Young Writers Society

Dafnie Serena Leto
Later That Night

"Mom?" I asked once I opened the front door.

The house was dark, other than the bathroom door. Light flew from underneath. I locked the door and made my way down the front room, towards the bathroom. Knocking on the door, I heard the toilet flush.

"Daffy, give me a second."

I stood back and waited. After a minute, she opened the door with a smile on her face.

"Honey, is everything okay with Isabelle?"

Tired read all over her. Her eyes were barely staying open and lined with red and her composure was slouched.

"I don't know, I left. I couldn't take waiting any longer." I paused. "The doctors wouldn't give us any information 'cause we weren't family."

"Well, they really can't. I'm so sorry Daf. Hopefully you'll know more tomorrow. Go shower, okay?"

I just nodded and went to shower. By the time I came out, my mom was fast asleep upstairs in her room. I knew sleep wouldn't be coming to me anytime soon, so I went into the living room and flipped open my laptop.

I opened the pictures application and out came albums from years past. I clicked the very first one. The tab grew and showed me a bunch of pictures from the last school year. A smiling Paul looked up at me from the screen. I had token this, hoping that he would make a funny face, but he didn't. He just smiled. And somehow, my heart sank and I felt sick to my stomach.

The house was so quiet, all you can hear is the air conditioning and the noise from outside, it was either cars or people or both.

My phone was right next to me, dead. Not as in battery life dead but dead, no one is talking to me. I clicked the home button on it and saw a picture of Thorne, Cole, and I smiling at the camera. I looked back at the computer screen and knew what I wanted to do. But this may not be the best idea.

I found his contact name in my phone and dialed him up, letting the dial tone play for a few seconds as my anxiety increased. I felt like my heartbeat could be heard from a mile away.

"Dafnie?"

My breath caught in my throat. His voice, it sounded both familiar and very new.

I took in a deep breath, "Paul,"

A second passed of just us breathing. I don't know what to do. The tension grew between us and I both wanted to hang up and not hang up.

"Dafnie, oh my God." He spoke up. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." My voice was raw.

"How's everything?"

"You know... you actually know. The biggest event, Isabelle called you to tell you about it."

"Ah," He took in a breath, making goosebumps rise on my skin. "That is... something."

"I don't know about her status,"

Again, we didn't speak. The house felt too small. My laptop was still on, Paul was smiling up at me. This was Junior year, the year everything changed. He found someone, I fell for him. We were all fucking dumb shits.

"This was a mistake. Have a good life Paul." I said sternly.

"What? Daf?" I hung up.

Looking at my phone, I saw his contact photo disappear. I threw it onto the floor with a loud thump. My heart was racing and somehow breathing wasn't easy.

Colette

Darkness. The grainy soulful notes of the cello filling my ears, rocking my soul. The tinkling piano combining with the mournful chello creating a harmony that I felt in my bones. It was all I could hear, all I knew. I only felt the mattress underneath me.

Then, a light touch.

My eyes flew open, adjusting to the light. Rupert is standing above me, and the spell is broken. All the embarrassment comes flooding back, strangling me.

I gingerly tug one earbud out of my ear before hitting the pause button on Spotify.

"Hey," I said, sitting up slowly.

"Hey." he lowered himself next to me.

"It was an accident," I whispered, not looking at him, a flush running through my cheeks.

"How to you get 'Philip' and 'Rupert' mixed up, Cole? How?" he said this quietly but he was trembling.

I opened my phone, going to my contacts, handing it to him.

He scrolled through it before stopping at Philip's name.

"Oh," Rupert said softly.

I gave him a small smile.

Dafnie Lato
Sky O'Leary
My Love
Philip Masterson

"It's categorized by last name," he said, and I nodded, pulling up the conversation.

"I saved it just in case," I said, "You can check the date and time stamps and everything. I didn't cheat."

"So you're telling me this just happened because you're a sap?" he asked. I bit my lip, nodding as I giggled a bit.

"Oh Colette," he said, pulling my closer. I tilted my head up to kiss him gently, my eyes fluttering closed as I enjoyed his lips against mine. Since the incident, we didn't kiss often.

"Hey Cole?" he said, "Who's Sky?"

