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Zombies!



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Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:58 pm
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CelticaNoir says...



Celtica was panicking. She was definitely not happy about the sudden hole her belly had become. While it wasn't bleeding...(which was weird)...she knew she was going to die. She just knew it.

"Don't ignore me! Help me with this! Please?" She made a passing imitation of a whiny toddler, putting emphasis on that unfortunate word which suddenly toppled onto Lumi. He barely managed to get out of the way.

"Resources is under attack and now we have a person putting emphasis in her words." Lumi pointed out. "Gag her, please."

"But I have a HOLE in my belly!" Celtica shrieked. "I--"

"Your belly is a hole."

One word after another toppled onto Lumi. "Will people please stop emphasizing their words?"
I am the workingman, the inventor, the maker of the world's food and clothes.
I am the audience that witnesses history.
- Carl Sandburg, I am the People, the Mob





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Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:10 pm
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Flux says...



"Aye aye, Cap'n!" Flux mock-saluted. Her short burst of excitement and humour was quickly dispersed when another loud crash erupted through Resources.

"And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs."

Over-used lines from Mean Girls erupted through the grand halls of Resources. Flux gripped her head, clearly distraught. "No more zombies!" She whimpered, trying to use as little emphasis as possible so as to not injure poor Lumi anymore. "Oh, dear sweet italics, does anyone have a plan!"

There was a faint crunch, then an audible groan.

"Oh, sorry Lumi."
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.

Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."

-- Oscar Wilde





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Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:31 pm
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Kale says...



"Marlins are better!" We I shout back in defiance. "And so are Brownings!"

"But what about lever-actions?" asks Dover.

"They're fast, but have you ever tried to fix a jam in one of those? No. Besides. Gates are evil. They always take the tip of our my thumb clean off and—"

"Okay! Stop right there!" says Rosey, clamping a firm hand over Our my mouth. Dover isn't far behind.

"Mphhrmphffiffhehfgh!"

I know, right?

The building shakes and pillars tremble, but the heavily fortified walls hold, even as the occupants are sent tumbling to the (carefully polished to a blinding sheen) floors. We I disentangle Our myself from the tangle of unicorn and sister and resume Our my search for Our myWe I really need to stop confusing myself on the whole gender thing... and maybe spend less time in Chat — our third partner, hoping all the while that she has not been lost to the maze that is the storehouse of YWS's Collective Writerly Knowledge...

We have yet to find The Others.
Last edited by Kale on Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Secretly a Kyllorac, sometimes a Murtle.
There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
WRFF | KotGR





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Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:36 pm
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Rydia says...



Plans. Weren't those things supposed to be her department? "Uh-" said kitty, stalling for time. This wasn't really her area. She had powers here, yes. But she always felt a little out of her depth in resources since it was so very far from her comfort zone. She didn't even know what sort of weapons were available. Well. Except for what was in The Vault. Every moderator knew what that was. "Get me one of those stickies!" Something very much like an idea danced in her head.

"Which one?" Kyllorac wondered. "Maybe the Reviewer Testimonials."

"No, that one's pretty useful," Rosey replied. "But perhaps we could take one from Writing Tips, how about-"

Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.

All of the members shrank back from the reference and suddenly there was frantic movement as everyone tried to pull down a sticky at once.

"I've got one," said Flux.

"Here, this one's coming free."

"How about-"

"Not to be impatient, but things are getting Mean over here. What's the plan, kitty?" Charlie asked. Now that was a good question.
Writing Gooder

~Previously KittyKatSparklesExplosion15~

The light shines brightest in the darkest places.





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Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:23 am
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Charlie II says...



Everybody looked at Kitty15 except Kyllorac who was having some sort of existential crisis.

"Get those stickies rolled up," she said. "We're going to The Vault."

That started some mutterings. Rumours arced round the group like lightning -- this was the trouble with highly imaginative young writers. Everyone had a suggestion, each more ridiculous than the last, and it was only a matter of time before Lumi tapped Kitty on the shoulder and spoke to her privately.

"Are you sure about this, Kitty? I thought we, y'know..." Lumi shuffled his feet, just like he did every day. "I thought we needed Nate's permission to use that?"

Kitty didn't reply. She was watching Dreamwalker examine the large hole in Celtica who was being comforted by Flux while Celdover helped by following Lumi's orders and gagging Celtica even though she was meant to be helping Charlie and Rosey roll up the stickies despite the fact that they hadn't unstuck Homelessporcupine even though Tenyo was doing her best but it just wasn't working.

"Has anyone seen Pigeon?"

"What's that groaning noise?"

A shambling horde shambled towards them, groaning and holding their stomachs in pain. Rosey trotted and Charlie ran up to the mods, saluting smartly with his PSG which made them all flinch.

