didn't seem to care then."

“Don’t be mean,” I said with a sigh, not trying to show how guilty I felt. It was like stone in my chest, a sharp one that moved every time I thought. I had lost control last night, when I shouldn’t have. I had drained him of energy, kept him sparring for too long out in the rain, slept with him when he was sick, and now I couldn’t even make him eat. Incubi really are useless guardians. “Just eat something, and get well.”

He smirked. "Is that guilt? I don't recall you ever insisting that much on something like that."

Oh, the joys of having no feelings. He probably had no clue what guilt felt like. “Yes, it is. Very strong guilt at that, so eat or I’ll nag us both to death.” I didn’t smile this time. I just needed him to get better, so I could stop acting like his mother, and stop blaming myself for every little thing.

"Oh?" He sat up, reached to the food and took the tea instead. At least that’s something. "I don't really know what you think you're guilty of." I studied his expression for a while, not finding anything there that I was able to read.

“Getting you sick. I didn’t notice it started raining yesterday, and then I shouldn’t have.. You really can be very persuasive.” I frowned, not sure if that was a good thing or not. Probably not. I would’ve prefered if Dae was an idiot like Thranack.. At times like these, at least.

"It's not often that I must get particularly persuasive at all," he noticed, drinking a sip of tea and frowning at it a bit.

“It’s good for you,” I commented and hoped that he wouldn’t put it down. “And no, I suppose you don’t, since I usually have no reason to object.” Just eat a bun, it’s not that hard. I more or less glared at the tray of food, hoping that he’d eat something. If humans fed on pure energy like incubi did, it would be so much easier to make him feed.

His eyes followed mine, he took a bun and just held it in his hand. "There, see? Even when you think there's a reason to object, you still do as I say."

I frowned. Do you take me for another plaything, like Jackie or James? “I can’t quite agree. I don’t do everything that you say, and you don’t know about everything that I do.”

He smirked again. "So ominous..are you mad at me now?"

“Have I ever been mad at you?” I said with a slight sigh. I wasn’t mad, not really, only annoyed. I wished I could tell him just exactly who I was, and why his exes all killed themselves.. If he had even noticed. I also felt a strange urge to tell him that I had broken James’ neck with my hands yesterday, but that wasn’t going to happen either.

He shrugged. "It wouldn't really matter, now, would it?"

“No, I suppose it wouldn’t, since you wouldn’t care either way.. Speaking of you not caring, I killed James yesterday.” I blurted it out before even thinking about it. So unlike me, or at least who I used to be. I watched for a reaction, but he didn’t even twitch. You could’ve told him that died and came back as a zombie, and he still wouldn’t care.

"That was somewhat stupid, Thran might find out - and Brek might figure it out." He squeezed the bun, glaring at it. "Why did you do it?"

Just eat it already. “I wouldn’t have done it if I couldn’t cover it up,” I muttered. What do you take me for? “And I killed him because he was stupid enough to threaten you, and me while he was at it.” And because I can’t stand the sight of anyone who tries to take what’s mine.

"Threaten..oh, what did he say, that he'd tell father that I slept with him?" He shrugged, "I only did that to get information on Thran - and it worked perfectly." He finally took a bite, then frowning at it the same way he frowned at the tea before. "I wonder how father would react."

That wasn’t quite what James had threatened to do. And it’s not quite why you killed him. “I suggest you don’t tell him. Not about us either, I don’t want to be fired.” If I was fired I’d have to bother with another excuse to be close to Dae, and I already had the perfect reason. Not like he’d care either way.

He got out of the bed, drinking the rest of the tea, and closed his eyes for a second as he stood up. "Well," he muttered, finishing that bun at last, "If I ever decide to make him angry by mentioning whom I sleep with, I'll go with sister dear, not you."

I tried my best to keep my mouth shut as I watched him change, but eventually found that I couldn’t. “Wouldn’t the risk of her turning against you be much smaller if you didn’t insist on sleeping with her?”

He smiled quickly before turning expressionless again. "I am not insisting on it. And if she turns against me, I'll kill her, regardless of how many times I sleep with her."

And if I have any say in it, that time will come quicker than you think. “I still don’t see how you could possibly get something out of it. I can’t imagine her father taught her much.” I held the door open for him.

He walked out, running his fingers through his hair and tying it up as he passed through the doorway, and waited for me in the hallway. "Whatever he did," he said silently as I joined him, "it's easier to act love when she knows nothing about it." He shrugged. "There is a chance I get something from it, and I needed to take that chance. Really, the biggest issue is constant pretending of niceness."

Oh, yes, that must be horrible. I thought about changing the subject, but that would make it too obvious how uncomfortable I was with it. “Then I suppose it’s a good thing you have me, so you don’t have to pretend.” Though sometimes I wish you would pretend. Just once would be enough.

"Precisely," he said, turning to look at me. "Besides, I doubt she would like to be chained up as I do..well, everything I do. Unfortunately - but as you said, it's a good thing I have you."

“What if I refused? I doubt you’d find anyone else willing to do those things.” Of some reason I didn’t feel like I could breathe properly, because my lungs were burning for more air, and I felt my shoulders tense. I was so tired of him seeing and referring to me as a plaything, knowing full well that I could never be anything else. Not to him. Never to him.

"...Refused? You wouldn't refuse." He smirked. "And if you did, I'd do it anyway - along with demonstrating what happens when my orders aren't followed."

Something snapped. I could almost feel as a wall in my head crumbled. Puny little human, how dare you? Before I even knew what I was doing I had slammed him into a wall, pinning him there so he couldn’t move and holding his arms behind his back. “You should watch your tongue. I’m not some little girl you can boss around however you want, and you’d do well to remember that. You wouldn’t be able to as much as touch me if I didn’t let you.” It all came out as a growl between clenched teeth.

He tensed, trying to set free, but I had him pinned. I could be a thousand times stronger than him if I wished to, and I certainly wasn’t going to let him go now. "Let go of me." Said the worm to the eagle.

“I don’t feel like it,” I said coldly and I started untying his shirt. If I was going to piss him off by teaching him a lesson, I might as well do it properly. I snickered as he looked around to see if anyone could see us. I felt like I should care, but I suddenly didn’t. That jagged stone of guilt had suddenly disappear, and I much prefered the red hot anger that had replaced it.

"Quill." He didn't even bother putting up a proper act. "Stop it. Let go of me, now."

“No,” I said simply. “You’ll have to turn me to dust.” And even then I can just come back and feed on you until there’s nothing left. It’s high time you learned how food should be.. I froze, the wall suddenly rising up back into place. Had I seriously just considered killing him? I studied his face, as blank as ever, and loosened my grip of his wrists slightly, without letting him go. I don’t want to hurt him, but he should really learn to respect me. With a slight smile I let my hand slip inside his shirt, now listening for footsteps approaching.

He barely made a move - he stopped trying to make me let go of him, but he didn't do anything else either, keeping silent until I did decide to free him. I let go of his wrists and moved away just enough for him to turn around, and he frowned a bit as he did. "Don't ever think of doing that again."

“You can’t tell me what to do, my prince. I’m stronger than you, and I’m not actually your subject.” Good, make him hate you even more, that’ll.. Wait, he doesn’t care. I frowned. He couldn’t hate me, could he? So it didn’t actually matter what I did or didn’t do.

The corner of his lips curled up a tiny bit. "Yes, I can," he said, still in the same cold and silent voice. "I can, if you want to keep calling me your prince. And unless you want me to really turn you to dust the next time, don't ever do this again." I watched as he walked away. Any sound argument I had would reveal me as what I was, so I stayed silent. I wondered if he’d forgive me, and at the same time cursed at myself for being such an idiot. He couldn’t feel anger or fear, so anything I did was pointless.. Like bouncing a ball against a wall, though eventually a ball would make a dent on the wall, and that wasn’t going to happen in this case. More like the ball will be worn down and break. I sighed, loudly, not bothering thinking about who could hear. Of all humans, it had to be him.

A few moments later I had gathered myself and slipped into the shadows, stalking Dae as I usually did. Just in case he got himself into trouble, and he was still sick, so that was more than enough reasons to keep an eye on him. I followed him like that, hiding in the shadows, until he got outside. Then I turned into a big black raven, one of the few shapes I had ever let myself get used to.. Except for the form of ‘Quill’, that was.

***

It hadn’t been exactly surprising that he and Thran managed to get away from the guards, I had expected as much, but flirting with those two women to do it.. It’s what you taught him. As I walked over the roofs over them, listening in on their conversation I couldn’t help but wonder why he never seemed to use much of those skills on me. I wouldn’t mind being flirted with once in a while.. Though then again, he didn’t need to flirt. I was always the one coming onto him, following his every wink like a.. A dog, that’s what you are. Afraid to admit it?

I froze when I saw those marks on Dae’s wrist, a pain spreading through me, making my form quiver for a moment. I was the one who had put those marks on him, and he looked as he was in pain. He had to be in pain, otherwise I wouldn’t feel it myself, not like that, not like someone was tugging at my soul.

When it finally passed Dae had almost disappeared out of my sight, so I lifted and flew after him, landing on a roof just in time to hear him talk about the Academy of magic. I wasn’t sure if I should follow them in there. There might be someone able to detect me.. Probably not, but I didn’t like taking chances. I don’t like waiting outs.. The pain came again, stronger, but I was ready for it this time and I kept my form almost unaffected.. Almost. Something is wrong. Dae was looking increasingly bothered, and I noticed him staring at his hand for a moment, but I couldn’t see what exactly it was that bothered him. Was it where I had grabbed him?

***

Keeping my form solid was proving difficult, far more difficult than it should be when I had as much energy as I did. I didn’t understand it. The pain I recognized, the pain of the two parts of my soul being pulled apart, but it wasn’t as sharp as it usually was whenever Dae was in pain or injured, nor was it as excruciating as that first time it had been split. The pain was duller this time, but still as strong. Is this the punishment for defying one’s master? It had to be. Why else would demons not kill the person they were bound to? I wasn’t a demon, which was probably why I was even able to defy him in the first place. I have to gather myself, or Dae will know I’m not human. I really tried focusing, and somewhat managed, but it hurt. My body just wanted to dissolve and float to join my other half. At least I’m not the only one who knows something is wrong. The knowledge gave me little satisfaction, as I didn’t know how to fix it. Apologize? That didn’t seem quite enough to appease an ancient spell, and this wasn’t supposed to affect Dae as well. It was my punishment.

I have to see him. The thought echoed through my head as I finally let myself be pulled in Dae’s direction. I felt my raven form disapparate as I slipped through the cracks between the stone blocks in the floor, down and down, until the air around me became damp and heavily scented with dark soil and decay. I had a vague sense of where I was, but I didn’t care enough to put words to it. Dae was further inside, and I couldn’t meet him like this. I needed to focus again, even though it hurt, as if I by materializing distanced myself from him.

Keeping a human form was even more difficult that the animal one, even though I tried to make it as simple as possible, and I had barely managed to take a step before I was suddenly torn apart again, but this time it wasn’t because I couldn’t concentrate. So this is what it feels like to be turned to dust? A short moment of extreme pain, and then nothing than thoughts, before I was brusquely reformed together with the things around me. I struggled to once again take control, and when I finally managed to look around properly I spotted Dae on the floor, or rather, I spotted the pale skin on his hands. Everything else was lost in the dark.

I leaned forward, putting a hand on his shoulder. Dae pulled away when I gasped, scurrying towards the wall. I stared at my palm, not seeing anything wrong with it, but I was sure that for a second the skin had disappeared. “My prince,” I mumbled, finding my lips strangely uncooperative. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did before, I shouldn’t have.” I watched him almost expectantly, waiting to see if it was enough to get it to stop.

"Quill.." I strained my ears to hear him. He shouldn’t be sounding like that. When he sounded cold I hated it, but when he sounded like he actually felt something I got worried. I wondered if he felt the same pain as I did, but couldn’t really ask. Quill, the human, was supposed to be unaffected. "Why am I feeling like this?"

I stepped closer, crouching down in front of him, forcing myself not to touch him and still stay solid. “I don’t know.” By the gods, I need to touch him. I needed to get closer, crawl under his skin if I could. “It’s probably because of your illness.” It surprised me that I could lie coherently without even thinking about it.. But then again, I had had plenty of practice. “I’m sure it’ll..” The last word came out as nothing more than a muffled sound, as I for a second lost concentration, and I thanked my lucky star for the darkness in the catacombs. “..pass,” I repeated.

"It was never like this. I can't focus." I couldn’t either, not when I felt as if the other half of my soul might disappear. did he feel the same pain, or just the pain of his powers going berserk? "I can't control it."

“Yes you can.” I didn’t know if I was trying to convince him or me. I needed to touch him, because somehow I knew that the pain would ease if I did that, but I also knew that I would have my skin ripped off and put back over and over again if I did. That can’t possibly be worse than what I’m already feeling. It would be more physical, yes, but that I knew how to deal with. “Just..” As I put my hand on his shoulder again my breath was cut short. The searing pain went from my palm up through my arm. “Just focus on me,” I managed to say, between closed teeth. At least it was distracting me from that other dull pain, making me able to focus again somewhat. If I could get him tired enough so he can’t use his powers.. After forcing myself to take a breath I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his, not feeling the actual touch, but pain instead. I felt something else as well, the familiar surge of energy right under the surface of his skin, and I tapped into that source as I had so many times before.

It felt better, or at least I thought it did, before he pushed me away, moving the pain from my lips to my chest. "Don't," he said silently, and I rather felt than saw him shake his head. I didn’t want to stop, didn’t want to let him push me away, but I didn’t want to redo my previous mistake. "Don't, Quill, I can't make it stop, I don't know what I could do." Was this like after one of his nightmares? When he actually cared? If I hadn’t been doing my best not to scream my lungs out, I might’ve smiled.

“You can’t do anything to me,” I said before thinking of how strange that must sound to him.. But even if he could do something to me, I didn’t care. I kissed him again, on the neck this time - for once actually trying to leech as much energy as possible from him - one hand still on his shoulder and the other clasping my knee so hard it would’ve been crushed if I was human. “Please, let me help you.” I wasn’t even sure that that was what I was doing, but I couldn’t think of any other way.

He pulled away to look at me, and I almost leaned after him. It was strange, wanting to scream in pain and pull away and at the same time needing to get closer. Like a moth to fire. I needed it to stop, both pains, but I knew they wouldn’t unless I endured them. There were few things worse that I could remember, but there were some, and if I could handle that, then I could do this for Dae. And for myself, to feel whole again.

My whole body tensed up as he kissed me, my muscles retracting like they wanted the ligaments to be torn. I forced myself to not move, and to kiss him back, even though the muscles in my arms were cramping. I couldn’t even focus enough to do something about it. When he pulled me closer I had to bite back a scream, almost biting both our tongues in the process. But at least I was managing to take his energy, a little at a time, and it felt like the other pain was fading, if ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry," he muttered slightly as he pulled back again, and I almost screamed, from the pain in my soul this time, and not the physical one. At any time I would’ve reflected over his words, but I couldn't breathe, and my lungs were burning. I barely got anything more than small gulps of air, and it wasn’t enough, not when I was feeling crushed and torn apart and seared at the same time. "You should just go. I'll survive, you said it'd pass yourself." No, it won’t pass. Don’t push me away. It hurts.

I wrapped one arm around his waist, and buried the other in his hair, gripping it in a way that must’ve been painful for him. For a moment I thought I saw stars dancing around, and wondered if I was hallucinating or actually about to pass out. I kissed him again, drawing as much energy as I could, but still not being able to stop myself from whimpering. I wished that I’d die just to be rid of the pain, and at the same cringing at the thought of not being with him. I need to put a stop to this.. Now. But I couldn’t steal any more energy from a kiss than I was already taking. I tried untying his shirt, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t make my fingers work. The strings suddenly disappeared, slipping through my fingers like sand, and I couldn’t quite tell, but I assumed that my shirt was gone as well. When I felt his fingers burn their way over my chest I once again had to bite back a scream, instead turning it into a loud growl. Instead of tugging at his hair again I let go and slammed my fist into the wall, the skin splitting from the force, but I barely felt it over everything else. I tilted my head back trying to force myself to breathe as I saw the stars dancing in the dark above us. Maybe you’ll actually faint. There’s a first time for everything.

