Young Writers Society

A dastardly shadow is looming over the city of Megapolis. News reports run nightly, full of thefts, murders, burglaries, and threats, and no one has been able to stop these villains who call themselves the Malevolents. The police have been scattered, barely able to protect the city from gangs. Every good citizen fears to walk the streets at night, afraid of encountering the mysterious, unpredictable masked figures.

This villainous threat has gone on for too long. The desperate cries of the innocent have roused the attention of a very special group of superheroes, one that will change the course of history: the Metro Monitors.

Ok, hold up now... I thought we agreed on Metro Muscle! It's so much cooler!

Umm, no, I called it Marvelous Metro Monitors, and no one is changing it. Wait, how are you even talking?? I'm writing this story!

Ok, that does it. You're not in charge of this story any more. Go away. Write a fan fiction or something.

I'm the author! You can't just

----------------------------------------------

Well, apparently I can! Now YOU have to talk in italics.

Fine... But people are just going to laugh at you. When you're done clowning around, I will get on with the story.

No, first, I'm clearing up some things. Howdy folks! All right, so first, the name's Super Captain Coolman, but you can just call me Captain Coolman. Now, I know what you're probably thinking. "Wow, that is the lamest name I have ever heard." Well, you'd be right. That's all thanks to some genius who thought it would be a good idea.

I'm still here...

This brilliant mastermind is gathering a group of her equally ingenious comrades who have been tasked with creating the worst and lamest superheroes known to mankind. Horrific, isn't it? There's the real crime, if you ask me. But regardless, this team of misfits and poor excuses for superheroes is destined to gather as one united force: the Metro Muscle, to....

Metro Monitors.

Fine, but only if we call it the Mighty Metro Monitors.

*sigh
Deal...

Anyway, the Mighty Metro Monitors... I can't even say that without wanting to throw up... to defeat the dastardly Malevolents. Really? Does everything have to be alliterated in this? And her comrades in crime are even now resigning previously innocent characters to a life of despair and embarrassment. Oh, are they reading this right now?

Yup, they've been reading every word since the beginning. Told you you should have let me talk.

Sorry about that, good authors. Your character crafting skills are, without a doubt, unparalleled in your respective lands. But this story will be unlike those well crafted stories that you are so accustomed to creating. This story will utilize the misfits, the dregs of the barrel, so to speak, which will unite as one in order to defeat the Malevolents, and whatever may follow in their foul shadow, once and for all.

So who's with me??


Isn't there supposed to be a cool ending phrase or something on this?

Nope, I'm not adding one. You were the one who wanted to introduce this story, and you're the one who's going to finish it.

Well, I don't really have anything else to say... So, maybe a cool photo?

If you can find one, Einstein.

Maybe later... For now, I toss down the gauntlet before you, brilliant authors. Can your creative genius craft a character so lame and semi-useless to fit into this team? I leave it up to you.

Welcome to the world of Lousy Superheroes




NOTE:
There are two types of heroes: superheroes and sidekicks. You can have up to one superhero and one sidekick. (If you choose, you can have just one superhero or one sidekick.)

- Superheroes: The talk of the town, and forever the ones in the spotlight. They have the 2 powers allowed to sidekicks, but their capes allow them to have an additional power (2 + 1 = 3)

- Side-kicks: Not often as spoken of, but equally important as the superheroes. Can have up to 2 powers

We will have a villain/villains in this story, but those characters will be crafted later on


Team members:

- ajruby12
- saentiel
- Sheytato
- soundofmind
- Europa

A deep rumble shook the earth. The rafters quaked with the sheer magnitude of the shock blast. It was too late. Doom was already upon them! There was no escape now!

“CC, can you keep it down? Your stomach grumbles are making me lose my focus.” Symphonious Skunk put down her nail file, drumming her claw-like nails on the table.

“Sorry about that, Skunkie, but duty before food. Ah, the harsh life of a superhero...” Captain Coolman said, his super chest swelling with a super big breath as he sighed, kicking his dazzlingly white boots up on a coffee table.

“I'd prefer you don't call me that, Cap'n C. Skunk'll do just fine.” Skunk smoothed back her silky black hair, her nose wrinkling with a giggle as she commented,
“And your 'duties' do not consist of watching the news.” She got up and reached to turn off the television, but Captain Coolman held up a hand.

“Hold on, my super senses are picking something up. Is that… a desperate cry… for pizza!” He shot up towards the window, but Skunk swiftly grabbed onto his shoulder, shaking her head.

“Mmm, not gonna happen, Cap'n. The boss man said to stay here until the other heroes arrive. But I will call in an order for pizza. How many?”

“All of them, my good sidekick, all of them.” Captain Coolman placed his hands on his hips as he stared out the window, trying to look dramatic as he gazed out at the rows of corn. He muttered under his breath, “They could have at least given us a better view… A farm just isn't the most convenient location.”

Skunk chuckled. “Well, we gots three still left to arrive. I'll just order extra and we can munch on it later.” She wandered off towards the landline, mumbling to herself. “Now, let's see… Do they have mice as a topping option? Eh, prolly not. We'll just do the norm, pepperoni, sausage, and cheese. Hope no one like anchovies.”

Captain Coolman glanced around the room, which was a spacious, but fairly bare attic.
“Well, they certainly know how to spoil us, huh?” he said to himself.

“Wonder when the others will get here?”

Skunk's voice called back to him from the other side of the room.

“Probably not until their authors find the time, Cap'n C. Now, how do you feel about insects on those pizzas? Too much? Hmm, maybe we'll just go with fungi. Yeah, hi, is this the Metro Pizza Parlor? Yeah, I'd like five pepperoni pizzas, six cheese, four sausage, and one mushroom, onion, and lizard pizza. Oh, no lizard? Bacon, then. Yeah, all large pizzas. No, large. Yes, all of them. Yes! How many times do I have to say it?? Deliver it to the superheroes headquarters, address… oh, you already know where it is? Of course, because it's a gigantic, heavily armored building in the middle of an empty field. Yeah, bill it to the Mighty Metro Monitors account. No, Mighty Metro Monitors. Ugh, forget it… Just bill it to the boss man. Yep, that boss man. Mkay, bye. Tsh, no lizards…” she muttered grumpily as she hung up the phone.

Just then, the intercom buzzed.
“Super Captain Coolman, one of the team members has just arrived. Sending them up to you right now.”

Duplot Device

"Another day, another dish of justice served!" Duplo exclaimed, grinning to himself as he pulled the vintage-styled instant camera out of his bag, along with a recent developed photo. With a smile with the seeming sincerity of a man in a toothpaste commercial, Duplo beamed at the photo. Pictured, was him, wearing the same exact white-toothed smile, holding the infamous Crazy 8 up with his arm. While it might've been a pleasant photo under other circumstances, this photo had Ms.Crazy 8 tied up and gagged, with police lights flashing in the background.

Duplo flipped to the most recent page in his scrapbook and peeled off the protective film over the page, before placing the new memory onto the mildly stick paper and smoothing the plastic covering back down slowly. For a moment, there was complete silence as Duplo stared at the photo on his bedroom floor with a slowly fading smile - but then he heard his phone buzz.

Reaching his arm out, his hand dipped into hammer-space and he pulledh is phone seeming out of thin air, and looked at the most recent notification reminder. It read:


At the sight of the conveniently timed reminder, and the alarming amount of alliteration, Duplo stood up quickly and instantaneously teleported into the cornfield just outside their meeting place. Then, staring off into an indeterminable space (though suspiciously into the eyes of the author) he declared:

"It's a good thing I can just appear where I want to be," he said with a wink. "That way, no one can follow me! In order to do that, they'd have to read minds!" And another wink (as if he were to wish the existence of a villian with such powers upon himself - such a wink was to counteract that kind of irony).