"We're done already -- everyone helped and got STUCK in!"

"Let's get moving," said Rosey, tossing her mane like she was in a L'Oréal advert. "Those zombies just came from the WRFF threads and they look hungry."

"Follow me," shouted Kitty as she gathered the YWSers together. "It's time we went down to The Vault."
Last edited by Charlie II on Tue Oct 04, 2011 2:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
-- Woody Allen





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Tue Oct 04, 2011 2:01 pm
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Dreamwalker says...



Dreamwalker helped the newly gagged Celtica up, wondering morbidly to herself if all of the organs not interrupted by the giant hole in her belly would fall out in a great heaping mess of gore. This thought amused her greatly, though she'd never say it as Celtica whimpered and clung for dear life.

"Help me, would you?" she gestured towards Flux who nodded in understanding. "She's a bit of a leech."

After a rather exhausting attempt at prying the girl off Dreamwalker's arm, Flux finally managed to get one arm wrapped around her own shoulder so that the weight was distributed equally.

"We should move."

"That we should."

"..mmmm.."

Turning away from the mass horde of zombies, they got closer to the rest of the group who seemed quite at war with themselves on this one. All attention was on Kitty.

"Is there some kind of trapped door?"

"Just follow me," she said. "Top secret information, after all."
Suppose for a moment that the heart has two heads, that the heart has been chained and dunked in a glass booth filled with river water. The heart is monologuing about hesitation and fulfillment while behind the red brocade the heart is drowning. - R.S





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Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:33 pm
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Skorpionne says...



Username: Skorpionne
Password: *************

*Tap*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!"

There are simply some moments when you can't help but use caps, and this was one of them. Did I cause that capsquake? Oops.

Zombies, of all things. It was a good thing the Who's Online was nearby. I slammed the door behind me, trapping a few zombie fingers in the process. Sorry, Amfiliflier.

Despite the havoc outside, it was rather peaceful. Who's Online was a very plain room, three walls, a floor and a ceiling all spotless white. The last wall consisted of a huge shimmering list of names.

Problem was, the Who's Online room only had one door, and I could still hear the LOL's outside. Looked like I was stuck for a while.
I've learned so much from people who never existed - Unknown





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Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:06 pm
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Lumi says...



Lumi and Kitty and Rosey and Kyllorac stood in front of the vault, eyes watching in awe at the firewall in front of them. It was totally hot...and some of Nate's best work, without a doubt.

"Well," Lumi said, clearing his throat, "looks like we tried. Nate just didn't want us to survive a zombie apocalypse."

"Cry Us them y'all me a river," Kyllorac murmured, reaching out into the fire. Kitty slapped her hand down immediately.

"I'm not sure this is a joke," she said, a bit worried. "After all, Nate certainly had to keep some things up his sleevies before he left."

"Like his armies?" Charlie called from down the hall. His gun went off and fired a searing bolt right into the fire wall, zipping it out of reality.

"...I'm okay with this," Lumi said, keeping alert eyes on every shadowy corner of the Bank's darker corridors.

"It looks like this place hasn't been cleaned since Jabber was a Junior Moderator."

The thought made Rosey cringe and blow through her lips like a horse.

"Alright. The vault."

The mods all stared at the imposing Vault security wall, nervous as mice in an arsenic lab.

"Well, someone has to do it."

The rest of the mods looked way up at Lumi, who looked down to Kitty. "Rock-paper-scissors?"

Kitty chose rock.

Lumi chose scissors.

"Have fun!" Kitty meowed before scurrying back with the other two to rejoin the group behind them. The towering tower of Lumi rolled his shoulders, getting ready to use the most protected password in YWS history. If he did it wrong, his account...would be deleted.

He clenched his fists, closing his eyes, and readied himself. And, staring up at the bank vault's door in one of those dramatic ways that you only really see these days in a Will Ferrel gag, he parted his lips and said--
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.





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Wed Oct 05, 2011 1:37 am
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Incognito says...



Incognito chewed the last piece of gum solemnly, looking at the door with relative boredom. It did explain why she just kind of disappeared. Of course, as she chewed and chewed, her thoughts returned to the sounds outside.

“Moldy pickles surprisingly taste good with Asian hot sauce.”

Her brow raised, smirk emanating. Well, looks like she got herself out of this one.

The vaults door swung wide open, sending light into the barely lit vault, blinding her for a few short seconds before she blinked and looked at the dumbstruck faces.

“Cheeto?” Lumi’s brows furrowed.

“Oh, hey,” she said, sliding from the pedestal she had been sitting on. “I was wondering when somebody was going to get me out of here.”