"Oh, he's just a crazy Irish bloke I know from France. He wants to be a history teacher or something? I don't remember, we were friends forever ago."

"Cool. Oh, by the way," he said, "You have a beautiful body. The photos are gorgeous." he kissed the top of my head and I felt the heat spreading to my cheeks.

"Rup," I said, blushing even harder.

"It's the truth," he said, "I have a hot girlfriend. That's just the facts."

"You have a stupid girlfriend," I muttered, leaning into him.

"You're stressed out planning an entire wedding and trying to help take care of Isaac. It's okay. The wedding is in less than a week, I understand that things are slipping through the cracks."

"Yeah, but maybe we should just take the day and spend it together. I was sending the photos to you because I think I'm ready to do a bit more than kissing. Not too far but..." I trailed off.

"We have the apartment to ourselves," he said, not a question. A statement.

"Yeah," I whispered, giving him a small smile.

Isabelle

My heart was fluttering as I opened my eyes and saw a white light. It was bright and beautiful. There was a face appearing.. It was my mother.

"Isabelle.. It is time to wake up." Her voice was that of an angel.

"I wanna be with you. Mom, look at her." The baby girl was in my arms and she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever saw. Her eyes were big and she just stared at me.

I touched her face and just stared at her. "Makenna... That is your name my love." I talked to her and she cooed at me with a smile.

"Listen to me Isabelle. You have to go. It's not your time to come yet."

My mother was quite insistent that I left. There appeared a big brown door to my left. It opened up by itself.

"I will keep her safe." Mom took my baby but I couldn't even respond before I was pushed out of the door.

"Give her back!!!" I yelled.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Before I knew it I rushed up. My head was light and I was suddenly empty.

"Where's my baby?" I asked. No one was in the room with me. I felt my stomach and it was just skin. It didn't have a hard feeling anymore. I cried, it was all I could do. I didn't wanna be alive anymore.

The doctor rushed in my room and all he could do was hug me. He knew what I knew and I'm glad he didn't say anything.

"I saw her." I told the doctor.

He pulled away from me and looked at me as though I was crazy.

"My baby... She was with my mom... Mom... She told me she would take care of her.... I don't want her too.. I wanted to be the one caring for my baby." I continued on a rant that I just couldn't let go that my baby was gone.

I sat on the bed and just stared at the ceiling. Why did I deserve this?

Adrian

Colette decided to stay home for the day, so I went to the pool with Jessie and Isaac. The complex we lived in had a nice public pool that we liked to swim in so Isaac could be around other kids.

Jessie held him as he splashed around in his floaties, giggling and reaching out for me.

"Da" he said,

he said this frequently and I grinned, taking him from Jessie and spinning him gently in the air.

"So, family from France arrives tonight," I told Jessie, helping Isaac glide through the water.

"Oh, I forgot," she said, look a little apprehensive, "I haven't met any of them yet. How do your parents feel about the whole thing?"

"They thought you were a gold digger until I told them your Dad was Michael Gates, fashion mogul. After that they were just less than thrilled that I was getting married so young."

"And Isaac?" she asked, gesturing to her son.

"They hate that I'm a father so young and called me irresponsible. They're here just for appearance. I love my parents, but they can be really judgemental."

she pondered this for a moment, "How do they feel that you're in the process of adopting a son that isn't biologically yours?"

"They don't know," I said quietly.

"Oh." her brow furrowed, "Are you ashamed of him? Of my choices? Because of you're ashamed of my son, this isn't going to work. It's a crappy time to say th-" I cut her off, pressing my lips against hers.

"I talked to the adoption lawyer the other day, it will go through a month or so after the wedding, Isaac will be legally mine. I'm not ashamed that he didn't get my X chromosome, I'm waiting to tell my parents until legally they can do nothing. If they try to force my hand, blackmail me into coming back to France, they won't be able to once Isaac is legally mine because your Dad will sue the pants off my parents for child support, alimony, yada yada yada."

"He wouldn't-"

"I know he would never do that. In their minds, every one is ruthless," I finished explaining.

"I'm just ready for the day of the wedding, I'm ready to be your wife. I'm ready to have 2 and a half weeks with you on our honeymoon," she said, moving her body back and forth, allowing her arms to glide through the water.