Duplo again teleported his way to the front door, and with his small boop into existence, he knocked on the door.

Hearing the knock, both Skunk and Captain Coolman exchanged glances briefly, as if challenging the other to get up and get the door.

"Are you going to get the door?" Coolman asked.

"Are you going to get the door?" Skunk asked back.

A moment of challenging silence.

Suddenly, as if in opposition to their reluctance and in solution to their momentary laziness, Duplo teleported into the room, standing between them with his hands on his hips.

"Hello, fellow heroes!" He greeted them. "My apologies for my tardiness."

Coolman shrugged slightly. "No worries, Duplo! Glad your author was so quick to reply! Come, sit down. We have very plush seating."

Duplo nodded, and plopped himself down in one of the sofas, sinking down ever so slightly. "So how do you two fare these days?" Duplo asked, initiating polite conversation.

"Eh, you know, the usual," Skunk replied with a half shrug. "Catching some petty criminals here and there, and all that."

Duplo nodded with understanding, seeming to take her casual comment a little too seriously. "Yes. There is no rest for the wicked. So there shall be no rest for us!"

Coolman and Skunk both exchanged glances of exaggerated frowns of disagreement.

"Well, not exactly uh, no rest," Cap'n C objected hesitantly. "That sounds a bit extreme. And I mean, you are sitting in a sofa. And we ordered pizza."

Duplo looked directly at Coolman. "Pizza?"

Skunk nodded with a smile. "Yep?"

Duplo was silent for a moment, seeming to consider the meaning of the word pizza, or something or other before replying, ever so anti-climactically. "Awesome! I love pizza!"

King Croc and Rachel

King Croc marched jauntily down the walkway to the giant metal fortress. "Gee." He said with exaggerated confusion "I can't find this base for the life of me. It's just so well hidden!"

"Uh..." The womal walking behind him fiddled nervously with her glasses. "Mr....Croc?"

"Just Croc, Girlie. King Croc if you want to be formal."

"King Croc, It's right there." She pointed at the huge building. Croc looked over at her. Apparently, his author had not informed him that his new sidekick didn't get the concept of sarcasm. He sighed.

"I know, that's the joke. I mean, just how much more obvious could these wankahs be?" With that, he banged three times on the door.

As they waited for someone to answer, King Croc turned to his partner. "Awlright. Here's what we're going to do. Whenever one of these guys opens the door, I'll do the talking. I'll say 'Greetins teammates! The name's King Croc, defender of justice! And this is my faithful sidekick' then I'll point to you and you'll say..."

His partner stared at him for a moment. "...Rachel?"

"No, no, no!" He shook his head. "You have to say a cool name like--"

The door opened. King Croc immediately whirled around to face the person who had answered it. "Greetings teammates!" He began with his fists on his hips. Though he couldn't see it, Rachel was wincing behind him. "The name's King Croc! Defender of justice! And this is faithful sidekick--" He pointed at Rachel. Recognizing her cue, Rachel started and stared at the caped man in the doorway, then looked back at King Croc.

"Um..."

King Croc nodded encouragingly. Rachel looked back at the caped man

"Rachel."

King Croc sighed defeatedly. "We'll work on it."

"King Croc!" The caped man folded his arms grandly. "You're just in time. Welcome, my friend!"

Rachel watched him from over King Croc's shoulder. She felt like wincing again. She guessed (Correctly) that whoever this caped man was had also rehearsed his introduction.

"I am Super Captain Coolman, and--"

King Croc snorted. Captain Coolman stopped, shocked.

"Sorry." Croc snickered. "It's just... Super Captain Cool Man? Really?"

Super Captain Coolman flushed a handsome shade of red. "It's a working title!" This only made King Croc laugh harder.

"Sorry to break it to you, Matey-o, but I don't think that 'working title' works quite as well as you thought it did."

Captain Coolman, once again regretting his author's choice in names, turned around with a flourish of his cape. "Oh... just come in!"

The Actor

→ Adrian Black

It was always hard for him to determine where the divide between Adrian Black and The Actor truly began. When he was making his way through the halls of the local high school, he should have been the dedicated honors student Adrian Black – but he was almost always thinking of the secret little adventures he would go on when he left the building.

And now, sitting on a half-broken chair in a dark alley, he should have been The Actor. But it wasn't like he ask his AP Language and Composition teacher for an extension on his essay because he needed to protect the city. Nor could his studying for his AP US History wait until the early hours of the morning.

So he found himself balancing the duties of a high school student and vigilant superhero. A villain was almost certain to show themselves soon. Villains and dark alleyways almost always went together.

Of course, his brilliant plan had a drawback that he hadn't expected. It was only when an unfamiliar superhero appeared in the entrance that he realized his fatal error. They started to spout an irritatingly familiar speech about justice that almost every superhero said when they saw him, but he was more focused on stuffing his belongings into his backpack.

“Are you fleeing?” the superhero asked as he started to make a run for the other end of alleyway – thank God that it wasn't a dead end. “Or are you about to enact your dastardly plan, villain?”

He groaned. If only the girl at the other end of the alleyway knew how many times he had saved the city! No one ever paid attention to the news anymore, and now he was suffering the consequences. Still, it wasn't like he would tell her that he was a superhero and not a villain. Confrontations had never been his thing.

His phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket.

He slid to a halt. The girl, who decided it was better to be respectful than to seize the opportunity that she had been presented with, waited as he read the text. When he saw the contents and the sender, a smile began to spread across his face. He eagerly showed it to the other superhero.

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Super Captain Coolman?” she asked in disbelief. “Why on Earth would he be texting a villain about a meeting of the Mighty Metro Monitors-”

Her eyes widened.

“You're a superhero?”

He gave her a simple nod before rushing off to the meeting.


“I'm sorry for being late,” he apologized as the door opened. He found himself greeted by the thankfully familiar face of Duplot Device. The other superhero gave him a grin as he ushered him inside. “I ran into another superhero who thought I was a villain.”

Duplo looked over at him. “What did you do this time?”

“My homework.”

“...And?”

He sighed. “I was in a dark alley. I wanted to keep an eye out for villains, but then that superhero appeared and it was only Super Captain Coolman's text that made her stop trying to enact justice on me.”

The older man stifled a laugh.

He felt the heat rise to his cheeks as he ducked his head in embarrassment.

Everyone had still been arriving at the meeting, so the Unvisible waited patiently. He eventually grew bored however, seeing he was the first one there. Of course, no one noticed him, and so while he was technically waiting with Super Captain Coolman and Symphonius Skunk, he was basically waiting alone. With boredom comes hunger, naturally, and so he snuck through the door which the new arrival, Duplo Device, had opened.

He descended in what appeared to others as a haunted elevator, functioning on its own. Of course, he had to make sure no one was looking, because explaining permanent invisibility was undesirable. Admittedly, as this elevator situation proved, invisibility has its ups and its downs. (See what I did there? Elevators? Up, down? No, forget it.)

Outside the lobby doorway was the vast web of streets which made up the city (names aren’t important), and like any city, it was littered with independent food stand-operated businesses. These things made perfect targets for shop lifting, especially when you’re invisible. All’s you have to do is walk behind it and wait for the shopkeeper to get distracted by a customer.

There was a churro stand just outside the huge glass doorway, so naturally the Unvisible crossed the street and slid behind it. He had one of those churro-cooker oven things on the back shelf (names still aren’t important), which made more difficult. He couldn’t just slide a churro off the pile and leave, now he had to open the oven first. But he really wanted the churro, so sacrifices had to be made.