“I can’t..” His lips against my neck made me close my mouth again. He probably hadn’t heard me. I didn’t have any air in my lungs to form words with. You have to.

I let him push me back on the stone floor, too cold against my burning skin, wanting to scream and draw a sigh of relief at the same time as he held himself above me, each hand on the floor at my sides. I wanted to pull him down again, so that he’d stop that other pain, stop me from being split in half. I wasn’t quite sure if it was my vision that was blurry, or the darkness that played tricks on me, but I could barely even make out his face. It was just a smudge. I should be able to fix that, together with my cramping muscles, but it took all my concentration just to remain solid. “You should stop me.”

“No,” I said weakly, frowning slightly at my own voice. Instead I wrapped both arms around him and pulled him down, wincing as his chest touched mine. “I’m not going to do that,” my voice sounded stronger, but I could feel myself shaking. Before he could object again I caught his lips, stealing more energy. Is he even getting tired? I could feel that intense pain around my wrists, as he held me down. I closed my eyes for a moment, and didn’t open them until he pulled away again. It felt worse that way. Those few inches that he pulled away felt like a wedge being hammered in between the two halves of my soul. I thought I could see some longing in his eyes as well, but I didn’t dare to hope that it was real.

"I forbid you.." He was so close, I could even feel his breath against my ear, and knowing how close he was only made it worse. "..from ever letting me do something like this to you again."

I forced myself to smile, despite the pain. Trying to protect me, how sweet. Thought that sweetness was like torture at the moment. "I always let you do whatever you wish, my Prince, do I not?" You said so yourself earlier. I didn’t want to admit it, but as far as he knew, it was true. Pain mixed with pleasure as he kissed me again, tracing my neck with what might as well have been a branding iron. As he moved down I tied my fists and close my eyes, trying and failing not to twitch at every touch. My heart felt like it was trying to beat its way out of my chest, and if I had been human I knew it wouldn’t have coped, or I might’ve fainted from not being able to breathe.

I opened my eyes as he pulled away again, wanting to scream. I loved that he worried, but I couldn’t stand him pulling away one more time. "No." I sat up, following him. I wasn’t the only one in pain, even if I was supposed to be. All because the spell was created for a demon, and not an incubus.

"Yes," I muttered under my breath as I got onto my knees, reaching out for him.

"No," he repeated. Sorry, but I’m not letting you refuse, even if you do it because you think you’re being kind. "I don't want to hurt you, not like this." His voice was shaking, and he hugged himself like he was cold.

"My Prince." I put my finger tips under his chin, making him look up at me, hoping that somehow he’d understand how much I needed him to stay close to me, that any physical pain was far better than the other pain. "Please. It will help you.. it will make it go away."

I leaned forward, kissing him softly. "Quill, no.."

"Trust me." Let me do this or I really might die. "I will be alright, I promise. Please." I could almost see as the reluctance in his eyes disappeared, and he lay down without saying another word. I repeated what he had done to me, kissing my way down, and then up again and out to his hands, kissing the very tips of his fingers. Everytime my lips touched his skin I took some energy until I finally felt his powers calm down, and it didn’t hurt nearly a much. When I looked up at his face I could see he was struggling to keep his eyes open. “Don’t fall asleep on me now,” I said softly, kissing him deeply and letting my hand slip down his body.

***

He was too cold, his skin feeling like ice against mine as he shivered. I shook him gently, and his eyes were just barely open as he looked at me. “My prince, are you alright?” He didn’t answer, but closed his eyes again, seeming to fall asleep, which only made my worry grow. The pain was gone now, at least, but I had taken too much energy from him, again. “I’m going to take you to your room,” I said silently, not even knowing if he could hear me. I had to get him into his bed, and light a fire to warm him up.

I picked him up, carrying him like one might carry a child, not caring to try to look tired like any human would. I doubted he was conscious anyway. I held him close to me, making myself warmer and at the same time creating new shirts for both of us, in case someone would see us.. Though I wasn’t going to let anyone spot us. I could use my abilities both to listen for other people, and to hide so that they simply passed us by, and it didn’t take me long to get us both back to his room.

Dae was still cold, but at least he wasn’t shivering anymore. I put him down on his bed and pulled the covers up to his chin before turning to the hearth and lighting it with a touch of my hand. Things were easier when I could use my powers as I wanted. I glanced at Dae, feeling worried, guilty and strangely calm. That tearing pain was gone now and I was so relieved that I didn’t even know how to show it. After simply standing and looking at Dae for quite some time I crawled down next to him, holding him against my chest and warming him, while letting myself into his dreams, letting myself pretend that I was dreaming as well.
“Are you looking for sympathy? You'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis”
― Thomas Harris





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Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:40 am
crossroads says...



Aqui Van Aldarean
Queen of Scarthia | Eajra/Scarthia
Day Three

*
Spoiler! :
By the time we reached another clearing, one where we decided to spend the night, there was alredy no proper path to lead on, and we had to walk and lead Leshka instead of riding. It was already dark, but though the air smelled like rain, not a drop of it fell as we settled down.
"I'll keep watch tonight," I said, leaning against a tree. "You should sleep."
"Do you think I trust you that much?" He asked scornfully. He still seemed annoyed about earlier, and had become even more reserved than before.
I sighed, somewhat annoyed by his attitude. "Tell that suit of yours to do its magic again if you wish. I don't carry any weapons, I couldn't hurt you even if I wanted to. You're tired," I added, in a somewhat softer voice. "Maybe you don't think so, but you are."
"I know when I'm tired or not," he muttered, his actions opposing his words as he yawned. "Okay, fine. But no... leeching." He sat down close to Leshka, propping himself against a tree. His clothes stayed the same as they had been all day, but the gloves had disappeared. He wrapped himself in a cloak that had suddenly appeared, and with one last glare at me, closed his eyes.
I watched him for a while, as his breathing changed and he fell asleep, and then turned my eyes to the sky above. I could see no stars, and the wind blowing felt cold against my skin. Perhaps you could use a proper cloak too. I wrapped my arms around my legs and leaned on my knees instead, glaring at Akim and Leshka absentmindedly. His appearance seemed to be changing again, but not as suddenly as the day before. His hair was a bit darker, then turning to black as I looked a few seconds ago. I wondered if I could see that his eyes changed too if they were open - and I wondered what kind of magic it was, and why had he decided to hide it from me. Because he doesn't trust you. I nodded a bit to my inner voice. That was certainly made clear enough times.
My head snapped up again as a lightning flashed across the sky. Seconds later, heavy drops fell over us, making me cold in a few moments. I looked at Akim and Leshka, not surprised to see them both suddenly awake. The silver in his eyes disappeared, and his hair turned lighter again, and I pretended I noticed neither.
"Storm?" He asked shortly, grabbing onto Leshka's reins and scratching behind her ears to calm her down.
Such observation skills. I bit my tongue before saying it. "Yes..I doubt we have anywhere to hide from it now. Do you think we should move on?"
"It's either that or stand here and get soaked anyway." He frowned at Leshka, who was shifting nervously. "Go into that saddlebag and find the bag of sugarlumps, will you? I don't want her bolting." He pointed to the other side of the saddle. "Don't go behind her. She'll kick you."
I got up and listened to him, somewhat surprised by how nicely he asked. For once. It took me a while to dig them out, trying to keep it as closed and protected from the rain as I could, and I walked around Leshka again to hand them over to him. "How long have you two been on each other's side?"
"Quite a few years," he replied, holding out a lump of sugar for Leshka. She took it, seeming to calm down a little. He turned and started to lead down the track we had been following before. "I took her from a Talantarian. He was going to use her for ploughing." He reached back and scratched her nose.
I had a feeling that Talanterian didn't live to see the next day, but didn't realy want to go back to that subject. You're too interested in people killing other people, Aq. I frowned sligtly at the sky as another lightning flashed. I didn't like the idea of walking through the forest in a storm.
"Have we passed the Scarthian border yet?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "From what I remember of the stories, there's a wall, or what's left of it that marks the border." He shook his head, sending water flying around him, but he was soon drenched again. "I haven't seen one before, but I've never been this close."
"I see." I turned silent again.
*


|Day Four
Spoiler! :
It stopped raining after a couple of hours, and the sun was already pretty high on the sky when it decided to show itself behind the clouds. We stopped for a short time again - for him to eat and shoot me suspicious glances as I observed him - before continuing deeper into the forest again. Following him, lost in my thoughts, only after a few hours did I realize we haven't encountered a single living thing for the entire morning. That can't be a good sign.
I stopped, looking up from the ground. The trees were higher here, and one could barely see the sky from them. The ground was hence barely covered in plants, with no sun to reach them, and if I didn't know we had only been walking for a few hours, I'd think it was alredy at least late afternoon. I hadn't noticed any wall along the way, though that didn't mean we didn't pass it - I'd kept staring at the floor, thinking back to my fight with Yetch and the deal with the warden, until now.
"I don't like the silence," I said, keeping my own voice quiet. Judging from the way Leshka was looking around, she didn't like it either. "It doesn't really feel dangerous, but..strange."
"Do you think I like it? You can't hide your footsteps if it's silent." He seemed edgy. "There should be some life, it's a bloody forest."
I lifted an eyebrow at the tone, but didn't comment on it, noticing a path leading between some strange-looking plants. It was partly hidden by the trees around, but still noticable, and I pointed my head in its direction.
"Perhaps there's something along that path."
"What path?" He asked, staring in the same direction. "This isn't a good time to play jokes, little Lady."
"Who's..well that path." I pointed with my finger this time. "Right there, between the trees?"
His eyes followed my finger. "There is absolutely nothing there apart from a perfectly normal space between two trees."
I glared at it for a while, before turning to glare at him. He didn't look like he was joking, so I stepped closer to make sure he could see it from his point of view. His eyes seemed to be looking in right direction, but I hesitatingly poked his cheek with my finger to move it slightly to the right anyway. "There. Path."
He flinched slightly as I touched him, but didnt move away. He blinked, his eyes widening slightly. "That wasn't there two second ago..." Glancing at me, he frowned. "Stop touching me."
I sighed. "I'm not going to use my powers." I removed my finger anyway, crossing my arms. "There. Can we go now?"
"I can't see it again." He frowned. "It might be that you have to touch me for me to see it." It didn't sound like he was very pleased by that fact.
I carefully put my hand on his shoulder, wondering if it would work over the clothes. "Now?"
"Yes." He seemed to relax slightly. "That works, little Lady." He still didn't seem to like me touching him, but it looked like he was making an effort to hide it. Well, I'm sorry. I'm not terribly fond of touching people either.
We walked down the path, him glancing at my hand every so often.
After a while, a wall, or rather the remnants of it appeared in front of us.
"The stories were right after all, little Lady," he said, smiling but trying to hide it. "There's the wall, so beyond it must be Scarthia."
I almost let go of him and ran forward - before realizing he'd find himself in a strange position if I did so - and just smiled instead. "And the Capital right next to the border, to greet and protect the cities within."
"Mmm," he replied, frowning a little, his muscles tense beneath my hand. Our voices were still the only noises breaking the silence. He moved his hand, and suddenly a dagger was in it, spinning in his hand. "The Capital could be dangerous. I heard some mercenaries went to Scarthia, quite a few years ago now, and never came back."
It can't be dangerous, can it? I'm their Queen - and even if I'm not, we're not just any random passangers either.. I bit my lip. "Many went to Scarthia just so they'd never have to go back," I said. "Maybe they found better things to do."
"These guys? Little Lady, they never stayed in one place. They were mercenaries because they had nothing better to do." He tossed the dagger in the air and caught it again.
I shrugged, recalling everything my parents had told me about our kingdom. Our kingdom..my kingdom now. I wasn't sure, now that I was so close, if I was looking forward to finally seeing and ruling my land, or dreading it. I glanced at Akim, still playing with his knife, and wondered how he feels. I knew of legends about Scarthia - I probably knew more legends than the others did, even - and I was pretty sure they could make a person frightened.
"There are many legends about entering the Scarthian Capital," I said, smiling a bit and looking at the path and the forest instead of glaring at him, "but we'll be safe in there, I'm sure."
"Mmm, sure," he muttered, throwing his dagger in the air the highest yet, and catching it just before it pierced his hand. "I'll believe it when I get out of there in one piece, and with my gold." He looked over at me. "Are you really sure you want to do this, little Lady? It'd be a big responsibility being a queen... Especially if you have debt."
I frowned at him, not wanting to answer. Isn't it obvious? Do you think I'd go across a crountry with a random stranger with homicidal tendencies if I wasn't serious? "I've never wanted anything more."
*

I could feel the excitement building in me, like fire spreading through a forest, making my skin tingle. I was thinking of that moment ever since I knew of myself, listening to stories and whispering promises late at night after my mother died - promises that I would find a way to leave the Prison, follow my path back home, and be a real Princess. Back when I was a little girl, I was so sure about my fate that not even mum's sad expressions couldn't set my mind off the course I'd drawn. But then years passed, she died and I was alone, and for over ten years I haven't even met anyone who could speak my language. But now you're here. I smiled to myself, closing my eyes for a second before stepping on the ground of the Capital. The Temples were there, nine Temples of so many legends, guarding the city; eight of them visible for the visitors, and one hidden where no one but a Van Aldaren could find it, watching the back of the Palaca. The closest I'd ever been to them before was when I listened to stories, and when my mother drew maps for me. But you're here now. After all the doubts and troubles, you're home now.
That fire inside of me turned to ashes the second I opened my eyes.

The temple and the palace were still there, both raising towards the skies, their towers standing like proud guardians and their dark windows hiding everything inside from my eyes - but there was nothing else. Where I expected to see streets and squares, I saw rocks and plants, flowers growing from the empty shells of what I would've once called houses. Leaves and branches cracked under my feet as I took a few steps towards the Palace, feeling like in a dream. I walked to it and looked up, sliding my eyes from the towers high in the clouds, over the inscriptions around the portal, finally letting my fingers touch the dark wood. I could feel its warmth under my touch, almost as if it recognised me, and I didn't turn to see if Akim was following me when I walked in.

The hallways were empty too. High ceilings covered them like in a cathedral, built on arcades of pillars and arches. I let my gaze wander over the windows, almost hidden by ivy and roses, barely letting a few rays of sunshine in, thick carpet under my feet and tapestries of once maybe rich colours covering the walls. There was no one there, not even a sign of a living creature anywhere to be seen - and there was silence. Deep, heavy silence, falling on my shoulders and crushing my chest, making my every breath echo and turning my steps into music. This can't be real.
I climbed a set of stairs to my left, hearing Akim's steps following me but not really paying attention, and stopped as I entered another hall.
The walls here were covered in gold, decorated in small leaves and floral ornaments, and the shelves climbing them were covered in objects of various shapes and sizes. Some of them I knew the purpose of - others, all in silver and gold and precious stones, most likely served as nothing but decoration. But I only allowed myself a glance over them, approaching the chair in the middle of the room. It wasn't a throne, though surely looked as one, made from dark red wood and carved with inscriptions in Scarthian, and the man sitting on it - what was left of him - wasn't a king. His fingers, though now nothing but bones, still covered in gloves, even now held a silver quill, though the ink on the paper in front of him turned invisible by the passing of time.
I felt myself shaking as I stood there, looking at him and inhaling the scent of roses, which found their way even up here. It wasn't possible - it couldn't have been possible. Scarthia was the land of arts and inventions, land of life, always taken care of, always full of people in pursue of their dreams. How could it be so silent, so empty, so dead?
I turned to Akim slowly as I heard him moving, looking at him as through some sort of mist. This isn't happening. Please wake me up. I kept my eyes on him, but he didn't wake me up, he didn't do anything to change that picture of the world around me. His eyes flew over the gold and stones, winking from the shadows as the sun would touch them, and the voice of my mother creeped into my mind. The treasures of our land are there for everyone, but it's only on the King or Queen to give it away. One can touch and observe, but not use the gold of our treasury, for the royals of our kingdom always had a gift for curses. Don't forget that. Only you, when one day you become the Queen, will be able to give permission for it to be taken without consequences.
"Take whatever you wish," I said, my voice barely louder than a whisper, my eyes locked on the silver quill and the man holding it. "I owe you nothing anymore."

