Young Writers Society

"Okay, @Tortwag, let's get this straight," Feltrix replied. "No one summons the Cosmic Squid. It goes where it wants. More importantly, though, the Cosmic Squid is a fourth-dimensional trans-temporal being, and couldn't be killed by a 3-d being like you. It merely left the third dimension." Feltrix massaged his temples. These three-dimensionals were so tiresome; they couldn't understand basic quantum physics. "And @Sheyren could never control the Cosmic Squid. No one controls the Cosmic Squid. I considered erasing him from the timeline for taking credit. And you, of course. But the Cosmic Squid has decreed you both be spared. That way, you can kill each other."

@RippleGylf burst into the fray, dual-wielding cans of silly string. After successfully coating both @Mage and @ElizabethLovelace in neon pink, Ripple quickly realized that she had no idea what was going on. She looked again at the scroll that summoned her to this battlefield of pranks.
"Let's see here... skirmish at Taco Bell, fearless leaders captured... a rescue mission, then?" Ripple glanced at Lovelace, covered in silly string. "Apologies for the friendly fire, commander. Couldn't help it." She smiled.

With a mighty shout of "Eulalia!", Ripple leapt back into action, attempting to spin a web of purple around the captors.

Ripple used String Shot!

It wasn't very effective...

"...And I thought temporal anomalies and paradoxes were weird..."

“Well,” Mage said, attempting to pull some of the silly string off but failing miserably, “this is another first for April. I was rickrolled multiple times on the first and now I'm coated in sticky stuff.” Technically, she had been rickrolled before when she had posted a motivational quote on her wall, but that hadn't been the same – she had never been linked to the actual video on YouTube.

She looked around for someone she could turn to for assistance. Her eyes eventually settled on @JuliasSneezer. “Hey, Lias? I know you're not in The Revolution anymore, but do you have a diamond sword lying around?”

“Yeah!” Lias enthusiastically replied. “Just give me a second – I need to go into my vent.”

To Mage's amazement, a small ceiling and a vent appeared where there had been only air moments before. She watched, dumb-founded, as her friend climbed up into the vent. Only a minute later, Mage was free from the silly string at last. (Despite having only been covered for less than ten minutes, it still felt like an eternity.)

“What should we do now?” Mage asked. She removed one last strand from her bright blue hair. “I'm terrible when it comes to pranking. I don't even think I've pranked someone before.”

Lias thought for a minute. “We could ask some other people and get them to help us with our pranks.” She stared down at her phone for several minutes. “I'd say we should talk to @Love, @Sachiko, @ReisePiecy and @EternalRain.”

Mage checked her phone as well. “How did you come up with those-Oh. You just checked the people's tab. Well, I guess that's a good idea! Let's go ask them!”

“Then we can go look at the Cosmic Squid.”

“Okay-Wait, what?!”

“There's a Cosmic Squid. Didn't you see it? There's a whole cult and everything.”

Mage turned around. “How on Earth did I miss that? Also, why isn't @Sheyren more offended by this? It looks like that squid has a bigger following than Houston.”

Sheyren walked into the center of town, @SarukaTheHuman and @KaraStevens behind him. @Tortwag was standing on top of a building, cackling maniacally (as Tortwags do). He held the Toon Book in his hand, keeping it close to him instinctually.

"We need to take that from him... It's too dangerous for a semi-insane man to be wielding," Shey said, pointing to the book. "Saruka, you said you knew people who might be interested in helping us? A whole army, you promised."

"Yes, of course. I got backup. @AlexOfLight!" Out of the shadows emerged Alex.

"Uhhh, not to be rude, but Alex is one person... Four people have little to no chance of taking the book..." Shey spoke carefully.

"I beg to differ," Kara jumped into the conversation. "Because together, we four form the... Undersquad! Undersquad, roll out!"

Saruka looked at Kara funny. "We talked about this... Its Undersquad, unite!"

"No, roll out sounds better!"