By now the shopkeeper was speaking with some customers, a young couple with an empty baby stroller. The Unvisible pondered the lack of baby. Was it stolen? Did they forget it at home? Or are they practicing for when the baby comes, since baby transportation does have the potential to be a tricky business. Either way, they posed distractions.

Slowly, carefully, he slid the oven door open and pulled out a churro. The task proved to be rather easy this time around, but sometimes churro-lifting could be extremely challenging. No matter. His petty crime went unnoticed, and he made his way back to the lobby. With a shrug, he closed the doors on the sounds of the street, the chatter, the sirens, the screaming for a missing baby.

Finally reentering the meeting room, he waited as the last hero arrived. When at last the Actor walked in, the groups attention shifted to waiting for the Unvisible, who realized they were unaware of his presence. “I’m sure he’ll be here any second,” Captain Cool Something or Other said, looking to the door.”

“I’m here already,” said the Unvisible, waving his churro to be clear about it.

“Oh, how long have you been there?”

He shrugged, not that they could see it. “I was here before you, but I went out and got a churro, then came back ten or so minutes ago.”

“Did you pay for the churro?” That skunk guy asked.

“Was I supposed to?”

Just about everyone in the room, the Unvisible excluded, visibly facepalmed. “He’s a work in progress,” the captain said in exasperated explanation.

The Unvisible shrugged.

The buzz over Unvisible's abilities filled the room, and King Croc was about to get into an argument with the Actor over knowing that Unvisible was already there when Captain C. cleared his throat.
"Pardon me, fellow superheroes, but I'd like to make an announcement." Captain Coolman said, clearing his throat and flexing his super awesome muscles.
"Now, as most of you probably know, my name is Super Captain Coolman, but you can just call me Captain Coolman. This is my lovely sidekick, Symphonious Skunk..."

Skunk smiled and tapped the table with her claws as she nodded in greeting.
"And then our other members of the team. Duplot Device, or Duplo. Super clean guy. King Croc" Captain Coolman turned his head aside and coughed into his super white glove "*ahem kinda rude ahem*"

Croc's eyes glared hard at him, but he kept going.
"...and his sidekick, Rachel, who... well, I don't really know what she does, but that's okay. Then the Actor, who is an unfortunate victim of hero misjudgement. If any of you have concerns about mistaking him for a villain, I've had some 3 x 5 cards made up of his face, name, and convienetly labeled with a check mark so you know he's on our team. I also have similar cards for the villain that we are after, also convienietly labeled with a big red X. Any questions?"

Skunk nudged him.
"Cap'n C, you forgot one of 'em."
"Ah, so I have. My apologizes, I didn't see you there, good sir. Our latest arrival, or rather our earliest arrival, is Unvisible, who is pretty much invisible all the time, except for when he wants to turn visible. Fantastically convinent superpower, I'm sure!"

The intercom went off right then.
"Super Captain Coolman, the pizza delivery is here. Sending them up now."

"Wait, we're getting pizza?" King Croc said to Rachel, who just shrugged. He grinned.
"I shoulda known. No sense in rushing off to a mission on an empty stomach."

------------------------------------------

Three delivery boys were at the door, tottering under stacks of pizza. They set them down on the table and stared around, slack-jawed at the gathering of superheroes. Captain Coolman chuckled and patted all three on the back in turn.

"That'll be quite sufficient, my good lads. I'm sure you have other deliveries to do."
The three stared at each other for a moment, then shook their heads.
"Nope, this is it." they said in unison. There was an awkward silence as they continued wandering around the room. Captain Coolman glanced around at the superheroes, but they had all already begun digging into the pizza boxes. Skunk noticed his panicked expression and walked over to the boys.

"Have you three ever heard of the Red Wraith?"
They shook their heads again, but still looked around the room.
"Ah, well, she'sa powerful superhero. She can wipe people's brains of any information that they aren't supposed to know, like top secret information and such. Hurts a lot when she does it too. She sticks her cold, icy fingers into your ears and sucks all that information out of your brain. Sometimes she just pulls out certain pieces of information, but other times... People go crazy. Some of them even..." She trailed off, realizing that the three had dashed out the door. She turned to Captain Coolman, winking cheerily.

"They're gone, Cap'n C."

He heaved a super long sigh.
"Finally... Now, where's that pepperoni pizza..."

For the next few minutes, the team ate in happy silence. In between bites, Skunk pulled empty boxes off the coffee table and stacked them by the door.

The Actor looked over at Duplo, who, though eating pizza at a rapid rate, didn't have a trace of sauce on him.
"How do you do that?" he asked quietly. Duplo chewed the last bite of crust carefully before replying.
"I can't stand dirtiness, so I had this suit designed. All dirt, residue, food, anything just disappears."


King Croc siddled up to Unvisible, winking at him and speaking very audibly.
"Ay, mate, go dump your drink on Duplo's suit. I wanna see what happens."
Unvisible blinked and stared at him blankly as he said,
"Why would I waste my drink? Besides, it would just go straight off his suit, and there would be no purpose to it at all. There's no point to it, so why would I do that?"

Croc coughed slightly.
"Err, just a joke, mate. It would be funny!"
"I don't think it would be funny. Like I said, there's no point to..."
"Just forget it..." Croc said, walking off in a huff.


Captain Coolman cleared his throat again, trying to get everyone's attention.
"Now that we've all eaten, we must focus on the mission at hand."

He pulled out a clipboard and looked over it for a moment.
"Now, to business. The Boss Man has issued our first assignment: The Jugglernaught. Skunk will pass cards around with his picture on it. Now, this villain may appear to be an over-ambitious clown inventor, but he is a very dangerous threat to the good citizens of Metropolis. Yes, Rachel, what is your question?"

Rachel's shaky hand quietly lowered as she spoke.
"So, um, this Jugglernaught guy is a giant robot that looks like a clown? And the picture on the card has him smashing an empty bus on a downed hero. That doesn't exactly invoke a lot of confidence. How, um, dangerous is he?"

Captain Coolman thought for a moment.
"On a scale from 1 - 10, I'd say about a 6. He is dangerous, but he's very proud of himself and often gets distracted when he laughs. He is strong with the suit, but there are definite weaknesses in the suit. At the moment, we haven't found what those are, but there are always flaws in every villain's armor, so I'm confident that we'll find them on-site. Now, one thing to be cautious of is his nose. Don't let him honk his nose, whatever you do. His nose is filled with laughing gas, which may put us all in danger." Duplo's hand had been up for a while, and Captain Coolman sighed, motioning for him to speak.

"Yeah, so what are the chances that we actually win this fight?" Duplo asked, picking a piece of fuzz off of The Actor's suit.

"Well, we're the protagonists, so we'll win. The Boss Man has convienently set a whole lot of stakes on this villain, so we're going to win. If we don't, Metropolis gets overrun with a bunch of circus monkeys, and no one can imagine the kind of destruction they'll bring. Good question, though. Any more questions?"

The room was silent, then there was a hefty knock at the door, a definite smell of cigar wafting into the room. Captain Coolman placed down his clipboard.

"Ah, speaking of the Boss Man... Skunk, let him in. Team, before we go, the Boss Man would like to say a few words."

As soon as Skunk opened the door, a smartly dressed man strode in, his hands clasped behind his back. Following him was a tiny woman, barely coming up past Captain Coolman's knees. She was armed with a sketchbook and measuring tape and immediately began stalking around the superheroes, measuring and adjusting their outfits and murmuring to herself.

The man walked to the center of the room, glaring around sternly at the heroes under bushy eyebrows.