I lost track of how long I stood there, feeling out of time, unaware if he was saying anything to me. I stood there until the room got shrouded in darkness of the storm outside, and then let myself sink to my knees. I didn't know what to do. I was home, but there was no home. I was the Queen, because I was the only one left, but my kingdom's spirit was lost in dust and ashes. I was as far from the Prison as I could be, yet I'd never felt more trapped, alone in the silence of a fallen world which made my dreams shatter to pieces.
***
• previously ChildOfNowhere
- they/them -
literary fantasy with a fairytale flavour





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Wed Mar 12, 2014 3:20 pm
Auxiira says...



Spoiler! :
Please excuse the melodrama. Ami is my melodrama outlet...


Amalaya Melior - Princess of Merillial | Barqarnon, the Crag - Day Five


Spoiler! :
Every inch of me contaminated by his touch ached as I inched through the corridors, trying to find a place to hide. I ached and I hated Him for what he had done to Saevrie. I had known what would happen, hadn't know that I was such a bad liar. I hadn't done enough to stop Him. I was disgusted by my weakness, my inability to protect those I loved from the one person I was terrified of. Not even the unborn were safe. I took a breath to steady my mind, so that I didn't start bawling like a child in the corridor. It was all too much.

The corridor was hot, and I remembered where I was. The Queen always kept a fire burning in her room, for what reason I didn't know. I think it was a comfort for her, as if she was still where she grew up. I could barely remember Merillial, just vague impressions of sunlight and smiles which left me longing for a home I had only just known. I tried to recall my Father's face, or Thran's, as I pushed open the door to the queen's rooms, bathing in the heat that bellowed through the gap. I felt almost guilty allowing myself to enjoy it when there were people in the town who had no fires, and Saevrie, probably freezing in his cell.

The queen stood in front of her fire, tearing pages with the tips of her fingers.
"You'll get cold standing over there. Come to the fire." She called back to me, without even turning back to look at me. I shouldn't have been surprised. She always knew. I padded into the room quietly, moving to stand next to her before the fire. I watched the shreds of paper tumble from her fingers and into the fire, their edges smouldering before catching, then disappearing into the flames in a few seconds. It was mesmerising.
"Why are you doing that?" I asked silently. She didn't answer for a while, and I wondered if she had heard me over the crackle pop of the fire.
"Sometimes, some words remind you of the things you have lost, the things you don't have. They remind you that there is a world out there, haunting us in our sleep; a world that we can never touch. Sometimes I want to forget; about the children I have had and lost. Children I have both loved and never loved, but both of them are beyond my reach and guidence now." She always had a way of speaking that made me want to offer all my secrets to her. She wasn't my mother, and I knew she wouldn't help me if I made a bad situation for myself, but she soothed the shame.
"It's better not to love, if you're going to lose those you love," I replied quietly, refusing to look anywhere but the flames. The rest of the letter disappeared into the flames and I watched it burn.
"Love is not a choice, my child." I wished she wouldn't call me that. I wasn't her child. My mother was dead, and my father too far away to help. I was no one's child for all it mattered.
"I know..." I rubbed my arms, mottled purple and black. It was worse for Saevrie. So much worse. "But he was hurt because of me... it would've been better if I didn't love him." If I could've chosen not to love him, I would have done. I didn't care for the smile she gave me, though it lit up her face. I was entranced by the fire, burning strongly in the hearth. Its strength was something I could never have.

The queen moved to the nearby carpet, calling me over with a finger. I sat gingerly, wincing. Even the bruises I couldn't see left their traces. The queen moved around and started braiding my hair, her fingers moving gently. After a while, I allowed the gentle touch to calm me.
"When... when we're at Merillial, we'll both be alright, won't we?" The question came unbidden, and I sounded like a frightened child. That's all I really was.
"It will be a pleasant change." That doesn't mean we'll be alright.
"I'm not going to be allowed to stay. I knew that though," I sighed, though I wanted to scream and cry and beg. It wouldn't get me anywhere. "Just escaping reality once every so often has it's consequences." Merillial was my escape. Reality was the King. I couldn't escape it even in Merillial.
"You speak your mind much. You should save your thoughts, they are precious." Silence was the rule that no one broke.
"I know." I went back to watching the flames, entranced again. The heat exuding from the fire was a nice change, almost blistering my skin. A haze danced in the air, but she payed it no heed. Heat made a haze. It was known.

"Amal..." The queen started, but was cut off by a tongue of fire labs hong out towards us. I heard a shout, and then I was pinned underneath her, pain and blistering heat burning its way up my neck and face. I could hear screaming, but didn't realise it was us until I was picked up by the queen and pulled away. I felt faint, and the world passed by in a flash of sound and colours and pain, most of all pain as the fire continued to burn on my skin. There was a change of temperature, but it didn't register past the fire. I could've sworn there were flames licking at all the walls, but somewhere, logic told me that stone didn't burn. Something else reminded me that He had burnt Sae too, and wondered if this was what it was like. A sudden dousing in freezing water dragged me back to the world with a small shriek as I was dumped into the fountain. I managed to look around me and saw the queen floating next to me, burnt and singed as well. My hair hadn't caught, but my skin had, and a large strip of sling on my left side, stretching from my cheek to my waist, was taut and raw, with a muted fire burning just under the surface.


I managed to dunk my face under the water, cooling down the burns there too. Already, the water around me was warming up, bringing less relief than before. I took a deep breath of the frigid air, trying to cool my singed lungs. It hurt to breathe, hurt to move. I could see the queen moving next to me and caught a glimpse of her burnt back, the price of protecting me. Those who protected me got hurt. I knew that. I sat up as servants filed into the courtyard, fussing and twittering, carrying towels and water. They hauled us out of the fountain despite our protests and began patting us down gently, but it just made the burning worse. After suffering it for a few minutes, I pushed them away with a small moan. I didn't want their help. Every time I turned my head, the burning sensation on my neck flared, making me gasp.
The world lurched and swirled as I left the courtyard, despite me hardly moving my shoulder. I didn't know where I was going until I started down the tunnel to the dungeons. It was still dark and still cold, and the air seemed to hold more malice and fear and loss than before. I shivered, slowing down. "I want it guarded dusk till dawn, and if anyone but me approaches it, put them in a dungeon as well." I swallowed. Saevrie made me brave. I did things I would never had thought of doing only a week before. The dungeons were a place I feared, but Saevrie was there. He can't ever kill you. He can't torture you like he did Saevrie. He's done everything to you that he could ever do. Is there a reason to be scared? A ball of anxiety nestled in my stomach and swirled around me. I could already see the guard on the passage. I raised my head, and strode towards him.
"Princess, you are not allowed." I pushed past him, and made it a few meters down the tunnel before he caught me. Without any ceremony, he hauled me down the stone tunnel. Next to Saevrie. Please. Next to Saevrie. I was in luck. He pushed me into the cell, stepping in a dark pool of dried blood as he did so. The door shut with a resolute clang, and the key turned in the lock rustily. Only once the guard was gone did I look in the next cell. They hadn't taken away Bååvteres' corpse, and Saevrie lay against it. I tried hard not to linger on everything that had been done to him. My heart hurt enough already, and my burns throbbed with it.
"Sae, are you awake?" I called softly. He moved infinitesimally, and I knew he was with me. He didn't move much though, and I understood.
"Princess?"His voice was only just there, but I could hear it. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" I could feel a reluctance in his voice, as if he didn't want to talk.
"No. I'm fine" It was a half lie. He hadn't done any lasting damage. I felt better for seeing Saevrie, even though the hurt and pain in his voice hurt her in turn. "How are you? I know it's a stupid question.." I berated myself for asking as soon as the words slipped from my lips. It was impossible for him to be anything but shattered by everything that had happened. "It's all your fault." I winced as he turned his head towards me. He was gritting his teeth, fixing his eyes on me.
“Please, princess. You don’t have to lie to me.” I didn't realise it was that clear in my voice. I watched him, then saw his eyes stray to my cheek and widen. “What did he do to you?” The burning came back in a flush, burning up my arm as I covered my cheek with the same arm. Let him think it's just my cheek. I turned my cheek away so he couldn't see my hand.
“It wasn’t him... It was just the fire. I was too close.” I turned back to him, still cupping my cheek, and watched him. I didn't want him to do anything rash, even though I wasn't sure he could. I caught his tiny movement, and started, scared for him. “Don’t move if it hurts.”
“What..” I saw him twitch, then a wave of pain roll across his face as he tried hard to hide it. "You don’t have to lie to me.” I could say the same to him. Please don't hide your pain, please let me help you. Even though I couldn't. Even though I was the cause of everything. “What fire?”
“The queen’s fire.” I realised he wouldn't understand, and finished on a sorrowful tone. “I was just staying out of the way.”

He suddenly seemed to relax, his eyes drooping shut, a resigned weariness etching his features deeper onto his face. He seemed older, older than anyone I had ever met, and at the same time so terribly young it appeared a mortal crime for him to be so hurt. He had lost the will to fight, I could feel it, see a tiny swirl of resignation above him that broke my heart.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” He asked, forcing his eyes open.
“I’m sure.” No, I will not. Not whilst you're not alright, not whilst He is still alive. Never. “I’m more worried about you. I don’t want to leave you here.” It was my fault, my fault he was there, and my responsibility to help him. I wouldn't have the will to live if he was gone. Losing two people dear to me, even if one had never been born... I wouldn't be able to allow it. I almost whimpered at the thought of the child I had killed, almost let it through, but didn't, once again building walls of swords around the memory.
“Soon I’ll be alright, and that man will not hurt you because of me again.” He was just as bad a liar as me.
“Please, let’s not talk about that. You will get better, and then we will see.” Dreams will keep me alive. “I will go home for my brother’s marriage, and then I will come back to you. I won’t leave you.” I couldn't possibly think of leaving him. Yet I had to go back, and I was already powerless. His eyes slid shut.

“How touching.” Fear swirled around the dungeons at the cold voice. My fear and Saevrie's fear and the old stale fear that permeated the air. I didn't turn away from Savrie, but still bowed my head as I tensed. The throbbing in my arm and up my shoulder returned.
“Your Majesty.”
“No, forget about me. Don’t come back here,” Sae whispered, so quietly I could barely hear him. But I can't do either of those. I could never forget him, and I would have to come back. He took a deep breath and looked at the King just as he motioned for the guards to take me out of my cell. Their hands were rough against my burnt skin, and I bit my lip to stop any sound from escaping my mouth.
“I’m surprised to see you alive.” He wasn't. He had made sure that Saevrie was just on the brink, but that he could still live. I watched the King approach the bars of Saevrie's cell, unable to do anything.
“Kill me,if you have any decency in your body.” His voice was pleading. And there it was. The resignation, and the loss of will to live that I had felt, but denied ever knowing. I couldn't deny it now. I took a deep breath so I didn't cry. His hand clutched Bååvteres’ long fur, desperate like a dying man. Please don't give up. For me, even if it's selfish. I'll never leave you, never hate you, so please don't give up. I wished I could say the words out loud, but was terrified of what would happen.
The King smiled, the smile that came before the pain. “See, I planned to kill you when I walked in here, but you don’t insult the king and expect any kind of mercy after that.” My heart skipped a beat, scared for Saevrie, but also relieved, in a way, that he wasn't going to be killed.
“Is that mercy, or do you simply not have the courage to look me in the eye as you kill me?” I recognised provocation when I heard it, and knew that Saevrie was desperate to die. Please don't... I have to come back, I don't want to be alone...
The King crouched next to Saevrie and I flinched, wanting to start forwards, but still held between the two soldiers. “Is that stupidity, or do you simply want to die so much that you think making me mad would do the trick?” I saw the fury in Saevrie's eyes as the King poked Bååvteres’ corpse. “This will make a lovely carpet. Too bad you won’t be around to see it.”
“Don’t touch him!” I bit back the tears as Saevrie tried to launch himself at the King, but fell back with a scream. The King smirked and backed out of the cell, turning to me. He glanced me up and down, scowling at the burns. It was as if his stare set the fire again, and I trembled slightly with the pain. They mustn't know. Saevrie stirred again, then the shadows crept over his eyes.
“Such shame the last time he sees you is before I get you pretty again.” He grabbed my wrist and started to pull me away. He doesn't like me with the burns, doesn't want me. They can't go. It was a desperate thought that I couldn't act on.
“Cowards, all of you." Saevrie spat venomously. "All the men in this country. Hide behind your magic and your soldiers, you will still only be a pitiful man, like the rest of them.” I saw him searching, trying to find something. “She's different. She doesn't need to hide behind something like a scared child. She's brave and kind, something you will never be.” But I'm not any of that. I may be kind, but that is only from selfishness. And I am in no way brave. I stared at the King's face as he smiled at me a cruel, mocking smile that made me want to hide.
“Brave and kind?” I was scared scared terrified of him, of the smile of his words to come. The trembling had finally returned, bringing the true pain washing over me, making me faint and forcing a whimper through my lips. And the fear, the overwhelming fear that made any thoughts of help a fantasy in make believe world. I stared at his shoes, watched the flames from the torches lick them with their light and felt my burns throb in time. “Come on then, dearie. Let's go and see that bravery of yours.” I saw him gesture to one of the guards, saw a shadow switch hands, but didn't realise what it was until there was the twang of a string and Saevrie's scream. My head shot up to see a bolt embedded in his leg, then he went limp again, like he had been when I arrived. I couldn't hold back the sob that shook me.
"Let's make you pretty again." The King's words cut through me. It was all I was: a pretty face to be used and abused for diplomacy until I died, unable to do or say anything against it. Enough. Enough already. He had let go of my wrist to fire the arrow at Saevrie, and he grabbed it again, the wrong one, the one with the burns. The fire washed up my arm, making me muffle a shriek. Black ink rushed over my vision, and everything roared in my ears. Then it was silent.
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megsug says...



Spoiler! :
Someone needs to post, so I'm posting even though it's a little out of place. Just a warning, this post became incredibly long somewhere during the many times I've worked on this... My apologies :3


Rea - Day 8 - Merillal Castle

Spoiler! :
I'd settled in well at Merillal. It wasn't hard to make the transition from the diplomats and nobles at Eajra to the diplomats and nobles at Merillal. It took me a couple days to see how they ticked, and a few of them I will never understand. A few others I don't want to understand.

I just had to learn who to avoid and who to smile at. Who could melt after a few flutters of the eyelashes and who would react better to witty talk. With Marius' occasional hints which I was always thankful for though I never acknowledged his wisdom with more than a sniff, I had quickly learned my way around the social scene. He was very watchful too. All I wanted was a quick breath of fresh air, and he seemed to be at my elbow.

Unless he was in deep conversation with his brother and left the room... I'd love to be a fly on whatever wall they were whispering in front of now, but since that wouldn't be an option...

I excused myself, blushing as I hinted at one of the baser needs of life. The gentleman was gracious, taking the hint not to offer himself as an escort.

And I was free to take a better look at this castle. Surely Marius was just being overprotective. I was a princess after all. No one would mess with a member of a royal family... Right?

I dismissed the prickle of unease with a scoff and kept turning corners until I was hopelessly, gloriously lost.

I peeked into a hall. Portraits of generations past stared back at me. We had something similar back at home. It seemed deserted and rather boring. I was about to leave when...

Damn it.

Picture frames were the worst. They never wanted to stay in the perfect position, and there was a crooked one, highlighted by the light streaking from the door.

I closed the door for a second, thinking that perhaps I could ignore it this once. I lasted two steps from the door then I was dashing back to fix it. I resented my... issue for the first time I could remember. I thought of how Marius had expressed concern, how I may not be able to work as a diplomat.

I pushed one of the corners up until it was even with the opposite corner and gently- so gently- let it go. If I held my breath and released the frame just so, perhaps it would stay. The portrait gods were not with me because the frame slid back almost to where it was before. Blowing a stray hair out of my face, I pushed it back until it stuck.

There we go.

I stood back, smiling.

"Do you need something, miss?"

I jumped, turning toward the door. "Oh no. I was just looking..." I frowned at another crooked picture. Did anyone care about their things here? "Um... Just looking at the portraits." I moved toward the painting and started the process all again.

I glanced up when she approached. "Would you like some help with that, my lady?" she asked softly.

I liked the way she talked. It was foreign. I couldn't even name what country it came from.