"Speaking of which, you know I love Isaac to death, but Cole won't be there and..." she trailed off.

"And how are we going to have tons of hot sex without scarring our child?" I jokingly asked, and we both chuckled.

"Yes, that is going to be a bit of a problem, isn't it." she said, still laughing as Isaac gurgled and cooed.

"Well, we are going to be going to a very reputable resort, they are known to have an amazing childhood center for family vacations and honeymoons. And don't worry, we won't have to deal with screaming children running up and down the halls, we won't be with the other resort. They have retreat cabanas just off the beach for honeymooners and couples looking to be in solitude."

she looked at me, somewhat speechless, "How on Earth did you plan this alone and, I don't mean to be blunt, but how are you paying for it?"

"You remember how I said I wouldn't let your Dad pay for our wedding? Well, I'm not above letting him gift us our honeymoon."

She shook her head, grinning, "You surprise me in the best ways," she planted a kiss on my lips. "And we really need to give Colette a vacation after all this is over."

"We should go," I said, "We need to prepare."

"How many people from your side of the family are coming?" she asked.

"My parents, a few of my friends from France, Colette's parents, their other siblings, cousins, a few second cousins, a couple of my parents most important business partner's... I think there's like 30-40 total?"

"What?" a few people turned to look at Jessie. "I thought we were doing a smaller wedding!" she exclaimed.

"Sorry, my parents forced my hand. You have to understand my parents own the biggest chain of hotels in Europe and the United States and your parents are head of the fashion industry. This wedding is not just a wedding, it's a high society event. Many of the worlds largest businesses are not just seeing this as a union of two people who love each other, they see this marriage as an alliance."

"Thank you for keeping this from me for so long," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"I didn't want to stress you out. It's no problem, okay? They can see our marriage as anything they want, but I see it as me promising to love you in the eyes of all our friends and family, and in the eyes of God. All that matters is me, you, and Isaac. It will be 12 hours of hell, for 2 and a half weeks of bliss."

she exhaled, "I can't believe we let a teenager plan an event like this. Now I see why she has been stressing so hard. God, Adrian, we really should've hired a planner."

"I'll remind you for the next wedding," I said, smiling wryly.

"There better not be another wedding," she said, half serious, "This is the only trip downt the aisle I ever want to take."

"Of course, my love" I murmured into her hair, warm from the sun, "Of course."

Philip Masterson

"Phil, the baby wouldn't have survived in her condition." Dafnie started to say. "Isabelle has been under immense stress, so, she miscarried."

It felt like my lungs never learned how to intake air. I know not having a baby was better for me, but at the same time, it hurt. Isabelle was someone I actually loved, so having a baby with her wouldn't have been so terrible.

But at the same time. We got lucky. We got away.

"Maybe I should go to her?" I questioned.

We were still in the waiting area. James had went to see her just a few minutes ago. I barely felt the time passing, but it's been a few good hours of us just sitting here and waiting. Dafnie stayed with me the whole time for support, cause that's what she did best.

"I have something to tell you." she said out of the blue, her voice was soft.

I looked at her. It was the first time tonight that I stopped staring at the nurses' desk in front of me. Her eyes were red, lack of sleep, and her hair was in a messy bun.

"Yeah?"

"I think I love Rupert."

Swallowing hard, I took in her words. How odd. The last time we spoke about her love life, she wanted Merrick. He was her dream guy. She was jealous of Hawthorne because she got him within seconds.

"Why... why do you think that?" I shifted in my chair.

She looked away for a moment, as if trying to find the right words to say. When she looked back, her eyes got glassy.

"I bitched out my best friend in his defense. Do you know how dumb that is?" Her voice got nasally, looks like the tears were ahead of me. She shook her head in disbelief. "I mean, he hurt me. Fuck, I would have never thought we'd ever be friends, and here we are. This makes no fucking sense."

My heart started to hurt at her words, but, I understood where she was coming from.

"People change Daffy, they really do. And trust me, it's weird but it's okay. I was always a nice guy, I was just a whore. And I pretended to be all jock, same with Rupert. How else do you think we would have gotten along with people on the football team? No other way." I explained. "But, why did you bitch out Colette?"