"Mighty Metro Monitors, I'm the Boss Man. This is my assistant, Vee Maxwell. She's here to make sure that you look the part of a superhero team, and I'm here to make sure that you don't mess this up!"

The room was silent again, several of the heroes shuffling their feet awkwardly. The Boss Man continued.

"Now, I'm aware that this Jugglernaught is a dangerous villain, but the whole city will be watching all of you, and I'm here to make sure that you impress them. If you don't wow the crowd, I don't have a chance at a promotion, so you'd all better smarten up and act like a team! Oh, and bring this Jugglernaught guy in too. That's all. Maxwell, let's... Maxwell!"

Vee had stopped short in front of Rachel, her entire tiny frame quivering.
"Ver is your costume??" she barked, cycling around the confused girl several times. Rachel tried to speak, but Vee held up a hand.
"This... this is a disgrace! How am I supposed to make sure that you all look gut if you are dressed like a... like a..."

"Accountant? Because that's what she is." King Croc said, stepping up to her. Vee smacked him in the knee with her sketchbook.

"Are you getting smart vith me, you with your weird snake skin??"

"Maxwell, we will deal with this later." Boss Man barked out. Vee slowly adjusted her glasses, snorting softly.

"Later then..." she said, then turned on her heels and stalked out after the Boss Man.

Captain C. coughed slightly, then he regained his super smile.
"All right team, don't forget that we have a duty to protect civilians at all costs. Oh, and also always rescue kittens from trees. That's all. Now gear up!"

The Actor

→ Adrian Black

Since he had a noticeable of weapons to use against their enemies, it didn't take long to gear up. What actually took the longest was what should have been a five minute walk to the abandoned circus right around the corner. But they had needed to get a kitten down from a tree, and, by the time they reached their destination, an hour had already passed.

And it didn't look like they'd be entering the circus anytime in the near future.

A blockade stretched as far as his eyes could see. Whether it had been part of the original circus, or had been its new owner's most recent addition, he couldn't tell. But the wall was too high to climb over, and the only entrance was guarded by what appeared to be a mechanical sphinx.

King Croc eyed the guardian of the circus. “Let's fight it!” he declared. If Symphonious Skunk hadn't grabbed onto his arm, he would have almost certainly gone barreling towards their opponent.

“It's a sphinx,” she argued, gesturing at it with her free hand.

Adrian nodded in agreement. Even if he hadn't read Harry Potter when he was twelve, he would have known what would be coming next. He crossed his arms and carefully listened. If the sphinx started to spout off a riddle, he would be prepared.

The sphinx opened its gigantic maw.

“What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening?”

“Oh,” Adrian said. That was the easiest riddle of all! Apparently, riddles weren't the Jugglernaught's specialty. “That's man.”

The sphinx gave a single nod before stepping aside.

“You did that quickly,” Unvisible suddenly commented from beside him. Adrian jumped in surprise. No matter how long they spent fighting crime together, he could never figure out where he was. Any comment from Unvisible was bound to startle him, and he was always terrified of accidentally stepping on his toes. (It had only happened once, and Unvisible had promised that it hadn't hurt that badly. But Adrian still felt guilty about it.)

“It's the sphinx's riddle,” he replied with a modest smile. “It's one of the most basic ones...If this first challenge was easy, maybe the others will be too?”

The others muttered words of agreement, though a general unease still hung about them. Supervillains were never easy to defeat – that was the point of them. How could someone come so far if they weren't that skilled? As Adrian wondered what could be in store for the Mighty Metro Monitors, he glanced at his companions. Even if it was difficult to defeat Jugglernaught, they could do it, right? There was a lot more of them than there was of the villain.

Then again, there was a lot more of the monkeys that proceeded to jump out of the shadows and attack them.

Chaos descended upon their group of heroes. He struggled to push off the monkeys, but to no avail. They were crawling all over him! They weren't attacking, per se, but they also weren't giving him much personal space. The others were dealing with a similar problem. Though the monkeys were an apparent challenge to overcome, none of them knew how to fight something so cute.

Without warning, the monkeys all started running towards Duplot. The others watched him in confusion, but then they realized that he was throwing bananas out to the monkeys. “Hammerspace,” he initially explained. When they continued to stare at him, he added, “They were just hungry.”

Adrian nodded in agreement, though he didn't know how Duplot had possibly come to that conclusion.

“Well, let's keeping going!” Super Captain Coolman eagerly announced, and the group traveled on.

Duplot Device

As the group followed after Coolman's lead, Duplo commented: "That diversion was pretty bananas. We really ought to stop monkeying around," he said with a cheesy smile and laugh. But the smile quickly faded, and he looked into what ought to have been the author's eyes. There was a brief pause.

"That was bad even for you."

The rest of the superheroes nodded in agreement.

Guys, there's a super villain you're supposed to be fighting. Stop breaking the fourth wall.

Conveniently, they heard an echoing laughter that caught their attention, and all of their heads turned to the source. It was eerie and booming sound that reached them from their place at the edge of the circus. In the distance, they could see the main circus tent, suddenly illuminated from the inside. If ever there were a way for their enemy to announce himself, this was an effective way to grab their attention.

"Is that meant to scare us?" King Croc asked mockingly. Rachel, however, cowered in fear behind him.

"Well, typically, a villain's evil laugh can make all the difference when it comes to how intimidating they are," Skunk replied matter-of-factly, though she did feel her hairs raise on her back a bit at the sound of the laugh.

"To the tent!" Captain Coolman announced with passion. "Don't be afraid! It sounds like this guy's bark is probably worse than his bite!"

Coolman charged off towards the tent, running through the crowd of now full and feeding monkeys. The group of superheroes continued to follow him bravely, only glancing a little at the monkeys lying around devouring all of the bananas.

"Monkeys aren't reliable, or scary creatures." King Croc commented as they sprinted behind Coolman. "You know, this is nothing compared to the time I faced the giant croc of the Floridian marshes -"

There was a groan from most of the members of the group. They'd heard that story before - exactly 47 times to be exact.

"Now's not the time, Croc!" Skunk complained.

"We really should be focusing on the Jugglernaught," the Actor commented, with Duplo alongside him to send Croc a stern look.

Croc only rolled his eyes, refraining from a reply as they burst into the entrance of the arena. Though the arena was mostly empty, there looked to be someone tied up, hung up high and dangling from a rope in the middle of the arena. The air all about looked to be polluted with fog pouring out of fog machines, and as the entered the lights all turned suddenly on the figure of the poor innocent civilian.

Ignoring the laughter that again began to manifest itself from an undeterminable dark corner of the arena, Coolman and Duplo exchanged determined looks.

Coolman sped off into the air towards the civilian - a middle-aged woman, probably a mom or something. Meanwhile the group below prepared to both distract, defend, and watch Coolman's back. They watched as Coolman flew towards the distressed woman, and suddenly, Duplo transported to her exact location. He held onto the rope supporting her, and, pulling a pair of giant shears from hammerspace, snapped the rope.

With seemingly planned coordination, Coolman sped below them just in time to catch the woman, while Duplo transported back to the group. However, as Coolman was still flying over to them to reunite with his crew and get the lady out of danger, a large, ominous shadow rose from behind him. A massive robotic hand reached out, and they heard the clown's laugh again, but this time, it seemed louder - it was closer. The Jugglernaut had finally showed himself.

Coolman had been able to fly away soon enough to be out of the Jugglernaut's reach, zooming past Skunk as he returned to the crew. He set the woman down, and Duplo freed her from the ropes by cutting them away. Rachel helped the woman up and hurried her to the exit, while the rest of the heroes in the group began advancing towards their revealed foe.

The giant robot clown wore an unchanging smile as it stared down at the heroes.