"Um... Yeah." I nodded. Looking around the room, I grimaced. "Actually... It seems like most of these are crooked. "I'll get this wall if you get that one?"

She raised an eyebrow, but it was still friendly. "Sure."

We worked in silence for a few moments, and I finally asked, "Where are you from? I can't place your accent."

She met my eyes for a second before turning her attention to one of the pictures again. "Just here and there, my lady." She was still smiling. "It's hard to name just one place I'd call home."

I grinned. "So you've been all over then? That's want to do. I want to go everywhere, see everything." I sighed. I was always aware that I sounded so cheesy, so naive. I never really cared.

"There are places in the world a lady shouldn't see." She looked like it slipped her tongue, before looking away. "It's easier to travel when one knows there's a home to return to."

I frowned. "I suppose I understand... Even a castle can seem empty with one person missing, and I'd want to come back to my family but..." I shrugged. "One castle gets boring."

She looked like she wanted to say something, but then changed her mind as she looked at me. "If you say so, my lady.. I find this castle quite interesting, though. All the things happening in it.. like this wedding.." She bit her lip, smiling again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't bore you with my rambling."

"Oh no!" I grinned at her. "The wedding is fascinating. It's the reason I'm here, and really, this castle is fantastic. Somehow I slipped out of everyone's sight and have been spending the day looking around." I studied a rather dry looking woman stuck forever petting a ratlike dog. "I guess you get a unique view of the castle as a servant." I smirked. "At home I like to think I've made friends with a good lot of them. I get a lot of news." I giggled. "You wouldn't happen to have any tidbits to share, would you?"

She licked her lips with a playful expression. "Perhaps... Though you seem quite able to find those tidbits yourself, if I may. I'm afraid I might insult you by stating something that you already know about."

I rolled my eyes, liking this maid. "I make do, but it helps to have some ears listening for you." Finishing with the last picture- after the maid, I couldn't help but notice- I smiled at her and refused to look at the wall behind her. I would assume she did everything right and not fix one. I started toward the door. "I don't think I caught your name."

She looked caught by surprise for a second. "Oh.. it's Aqui." She glanced up at my face but then looked down again. "Just Aqui."

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that a Scarthian name?" If it was, maybe she knew some of their folklore, and if she knew that... Maybe... Most probably, I would make her a best friend of a sort. Scarthia had always intrigued me.

She smiled again, still looking surprised. "It is.. I didn't expect anyone to know that." She shrugged. "I had ancestors coming from there."

I nodded, grinning. "I've done quite a bit of reading on Scarthia. I love the legends." I laughed to myself. "If a princess could get away with it, I would spend hours reading them. As it is, I get by with what people tell me." I glanced at her curiously. "Did your parents or whoever tell you stories?"

For a second, she seemed almost sad, or like she wanted to change the topic, but then she nodded a bit. "Yes.." She grinned again. "You know, it helps to know how to read Scarthian. Then you can tell your tutors it's a book on whatever subject, and really read what you like."

My eyes widened. "You can read Scarthian?" I was suddenly very impressed. "That's fantastic! A..." I'd never thought of what to call Marius, now that I thought of it... "Friend has taught me some, but I'm not good at all."

"Has that friend taught you how to speak it as well?" She just looked curious now. "Or understand it?" She bit her lip. "I.. haven't really talked much in it to anyone for quite some years now."

I wrinkled my nose. "I understand it better than I can speak it, and I'm... passable at speaking."

"Then if I kindly ask to hear your name as well, you will know what I said?" She asked in Scarthian, observing me somewhat shyly.

I grinned, estatic. "Yes!" I cried and then switched to Scarthian sheepishly, "My name is Rea. Um..." I tried to summon the words I wanted. "Were you ever in Scarthia?"

That sad expression crossed her face again. "I have.. only shortly, though. There isn't really anyone there anymore."

I nodded. "Yes. That's what I read. Were you young?"

"It was quite recently, actually.. It wasn't what I expected to find there." She sighed slightly. "Do you think there are other people from Scarthia, still alive, somewhere?"

I frowned. "That would be great, wouldn't it? I couldn't really say though... I want to say yes. An entire country and all of its people... can't just disappear." I shook my head. "I wish I could give you a different answer."

She looked down, again biting her lip, nodding slightly. "I suppose, yes.." Her voice was quieter now, and for a moment she seemed lost in thoughts. "I'm sorry," she said as she looked up again, smiling a smile made to hide something else. "I'm afraid I got a bit nostalgic there."

I shrugged. "I don't mind. People tell the best stories that way." I frowned. "Not that that's all that matters. I think talking helps. Nostalgia without an audience is rather dull."

"Perhaps you're right.." She frowned slightly. "You seem to know a lot more things than others your age."

I grinned, pleased with the observation. “I probably do, but we’ve mostly talked about people, and I know the most about people.”

"That's quite a bold statement," she noticed and smiled a little again. "So then, does that mean you can read me like a book?"

I studied her, frowning. “No. I can read quite a few things, but I’m not sure what others mean. I’m good, but I’m not perfect.”

Her smile widened, though she observed me carefully, as if she feared what I might see. "Would you tell me what you can read, then?"

I raised an eyebrow. “Well… Throughout a lot of this conversation you’ve been watching your words carefully. I thought it was because of our differences in status, but you’ve stopped addressing me by ‘my lady’ and all that mess, so I think you’re guarding against saying too much. Too much of what… I cannot say, but it’s certainly intriguing, whatever it may be.”

"Perhaps I'm sent by that friend of yours to see how you'd act," she said with a wry smile. "Or perhaps I would find myself in danger if I spoke too much."

“Mmm…” I considered this new development, pushing another door open curiously. “I’m not sure that’s Marius’ style though I have to say, such a twist would be absolutely novel worthy.” I nodded to myself as I wrinkled my nose at the sight of a harp. I was absolutely terrible at music. I glanced at her as I closed the door behind us, motioning to myself. "Do I really look so scary?"

She eyed the harp as well, smiling slightly. "Not until I remember you're a princess, my lady." She curtsied a little, looking like she's having fun. "You look lovely. But this is a foreign land for me, and castles are terrible places for sharing secrets."

I laughed. "I can't argue with you there. I wouldn't trust anyone here if I had just met them." I shook my head. "Marius told me not to even trust people I've known well for a long time. I'm not very good at that."

"Ah, yes.." she nodded slowly. "Up to a while ago, I would've disagreed, but now.." She shrugged. "I'm not sure if we ever really know anyone we think we know."

I grimaced, not liking where this conversation was going, but curiosity kept me from deftly changing the subject. What kind of maid would have to worry about trust? "I still disagree, not that I tell Marius that. Surely everyone must have one confidante. My every acquaintance isn't watching for a way to bring me down." I sniffed. "I'm not even that important." I tapped a finger against the wall, staring into the distance. "I'm not niave enough to believe that there is no evil in the world, but neither am I jaded enough to think that everyone wears a mask."

"Perhaps you should consider yourself lucky, then." She sounded serious now, and muttered something in Scarthian which I didn't understand. I told myself to remember to look it up later. "I'm sure you are important, more than you think. Or will be, to someone, soon enough."

She sounded so serious, so horribly sure as if the future of not trusting anyone because I was bitter was set in stone. I rolled my eyes, aiming for cute rather than obnoxious though I wasn't sure if I succeeded. "I am important to people. My mother... My brother on occassion. Politically though..." I fluttered my eyelashes. "I'm merely Princess Rea to be kept under my mother's wing and then passed to my husband's." I frowned at the thought of how soon I would be transferred from my comfortable nest to an unknown one. "I'm a bauble to sing and dance or sit quietly in a corner until told to perform again."

I grinned wickedly, having long outgrown ideas of being my own woman... publically anyways. Privately, I would never jump through hoops at another's whim. I would just play the game. Like everyone else. "But you're quite right. I'm very lucky because that puts me in the marvelous position of watching and being underestimated of course. Me being a little girl who's spent her whole life letting others pamper her."

I laughed to hide a wave of worry because I knew I had told too much to this unfamiliar maid I had met ten mintues ago. This wasn't just banter anymore, chatting to pass away the boredom with an entertaining companion. I had just given voice to real feelings, and as much as I loved to talk, I didn't much like giving what I actually thought away for nothing. Not to anyone. Not for free.

I shrugged, suddenly cold. I knew she would notice the difference. Oh well. "And I am pampered. Don't get your little servant heart into a little huff. I'm waited on hand and foot, and I love it, never going to apologize for it. Someone started an ugly rumor that being pampered made girls stupid though, and I'm not stupid." I smiled easily again. "Of course, everyone doesn't think that, but enough to make me get a little agitated from time to time." I shook my head, trying to make her think I was laughing at myself for my little rant.

She blinked, looking at me as if she wasn't sure if I was done. "I don't think anyone with a brain can think you're stupid," she said then, looking down again as another maid appeared and quickly walked passed us. When she spoke again, she wasn't talking in Scarthian anymore. "I'm sorry, my lady. I don't think you deserve being underestimated, but it's not on me to say. I crossed the line already."

"I don't care about lines. It's okay." I picked at my sleeve. "I was a few years younger the last time I threw that fit." I pulled a face. "You probably think I'm a brat. Me complaining about being seen as stupid while you sweep and clean and..." I peered at what looked to be a suspiciously grey cranny in the bookshelf to one side of the wall. "Dust."

"I haven't been a maid for a long time," she confessed. "Only since I got to this kingdom."

I watched her carefully. "What did you beforehand?" I asked pleasantly.

She pretended to think for a while. "I was a princess," she grinned. "But then I had to leave my kingdom and hide, and now I'm just waiting for the perfect moment to act and perfect person to help me get my crown back."

I blinked and laughed hesitantly. Was she serious? "Sounds exciting," I teased, deciding that it must've been a joke. Surely.

"It definitely is.." She was still smiling. "Looks like I'm in right time, with all the royals around, but I'm afraid I can't tell who the right person is."

I frowned. She couldn't be... "You're serious?"

She stepped closer again. "What would you do if I am, my lady?" she whispered in Scarthian.

I studied her eyes. They were serious. Gods, she was serious. "I..." What would- was I going to do? "Um..." I smiled slowly, suddenly deciding I would match her playful tone, "I would say that maybe I was the right person."

She observed me, suspicious for a moment. "And you would help me just like that? What if my crown was one of a country which is an enemy to yours?"

I wondered how much of this was still speculation and how close we were to making a deal. "I suppose..." I leaned closer. "It would all depend on what I'd get in return."

She laughed. "Well, perhaps--" She turned serious, stepping away from me and looking down again, as two men approached from behind a corner.

I took several steps back, sitting at the harp. Plucking a few strings, I turned around to smile at Marius. I stood and gave King Megarus a deep curtsy. "Your Majesty, Lord Marius." I sat back down as Lord Marius bowed and the King did not.

"Do you play?"

"I... um..." I plucked a string. "Dabble." I studied the two men with a coy smile. Marius would have looked distracted if I didn't know him. Megarus... Well, I didn't know him well enough to know what was going on beneath the smile. "But I'm awful," I admitted willingly. "I'm sure you two are happy to see each other again," I decided on what I hoped was an innocent topic.

"Depends if you see us as a king and his advisor, or as a king and his little brother," Marius said and the king smirked.

"Indeed.. both have something to say, but the advisor knows when to shut up."

I looked from one face to the other, laughing to hide my growing nervousness. That wasn't the answer I had been expecting. "As a younger sibling myself, I can sympathize with poor Lord Marius here. Words can be hard to swallow when you remember being in the nursery with the heir or in your case, I suppose, the King."

"Your poor Lord Marius could go all day doing nothing, while all the rules and lectures kept me company," Megarus noticed, "and he still wanted to run away most of the time."

Marius raised his arms in surrender, walking closer to me. "I'm afraid you're the only one who understands my troubles, Princess."

"Ah..." My eyes narrowed. I had stumbled into a fix I wasn't sure how to navigate. Their relationship was on worse footing than I had thought. "Of course, Lord Marius. That isn't to say King Megarus' troubles should be scoffed at. I would think it' would be hard to listen to the advice of one's younger sibling." I smiled at Megarus, wondering if there was an excuse I could use to extract myself from this situation.

Megarus looked from me to Marius and back. "You were right, Mary, she is a very charming young lady. And a good apprentice, as much as I see, though I like that less.. One of you is more than enough." He walked past us, putting a hand on his shoulder shortly. "I want to discuss some details later."

Marius nodded, looking slightly worried as his brother turned to leave and the maid followed him. She glanced at me before leaving, seeming reluctant for a moment, then smiled once more and disappeared in one of the hallways.

I got up from the harp then, smirking at Marius as the tension in the room dissipated. "That was certainly interesting."

He laughed a bit. "Well, now that I think about it, I'm glad you weren't there to see us as children. Little brother Mary tended to be quite an idiot, you wouldn't believe I'm that kid."

I tried to imagine Marius as a child, and when that failed I decided not even to try to think of him as an idiotic child. "You're right." I laughed. "I can't believe it. All kids are stupid though."

"Indeed..if only tutors allowed them to be stupid while they can." He turned serious, only to smirk again after a moment. "As for me being an idiot, I'm sure quite a few people would gladly tell you about those days."

I raised an eyebrow. "I must find these people. I do love a good story."

"You should ask Brek, then," he muttered. "If anyone can make me feel like a kid again, it's him." He glanced around. "But don't exactly tell him I said that, or he'll never stop doing it."

"I wouldn't dream of stopping either way." Brek smirked at Marius as he appeared in the doorway, before he turned toward me and bowed. "Princess."

I curtsied. "Lord Elgan. We should have a conversation soon, so I can learn all about Marius as a kid." I grinned.

"There is nothing I would like more."

"Oh, I'm sure there is." Marius was still grinning. "Too bad I'm not ten anymore, or that might happen as well."

I blinked. What in the world could that mean?

Brek narrowed his eyes. "I was having an off day, and you know it."

"Of course you were," Marius said flatly, looking like he's struggling to keep serious, before turning to me. "We were sparring earlier."

"And that's as far as that story needs to go." Brek said briskly, clearing his throat.

I tried not to look too curious, but it was hard, probably too hard. I wouldn't be surprised if they could tell. "I've heard a lot about you, Lord Elgan. Lord Marius has a lot of good things to say."

"That's good to hear." He nodded, smiling gently. "I've got plenty of good things to say about him as well..." He smirked at Mar. "But the unflattering stories are so much more interesting to tell."

I nodded a bit more enthusiastically than I should have. "Always."

"Now, if we're playing that game.." Marius bowed at him a bit. "I suppose the host has the right to start."

"I'm not sure how safe this game is to play...but very well."

I was very glad he hadn't decided safety was very concerning.

He glanced at me a moment, hestiating. "Hm...well, has Lord Angroth ever told you about getting himself getting locked in the armory when he was a lad?"

I looked at Marius inquisitively. "No. Never." I smiled.

He ran his hand over his face. "Oh dear.. alright. Fair enough, that did happen. Only because my tutor at the time failed to mention I wouldn't be able to open the door again if I let them close."

I laughed, perhaps louder than I should have, but I couldn't help it. "Was your tutor with you?"

"Of course he wasn't." He seemed to be starting to regret agreeing to that storytelling. "Supposed to be, perhaps, but I was rarely - if ever - at the same place as my tutor at the times I was expected to be."

Giggling, I asked, enjoying making him spell it out, "You were hiding from your tutor?"

He gave Lord Elgan a just wait look before answering. "From my tutor, my assistants, my men, my brother.. Armoury seemed like a nice place." He smiled a mischieveous smile.

I put a hand over my mouth, grinning. He sounded pretty normal then. "I hid in broom closets," I admitted. I thought a moment before adding with a smirk, "I never got locked in one though."

They both grinned at that, and Marius crossed his arms, looking between us. "Alright..two against one. Touche, Princess. Allow me to add, while at it, it took them quite a while to find me there. Some like to say it took long enough that that's when I developed my style."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm certainly glad I can't say the same. I wouldn't want to be known for my talent with the feather dustster."

Marius laughed. "Well luckily I was supposed to be able to handle those weapons anyway."

I grinned at them both and glanced at the clock now ringing the hour, my eyebrows rising. "Oh dear... I only meant to be gone a few minutes. I'm sure the young lord I left thinks I'm sick." I shrugged unapologetically at Marius' inquisitive gaze. "I wanted to explore. You had disappeared, so I made the best excuse I could think of in the moment."