Sheyren looked at Alex and facepalmed. She shrugged. "I'm only here cause they said there's be cookies."

"At this rate, no one is gonna get that book away from Tort."

"And there's that giant squid," Alex added. "What's the deal with that thing, anyway?"

"As if I would know. I worship Houston, a tan llama god. I try to ignore the lesser religious beings like squids," Shey said in disgust. Squids were disgusting, especially giant squids which stole followers from the overlord Houston.

"Maybe we should help Tort destroy the squid, so Houston can remain supreme," Kara suggested.

"And then backstab him, because that book can't stay in his hands," Saruka said.

"Also because I really want it," Alex chimed in.

Shey had a lightbulb go off above his head. "I think I have a plan!"

And then a cliffhanger ensued.

Kira sniffed the air, noticing a distinctly fishy smell. Looking up, he noticed a giant squid. He chuckled, walking out of the town.

"Oh, the beings that these realm dwellers worship... then again if a scenario can be imagined, it will happen according to Rule 12..." Kira muttered, following a path through a heavily forested area. Thunk

Silly string exploded into Kira's face, with enough force to knock him back a few steps. He quickly cleaned it off himself, frowning. "This isn't April, is it?" he questioned, slapping an empty can of silly string into nothingness. "I always do lose track of Time, it's one of the worst precepts I created..."

Kira continued down the path, humming. He approached a flaming village, with the squid positioned above it.

"Here I was hoping to have a happy fun time, not get into a fight," groaned Kira, noticing a rather prominent @Tortwag cackling on a rooftop. Casting his eyes around, he could also see @SarukaTheHuman, @KaraStevens, and @Sheyren observing the behavior of Tortwag as buildings crumbled to ash.

"Such a shame. War doesn't determine who is right... simply who is left," muttered Kira under his breath. Kira walked over to Sheyren's group, sniffing the air. "What's with the woefully unpoetic man on the roof?"

Tortwag stopped cackling. "...The heck? Why am I on a rooftop? Why are buildings still collapsing? Why is the squid still there? HEY, PEOPLE, I STOPPED ATTACKING ANYTHING TWO POSTS AGO, DON'T DRAG ME BACK IN!"

The Shell Master teleported himself at the building's base, pointing an accusing finger at @Sheyren and his ragtag group of people-who-had-somehow-come-to-defy-Tortwag-for-some-reason.

"I dropped down from a sand bird and crashed next to @Lumi's location thing on my last post!" Tortwag complained. "Why d'you teleport me back here? A man's gotta have his April full of battle descriptions! and I got 'em! So if you wanna battle, gimme some more battle-holic descriptions! I AM NOT A WEAPON OF MASS-DISTRACTION!" Tortwag pointed at @KiraThePotatoChip. "I heard that by the way. And you, m'dear, don't seem to realize that I don't care who's right or who's left in a war, because, just in case it wasn't obvious enough...!" he pointed at his woefully unpoetic yellow magician suit, squared top hat and red boots for the sole purpose of stealing Kira's previous description of himself and reintroduce his clothing, "...I'm maaaaaad. Though if you want a serious discussion on views of war, we can have a tea party at my resort instead of pokemon battles." with that said, Tortwag snapped his fingers as a sudden earthquake engulfed the city: his Wiggler--AKA giant supersonic pet caterpillar, in case somebody missed that, despite this being THE THIRD TIME THAT I-- appeared behind him, visibly as grumpy as its master.

"Aight, this Apocalyspe of Quotes and References' has been goin' on long enough, I've got a squid I can't even catch in a Master Ball, and you lot want to steal MY Toon Book - which is kind of a bad plan because I mean I can literally just write another one - and I can't even end the thing I was supposed to end after starting it. So y'know what, I'm going back to my palace. I kinda don't know how to prank aside from destroying everything." Tortwag hopped on his wonderful pet, put the Toon Book back inside his shoulder bag and pointed at the group one last time.

"Blow yourself up or leave, I don't care which!"

And with that last quote, the Shell Master rode off in the non-existent sunset, muttering about wars, squids, fools and pranks.