"Finally, you've arrived!" The Jugglernaut laughed.

Defiant looks from the heroes.

"Just in time to defeat you!" Coolman called back, striking a heroic pose, and moving a hair that was out of place on his head.

The Jugglernaut seemed amused by this, despite him being in a robot, and therefore, unable to communicate more than one outward expression than the one painted on his face.

"You've got it the wrong way around, Captain Coolman. You're the ones who are going to be defeated," he retorted, and as soon as his last words left his mouth, he charged at them with alarming speed, his big metal fist flying straight for Rachel, who'd only just rejoined them after escorting the woman away from the scene of the fight. Screaming, she stood frozen in place.

"Get out of the way!" Croc yelled.

Then, she seemed to be pushed and carried out of the way by an invisible force - or rather - the Unvisible force. Relief passed over the other heroes as they saw Rachel, who looked as if she were floating, move just in time. The metal fist slammed right beside them, stirring dust up from the ground. Then the real fight ensued.

King Croc shifted his arm and hand into a giant bear claw, and latched onto the grounded robot fist. The Actor shifted as well, taking on the form of Coolman, and both the Actor (as not-Coolman) and Coolman came around the clown on either flank. Duplo transported so he was behind the robot, ready to take him by surprise while he was distracted.

But then he- and everyone - was caught by surprise instead.

Skunk screamed from behind them all. How did she get there? What kind of plot hole convenience is this?

As all of their heads turned, they saw a huge splash as Skunk flew - as if thrown - into a large tank of water. Before they had a chance to even respond, suddenly the Jugglernaut's hand flew up and Croc, whose grip had previously been adequate, was thrown off and followed right after Skunk. As the two rushed up to the top of the tank and gasped for breath, suddenly a lid slammed down, locking as it did so. The water level met the lid, and suddenly, Skunk and Croc were forced into a game of time: how long could they hold their breath before the heroes were able to get to them?

While their heads were turned and distracted, the Jugglernaut spun his arms around, and whacked both the Actor and Captain Coolman across the arena, turning around to face Duplo as he did so. Duplo reached his hand out to reach into hammerspace, but as his fingers grasped for the tool he was hoping to grab, a giant robot foot launched into his gut and he flew flying back, skidding and hitting up against the giant water tank. He groaned. The hit still hurt despite not breaking through his impenetrable skin. As he turned his head and started to get back up, he saw Croc and Skunk both holding their breath, watching him in a wide-eyed panic.

Croc shifted his head to a fish (did that make it easier to breathe?). Skunk, however, was just trying to hold on.

"We'll get you out of there!" He called out.

Duplo could feel the urgency, and dipped his fingers into hammerspace as he felt the shadow of the Jugglernaut fall over him again. Surely there must be something that can break open the glass. I just have to find-

King Croc and Rachel

Duplo pulled a giant mallet out of thin air and smashed through the glass tank. King Croc and Skunk spilled out a sopping wet mess.

"...And soon, the city will be mine!" The Jugglernaut, who had clearly just finished his obligatory villainous monologue, jumped through a hole in the ground and disappeared. King Croc picked up his hat and shook it out.

"Not the most subtle bloke in the world, is he?"

"BLAST!" Captain Coolman hollered from the center of the ring, drawing all eyes to him. "He escaped!"

"No, Really?" Croc shouted back. "Maybe we should call you 'Captain Obvious' instead."

"Now's not the time for snappy comebacks! We must go after him before he destroys the world!"

"Well actually he only ever mentioned taking over the city" Duplo corrected him. "Not the entire world."

Captain Coolman dropped a few feet in altitude, fumbling with his words. "I was--You--Don't dispute my motivational speeches with logic!"

King Croc laughed "Aw man! Put down by the Magic Eraser. That hurts!" Both Captain Coolman and Duplot Device glared at him.

"So like, are you guys coming, or..." Everyone started a bit at the sound of Unvisable's voice, echoing from the hole.

"Unvisable!" Coolman shouted with a bit to much dramatic distress "How did you get down there?!"

There was a deadpan pause. "I jumped?"

"Team!" Captain Coolman whirled around to face the rest of the heroes. "I've just had a brilliant idea! We must jump down into the Jugglernaut's secret Lair."

"Didn't Unvisable think of that first--?"

Captain Coolman cut Duplo off by diving into the hole. King Croc looked over at Skunk. Skunk looked up at him. Then she shrugged and charged toward the hole. She jumped in with a cry of "Wait for me!" and was quickly followed by the others. Rachel hovered by the edge.

"Oh my." She squeaked. "It's awfully dark down there..."

King Croc shoved her hard between the shoulder blades. Rachel shrieked and fell into the hole, which thankfully wasn't that deep. Croc jumped after her. He only fell a short distance before his feet hit the ground. He shook the dust off of his cape. "Well, that was easy."

"EASY?!" The Jugglernauts voice boomed from all around. Spotlights illuminated the room they'd jumped into. Lining the walls were identical doors. "YOU'VE FALLEN STRAIGHT INTO MY TRAP. NOW SUFFER AT THE PAWS OF MY TERRIBLE TIGERS!!!!"

Rachel flattened herself against the wall. Duplo, no doubt shaken by the incredible alliteration the Jugglernaut had used, stumbled back as well. The doors began to crank open.

"Never fear!" Captain Coolman, taking off into the air. "I'll simply fly us all to safe..." The trapdoor closed over his head. "ty...."

Glowing eyes opened inside the dark cages. Rachel whimpered.

"Those eyes are awful close to the ground for such a big animal." The Actor muttered

"Well as amazingly interesting as that is, I'm more interested in their teeth right now." Skunk whispered fiercely.

The tigers all paced forward, emerging from their enclosure. Everyone stared. King Croc burst out laughing.

"housecats? You can't be serious."

"I'm dealing with a few budget cuts!" The Jugglernauts voice seemed to have lost its formidable echo.

King Croc snorted. "No, no. I'm scared, really. Can't you see me? I'm trembling in my cape here!"

Duplo reached his hand into an undefinable point in space and came out with a laser pointer. "I've got this, guys."

“The pointer isn’t working!” Duplo nervously exclaimed as the cats crept closer, mewling softly. They were far from intimidating, but as heroes, it was the team’s job to set the tone. This was a conclusive confrontation, and so it was imperative they followed through on the necessary mood.

“Oh dear, whatever shall we do?” Captain Coolman said, also feinting anxious fear.

The Unvisible sidestepped. “You were shining it on my back. I guess laser pointers don’t go through me when I’m invisible.”

The red light shone on the ground before the cats, and like a group of cats attracted to a laser pointer, the group of cats was attracted to the laser pointer. Duplo herded the “tigers” off to a corner, giving the Actor the chance to open the door they had been guarding. The team filed through it, Duplo last, and pulled the door shut to keep the swarming cats from following. They looked into the dark room, watching as one by one spotlights came on.

“YOU DID WELL TO OVERCOME MY FIRST TRAP,” the Jugglernaut said through a loudspeaker.

“They were cats,” Rachel said, unamused.

“YOUR FACE IS A CAT!”

“Hey!”

“I APOLOGIZE. THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR. MOVING ON, YOU MAY HAVE BEATEN MY FIRST TRAP, BUT THIS NEXT TRAP WILL HAVE YOU SWEATING YOUR SWEATERS. MILLIONS OF SMALL FIRING SQUADS-”

“Small firing squads? How does that work?” King Croc asked, voicing everyone’s confusion.

“LOOK GUYS, CAN I JUST GET THROUGH MY MONOLOGUE? IT’S IMPORTANT FOR A VILLAIN TO SHARE HIS DASTARDLY PLAN.”