He shook his head. "Perhaps you should try to think of excuses that don't come with time limits."

I laughed as I backed out of the room. "Where's your sense of fun..." The pet name King Megarus used popped back into my head, and my lips twitched. "...Mary?" I skipped out the door, not waiting on a reply.

I returned a few moments later, looking sheepish. "Er... I may need a guide back though."
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Auxiira says...



Spoiler! :
I'm just going to skip over day four. Imagine she did the same, helping sort the tournament. Also, @ShadowVyper has the rest of this post and she ca post it ^^


Ludiv Hawkins | Bodyguard of Thranack
Merillial Castle | Day Five


Spoiler! :
I had expected to have a calm day yesterday. And I had got what I wished for, which had surprised me, knowing Thranack. Then I had found out why. Running away from the guards when he was out in the town was pretty normal, but he had been with Master Daerys! When the marriage was so close as well. He hadn't changed one bit from when I had become his guard. I smiled at the memory.

Thranack walked through the door of Sir Brekyr’s office, looking uncertain, hesitating in the doorway.
“Come on.” Brek waved him in.
He walked in, shutting the door behind him, looking between us uncertainly, before his gaze rested on Brek.
“What’s going on?”
“You ran your Guard off...again.” Brek said tersely. I bobbed my head slightly.
And didn't they look annoyed when they got back. I don't think that I've actually heard a good word about you since I came to the barracks, my Prince.
Thranack smirked. “Oh, yeah, that...”
“Yes, that.” Brek agreed, looking at the Prince flatly. I glanced up at him too.
It isn't really something to be proud of. “I trust you won’t do so with this one?”
“We’ll see.” The Prince looked at me critically.
“You won’t.” Brek rephrased. I frowned slightly.
"I won't let him, Sir." I wasn't like my brothers. He wouldn't get rid of me
that easily.
“We’ll see.” The Prince repeated, smirking again.
Brek sighed. “This is Ludiv Hawkins, your new guard. Play nice, boy.”
“I remember her.” The Prince answered.
I remember you too. I'm not that easy to tease anymore. I stood and bowed.
"Nice to meet you, my
Prince.
“Yeah, you too-- likewise.” He looked uncomfortable under Brek’s glare, and bowed slightly. I smiled a little.
I'm not someone to be afraid of, really.
“...You’ll do.” The Prince examined me, then nodded. “But you’ll have to loosen up.” I jerked my head up and looked at him then over at Brekyr.
"Loosen up, my Prince?"
“Yeah. I don’t... do all that politically correct stuff--”
“Or much of anything correct.” Brek interjected.
Thran glared at him, but continued. “So you’d better learn to just go with the flow, and be relaxed.”
Like when I was a kid...but I've grown up now, and you should too.
I sighed. "I'll try, my Prince, but I don't really... 'do' your side of things either."
“Hm...pity, I thought you looked fun.” Thran lifted a shoulder.
"My brothers thought that too. Then they fought me." I raised a shoulder as well. "Maybe I'm fun and just haven't realised it yet, my Prince."
Thran opened his mouth to say something, glaring.
“Oh yes, you two will get along marvelously.” Brek grinned, striding to the door and opening. “Now, go bond, or kill each other, or something. I’ve got work to do.”
I nodded and gestured for Thranack to go through the door.
“Fine by me.” Thranack walked past me, into the hall, and started to the barrack’s door, never slowing, never looking back.
I see... I caught up with him and matched his pace. But two can play at that game. I followed him silently. If this is a game of wills, then I refuse to lose.

“How long have you been in the Guard?” Thranack asked after a long pause.
"Four years, since training, my Prince." I nodded slightly.
Only four years... It's been thirteen since Father died. I fingered the pommel of my sword gently as I surveyed the grounds, watching for anyone.
“Hm...” He looked around too, then started toward the stable briskly. “Then I’m sure you’ve heard of me. I’m not as bad as half the soldiers claim.”
That has yet to be proven.
"I think that I'll trust Sir Brekyr's opinion, my Prince."
He stopped short and turned around quickly as I stopped too. “And just what is that?”
"Need to know information, my Prince. I believe we were going to the stables. Did you want to go for a ride?"
He narrowed his eyes. “I need to know. What does Brek say about me?”
"Give me one
very good reason and I might tell you, my Prince." I rested my hands on my hips and glared up at him. You don't intimidate me, not after Sir Brekyr.
“I’m the prince.” My lips twitched upwards.
"You're also a hooligan, a loud-mouth and Gods knows what else, if I listen to the canteen talk, my Prince." I hadn't even said some of the worse names. "Try again, your
Highness."
“What else?” He drew himself up. “I’m not a god, but I fancy I know. Let’s see...I’m a fighter..."
"When you're meant to be keeping the peace." I muttered quietly.
“Naw.” He shook his head. “There are people that are diplomatic and nice. I’m the person who reminds people that Merillial won’t put up with their shit. That
I won’t put up with any shit.”
"And
I'm here to remind you that Sir Brekyr doesn't actually like cleaning up your messes, my Prince." I smiled up at him.
“Well whoop-de-f*cking-doo.” He turned and stomped off again.


We had both been different then. I had been stiffer, and he had been more prone to insults. Though he only just kept that in check. I felt his eyes on me and decided that another pair of arms couldn't hurt at all. The field didn't seem as big as it was meant to as I strode across it. "Would it be possible for you to help instead of look, sir?"
'What?" He shook his head, seeming to clear it. "Oh, yeah. Sure."
He cast his gaze around then picked up a large crate. I saw the twinge flit across his face though he tried to hide it. I shouldn't have asked him to help. He's still hurt. "Where does this go?"
"That..." I had known two seconds ago. Before I had become worried. "I'm sure it goes somewhere..." I stretched up, remembering that he was quite a bit taller than me. Piles of striped cloth sat inside the crate. "Canvas..." A group of men stood near the stands and I pointed to them. "Take it to them. They should know what to do with it. Hopefully." Just so I could have the time to clear my head. I couldn't concentrate thinking that he was hurt.
"Okay." I started towards the men, shaking his head slightly again. I realised that I had ordered him over there, like I would do to one of my men and winced. He didn't like being told what to do. I watched him talk to the men for a few seconds as they talked to him and took the crate, then turned back to the pile of wood and cloth and everything we needed for the tournament. I had just picked up a box, trying my best to ignore the pain that shot up my arm from my fingers, when I saw Sir Brekyr marching across the field out of the corner of my eye. His barely restrained anger could be felt from across the grass, and everyone gave him a wide berth. I quickly dropped the box just as he called me.

"Hawkins!" Hawkins, not Ludi or Ludiv. I could have been less stressed if he hadn't been out for my guts too.
"Coming, sir!" I preferred to run across the field than take my time and make him angrier. I saw him put a hand on the crate Thranack had picked up, making him drop it quickly, then say something that had the Prince blanching. I stopped next to them and glanced between the two faces, one furious, but holding it in in front of witnesses, the other trying to hide the fear. Thranack straightened then started towards the barracks. I let the apprehension get to me and asked in a quiet voice.
"Sir? Is my presence necessary?
"Oh, yes, very necessary." Brek snarled, glaring at me. I felt like a rabbit under the glare of a snow tiger. Helpless. "Move."
"Yes, sir." My voice came out higher than normal. I hated the furious Brekyr. It wasn't the person I knew best. I was just a coward with this Brek.

He pushed Thranack towards the barracks before striding along himself. It didn't take long before we reached his office, and I flinched as the key snicked in the lock. The door swung inwards and Lord Elgan shoved Thranack inside. The door slammed shut behind me.
"You scrawny little bastard." He stalked towards Thranack, glaring daggers. "What could possibly possess you to go into town with the Princess of Barqarnon, without a f*cking guard?"
"She said she didn't want--"
"She didn't say that she didn't want a guard." His fist connected with Thranack's face and I flinched. Brekyr was out to hurt, not to teach. "That's a Thran move through and through." The prince's back slammed against the wall.
"I didn't think--"
"That's quite obvious." I could see the pain on Thranack's face as he fell over Brek's chair and hit the floor, narrowly missing the cabinet. "So why did you do that, Thranack? Hm? Why?"

It was painfully clear that there was no way for Thran to fight back as he stumbled to his feet. "She wanted to see the birds."
"Your guard wouldn't have stopped that." I agreed with Brek, but I couldn't bear Thranack being hurt.
"They were at the carriage, and Lierre wanted to walk--"
"Then you wait for you f*cking guard!" Brek snarled, pushing Thran again. He hit the cabinet with a low curse. It wasn't hard to guess that he had hit his arm.
"I will next time."
"Damn right, you will. Next time you'll be taking me with you, you f*cking little idiot." I flinched as Brek's fist connected with Thran's gut, doubling him over. He can't take much more of this... He's already taken one beating. "I'll babysit you on your date if that's what you want."

I stepped forwards as he raised his fist again. "Sir, plea-"
"I would think long and hard before I got in the middle of this, Ludiv." I flinched under the glare he gave me. "You're in plenty of trouble of your own."
Stop being a coward, Hawkins. I swallowed. "I know I'm at fault too. But he isn't in a state to be beaten up."
"I've never laid a hand on you, outside training." He jabbed my chest and I froze. "But I can f*cking promise you that that's about to change, if you don't move your f*cking ass this instant." Even if he said that, I couldn't move. Fucking coward. I was pushed just out of Brek's line of sight by Thran, who straightened up painfully.
"Oh, look who's finally decided to be a man about this." Brek pushed me further away, grabbing Thran by his collar. My hand throbbed painfully."It's about time." Thran blocked the incoming blow with his right arm and I saw pain ripple across his face. The expletive which followed confirmed that the cut had been hit. He cradled his arm to his chest. Enough.

Brek shoved him to one side again and he tripped over a stool. As he slipped to the ground, I vented my frustration on the stool and shredded pulp littered the floor. Thran flinched and Brek spun to me, pointing. "You are on your last f*cking chance, Hawkins." Thranack had managed to stand up and backed against the wall as Brekyr came after him. He protected his head as the fist swung towards him and didn't see Brek falter. Blood had coated Thran's hand and covered his sleeve. Lord Elgan stared at it for a long moment until the Prince dropped his arms.

"What happened?"
"I..."
"Don't lie to me, boy."
"Well..." He looked up at Brek apprehensively. "The man you got that dagger from..." It was easier than saying that he had been stabbed.
"The gods damn it all." I watched Brekyr carefully as he stalked away a few steps then turned back."You got yourself stabbed? Really? Really? It's less than a week before your wedding, and you go and get yourself stabbed. Good move." He started pacing and I relaxed very slightly. "Did you really need to get into that fight?"
"Yes."
"What?" He stopped and stared at Thranack sharply. I couldn't see his expression from where I was, but Thran's said it all.
"I tried to ignore them, and then I tried walking away from them, but they just wouldn't stop. I didn't throw the first punch, and they wouldn't let me walk away after they did. I had no choice."
"No, you had a choice-- take your guard, or get yourself stabbed. Which did you choose, though..."
"I f*cked up." He accepted, giving in. "I know I did. I should have taken a guard."
"But you didn't."
"No."
"What do you think would've happened to Lierre, if you hadn't managed to win, Thran?" His quiet voice was scarier than his shout. "Surely they weren't indifferent to her being there?"
Thran shook his slowly. This was Brek trying to find out what happened, Brek driving the point home. "No."
"What if they would've tried to stab her?"
"He did."
"What?" I wouldn't have liked to be either Thran or the man who had tried to kill the Princess.
"He did try to stab Lierre. So I tackled him, and then he stabbed me."
"Oh good lord." Brek put his hand to his forehead. "Is she okay?"
"She's fine. I made sure of that first thing."

Brek sighed, rubbing his face. Silence reigned in the room for a few moments which stretched out. He started to stiffen again, a sign of anger. He pointed at Thranack. "You, sit."
He quickly complied, sitting in front of Brek's desk. He pointed at me and my stomach plunged. "You." I could feel the colour drain from my face.
"...Sir?"
"Why would you possibly let this happen?" His glare was fixed on me now, and all I did was babble. It wasn't a question of wanting Thran to get hurt.
"Sir, I was trying to--"
"Not that." He waved back at Thran vaguely. "That was just an aftertaste, from you letting idiot and his little girl friend go into town alone. You know better than that."
Staring at my feet seemed a much better idea than meeting his glare right now. "I know, Sir," I mumbled, unsure of what I was meant to say. "But...it was just... I didn't know what to do to change their minds."
"You're not a diplomat, you're a bodyguard. Your job isn't to change their minds-- it's to keep them safe." And how am I meant to do that when Thran doesn't want to, and the Princess looks like she's been hit if you refuse her?
"I'm also human, Sir," I muttered rebelliously, finally glancing up. I regretted the words as soon as I said them. It wasn't an excuse and it wasn't how I really felt about it.

His glare told me he wasn't impressed and didn't give a damn, especially right now. "And your humanity could've cost your Prince his life. What then? You think that 'I'm only human' would appease the King, if that blade would've missed Thran's arm?"
"No, Sir, but-" I couldn't help it. I had never been able to back down easily, and it had gotten me into trouble more times than I could count as a kid.
"But what, Ludiv? What defense do you think you have? 'Only human' won't cut it. Your father was human too, and he never would've let this happen." I flinched. Brek knew that it was the best way to drag me back into line. Even though I wanted to follow in his footsteps, being compared to my father hurt.
"Yes, Sir." My voice came out as just a whisper.

"Good." His glare faded as he stared at me for a long while before shaking his head and rubbing his face. He turned to Thranack. "I trust that neither of you will let this happen again?"
"It won't."
"No, sir, I won't."
"Good...Ludiv, you may go." Lord Elgan walked away from me, focusing on Thranack.
"Sir." It was an effort not to drag my feet as I shut the door quietly.
You read faster than Usaine Bolt sprints xD - Deanie 2014

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Shady says...



Thranack Melior- Day Three- Merillial

Spoiler! :
As soon as I got to my room I threw everyone out, and collapsed on the stool, feeling a bit faint. I carefully pulled my soggy sleeve up, glad that I wore a dark green tunic, so the blood wasn't very visible on it. I breathed heavily, suddenly exhausted, as I untied the rag wrapped tightly around the wound. It gaped open, and started bleeding again as I watched it.

I awkwardly pulled my tunic off, holding my forearm over the wash basin. I poured water over the wound, gently cleansing it, my arm trembling slightly. It took several tries before I was able to properly clean it-- it hurting me too badly at first, forcing me to stop.

I dipped a clean rag in the clean water, wiping myself down quickly, holding my injured arm over the basin so that the blood didn't make a mess. I looked at myself in the mirror, sighing. I was battered to pieces. My chest and torso were spotted with bruises, a large bruise already appearing around the gash on my arm.

Let's hope I heal before the wedding. I knew it wasn't likely.

I wrapped a small towel around my arm tightly and slid on a clean, dark colored tunic, rolling the sleeve up before I removed the towel. I stared at the cut another long moment, wondering how I was ever going to bandage it.

A few minutes, and a few failed attempts, later, I gave up. "James!"

There was no answer.

"James!" I bellowed.

Another attendant, a small, blond girl who was trembling. "I'm sorry, My Liege. J-James can't come. C-Can I help you?"

I sighed. There was nothing like a frail little girl trembling to make a man feel like an ass. "Is Ludi out there yet?"

"Yes, My Prince."

"Send her in...please."

"Yes, sir."

She disappeared. A few moments later, Ludi walked in, looking at me uncertainly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I lied.

"I heard you grunting, My Prince."

I flushed, wondering how loudly I'd been whimpering. "Well...just give me a hand with this."

She frowned as she stepped forward and took my arm. "It's deeper than I thought."

"It's not as bad as it looks." I said dismissively. It actually hurts far, far worse than it looks, to be perfectly honest. "Just bandage it up, please."

"You should go to the physicians."

"I'm not going." I said firmly. "Are you going to help me, or not?"

She pressed her mouth into a hard line, but tightly wrapped my arm once more with clean bandages, making it stop bleeding. I looked at is as she let go, and nodded, sweating with the effort it took not to yelp as she did so. "Right..you'd better wrap and extra bandage around it, just to make sure it doesn't leak." Silently she did so.