Feltrix was bored by watching the war. Anyway, the most dangerous weapon that had been used for nine posts was silly string. He felt like seeing some carnage.

Maybe what this convoluted plot needed was an unexpected twist. To make something even more unexpected than everything else that was happening.

Feltrix grinned and teleported to the castle of @Tortwag. He glanced out the window, but the Shell Master was still riding a caterpillar half a mile away. Who used a caterpillar as a mount? Tortwag hadn't even waited for it to ripen! At least then it could fly. It would still be at least another fifteen minutes before the ridiculous creature arrived.

Feltrix willed time to stretch just a little bit, and Tortwag accelerated across the distance between them. Clouds shot across the sky, and the sun visibly drifted. In less than a Feltrix second, Tortwag had arrived.

The door banged open, and a rather flustered looking Tortwag stepped through it. "@Sheyren wants war for my book? The fool," he muttered. "But the squid....The squid must be a prank."

"Hello," Feltrix drawled.

Tort wag composed himself. Well, composed was the wrong word, but he looked a bit less deranged. "What are you doing in my favorite chair?" he snarled.

"Yes, it is nice, isn't it? You swing turn around whenever anyone enters the room, maybe even stroking a cat."

"It doesn't matter," Tortwag said. "Because I am a-"

"Yes, yes, you're a battle-holic, I read your previous posts."

"What are you doing here, anyway? Come to avenge your Cosmic Squid?"

"Well, I was thinking about it," Feltrix replied. "But I decided I'd let @Sheyren do it for me. Anyway, it seems you could use some assistance."

"What?"

"Well, you've got a rag-tag band of do-gooders rallying against you, and it appears they have the support of the Black King. @KiraThePotatoChip alone could be a thorn in your side. I read his credentials in the Oaken Tavern. Quite impressive. Oh, and Kira, I hope we can still have philosophical debates even though I'm allying against you. Nothing personal. Oh, and I need to finish that fight with @AlexOfLight..."

"What are you babbling about?" Tortwag growled. "Wait, are you... offering to help me?"

Feltrix's grin widened to the point where it gave the impression that he was vaguely insane. "If you prefer, I can kill your grandmother and erase this timeline. It's quite painless, I think."

"Grammsy..." Tortwag said. "Wait, what's the catch?"

"No catch. I just prefer writing villains, don't you?"

Everything fades to black. Maniacal laughter can be heard in the background.

"Lights, please." the scene lit up once more, with the Shell Master still looking grumpy.

"Why did you put the lights back on?" @Feltrix asked, being the first person to appear in a dialogue written by the one he had tagged again despite the fact that the previous post was meant to be an ending parody but still an ending with no post-ending scene typical to Marvel movies.

Tortwag lifted a finger. "I don't mind that chair. I have a throne. I highly prefer the throne." another finger was lifted. "It doesn't matter if a group here is rallying against me for this, because I stopped doing anything ages ago." then a third one. "I don't care about the squid, aside for the battle-driven descriptions I've already had fun with. And according to yourself, it's immortal, so, battling against it has become useless." then a fourth. "You're threatening a grandma that A: isn't even in the YWS Realm, and B: is. Already. Dead." finally, a fifth finger was lifted, so that Tortwag's entire hand obstructed Feltrix's view. "And finally, because at this point I might as well have fun with details: I don't call my grandma 'grammsy', because esqueceste que eu não sou inglês, portanto essa reacção mia era completamente impossivel, ce qui au passage est la raison pour laquelle tu devrais laisser tomber. Percebeste? Good. Now then! Enjoy your plot and conflict and squid or whatever, I'mma play some Team Kirby. Got a 4th Ordeal to farm for, so don't follow, lemme have my fun lil' ending and please don't force me to go all Log Out on this lil' realm, it would be a shame. So... bye. Oh and uh, since I can't tell if the ripen thing is comedy or not, Iwata's the family name of the guy who worked on the original Wiggler I'm referencing in this Apocalypse sub-plot. Since you accidentally included a dead person in this thing, you can always do that with Iwata, as he died too. May his soul rest in coins, stars and many mushrooms."