“You’re right. Sorry,” Symphonious Skunk said.

“ANYWAY, THOSE FIRING SQUADS ARE ORDERED TO SHOOT WHATEVER THEY SEE MOVING. A LEVER ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE ROOM IS CAPABLE OF DISABLING THEM. IF YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO DISABLE THEM, THEN-”

The sound of a lever clicking interrupted his monologue. The Unvisible was on the far side of the room, waiting patiently for the team of superheroes to follow him across and into the final room, where the Jugglernaut would be waiting.

“Of course!” Captain Coolman exclaimed in realization. “The firing squads couldn’t see him, because he’s invisible. Great thinking, buddy!” Together they all moved on into the last room. Inside, the Jugglernaut was waiting. He appeared quite angry, and without hesitation, began to attack them. Large metal balls were stacked in the back of the room, and he was lifting them with a powerful handheld magnet and throwing them wildly at the team.

Flying just out of range of the balls, Coolman shouted to his team. But they didn’t need his commands, not anymore. They were in the heat of battle, at which point the only true order were instincts. A metal ball went soaring towards Rachel, but King Croc, with an arm now shapeshifted into that of a gorilla, reached out and caught it. He threw it back to the adversary, giving Coolman a blindspot to pick up Rachel and soar towards the Jugglernaut. Meanwhile, Skunk had turned into his namesake, and placed himself in front of the villain.

Fearful of spray, the Jugglernaut lurched backwards, sending the metal balls all over the room. By then, Coolman and Rachel were close enough, and Rachel tapped the shoulder of their opponent. His magnet was pulled into her hand, and in one fluid motion, Duplo teleported next to her, grabbed it, and teleported back to a safe range.

Now distraught, the Jugglernaut pulled out a mini gun from some undistinguished space, and began to fire metal balls rapidly and unpredictably. The Actor shapeshifted into the Jugglernaut, and forgetting the Actor’s for a split second, the real Jugglernaught hesitated to fire at himself. He quickly realized what was happening, but the moment of hesitation gave the Unvisible the time to cross No Man’s Land unseen and slide under the weapon. Hastily, he fiddled with it until the clip of ammo fell out of the bottom. Catching it, the Unvisible tossed it to Coolman.

The Jugglernaught fell to his knees. “I’m out of tricks. You win. Well played, Captain Coolman. I suppose you’ll kill me, then?”

“Of course not! We’re the good guys! No no, instead we’ll be locking you inside a high-security prison for you to live out your days within,” explained Captain Coolman from under his distractingly perfect hair.

“You do realize I’ll probably escape in a few months, right? 90% of your villain problems could be solved by just killing the villains in the first place.”

“We are, of course, aware of both facts you have stated. But, we are still the good guys, and we are set in our ways. Now, please spin around so I can handcuff you with these fancy handcuffs. Thank you. Okay, hold tight, we’ll be flying to the prison. Good bye, my team! I shall see you later!” Coolman and the Jugglernaught flew up through the roof, into the air and off into the distance.

“Okay, let’s pack it up.” King Croc said.

“I’m out,” Rachel casually announced.

“Same,” spoke the Actor.

“Later.” The Unvisible waved.

“See ya,” said Duplo.

“Wait, that’s it? Guys, I ordered a pizza to celebrate! We just beat a villain! Where are you all going?” Symphonious Skunk called after them, but they were already long gone.

Dare Devil Diecast – A little misadventure

This story begins, like many stories could, in a train. A “fothermucking train”, as the story’s main character would say. Now, before diving into the story, it should be noted that the “fothermucking” expression is a play on a much cruder word, which shall not be written in this text for the sake of keeping it safe for kids.
Although, it should also be noted that kids should not necessarily read this story, for its main character is certainly not an example to follow – as shown in the following paragraphs.

This story, as previously mentioned, begins in a train. A train inside of which a young man was located. The young man, who went by the name DareDevil Diecast (Diecast, for short, Die for friends, DDD for… friends, too) was odd. Or at least, he appeared as odd in the eyes of every other passenger of the train’s twenty-third wagon, and to their defense, Diecast himself could easily understand why. He was, after all, wearing his working attire, which included a blue jumpsuit with a golden six-faced die on the chest, a belt with the same emblem on it, and leather gloves and boots.
Uncommon, you may think? Oh, certainly.

But of course, since Diecast was listening to a music with his Mp3, he was aware of the looks but paid no mind. Which is why he was very late to react once everybody except him began to scream, shout, run for their lives or, for the more creative ones, jump out the train’s window. Eventually, Diecast realized that chaos was happening all around him, and removed his earphones.

“...Oh. Oh!” Diecast exclaimed as he finally began to hear the screams, calls for help and infernal noises of the people around him. By the time he rose from his seat, he was the only passenger left in the wagon. Well, if the two criminal-looking, black cloth-wearing, hood-hidden, wand-wielding individuals in the distance weren’t counted as passengers, of course.

“Hey, there’s one more.” one of the hood-men began as his face turned in Diecast’s direction.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I’m going to need you to put your hands in the air.” the second one said with a feminine voice.

“Oh, you’re a woman.” Diecast realized. “Whew, that’s good to know. We really need more diversity in criminality. Um, you are here to rob people, right?”

Both of the hood-me- hood people nodded. “Yes, indeed.” the woman spoke, as her colleague pointed his shinning wand at Diecast. “And thank you! We do lack representation in the field, nowadays.”

Diecast sighed as he put his hands in the air. “Yeah… I grew up watching cartoons, and I never realized that was an issue because I kept finding pretty awesome women. Mostly, y’know, Amazons.”

“Aren’t those… super-sexualized?”

“Eh, depends on who designs them. The ones I saw had more like… abs. And their clothes and weaponry were made thanks to legendary beasts they defeated, which I think is pretty cool. And uh, I was like… eight? I didn’t really care about the lack of clothes, for some of ‘em.”

“Right. No hormones to worry about – that does make it a lot better.” the hooded woman gazed at her colleague. “Go check if he’s got anything, by the way.”

“On it.”

“Ah, no, you shouldn’t.” Diecast replied as he pointed one of his raised hands at the advancing man. Said man froze again – but this time, because Diecast’s hand had turned into an arm-mounted cannon. “Okay so, here’s the thing.” Diecast warned. “We can both shoot each other now, but I’m probably going to cause more trouble than you.”

“Oh, you’re a thief too?” the woman asked, pointing her own wand at Diecast.

“No, a… hero in training? I thought my outfit gave it away.”

“We’ve confirmed a lot of cosplayers in this train, you know.”

Diecast blinked. “,...Well that’s a problem. The point I was trying to get at, though, is that my weapon here – call it Danger Dice – can copy the structure of any object it encounters, and then fire it back whenever I want. And as it happens, I have six of them already stored inside.” he smirked. “And I have no idea which one is going to come out first. So, if you force me to fight here, I might shoot a car at you by complete accident. Or a bomb. Or a shoe – which, at full speed, could still hurt. A lot.”

“...Are you sure you’re not a thief?” the woman insisted.

“Hey, come on, there’s a reason why I’m still in training!” Diecast exclaimed.

“I’m… Eighty percent sure he’s bluffing,” the hooded man interrupted, taking a few steps away from Diecast just in case.

Diecast, in return, triggered the mechanism of his Danger Dice. An egg-shaped orange projectile came out of it and, in a flash of light, let a go kart come out of it. The bandit had around zero point thirty-six seconds to register the new information before the go kart hit him, sending him flying against the wall behind.