I nodded to her when she'd finished, silently thanking her, as I wiped the sweat from my brow and turned towards the door. Breathing a bit too heavily I walked through the door and start towards the Dining Hall, but stopped myself and started toward Lierre's room instead.

I knocked on the door. No answer. I frowned and knocked louder. "Lierre?"

I waited for several long moments, before knocking a third time, fear grasping at my throat. "Lierre? Are you alright?"

What if something happened to her? I knew that she'd made it back to her room okay-- Ludi would've told me if there'd been a problem-- but...What if she slipped and hurt herself...or someone hid in her room, or--

The door opened.

"Lierre! I thought you-- you." I glared as I saw Dae standing in front of me. It's not good enough that you've got to steal her attention at meals, and when we're in public-- but now you're stealing her attention in private, too? Dae never could let me have nice things. He always got jealous. Always wanted to talk to my friends, and play with my toys, and generally make a nuisance of himself. "What are you doing here?"

"Talking to my sister." He answered simply, his face impassive. I felt like punching him. My fiancee. "I'll bring her to lunch."

He started to close the door. I threw my foot between it and the stop. F*ck you. She's my almost-wife. There's no possible reason why you should be the man to take her to lunch. Something wasn't right. "Wait. Is she alright?"

He lifted an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't she be?"

Why would you be in her room? I felt another prick of fear run through me. What if Lierre had told Dae of what we'd done? Of what I'd done? Worse yet, what if Dae told Brek?

Dae smirked.

I glared at him. It was always so hard to tell with Dae. He was hard to read. I wasn't, and I knew it. Dae made a game of, when we were very little boys, pretending to know things about me, so that I'd ask what he knew, and, invariably, end up admitting to something that he didn't know. I'd caught on to the game. It wasn't going to work, this time.

"Try not being late this time."

Dae nodded. "Coming from you, the expert in the field, that advice better be taken."

I glared at him. I'm not concerned about either of us being late, but the princess has a reputation to think of...besides, you don't need to be late when you're with my wife. You need to give it up, and let me have her, asshole. I threw my hand out to catch the door as Dae tried to close it on me again. Something was definitely wrong. "Can I speak to Lierre?"

"...No. Let her rest a bit."

"You are in her room." I snapped, trying not to let myself get angry. Dae had a knack for pissing me off-- fast. Something I was trying to put an end to...but then, he'd-- Stand in my almost-wife's godsdamned bedroom, and then say that I'm f*cking bothering her. "Perhaps you should let her rest too."

And get the f*ck away from her.

"It's a pretty bird you bought her." I blinked, slightly dazed. I didn't give two hoots in hell about that godsdamned bird. He seemed to be missing the bigger picture, here-- and that wasn't like Dae. No doubt, something was wrong. "I bet I know where it came from. Did you say hello for me?"

I glared at him flatly. Nevermind. That was very much like Dae-- bringing up age old stabs, from something I'd done when we were children. Never could drop anything. He grinned. I started to tell him to drop his f*cking games and get out of my way-- when Lierre appeared next to him, and he frowned.

"I'm alright, thank you." Lierre said sweetly, smiling at me. One of those fake smiles, but not quite as fake as it could've been. I felt a pressure like a heavy weight lift off my chest. Lierre was okay. She was still talking to Dae, not me-- but she was okay. And she was a grown woman. She could speak to whomever she wished.

Dae wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Now you know that, can you please leave us to talk?"

I didn't stop him as he shut the door in my face, but I didn't move for a long time, either. I just stood, staring at the ancient wooden door.

"My Prince."

I shook my head to clear it, and turned to look at Ludi. "Yeah?"

"Perhaps we should go?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."

I turned and forced myself down the hallway.
~~

"You f*cking bastard." Someone caught my tunic and slammed me into the wall.

I didn't have to see his face. "What the hell, Brek?"

"Good question. What. The. Hell?" He stopped glaring at me to nod to Ludi. "Hello Ludi, sweetheart."

"Hello, sir."

He turned his glare back on me. "What the f*ck were you thinking? I'll tell you what. You weren't thinking!"

"What are you even talking about?" I half-shouted, trying to keep my voice at least a little bit quiet. I didn't want anyone seeing me like this-- half-standing, half-being held up by Brek, who had a fistful of my tunic and was pinning me against the wall. I knew what he was angry about. What I didn't know, was who had told him.

Brek stabbed the wall, mere inches from my head, with a dagger. My eyes flicked to it-- and my stomach sank. I recognized that dagger. I'd stopped it from slicing my throat, using my arm, not too long ago. "F*ck."

"Oh, you recognize it, do you?" Brek was glaring into my eyes.

"A bit."

"A bit..." Brek repeated. "You little prick. What happened?"

"I..." I couldn't very well tell him what happened. I wondered how much he already knew.

He slammed me into the wall again. "What. Happened?"

"I took Lierre to the bird shop...and...some idiots jumped us on our way back to the palace."

"And you took care of it?"

"As a matter of fact--"

"Why not your guards?"

My stomach sank even further.

"Hm? Why not, Thranack? Why didn't your guards take care of it?"

I frowned.

"Because you didn't have them, did you?"

"I..."

"Did you?"

"No!"

"So can you tell me what it is that could've possibly made you think, even for a second, that it would be okay to Barqarnon's princess into the city, without a f*cking guard?"

"Someone's going to hear you." I hissed, as his voice raised. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and glanced over his shoulders. No one was paying attention to us, yet-- but that didn't mean that we wouldn't attract attention soon.

"If you weren't the prince..." Brek's finger was in my face. "I would give you the beating of your life, right here and now."

I wet my lips. "If I weren't the prince, I wouldn't have such an important fiancee to worry about."

Brek glowered at me. "This isn't finished, My Prince. Not by a long shot. You enjoy your meal-- I want to talk to you later."

He turned loose of my tunic, snatching the dagger out of the wall, and nodded to Ludi. "Ludiv." He turned on his heel and stormed outside. I stared after him a moment, before tugging my tunic straight, and swallowing hard.

"My Prince, you--"

"Are dead f*cking meat." I didn't wait for her to finish whatever she was going to say. I walked into the dining hall, as Father walked in the other door. I walked over to my chair without acknowledging him, and started to sit down. I hesitated as the doors opened again, and Dae and Lierre walked in.

I stood again and pulled Lierre's chair out, as Dae took his seat on her other side. I'm surprised you didn't try to take your father's place. I pushed her seat in, glaring at the back of Dae's head. You're certainly arrogant enough...superfluous enough...

I took my seat, glared at Dae a moment, then, as he only glared at his plate, I glared at mine as well. I was slightly aware that Lierre was glancing between the two of us, shifting uncomfortably-- but not caring. I had bigger things to worry about, at the moment. The one I was most concerned about stood a few inches taller than I did, and liked beating the hell out of me.

"Well, at least we're not arguing any more." Father said a bit uncomfortably, clearing his throat. "That's something, right?"

"I apologize," Dae suddenly muttered, standing up quickly. "I'm afraid I don't feel particularly well... I would like to excuse myself, if I may."

“You should go see the physician, perhaps." Father suggested.

Dae nodded, and left the room. I barely glanced after him. Maybe I should go to the physicians...I don't feel so well...and, maybe, if I go...Just maybe, Brek would take mercy. I wet my lips and glanced at Lierre. It's not like she got hurt...

I knew it was a lie, even as I told myself that. 'I'd give you the beating of your life, right here and now' Brek's words echoed in my ears. The crowd was the only thing that saved me before. I was in serious trouble, the instant Brek caught me without witnesses around.

I glanced at Lierre again. She seemed so tiny and terrified. I wanted to make her more comfortable. While I'm still alive and wel--...well, while I'm still alive to do it. I hesitated, trying to think of something that wouldn't make her terribly uncomfortable. “...Did that bird make it to your room okay?”

“Oh, yes, he’s in his cage." She smiled a bit. One of her fake smiles. Are you still scared? I really didn't mean for you to be attacked. That wasn't part of my plan of showing off the city. “He wouldn’t fly out even though I opened it.. So I suppose he likes it.”

I smiled at her, one of my fake ones as well. I couldn't quite make myself truly smile. Not with Brek's promise of a beating looming over me.

“I hope you didn’t get into any trouble?” Her voice was a whisper.

“I…” I hesitated. I couldn't very well tell her that I was in for a thrashing. I shook my head, smiling at her, as I lied. “Nah, not too much..."

Not enough for me to get put under house arrest. "We can go again, whenever you like.” I laid my arm across my lap, trying to arrange it so that it would stop throbbing. “But...maybe with a better guard?”

“Yes, I’d like that. There’s this flower shop..” She trailed off. Yes, I know the one. We can go there. “But I’m sure you’d rather go somewhere else. Maybe you could show me your favorite places?”

There's not a chance I'm taking a young woman-- a princess, even-- to the places I visit.

“I like the flower shop.” I grinned at her, but, when she seemed uncomfortable, started thinking. Well, yes...I suppose it would be my turn to choose...I wouldn't like having to choose all the time either... “...Or...I could take you…”

I trailed off and looked away. Stupid ideas.

She giggled at me. “Tell me, I want to get to know you.”

I grinned at her, excited that she sounded sincere. Suddenly I remembered Father was around. I glanced at him and lowered my voice so no one but she could hear me. “We could get you a dagger. You said you wanted one, and I know this neat little shop-- then I could take you out to my fief, and I could teach you how to use it. Would you like that?”

There was a long silence before she murmured that she would. I endured the rest of the meal, only speaking when Father specifically addressed me-- my mind too preoccupied with Brek and his threat to think of anything else to talk about.

Day Four

We walked in silence, practically in the middle of the road, attracting far more attention than either of us wanted. I wasn't quite sure how he'd managed to do it, but Dae convinced me to go back into town. I glared at the nearest gawkers. If I wanted the attention, I would've stayed in the palace. If Brek weren't pissed at me, that is...

Suddenly Dae grabbed my arm and pulled me into a tavern. I looked up, startled. I frequented taverns, but I never figured Dae would humble himself so far as to go into a common tavern. I glanced up at the sign above the bar. Not even one of the good taverns. Meh, we'll be in a fight within the hour. I sighed.

Dae sat down at one of the tables and looked back at his guards, all of whom looked ruffled and not at all happy about our sudden decision to enter the tavern. I nearly grinned. Sometimes Dae could be fun.

"I wonder if Brek is more concerned we might get hurt by someone else or that we might hurt each other," Dae muttered.

"Probably a little of both." I glanced back at him, laying my arm across my lap, being careful of the cut. "Us being hit seems to bother him either way, whether we're hitting each other or being hit by strangers."

"Then what's the point of guards, if it's the same if you run into some criminals or if I beat you up back in the castle?"

"Pff, in your dreams, maybe."

Seeing he was distrated, I followed his gaze... to a flock of the bar girls, all of whom were flirting. I blinked. He definitely wasn't acting how I expected. He turned back to me and smiled. "I'm tired of the guards. We should get rid of them."

"Yeah." I nearly groaned as I glanced at the guards, all of whom were ordering themselves drinks. My beating was going to be bad enough already, without Brek getting word of me ditching the guards with an Angroth for the second time in two days. Still. "I'm game if you are."

Dae narrowed his eyes at me. "You, Sir, are engaged. To my sister, at that." He took a sip of his drink then slammed it back on the table. Oh, look, he does remember."You're staying here and keeping that image." He got up, playing with his hair, as he walked toward the girls. I frowned, trying to understand what he meant.

"Whaa--?" I felt my face getting red as I finally understood what he meant. I had no intention of ditching the guards for a girl. I wanted to ditch the girls too. I sank down in my seat muttering, "I didn't see them."

Dae smirked at me then smiled at the girls. "Ladies."

"Your Highness," one of them muttered, and the others performed not-quite-ladylike bows.

"Mm.. do tell. Would you be as kind as to do me a favour?" Dae pulled out a bag of coins. I rolled my eyes. Why in the hell did you bring me if you just came to get laid? "How generous of you. Now, I'm sure you know of my friend, your Prince, and his engagements, yes? See, we went out today to remember the days when we were kids, abut also to celebrate the engagements - however, the places we wish to visit... We can't really take them there." He nodded toward the guards. "And it feels so wrong to leave them all alone." His smile broadened. "If you'd be as kind as to keep them company while we're gone, I would-- we would much appreciate it."

Dae kept leaning against the bar as they took the coins and, giggling, headed toward the men, soon enveloping them. I sat staring, slightly dazed. I'd never thought of using whores to get rid of the guards before. I met Dae's gaze as he nodded toward the door. I was on my feet in an instant, carefully moving toward the exit, glancing at the guards, unable to believe that we were really going to get away that easily.

I grinned at Dae as soon as we were outside. Genius. "Where do you want to go?"

"Wherever," He shrugged, rubbing his wrist, frowning. "We could leave the city. I always wanted to visit the Academy of magic."

I felt my stomach sink. That was a bad idea. I flexed my left hand, only barely able to feel my fingers. Brek would kill me, maybe literally, if he learned we left the city. I glanced up at Dae. He was watching me. I couldn't very well argue without looking like a coward. I frowned. "Uh..yeah, sure, why not?"

He shrugged and turned down the road, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, frowning. He glanced at me. "We might not want to look completely prince-like if we don't want to attract too much attention."

"Yeah." I jerked the the laces of my collar open and awkardly started trying to roll my own sleeves up. It didn't work well. My fingers were sluggish, and, without being able to feel them, it made it difficult to force them to obey. I sighed irritably, hating myself, knowing what I'd have to do. "My hand still doesn't work properly."

"You really got lucky," Dae muttered as he took my sleeve and roughly began rolling it up. I could've swore he was purposefully gouging my stitches. "If anything happened to Lierre..."

"I'm a lot more concerned about Lierre than any threats you want to think up," I muttered, not in the mood to listen to his stupid threats. I wasn't scared of him. I just wished he would stop being so rough. I was having to focus very hard on not flinching.

I focused on his hands rather than my arm. His wrists were bruised, distinct finger marks appearing. I frowned, my eyes snapping up to his face."What happened to your wrists?"

He glanced down at them quickly. Guiltily. He shook his head. "Nothing." He grimaced as he pressed against the marks, seeming to struggle to say impassive. "Doesn't matter, let's go."

"No, tell me." I wasn't going to let it go that easily. I glared at him. "You always want to know what happens when I hurt my-- when I get hurt. What happened to you?"

"No, I always figure what happened to you, because you never really make it a challenge to find out." He looked at his hands again. A moment later he relented. "I had..a fight, of a sort.. nothing serious. I'll survive."

"Fine, then...I'll figure it out if you don't want to tell me." I started to cross my arms, then remembered I couldn't with my stitches. "What do you want with the Academy of magic anyway?"

"I'm just curious. Merillial is today the only country with such a place, I think. There maybe used to be one in Baqarnon, and surely some in Scarthia, but those were gone before or during the War.." He looked up at me as we were walking. "Have you ever been there?"

"No." I shook my head. I hoped I didn't look too uncomfortable. I hated magic with a passion-- and I'd avoided the Academy like the plague. "I...never really saw much..I mean... I guess I just didn't have the inclination at the right moment."

"Mm... Magic is an interesting thing."

If by interesting you mean awful and uncomfortable, then yes, yes it is. "It's less interesting than it is frustrating, when you don't have any."

"Are you jealous of them?" Dae smirked, but then sobered quickly."In Barqarnon, magic is more common among the people in the streets...Or so I've read."

"Jealous..." I repeated slowly. I'd never considered being jealous before. I just hated people who had it-- I didn't envy them. "I'm not sure it's jealousy, so much as...resentment." I frowned, staring at the ground. "I don't want it; at least not most of the time. But I don't like that so many other people have it...I can only fight so much. With magic, though...they can do...more."

"Lierre can do magic," he informed me. I know. "So can Father, but he wasn't born with his, he learned it. I never saw any books on magic in the castle's library here."

"I know." I muttered, even though I didn't, and glared harder. I didn't realize it was possible to learn magic. I'd need to talk to Brek about that... Not that he'll actually let me learn. He'll say I'm too reckless. I shook my head, trying to clear it, then glanced back at his wrists. Dae had a knack of avoiding my questions. "I haven't either... I don't think we have any... books."