With that said, and with a mighty finger snap - which actually hurt said fingers more than it should've - Tortwag and his entire sub-realm disappeared with a bigger, faster, stronger, and absolutely fabulous...

((Guys, I can't believe I didn't know about this. Also, I'm no good at this.))

"What's the plan? I have a fight to finish here.", Alex the air type swordswoman said impatiently. "I could blow him off that building, and he'll go ka-splat."

"Huh. Hello, Alex. I thought we were going to finish this fight in the tavern, but okay. I should warn you, I kind of went god-modding here. Also, does anyone want to form a resistance against me? I feel like being a villain."

"Late as always to be realizing what's going on around me. This is what happens when I hear my name called without fact checking things..." he muttered, standing up from the ground. "Ah well, I still smell a war on the horizon," he grinned.

Kira dusted his pants, summoning a large bottle from Realm 8. He popped the cork and drank heavily from the vessel.

"Is that alcohol?" questioned @KaraStevens. Kira laughed, tossing the bottle into the Void.

"No, if only it was. Sadly I doubt the powers that be in this Realm would approve of intoxication of ungodly proportions," replied Kira, wiping his mouth. "Now, I smell a war coming, and I swear I heard someone talk about gathering forces," clapped Kira, summoning a redwood staff from his personal Realm. "Who needs an M.O.A.S.B.? Silly string shall rule this Realm!"

"What on earth is a M.O.A.S.B.?" questioned a rather exasperated @Sheyren. Kira grinned from ear to ear.

"Well, my mortal friend, it's a bomb. A really, really, really big bomb. And it's loaded with 200 megatons worth of silly string," informed Kira, as he moved his staff to intercept an orb of ice moving at Mach 2. Kira's staff exploded in his hand. "Aw, I liked that staff... Looks like a premature attack is already under way," said Kira excitedly, summoning an airship with a large glass orb attached to its bottom. He threw a few wards on the ship to prevent it from being damaged until the battle started.

"Impressive, but does it serve any purpose?" asked @SarukaTheHuman. Kira snapped his fingers, opening a rift into Realm 666. He threw a sealed letter down the opening and closed it off.

"Rule .083, For anything to exist, there must be a purpose. Whether that purpose was to waste time or a part of some things timeline, it does not matter, for it shall exist. Of course, I get to break the rules a little, but still, this airship can carry 100 troops, store up to one kiloton of cargo, hold 20 prisoners, and has 100 guns mounted on either side. She's a glass cannon she is, but I've reinforced the hull with titanium so it should take some more hits than usual," explained Kira as he jumped up to the main deck of the ship.

"Now, with some luck, I'll have an army of demons and other hell beasts within the hour! Let's hope @Remembrance received my letter to send some units armed with silly string!" shouted Kira, blocking a chunk of rock from the east.

I'm sitting at my desk in hell, doing the mountains of paperwork that Satan neglected when he was working in here. "He's lucky I even let him stay in the kitchens I swear" I mumble to myself as a letter flies into the room via a portal. Opening it, cursing Satan out, half expecting it to be another overdue bill for the fire pits, Reading it I realize that @KiraThePotatoChip was requesting a couple units, armed with Silly string no less. I roll my eyes and sit back at my desk.

"Units only come with melee weapons, Kira should know that." I think to myself as I pen another letter in response and pulling my staff files out and yelling for my office assistant to come here.

"Yes m'lady" @Basil says to me. I smile "Would you mind running to the surface and getting maybe 600 bottles of silly string, Kira is being a dunce and requesting some."

"Right away Mem" She says, disappearing. I call two of my most trusted Soldiers @Nikayla @Castor and tell them to pick their finest soldiers and prepare to leave the minute Basil returns.


Once they leave I turn back to my paperwork. Kira better have a good reason to be requesting man power for this.