“No, no I’m not.” Diecast calmly concluded as he approached his enemies. The man had been knocked unconscious – thank goodness Diecast hadn’t aimed for the head – and the woman had been taken in the blast. She was disarmed, but also very, very scared.

“So, why don’t you tell m–”

“I’m not moving from here until the police comes in – I have no other weapon, you can call them – Edd ‘Eddollar’ Larson is the one behind this operation, you can get to him directly by traveling from wagon to wagon and his powers include turning things into money, which raises the power of his, um, well, powers.”

Diecast grinned. “Anything else?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Thank you! And sorry, this… isn’t your best day, probably.”

The woman shrugged. “I’m not well-paid for this, and not well-treated, either. I’ll just go back to being a secretary, or pursue my lifelong dream of being a ghostwriter.”

Diecast grimaced. “That… is it judgmental if I think that it’s a bit sad?”

“Maybe, but you’re not the first, and screw you.”

With that dialogue over, Diecast jumped over the defeated foes and entered the next wagon. He made quick work of the other underlings met on the way – after all, few of them could truly expect anyone to throw chairs, teapots, doors or even billiard tables at them with the speed of a bullet – called the police to make sure they’d arrive on time to take care of the defeated goons, then went on his way to the second to the last wagon.
It was there that he met with Eddollar, a rather tall man dressed in green from head to toe. Well, his XXL-sized business suit was green: the sports shirt below, however, was white.

“Who dares,” he began, back turned towards the commands of the train, “to disturb the peaceful operation of–”

Diecast raised his Danger Dice and fired: a metallic chair flew towards Eddollar. Luckily for the latter, he began his turning motion just in time to witness the item and jump out of the way. “Wow! What the hell, man?!”

“...Wh-What?” Diecast frowned. “Am I not doing this right?”

“Well… No! I’m supposed to, like, start a big, strong, super intimidating villain intro thing!”

“Oh, right. And then we fight?”

“Noooo-nononono.” Eddollar disagreed, shaking his bald pale head with a sigh. “Then, you answer with heroic banter, and like, you mention how you defeated everybody before reaching this point. ‘Cause I’m kinda like the last, uh...”

“The final boss?”

“Yeah! The final boss.”

“Gotcha, gotcha. Then we get to the epic one-liners, right?”

“The-e-e-e-ere we go!”

Diecast nodded studiously before pulling out a notebook out of his back pocket, reading the first few pages with intense focus. “...Hmm… But I’ve been told that in Speeding-Train Emergency situations, I should push the skip button and expect villains to do the same.”

“Well, yeah,” Eddollar retorted, “but if the Speeding Train isn’t set in Derail Emergency, then obviously you don’t do that. You took that from H & V: Gateway to Spotlight, right?”

“Yeah, by, uh, Stain Gorshe?”

“That’s his pen name, but yeah. Well, there ya go, just re-read, like… The fourth chapter, I think, and the general rules should be there.”

“Got it. Um, I did call the police, though.”

“Ah, well, that makes it a Villain Emergency situation. So I get to skip stufthe f and go straight to action.”

“Before we begin: why bald?”

“I didn’t choose this life, I didn’t choose this body, I didn’t choose my darn genes.”

“Fair enough.”

A second passed, then Eddollar raised a talismanic card – which was actually just a single dollar, with elaborate yet hideous blue markings on it – and stuck it on the metallic bar next to him: it immediately multiplied into five versions of itself. A second card, and they flew in Diecast’s direction. The latter responded by rapidly spinning his arm-cannon – which was one Diecast’s many Trick Shot motions, the effect of which shall be described in the following lines – as if drawing a circle in the air. Then he fired, and a billiard table came out of his Danger Dice, spinning around like his arm a second ago. It served as a good enough shield to deflect the metallic bars. Then, Diecast fired again, and a mahogany door sent itself alongside the billiard table towards Eddollar.

“Wow!” Eddollar shouted again with a resounding lack of creativity. Though he had enough space to evade the two straight projectiles, he found himself cornered between them and the previously thrown chair. As he feverishly pulled out five new dollar talismans from his pocket, Diecast fired another shot, this time slightly moving his arm on the left before doing so. Another metallic chair came out of his Danger Dice, its four legs forward. Said four legs planted themselves on the wall behind Eddollar, with the criminal trapped between them.

“So, uh...” Diecast said as he pointed his Danger Dice at Eddollar’s head. “Why d’you decide to hijack the train and steal from the passengers again?”

“I needed a hat. And hair implants. I really want hair.”

“That… That makes sense.” Diecast muttered to himself, barely paying attention to the teapot shot from his Danger Dice.

So! How did the story end, you may ask? Well, Eddollar was immediately knocked out from the shot – it was, after all, a head shot – Diecast stopped the train at the next station to allow the police’s intervention, and, as a bonus, it was the station he wanted to reach to begin with. Eddollar’s gang was arrested, though the sole woman from said gang mysteriously disappeared after somehow convincing the police that she wasn’t involved with the operation (surprisingly, she managed to swap an innocent person’s clothing with hers after knocking them out). Her name is Nikki Steps, and her internet alias is Footsteps. She still plans to become a ghostwriter.

That, however, is another, very much meaningless story, but perhaps shards of it will come to light whenever Diecast meets that lady once more. For now, running as fast as possible towards the Megapolis. Ah, how easily time passed, after paying every last bill of collateral damage counted by local police!

"Only the quickest of minds can detect the devious thoughts of a villian. One must be able to think just as deviously, and yet stay above their habitually illegal lifestyles. Slight of hand and a carefully crafted composure are key advantages to winning a battle, but even those cannot guarantee a sure win. Sometimes it is only the luck of the draw that allows one to prevail over his enemies... And one cannot be ashamed to admit he has drawn the wrong cards in life, even if his own abilities may surpass those of his opponents."

"Ha, no cards left! I win!"

Duplot slapped his cards down on the table, throwing his hands up in mock desperation.
"Please, someone tell me how Rachel keeps winning at Uno."

"It's because you're too focused on monologing instead'a playing the game!" Skunk snickered, elbowing Duplo playfully.

Rachel giggled shyly, wrinkling her nose as she commented, "I'm only winning because Unvisible kept forgetting to say Uno."

Unvisible appeared for a moment, looking rather sullen.
"I forgot my cards weren't invisible... We should have played poker instead. I'm way better at that!"

Skunk glanced at her black-and-white watch.
"Ayy, guys, C.C.'ll be back any minute now. Best be ready when he does come. Croc, quit preening yourself in the mirror and get your gear together." She glanced around the room, gnawing on her nail.
"Where'd I put my boots... I thought they were over 'ere!" Her nose twitched and she sniffed the air. She strode across the floor in her zebra-stripped socks, sniffing the air again.
"Where in..." She titled her head back, seeing her boots dangling from the ceiling. A couple unidentifiable snickers came from behind her.
"Oh, very funny, all of you." She tried leaping up to get them, but they were too high up. Several valiant efforts later, she started rooting around for a ladder. Just then, like a bolt of greasy lightning, Super Captain Coolman burst through an open window and yanked the boots down.

"There you are, my good sidekick." he said, carefully wiping burger grease off his chin.

"Thanks, C.C... You got the new mission for us? And where'd you get a burger??" Skunk asked, pulling a burger wrapper out of his hands.

"Well, a superhero has to eat, don't they?" Captain Coolman said, trying to flash his signature smile. It was ineffective on the irritated rodent.

"Uh huh... All right then, what's the mission?"

Before Captain Coolman could speak, however, there was a distinct rumbling from the floor below them, quickly advancing towards the door. Rachel daintily walked over to the door to look at the video screen. She froze for a moment.