We walked on several more moments, neither of us saying a word. I had a lot to think about-- primarily, how I was going to explain myself to Brek. He oversaw the Academy, too. They'd send word that we came to visit, most likely. Even if he didn't, I was still about to go to the place in Merillial that I hated more than any other place. More than I even hated Brek's office, where I always got my worst beatings.

"Do you think your sister and I will be allowed to return to our homes as you and Lierre get married?" Dae asked suddenly.

"Uh..." I frowned. I didn't quite know. Before thoughts of Brek, and the beating he was going to give me, occupied my every waking thought I'd been wondering about that question a lot myself. "I don't know. I hope so."

"Want to get rid of me?" Dae smirked.

"Yep," I answered, not knowing myself how much of that statement was true. I didn't hate Dae as much as I told him, and everyone else, that I did. Yet I couldn't quite bring myself to think of him as a friend. I lifted a shoulder. "I guess we'll see."

Day Five

I watched Ludi as she helped organize the tourny that would celebrate my wedding. A frown was fixed on her face even though she seemed happy. I wish I could be happy again...Wish it could be like before-- no worries. Running off, so that Ludi would chase me... After a while she came over to me. "Would it be possible for you to help instead of look, sir?"

'What?" I shook my head, trying to clear it. Bad. "Oh, yeah. Sure."

I glanced around, and picked up a heavy-looking crate nearby. A twinge of pain ran up my entire arm. I tried not to cringe. "Where does this go?"

"That..." Her frown deepened and she looked slightly puzzled. "I'm sure it goes somewhere..." She muttered, stretching up slightly to look inside. "Canvas..." She turned and pointed to a group of men next to the stands, which were almost complete. "Take it to them. They should know what to do with it. Hopefully."

"Okay." I turned toward the men she gestured at. I really shouldn't be taking orders from her... I shook my head slightly. She knows where this needs to go. I don't. It's not taking orders, it's getting guidance. I walked up on the men. "Uh...here are some canvases..."

"I'm busy." One of them snarled, never glancing up at me.

"Well what am I supposed to do with them?" I narrowed my eyes. I'm damn sure not standing here holding it.

"I don't give a damn. You can shove them--" The man stopped short as turned around and saw me, his eyes wide. He bowed and quickly took the crate. "I...they...I'll take them, Prince. Thank you."

"Hm." I frowned at him. "Well, what else needs done?"

"Ah...I think we've got it covered."

Good. My arm hurts anyway.

"Fine by--" I turned and saw Brek coming toward me, glaring. I turned back towards the men and quickly grabbed a crate. "I would really like to help you. Where does this box go?"

"Prince." Brek said sharply. "I would like to have a word with you."

"Of course, Lord Elgan, though I'm trying to help--" I met his gaze and stopped short. "Now?"

"Right now." He agreed icily, before turning his head. "Hawkins!"

"Coming, sir!"

I glanced at her a moment, as she sprinted toward us-- but my attention was quickly called back to Brek, as he put a hand on the box in my hands. "Put the crate down."

I quickly put the crate down. Brek stepped back and waved an arm toward the barracks. "After you, Prince."

Oh, shit... I was hoping there'd be witnesses, when I faced Brek. My beatings were always so much worse when they were in private than they were when they were masked as a sparring lesson. "Yes, sir."

I stepped around him, carefully trying to edge out of arm's reach. Ludi was there, looking between Brek and I cautiously. I wet my lips and straightened my shoulders, as I started toward the barracks.

"Sir? Is my presence necessary?" Ludi asked tentatively, glancing at Brek.

"Oh, yes, very necessary." Brek snarled, fixing her in a death glare. "Move."

"Yes, sir." She said, paling slightly, her voice slightly high.

Brek put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a slight push. I swallowed hard and walked toward the barracks. As we got to them, I didn't even try to hold the door open for Ludi. Brek was more angry at me than he was her, I was certain, and I had no qualms about her walking between us.

I climbed the stairs, never glancing behind me, hesitating just outside Brek's office. Brek stepped in front of us and produced a key, quickly turning it in the lock and pushing the door open. As soon as it was open, he grabbed my arm and pushed me inside roughly.

"You scrawny little bastard." He snarled, as he slammed the door shut after Ludi, and started toward me. "What could possibly possess you to go into town with the Princess of Barqarnon, without a f*cking guard?"

"She said she didn't want--"

"She didn't say that she didn't want a guard." I tried to duck out of the way as his fist flew toward my face, but I wasn't fast enough. "That's a Thran move through and through."

He grabbed my tunic and slammed me into the wall.

"I didn't think--"

"That's quite obvious." He interrupted, pushing me toward his desk. I tripped over his chair, falling on my face. I nearly hit my left arm on the corner of his file cabinet, but managed to save it at the last moment. My whole body hurt. And he's just getting started. "So why did you do that, Thranack? Hm? Why?"

I stumbled to my feet, falling against the wall. "She wanted to see the birds."

"Your guard wouldn't have stopped that."

"They were at the carriage, and Lierre wanted to walk--"

"Then you wait for you f*cking guard!" Brek snarled, giving me another push. This time I did hit my arm on his file cabinet, and cursed under my breath, as a sharp pain ran through my arm, nearly immobilizing it.

"I will next time."

"Damn right, you will. Next time you'll be taking me with you, you f*cking little idiot." He hit me again, this time in the gut, stealing every bit of air I had in me. I gasped, half-bent over. "I'll babysit you on your date if that's what you want."

Ludi started forwards, stepping between me and Brek. "Sir, plea-"

"I would think long and hard before I got in the middle of this, Ludiv." He glowered down at her. "You're in plenty of trouble of your own."

She swallowed but didn't step back. "I know I'm at fault too. But he isn't in a state to be beaten up."

"I've never laid a hand on you, outside training." Brek said, jabbing his finger in Ludi's chest. "But I can f*cking promise you that that's about to change, if you don't move your f*cking ass this instant."

No...no, Ludi, don't get yourself beat up over this. I swallowed hard, still not quite able to catch my breath, but gave her a push, making her stumble to the side. I forced myself to straighten.

"Oh, look who's finally decided to be a man about this." Brek gave Ludi another push to the side with his forearm, and then stepped forward and grabbed my collar. "It's about time."

He brought his hand down over my head. I instinctively threw my forearm up in a block. His forearm struck mine, and I felt the gash in my arm break open once more.

"F*ck!" I jerked my arm close to my chest, wrapping my right hand around it, the bandages suddenly warm.

Brek grabbed the shoulder of my tunic and threw me to the side again. I tripped over a small stool, and sprawled across the ground. Brek was coming after me. Suddenly the stool exploded into a thousand tiny slivers of wood. I hesitated, more scared of the explosion than in pain.

Brek whirled around and pointed his finger at Ludi. "You are on your last f*cking chance, Hawkins."

I scrambled to my feet, edging away from him.

"...Sir?"

"Why would you possibly let this happen?" He walked toward her, glaring.

"Sir, I was trying to--"

"Not that." He gestured at me carelessly. "That was just an aftertaste, from you letting idiot and his little girl friend go into town alone. You know better than that."

She stared at her feet, still slightly pale. "I know, Sir," she mumbled, seeming to loose the confidence she had had a few minutes ago. "But...it was just... I didn't know what to do to change their minds."

"You're not a diplomat, you're a bodyguard. Your job isn't to change their minds-- it's to keep them safe."

"I'm also human, Sir." She muttered, so quietly I could hardly hear her.

He stared at her hard a long moment, jaw hard. "And your humanity could've cost your Prince his life. What then? You think that 'I'm only human' would appease the King, if that blade would've missed Thran's arm?"

"No, Sir, but-"

"But what, Ludiv? What defense do you think you have?" He looked at her hard. "'Only human' won't cut it. Your father was human too, and he never would've let this happen." She flinched.

"Yes, Sir." She whispered.

"Good." His anger seemed to subside a bit, as he looked at her a long, strained moment. He shook his head, seeming to clear it, and rubbed his face as he turned towards me. "I trust that neither of you will let this happen again?"

"It won't." I assured him. I felt like an ass for letting Lierre get that near to being hurt; and for getting Ludi in trouble.

"No, sir, I won't." Ludi answered quietly.

"Good...Ludiv, you may go." Brek stopped just behind his desk. I looked up at him carefully. He didn't seem mad, but then...I couldn't be sure.

"Sir." Ludi, reluctantly, left the room, closing the door behind her gently.

I fixed my gaze on a blemish on the desk in front of me, and kept it there, until Brek's legs came into my line of vision. I looked up as he leaned against his desk. He looked down at me a long moment before he spoke.

"Stop looking at me like that."

I frowned a moment, not sure how to answer. What to think.

"I just want to see your arm."

I looked at him suspiciously. I could imagine the awful things he might do to my arm. Put some burning herbs in it. Re-bandage it too tightly. Poke it with something. Put a hot iron it. Worse, send me to the physicians again.

"Arm." He insisted, reaching his hand out.

I carefully held my arm out. He slowly peeled the sleeve back, and unwrapped the bandage. He looked at the gash in my arm a long moment, before pulling the bandage all the way off and wrapping my arm in a new one.

"You should have the physicians look at that."

"Yeah..." I frowned at him again. I thought he was mad at me. It didn't make any sense, him patching me up now.

"I won't make you." Brek lifted a shoulder as he carried the dirty bandages to his trash can. "I know you don't like magic, or doctors, and that's not deep enough to be too worried about...but I wouldn't want a hole run through my arm, especially not if my wedding was as near as yours."

I nodded. I wasn't going. "Okay."

"Now you'd...best hang around the barracks or the training ground today." Brek said. "Unless you want to go to the physicians, that is...?"

So you can babysit me...very well. I suppose I deserve that.

"I'll be in my room." I answered. For now at least, so I can change.

"Very well." Brek inclined his head.

I walked out of his office. Ludi was leaning against the wall next to the door, her eyes closed. As I shut the door, she opened her eyes and looked at me. They were red-rimmed, and she looked like she was trying not to cry. I'd never seen her cry before. Stop that. You're making me feel worse. "Aw, Ludes..." I hesitated. I wasn't good at comforting people. I knew I wasn't. Everyone knew that I wasn't. "It's...it'll be okay."

"I know, sir," she replied, trying to smile. She didn't sound convinced, though, and kept glancing at Brek's door as if she was scared of it.

"Did he hurt you?" I frowned. Did I? I'd been trying to be gentle, but, then, I'd wanted to get her out from between us. I'd never seen Brek hit a woman, and I highly doubted he ever would-- but then...I didn't often see him as angry as he was.

"No, he didn't hurt me, sir." Her eyes flicked down to her hands as she wrapped one around the other, hiding her right one. She didn't meet my eyes as she looked back up, and I could tell she wasn't telling the whole truth.

"Hmph." I narrowed my eyes. "Then why are you holding your fingers like that?"

"My fingers?" She glanced down at them again guiltily. "I just felt like doing so, sir." She was almost as bad liar as me and you could hear it in her voice.

"Don't lie to me." Hypocrite. "Let me see." She looked up at me, then hesitantly let go of her hand for me to see. Two of her finger were bruised and swollen.

I frowned at them. They were obviously broken. "When did this happen?"

She was staring at Brek's door again. "When we fought in town... But it's fine really, sir. If I leave it be it'll heal in its own time."

"You should go to the physicians." Hypocrite. I couldn't make myself stop.

"I'm not the only one, sir." She replied, nodding at my arm.

I glared at her. That's dirty. "I'm fine."

She glared back and crossed her arms carefully, being just as stubborn as I was. "And so am I, my Prince."

"You're..." You're not. I grit my teeth. I wasn't either. "You're going to the..." 'Don't order her around like a dog.' I sighed, looking at her flatly. "If I go, will you?"

She smiled slightly, then nodded. "Yes, my Prince."

"I hate you..." I muttered under my breath. Leave it to a woman to get you in the physician's office. "Very well, then. Might as well get it over with. You ready?"

She nodded, unfolding her arms. "Whenever you are, sir."

"Let's go then."

"Didn't Lord Elgan say to stay around the barracks, sir? He normally does when..." She trailed off. I knew what she meant anyway. Whenever you do something stupid.

"Yeah..." I glared at his door. "Fine. I'll tell him."

I carefully approached the rough wooden door and knocked.

"Intrude." Brek's voice from within.

I turned the handle and gave the door a push, carefully staying out of the office. My eyes flicked around his office, and then landed on him, sitting behind his desk. I frowned again. Ambush. I only barely resisted the urge to go on defense.

"...Yes?"

I wet my lips. "Uh...Ludi and I are...going...back to the palace--"

"Thranack." Brek interrupted, sighing loudly.

"She needs...and I...the..."

"Who needs what?"

Ludi needs the physicians. I hesitated. I didn't want to tell Brek that, not only did I nearly get my fiancee hurt, I got Ludi hurt too. I don't want Ludi to be hurt at all. Brek lifted his eyebrows. "I need.."

"Need...?" Brek prompted again.

"Physicians..." I stared at him a long moment, an awkward silence rising between us as he stared back. "Don't judge me!"

He smirked a moment, but then looked serious again and dipped his head. "Very well. Straight to the physicians and straight back."

"Oka--... Straight to the physicians, then to the kitchens, then back?"

Brek rolled his eyes.

"I'm hungry." I complained.

He sighed. "Very well. Don't be long."

I nodded and shut his door. I glanced at Ludi. She looked at the door then back at me.

"Shall we go then, sir?" She asked in a subdued voice.

"Yeah." I muttered gruffly, glancing down the hall past her. I wasn't happy about me having to go to the physicians. Obstinate....bullheaded...obnoxious little...brat. I glared at her out of the corner of my eyes. I don't see why I have to go to the physicians, before you'll get your hand looked at. It's absurd.

As we left the barracks, she glanced up at me curiously. "Why do you dislike the physicians so much, sir? I can understand not going for something small, but when you're really hurt..." She frowned.

I sighed and did my best to cross my arms without hurting my already throbbing arm. Because going to them indicates an inability to deal with pain, and lack of pain tolerance is weakness. I don't show weakness. I couldn't very well tell her that. "I...don't like magic...or medicine...or their smug comments about me finally being there."

"But still, sir... though I have no space to talk." She shook her head, her hair flying in a halo as she glanced at her hand, her brow furrowed slightly. "This is like the pot calling the kettle black."

"No." Yes...I can't admit she's right, though. "I'm older...and...a man and--" I cowered backward as her eyes snapped up to my face fiercely. Wrong thing to say. "And...well, dammit, I don't care. We'll be black together, if that's what it takes to get you to get your fingers healed." I glared at my arm. "Though you don't hate magic so much as I do...and they don't gloat as much with you."

"I like magic, sir, but having other people mess around inside me with their magic is an entirely different matter." She rubbed her arm a little, chewing on her lip. "And one of the physicians has taken it upon herself to nag me every time I go."

"I bet I know which one." I snorted. Rowa. She was a short, stoutly woman with gray hair, who adored harassing everyone who had the misfortune of ending up in her examination room. The one who thought that she could nag me like a mother might, and could get away with it, because she was so old.

"Mmm. I imagine everyone does, my Prince." She frowned at me as I tried to hold the door for her and winced a little as we walked down the corridor. "When I was... nine, I broke my arm... playing with some other children, but didn't go to the physicians until Brek found out. That was about four days later."

I smirked. "Brek is such an old mother hen, when it comes to going to the physicians."

She sobered slightly. "Yes, sir... always and not just for going to the physicians."

"Yeah..." I sighed softly. She pushed open the door to the physicians' rooms, looking slightly apprehensive. The rooms were as clean and plain as usual. Rowa had her back turned to us. I looked around quickly, almost frantically, looking for someone else to talk to, before she could latch on to us. I spotted a small, frail looking assistant doing some paperwork in the corner. I took a step toward her desk, when I heard crisp voice behind me.

"Prince Thranack."

I stopped, closing my eyes a moment before I turned around. "Ms. Rowa."

"What a surprise, seeing you here." I looked at her impassively, as she smirked. The gods damn you, stop gloating.

"Yeah."

"What can I do for you today?" Her thin smile. No.

"...Captain Hawkins needs her hand attended to." I stepped back. Ludi glared at me.

"Ah, Captain Hawkins. What have you broken this time?" She was smirking at her now. Ludi didn't reply, just holding out her hand. Rowa looked at it and sighed. "How many days did you leave them?"