The people in the party looked at each other, confusion written across their faces. Especially Dreamwalker. Her expression was priceless.

“I thought you were ghosting in chat,” she said, shaking her head back and forth. “Everyone though you were…”

“Inactive?” she asked. “Dead? Nah, Nate put me in here a half a year ago with a couple tubs of bad gum and a bottle of coke. After learning telepathy, I’ve been sending messages to chat every once and awhile.”

“That explains quite a bit, actually,” Dreamwalker mused. Of course, no one else seemed impressed.

Kitty looked around her, eyes flicking this way and that. “So, if you’re in here, then where is the secret weapon?”

This seemed to catch everyone’s attention.

“Secret weapon?” Incognito asked, brow raised. “You do realize I was in here for half a year without food. I ate it.”
'Everyone is entitled to be stupid, some just abuse the priviledge.'





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Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:03 pm
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Flux says...



Flux was mid-grumble when the doors of the vault swung open.

"Would you mind holding up your side a little better?" she hissed at Dreamwalker. She shifted the gagged and limp Celtica on her shoulder and stiffly turned her neck back towards the vault that began swinging open.

Flux hadn't heard much of the conversation, seeing as she'd gotten stuck at the back of the pack dragging Celtica along, but her jaw dropped open none-the-less when she saw the figure slide off their pedestal.

She recognized this person ... She just couldn't quite place a finger on where she'd seen them before.

She was wracking her brain, trying to figure out where she knew the person from. She only caught snippets of the conversation going on. "So, if you're in here, then where is the secret weapon?"

Flux snapped back at attention. Her eyes shot to the figure that stood just at the entrance to the vault, looking somewhat tired, and definitely hungry.

"Secret weapon?" she paused, raising an eyebrow. "You do realize I was in her for half a year without food. I ate it."

Celtica slid from Flux's shoulder, causing Dreamwalker to be caught off balance. The hole-y girl crashed to the floor, but Flux ignored it, darting forward.

"Nonononono!" She gasped. "That's can't be true ... It just can't! The zombies -- we need the secret weapon!" She grabbed the girl by the shoulders and roughly began shaking her. "Say it isn't so!"

"It isn't so," the girl snarled sarcastically, her eyes wide from the jostling.

Flux ignored her, holding the girl steady where she stood. "Then you must be the secret weapon!"

Flux whirled around; she was looking for faces to confirm that they, too, had thought along the same lines as her. Mostly, she just wanted to make her that she hadn't gone crazy.
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.

Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."

-- Oscar Wilde





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Wed Oct 05, 2011 11:34 pm
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Pigeon says...



"I agreeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!" Pigeon moaned, stumbling lethargically into the room.

Flux sighed. The concurrence of a girl who was, by now, at least 60% zombie didn't do a lot to reassure her of her sanity.

"Oh, that's where Pigeon went." Lumi remarked.

"tbh i cbb so ill jus ttyl" Pigeon muttered. She meandered slowly towards Lumi, who nudged her away, sending her towards Kyll. Kyll held up an arm, and Pigeon continued to walk on the spot at arms-length.

"You know, we really need to either get her better or get rid of her." Kyll reminded them.

And with Pigeon's weird zombie transformation distracting them the group had forgotten about the secret weapon.

"Oh yeah, the secret weapon." Lumi looked up. "Thanks, narrator."

The narrator grumbled something about post-modernism and youths always wanting to break the fourth wall, and how they never interfered with third person narration back in their day...

Everyone turned to Incognito, all sharing Flux's crazy thought.

Incognito stared back, unnerved by all the eyes on them. Suddenly, one by one, the crowd dropped to their knees (well, all except Celtica, who was still lying on the floor, and Pigeon, who shambled mindlessly away issuing random bursts of text).

"Please, Incognito, you're our only hope."

"You have to help us."

"We'll do anything."

Now this, thought Incognito, was more like it.
Reader, what are you doing?






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Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:12 am
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Kale says...



Now, when the narrator said "they all", the narrator obviously excluded Kyllorac who was holding Pigeon at armslength the entire time while the mostly-zombie was still happily (or not so) shambling in place. Kyllorac — having survived the existential crisis by resolving to refrain from the use of any personal pronouns, especially in reference to Kyllorac's self — had no intention of allowing the mostly-zombie to shamble about and infect the currently-prostrate occupants of the vault, as amusing as the ensuing chaos might prove to be.

The last thing Kyllorac wanted was more zombies. Especially more zombies like a certain fireheartedkaratepup of the extremely enthusiastic greetings, made even moreso by the zombification.

Kyllorac still was unsure how Kyllorac escaped without infection.