"Oh no..." Before she could jump back, the door was dramatically kicked off its hinges, knocking her flat. A pair of golden eyes lit up the hallway, which was dark for no reason at all, matched by the glowing gold die on the figure's chest.

"Greetings, fellow superheroes. My name is..." The figure got no further before King Croc tackled him, pinning him to the floor as he yelled, "You just flattened my secretary... I mean sidekick, mate! This here is a private superhero meeting. No villains allowed!"

"Woah, easy there, Croc." Captain Coolman said. "He's our newest team member, DareDevil Diecast."

"Oh." With a slight cough, Croc got up and lifted Diecast off the floor.
"In that case, welcome to the team, mate! Can't be too careful these days with all these villains around, amiright?"

Diecast was ushered into the room, obviously irritated at a ruined first impression. He sat down on one of the couches, brushing off dust from his suit. Actor emerged from the kitchen where he had been raiding the nacho bar. He smiled slightly and plopped down next to Diecast.
"I know how that feels, believe me. Welcome to the team!" He offered his tortilla chip-dusted hand to Diecast, who had regained his smile again.

"All right everyone, please take a seat. We have important matters to discuss." Captain Coolman said, seating himself in his comfy armchair

By this time, Rachel had been rescued from under the door and Skunk had found an icepack for her head. She seated herself on the opposite side of the room from Diecast, shooting pointed looks at him every once in a while. The others gathered back around, all except for Unvisible, who had decided to sneak off to the nacho bar during the meeting.

"Now, we've all received outstanding compliments for our last mission. The Jugglernaught was a tough opponent, but we all came together as a team to defeat that dastardly master of funny business, and I'm proud of all of you. However, the Boss Man has issued us a new mission, and this one involves a pair of villains."

"Sure hope it's not the Dynamic Duo!" Rachel piped up from the back of the room. She jumped as Unvisible appeared beside her, a confused look on his face.

"That's Batman and Robin... They're superheroes, not villains, aren't they?"

Rachel moaned. "I think you just made my headache worse..."

"But they aren't bad guys, so why would we fight them?"

"Hey, guys, Batman and Robin aren't real, so let's move on, all right?" Skunk snapped at them.

"Right, no use in getting into arguments about fictional characters. The pair of villains we'll be fighting offer a unique challenge. They're the Troublesome Twins, Trent and Kiki, and they just so happen to be 11 years old. However, don't let their age fool you. These twisted twins are deceptive and cunning, with a master plan of holding all of Metropolis hostage until they are given control of all the candy stores in Metropolis. However, their instability has led the Boss Man to believe they won't stop there. They have an arsenal of destructive toys they plan to unleash, as well as their own special powers. We've been particularly warned about Kiki's variety of robotic Cabbage patch dolls, which are wired to detonate in the presence of all things good and honest."

"That sounds ridiculous, if you ask me..." Duplot muttered.
"Fortunately, we didn't ask you, so let's just keep going." King Croc chuckled at his own joke, attempting to fill the awkward silence.

With a polite cough, Captain C. carried on.
"All right then... So their current hideout is an elementary school on the west outskirts of Metropolis. Be warned that there may be civilians and innocent children involved, so be careful. The Troublesome Twins are dangerous, but must be treated carefully."

Skunk chimed in to the briefing.
"And do remember that they are kids. They have many of the same weaknesses as other kiddos have. 'cuz of this, I've placed Rachel in charge of a distraction technique: a bucket of candy. This is NOT for general consumption."

"What're you looking at me for??" Actor blurted out indignantly, which both Diecast and Duplo found absolutely hilarious. Coolman crossed his super muscular arms and beamed a super brilliant smile.

"Well then, fellow superheroes, I believe we're ready. Be sure to put on your best smile for the paparazzi!"

"Yeah, we don't get paparazzi..." Skunk muttered to Diecast, who looked a bit disappointed. The team quickly gathered up their array of gear, with Rachel in charge of snacks. The unsung hero of the Mighty Metro Monitors staggered under the weight of four bags of nachos, two cans of nacho cheese, and a value-sized bag of trail mix, along with the bucket of candy that she was prepared to guard with her life. Truly the strongest of heroes are able to blend into the crowd. With a few final touches, the Metro Monitors strode out of their base towards the transit system, the possibilities of the world looming before them. Ah, what a life!

Duplot Device

They were taking the subway.

Duplot sat squished between Captain Coolman and King Croc, hardly even able to sway with the rhythm of the subway cart for how securely he was wedged between the two bigger men. Across the way, Rachel sat with her lap piled high with snacks, haphazardly passing a plate of nachos over to Coolman.

Coolman eagerly dug in, accidentally elbowing Duplot in the ribs in the process.

"Do you mind?" Duplot complained.

"Oh! Do you want some?" Coolman shoved a cheesy chip in Duplot's face. Duplot's whole face scrunched up.

"No."

The cheesy chip was pulled back just before a drop of cheese fell - fortunately on Coolman's lap instead of Duplot's. Duplot let out a mildly annoyed groan and pushed himself out from between the two, grabbing a hand-hold in the aisle. He was just going to stand. He ended up beside Unvisible, which he only found out after Unvisible said: "Hey!" after Duplot bumped into him.

"Oh, sorry," Duplot said absent-mindedly, not really meaning it. Unvisible only responded with silence and some shuffling sounds that Duplot presumed meant Unvisible was moving. He sighed.

For whatever reason, he was feeling off his game. Where was his ability to pull an inspiring speech out of thin air? His ability to info-drop at the drop of a hat? Where was his heroic persona that the public seemed to admire? It was as if... he was reverting into his real self. His boring self. And that, he couldn't seem to reconcile with.

King Croc poked Duplot in the side.

"You think you're gonna have problems with the kids being dirty and stinky and all that?" Croc asked.

Duplot frowned. "Why do you say that?"

Croc smirked a little, gesturing to Duplot's perfectly clean white super suit. "You've kind of got a Mr.Clean feel about'chya, mate."

The Actor, directly across from Croc, hummed in agreement. "He's not wrong."

"Maybe you can put an end to their heinous mission by giving them a bath," Croc added with a laugh. Duplot only rolled his eyes.

"I doubt we'll be able to do that with all of the chaos they cause," Symphonious Skunk spoke up, mouth full of nachos.

"If it's chaos that's the problem," DareDevil Diecast spoke up. "I'm very good at handling chaos."

"You mean causing chaos," Skunk corrected him.

"Same difference," Diecast shrugged.

It was then that the subway cart slowly screeched to a halt. The civilians around them waited uncomfortably for the superheroes to all stand and gather by the door. As the heroes, in a somewhat uncoordinated fashion, pushed out the sliding doors, Rachel straggled behind, still carrying all of the snacks - now more of a mess that they'd been opened - and had to weave her way through the crowd of normal people who thought, somewhere on the line from regular civilian to hero, she probably fell in the "crazy lady with nachos and candy" category.

But as she joined up with the heroes, perhaps they thought differently.



Rachel sat out in the middle of the school's courtyard with a bucket of candy and the conscience of every well-meaning dentist being violated by the sheer existence of so much tangible tooth decay in one place. Sitting in the shadows behind the pillars of the patio looking out at her, were Duplot and DareDevil - or what Coolman liked to call the double D team. Duplot wasn't going to complain about it, but technically it's was five D's. Duplot Device. Dare Devil Diecast. That was clearly five. How hard was it to count?

Oh well.

Skunk and Coolman had the perimeter of the school. Croc, the Actor, and Unvisible were canvassing the inside of the building, all the while little kids were still being picked up from school.

Altogether a stressful situation with so many civilians around, but at the least the principal was understanding and let them in once school let out. Their mission was for the greater good, after all.