"...Three." She muttered, glaring at Rowa as if to dare her to complain. Rowa shook her head and pointed to the nearest curtain. Ludi went behind it, throwing me one last look before she disappeared.

"Sit," came Rowa's curt order followed by rustling. I heard Ludi say something, but couldn't tell what. "No, you aren't. You know very well what happens when you don't come straight away. Now, be a good girl and sit still."

There was a moment of silence, then I heard the crack of a bone being broken, a muffled cry, then Ludi's voice. "Rowa, what are yo-" There was another crack and a low whimper this time.

"Maybe you'll come right away next time, Miss I'll-walk-around-with-unset-broken-bones-for-three-days. Arms or fingers, they don't heal properly unless they're set. I seem to remember saying the same thing the last time." Rowa's voice sounded smug.

I heard Ludi hiss, then mutter something unintelligible, and Rowa laughed.
"Of course I won't teach you how to set bones. You shouldn't be breaking them in the first place. Now, be a good girl and run along now. I'm not going to waste my magic on your fingers when other people who actually appreciate being patched up may come along."

"...Thank you," came Ludi's reluctant reply as she came out from behind the curtain. She was pale, but her fingers were bound together with a bandage. She glared at me resentfully, nursing her hand gingerly.

I swallowed hard as Rowa's gaze landed on my arm. "And what did you do to yourself this time?"

Ludi is already healed...I don't actually have-- "Noth-"

"Our Prince was stabbed," Ludi replied for me.

I hate you.

"Let's see it, then." Rowa pushed me into her examination room, and began taking the bandage off my arm. "How bad is it?"

"Not very--"

"Hush." She ordered, as she frowned at it, then muttered under her breath. "I swear...you both..."

"It's not that-- what are you doing?" She pulled out a needle that was about eight inches long, and began threading it.

"You need stitches, my Prince."

"No, I do-- godsdammit!" I grit my teeth as she stabbed me anyway.

"Now hold still, unless you want me to make this crooked."

"I want you to get that...motherf*cking needle...away from me." I growled through clenched teeth.

"Stop being a baby."

"Stop assaulting my...arm. It hurts bad enough...as it...is." I clenched my fist.

"If you would just relax your arm--"

"I could relax it better if it wasn't getting stabbed by a f*cking needle!"

"My Prince?" Ludi's voice came from the other side of the curtain.

"I'm a little busy right now." I sulked, glaring at Rowa. "She's stabbing me with needles and laughing about it."

"She broke my fingers again, sir. You're being a child."

I slid down in the chair and glared straight ahead, sulking. "You're being a child, making me come here just so that you'd come."

"I didn't need to come, sir. Brek opened up your wound again."

"So I guess that means Brek and Rowa are the children, huh?" I glared at Rowa. She smirked.

"No, my Prince, we are the adults that are trying to care for the children."

"Adults die too suddenly and leave children alone, Rowa. Children learn to fend for themselves."

I nearly yelped as Rowa sank the needle far too deep. "Ow, ow, ow, shut up, Ludi. Shut up. She's sewing my flesh to my bone, now."

"I'm sure she isn't, sir. Your bones are solid. It would take a very strong needle."

"You haven't seen this needle."

"Hush." Rowa tied off the thread. "That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

"It was horrible."

She wiped my arm with a clean rag. "Baby."

"Meanie."

She rolled her eyes as she wrapped my arm in a fresh bandage. "Go on, then."

I stood up and quickly walked out of her office, and looked at Ludi. "What?"

"I made less fuss when I was nine, sir." She was smiling slightly.

"I did too." Then I learned that if you whine, they leave you alone faster. "Let's go." She nodded, and we left the physicians' rooms, heading for the kitchens.

"When was the last time you were ever given anything for pain, sir?" Ludi asked, glaring at her hand.

"...When I was nine." I smirked at her.

"Brek and her decided never to let me have any."

"When I was little I got my shoulder dislocated. Brek bet me that I couldn't get it reset without crying, if I didn't get pain medicine...I accepted his bet, and won-- and then they decided that I didn't really need it, and stopped giving it to me."

"They said it was my fault and choice to get hurt, so I should accept the consequences."

"Hm...."

That definitely sounded like something Brek and Rowa would say. Actually, it was something that each of them had said to me, at different times. I lifted a shoulder, hungrier than I was interested in talking.

"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus
"From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf
"A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni
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Alvarin says...



Jonquille | Merillial | Day Four

His dreams had been pleasant at first, for quite some time, but then as the sun started creeping up over the horizon they gradually started to change. Normal castle life and a beautiful summer day changed into a battlefield, the ground sleek with blood and the sky burning like it was on fire. Darkness was creeping up on him as his father approached, sword in hand.

They duelled, Dae getting increasingly desperate as he couldn't move his sword arm properly, his every movement becoming slower and slower until he could hardly move at all. My prince was afraid now, frightened with such an intensity that I could feel it in the dreamed up air. It didn't take more than a gentle push for Megarus to knock Dae to the ground.

As I hugged Dae tighter in real life it made him feel like he couldn't move, and as I felt his fear increasing even further I decided I should intervene, turn it into something nice instead, but I stopped when I saw myself appear next to him. I hadn't put myself in his dream as I usually did, and I hadn't yet affected anything that he was feeling. Maybe I don't need to do anything. Maybe his image of me will save him?

I was rudely disappointed. The dream me approached him with a reassuring smile, and as he asked for help the dream me nodded.. But then started turning into something completely inhuman. Why is he dreaming this? By now I could have changed the dream, but I no longer wanted to. I dreaded the direction it was taking, but I needed to watch it. The monster that the dream me turned into reminded me a lot of my own true shape, so much so that I had to wonder if Dae somehow - even subconsciously - knew what I was. A simple shadow, that somehow seemed to burn and move like a fire, but that spread nothing but chilling cold, rushing towards Dae and sucking the life out of everything it touched. As much as Dae had been afraid before, it didn't quite compare to how afraid he was now. His heartbeat had quickened up to the point where I could feel it through his skin, and his dream was flickering as the fear was about to wake him up. No.. I won't let you wake up like this, not from a dream where I'm the one who kills you.

I changed it, quickly, turning the monster towards the smirking Megarus and absorbing his energy until he fell down dead into the mud. The dream stopped flickering, but Dae was still terrified. I made the monster turn back into the shape of me and then let myself completely replace it.

"Are you alright, my prince?" I didn't even need to force my face to look worried. I hadn't expected his dream to get to me as it did, and I quickly realized it was his reaction to the monster, rather than the monster itself that caused that feeling of unease that I had to push back so that it wouldn't affect his dream. "I killed him. You don't need to be afraid."

He just looked at me for a moment, staying on the ground as if something froze him there, and then pushed himself up, not taking his eyes off of mine and shaking his head slightly. "No.. You.." His eyes darted towards the sword that Megarus had dropped, only for a second before turning to me again. "What are you? You tried to do that to me."

I would never hurt him - at least not badly - and I would certainly not try to kill him. That he didn't know this, even if it was just a dream, hurt. It hurt like I was laying a foundation under Dae, and he was stepping on my fingers. I knew that I shouldn't have acted up before, but surely he understood that I wasn't actually like that? Yes, you are. You are every little bit like that monster, and worse.

I simply shook my head. "I would never hurt you." I kneeled down in the mud. I wouldn't have done something like that in the real world, but now I was practically speaking to his subconscious, and I needed him to trust me. "I might be big and scary, but that's how all guard dogs are." Pathetic. Actually calling yourself a dog in front of a human. It's a new low even for you. "But I am loyal to you, and no one else." It was quite taxing to keep my voice so soft while at the same time feeling like I was stomping on my pride. Pathetic. "When there is no danger around I'm not scary, but simply your.." I hesitated, the word getting caught in my throat for a moment, and only came out as a pleading whisper. "..pet."

He kept watching me silently. His breathing and heartbeats were slowly calming down, but he was still pale and scared, even though not as much as before. "How can I know you won't turn like that again?" He sounded younger than his age, and I could feel he's not as much afraid of the possibility of it happening again, as much as he was of my possible answers. "...How can I know I won't get hurt?"

I sighed quietly as I went even further down, with my elbows sinking down in the filth, resting my head on the back of my hands. It was the lowest bow I had ever made, in any purpose. "Because I am yours[i]. I will kill anyone who stands in your way - slaughter whole armies if I have to. I will take any hit for you. I will give my own life for yours if need be.. And all I ask for in return is your trust.." I pulled up slightly, meeting his eyes and staring down into them, clawing my way inside as far as possible. "..and occasionally a small sign of kindness. Do that for me and command me like you would any trained dog. Please, master.. Trust me." The initial resistance I had to those words was wearing thin, and I found it easier to grovel than before. [i]Keep this up and you will truly be a dog.

Moving slowly, as if he still expected someone to attack him, he carefully held out his hand, then frowned slightly and pulled it back. With a somewhat conflicted expression - nothing one could observe on his face out of a dream - he sunk to his knees as well.
"I do," he said simply. "I will.." His lips curled into a tiny smile as he glanced towards where Megarus last stood. "You saved me, after all."

"I always will."

With that I pulled out of his dream and let him wake up, loosening my arms around him a bit so that he'd think I was still asleep. The fear he had felt in that dream wasn't completely gone, and I was curious how he'd act if he thought I wasn't watching. I knew that if he realized I was awake he'd just try to act like he wasn't feeling anything. If he was ever going to show me any true sign of affection, it'd have to after one of his nightmares.

He stirred a little, but then calmed down again, as if he didn't want to wake me up. The next moment I felt his lips brushing against mine, and I had to resist the urge to kiss him back and steal a bit of energy. I took plenty yesterday. He pulled away a bit, both from my lips and my arms, but didn't get up. I could hear him taking something from the nightstand, and felt the familiar cold touch of the blade against my neck. So much for a sign of affection. It hurt a little.. The action, not the blade. Couldn't he just have kissed me and smiled, or something like that? Keep on wishing. You're nothing to him. I kept still, and made sure my breathing was deeper and calmer than that of an awake human, still wanting to see what he would do, even if it wasn't anything good. He pressed his lips against mine again, the pressure from the blade increasing as well, until it reached the point where it started to become painful.

As he pulled away again I slowly opened my eyes, making sure to look drowsy and slightly confused before letting my expression turn more alert, wrapping my fingers around his wrist but not trying to pull it away. "Good morning to you too, my prince.." I made my voice turn slightly concerned. "Did you have a nightmare, or are you just feeling," sadistic "bored?"

"Both," he muttered, avoiding my eyes but keeping his voice void of emotions. "Does it matter?" He kissed me suddenly, less carefully this time, keeping the pressure of the blade but not pressing any harder. "I want.. something."

"Oh?" I murmured, trying to sound amused. "Any idea what that something is?" I was still.. Well, angry was the wrong word. How could I be angry that he didn't care, when his not caring was the reason I had found him so interesting in the first place? Disappointed was a more suitable word. I was disappointed in that I had expected to somehow have changed him by now, majorly so, but that hadn't happened. In fact, I wasn't sure if I had managed to even create even the slightest of difference in him.

He stayed silent for a while, turning the knife so my skin was now touched by its tip, and eventually shrugged slightly. "You know what I want.. Although, I'm not sure, are you expecting me to ask your permission now, you not being a little girl I can command and all that?" He frowned slightly, looking up to meet my eyes again.

I sighed. Of course he'd bring that up again, and throw it in my face, because being treated at least somewhat kindly by the only person you ever loved was obviously far too much to ask for. I turned onto my back, letting go of his wrist. "Go ahead, hurt me. You apparently find it enjoyable, so.." I shrugged, sighing again. "But do tell, if I refused.. Would you find me boring?" I had turned my face emotionless, because I didn't want him to know how important I found his answer. As always, I couldn't help but wonder what I really was to him, and dreading the answer.

"I--" He pressed the blade harder against my skin again, enough for it to hurt, but not enough to pierce my skin, and then closed his eyes and relaxed slightly again, speaking silently. "I didn't find it enjoyable yesterday," he said. "And neither did you.. I don't want us to fight again." He pulled away again, holding himself above me and keeping the knife in place. If he only knew he can't do anything to you with that little toy. "I don't like what it did to me, how it made me.. feel." He sounded a bit reluctant, talking about something he knew nothing of. "Why did you come to me? I thought you were angry."

"I was," I muttered. "I still am." I wanted to ask him what feelings it was that he didn't like, but I knew he probably couldn't tell me, since the only thing he had ever really felt was fear, and I doubt us fighting would scare him. "But I decided it's not really your fault. You don't usually feel much, after all, so how could I expect you to show empathy." I shook my head slightly, mostly to clear my own head. "I came back because you needed me.. Or at least it seemed like you did."

He nodded a bit, looking somewhat conflicted. "I did. I.. I don't understand, but I don't think anyone else would've..fixed me." Does that actually mean that he thinks I'm special? He frowned. "Is that along the lines of how people always feel when they have a fight with someone they're close to in some way?"

"If it made you fell bad, then yes." I ran my fingers through his hair and then brushed a few strands from his face. I hadn't seen it so unruly in quite some time, and he looked tired, though that wasn't so strange considering how much energy I took from him to try to make him faint. "It made me feel bad as well.. Though I still stand by what I said. Most of it, anyway." If he hadn't still been holding the blade against my neck I would've reached up to kiss him, but instead I stayed put, simply stroking his cheek gently. "I don't like being hurt, my prince, and I certainly don't like being taken for granted or being bossed around." Then why haven't you killed him yet? "But you are my prince, and I can put up with the latter, but being taken for granted.. It kind of hurts," I admitted. "What if I died? Would you miss me at all?" I needed to be more careful. Speaking like this made it almost seem like I was begging for attention, didn't it?

"Of course," he said without hesitation, seeming surprised by me asking, and smirked slightly. "I'm not stupid, I know where I'd be without you, and I don't like that alternative." He stopped pressing the knife so hard against my skin, just keeping it there instead. "You won't die. That would be.. too inconvenient. I won't let it happen."

I let myself smile wryly. It wasn't exactly a confession, but at least I knew he cared enough to want me alive.. For some reason or another. "Inconvenient, hmm?" I pushed his arm away slightly, reaching up to kiss him, biting his bottom lip gently. "I won't let you die either. I'll always protect you.. Even if you don't really need me to."

He smiled quickly this time, but then turned serious, observing the knife for a while. "And if you can't? If something happens and I die?"

"I'll kill myself," I said simply, not lying. He was the only reason I hadn't already done it, and I had no doubt in my mind about doing it when Dae grew old and died. I'm sure as hell aren't going to let him die any sooner than that. "But I won't let you die before your hair is grey and your back bent."

"...you'll kill yourself?" He raised an eyebrow. "Why?" He poked my chest with the knife gently, thinking for a bit. "Though.. growing old doesn't sound particularly fun."

I forced a chuckle. The though of him dying was.. Well, it wasn't pleasant, and the undoubtful certainty of it only made it worse. All humans died sooner or later, and seeing Dae grow old and fade away would be more than enough incentive for me to end my own life as well. "No, it really doesn't.. But we don't really have much of a choice." I slowly ran my fingers down along his side. "Unless you find some so far unheard of spell, we're all doomed."

"If there was such a spell, I imagine my father would already know of it," he said with a silent sigh. "And I don't think he'd share it with me." He frowned suddenly. "Then again, he wants me dead, and without me there is no heir."

I went on to drawing small circles with the tips of my fingers on his side and up onto his chest. "You shouldn't worry about him." I'll kill him long before he gets to you. I lowered my voice and smiled mischievously. "We could always have him killed, no? And do it in some smart way so everyone will think it's an accident?"

"And give Brek and Creyo a king to keep as hostage?" He shook his head a bit. "They wouldn't let me go.. it wouldn't be smart, I wouldn't in their place. No.. Once after Lierre marries Thran and I get back home, we can discuss that idea."

I frowned slightly, but then nodded. "If that's what you want, my prince. Though.." I shook my head a bit, the idea that popped into my mind seemed a bit risky. "No, never mind. We'll talk about it later." I kissed him somewhat suddenly. "You should probably go and have breakfast with the others, or they'll wonder where you are."
“Are you looking for sympathy? You'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis”
― Thomas Harris








If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
— Lemony Snicket