But Kyllorac's line of thought, which had drowned out any and all ongoing conversation to Kyllorac's ears, was rudely interrupted by the loudly shouted orders of a certain name-changer of the truncated name. Kyllorac still remembered the days when Incognito was Incognito Temptation, and Dreamwalker, The.Dreamwalker, and Flux—

"You! Kyllorac!"

Kyllorac's line of thought was (again) rudely interrupted by the truncated name's shouting.

"Yes?"

"Go review those zombies into submission!"

Kyllorac looked at Pigeon, still shambling in place, and shrugged. Reviewing was worth a try. With much apomb, Kyllorac tossed Pigeon onto Pigeon's behind, unsheathed the talons, and said (for purely dramatic purposes):

"Here goes something."
Secretly a Kyllorac, sometimes a Murtle.
There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
WRFF | KotGR





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Thu Oct 06, 2011 2:53 am
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Pigeon says...



Kyllorac reviewed.

It went on for what felt like hours. A cacophony of corrections. An avalanche of advice. A bombardment of -
Kyllorac looked sharply at the narrator. The narrator looked away in embarrassment and appeared to be editing their script.
When Kyllorac was finished Pigeon was sitting in silence, staring blankly into space. The noise from the shambling horde outside the vault door had quietened a little too.

Dreamwalker carefully approached Pigeon and caught her eye.

"Pigeon, how do you feel?"

Pigeon stared at her, and then finally spoke. "A little inadequate, but I think I can do better next time."

Dreamwalker turned around and grinned at everyone. "Guys, she's back!" No one seemed to hear her, they were all staring at Kyllorac.

"Um, Kyll," Charlie said, "are you okay? I mean, we know that the zombie virus makes reviewers harsher, and well, that was, well, that was pretty harsh..." he trailed off.

Lumi shook his head and smiled. "That's just what Kyllorac is like.
"Come on everyone, let's get moving."
Reader, what are you doing?






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Thu Oct 06, 2011 5:44 am
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Hecatia10 says...



Elsewhere...

Hecatia gradually stirred from what seemed like a year-long sleep, blearily opening her eyes to the Chamber of Forgotten Profiles. The chamber was dusty, the walls cracked and Hecatia sighed at the work she would need to do to push it back into use again. As she stood up to scrape the cobwebs off her last post she noticed an unusual absence of dust layering her private message box. Curious, she walked towards it to find a message from Pigeon.

"Zombies!!
True story.
Also, hi.
Well, you seem to not be there so now I'm gonna go eat breakfast/similar.
Bye!! :)
Did I mention that there is a zombie apocalypse?! Because there is."

Hecatia was startled. Surprisingly this was not a consequence of the news of zombie disaster, but instead because of the over-punctuation and grammar mistakes within Pigeon's message. 'Gonna', 'apocolipse?!' ?

Something must be terribly wrong.

Then she remembered.
'Oh, Zombies, right.'

She was about to start panicking when another message appeared.

"Hi, its Pigeon again. I thought I should tell you that I was almost a zombie but Kyllorac reviewed me so I'm better now. We're trying to save YWS and are about to go somewhere with some sort of secret weapon to do something. If you're not a Zombie you might want to try joining us. Just keep away from Introductions."

Hecatia pulled out her old map of YWS and - hoping that the site hadn't changed since she had obtained the map - saw that the Chamber of Forgotten Profiles was a long distance from Introductions. It might be safe enough to try and find Pigeon and whoever she was with, wherever they were, whatever it was they were doing.

Imagining herself a sword and gripping her new weapon tightly, she nervously headed out as the walls of the chamber flaked crumbs of html behind her.
"The reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory"





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Thu Oct 06, 2011 10:33 am
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fireheartedkaratepup says...



Meanwhile, back with the group...

Suddenly, a small puppy darted out of a bush and into Lumi's arms. "Well, where did you come from?" he exclaimed, surprised.

Kyllorac became alarmed. "Don't let her lick you! She's one of--"

But before the mod could finish its sentence, the puppy had zipped up and over, nipped Kyllorac's ears and nose, and zipped back to Lumi, before yapping irritably. "OW!" The nippee yelled. "What was that for?!"

"I think she's mad at you," Lumi observed.

"Ya think?!" The saberglare being directed his way only made the tall mod laugh.

"She must have been listening when you called her a zombie, earlier. She's not a zombie--she's just a saucy pup!" And with that, he delivered a knowing wink to the squirming creature in his arms. The puppy yapped happily.

Rosey eyed them both. "Since when do you speak puppy?"

Lumi shrugged. "It just comes naturally, I guess."
"Ok, Lolpup. You can be a girl worth fighting for."
--Pengu








"I think; therefore, I am."
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