She opened her mouth to speak but then automatically shut it, as if what she was gonna say was a secret. She looked around the waiting room and stared at the nurses' station. A few of them were standing there, either talking on the phones or typing on the computers. People were talking all around us, comforting words or straight up sobs.

"Daf," I urged.
She looked at me for a moment, he eyes finding mine. "What happened? You can tell me dude." I assured her. But she looked away.

An awkward tension set in between us, but James came to the rescue. He cleared his throat and I looked up. His face wasn't too happy, so I wouldn't expect a happy Isabelle either.

"Can I go to her?" I asked James.

"Yeah... just, be careful. You guys just broke up, so don't expect her to like you being there." He said.

"Yeah, I know." I sighed, standing up.

Isabelle, I hope you understand why I came.

Rupert Jean Franz

You don't know how dumb I felt. Of course she'd have me as her love. It's Colette. She's not like me where I have everyone by their first and last names. But there's that thought that's floating in the back of my mind. It was never there before, but now, it's there. She's gonna leave you. Maybe it's because she's too good for me, and I'm finally realizing that.

Or... I don't believe her.

And that's the scariest part.

I picked up my backpack and looked at my phone. 9:30. It's time for my bike ride. I had planned to ride my bike around Seattle before the summer ended, and today is that day. It will help clear my head, I'll need it. That's why today is the day, I need to get my thoughts straight.

Colette would never cheat.

My mother was up and running through the house already, getting her shit together. Planning that damned party and working at the same time. I said hello to the house workers and off I went. My bike was already at the front porch, looks like Robert took care of me today.

The sun was shining bright, welcoming me to a new day. My mother had our fountains cleaned, so they were up and running on both sides of me. My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I picked it out of my pocket and looked.

Philip Masterson Isabelle miscarried.

My heart skipped a beat as I took a deep breath.

I'm so sorry man.

Before I put my phone away, I looked through my texts and saw Hawthorne's name. I decided to text her.

Hey, if you're up, I'm going for a bike ride around downtown. Wanna join me? Colette is really busy with that wedding so she's sleeping in and I don't wanna bother her. I need a buddy.

I got onto my bike and headed the way down.

Jessie

As the sun sunk a little closer to its shell, we finally decided to head home to get ready. I was tired, Isaac was fussy and Adrian was completely oblivious to the 14 y/o's fawning over him from the other side of the pool.

I got out first, making sure to climb the ladder quick so I could grab my son from Adrian. He giggled and cooed as Adrian raised him up to me, half of his body still submerged in the water. As I waited for Ade to get out, I bounced Isaac on my hip, though my eyes were trained on the children dressed in strings across from us.

As Ade lifted himself from the ladder the rest of the way, the giggled and 'oh my god's of the girls echoed off of the emptiness around us, and I frowned. Are you kidding me?

Baby on my hip, I took a step closer to my fiance, so we were almost face-to-face, and pressed my lips against his gently. He smiled, and when I pulled away, asked in his sweet accent, "What was that for?"

"Dunno," I say with a single shoulder shrug, then turn towards the exit, "grab the diaper bag for me, will you?"

"Of course, my love," he answered, and suddenly, I wondered why I was jealous of them. He didn't even pay attention to them. So why did I? "Well, come on now, we're not at the car yet Jess."

I blink, and nod once with a grin, "I zoned out. Sorry. Leggo."

"Leggo?" Why did I think that sounded cooler in my head? He chuckled, and slid a warm hand around my waist, "Your terminology is extremely...unique."

*********

I wasn't sure how to dress, so I'd called Collin for fashion advice. He said that I should go with something appealing and dark, but also conservative, because of his parents and who they are. I'd sent him several pictures of dresses I had like that, and he picked a simple indigo (@Gravity ) dress that covered my chest. It was a little tight around my torso, but opened up lower and was more frilly than anything. I loved it. To finish it, I pulled on black strappy heels, a gold-chained necklace and pulled matching earrings from my jewelry box out-- a set that Ade had surprised me with a couple of days ago.

"I think we should get a babysitter for Isaac," I say as I push a gold earring in my ear, "I don't feel comfortable having our son around people I don't know."

Adrian came into the bathroom, where I was staring into the mirror, and offered his tie to me so I could do it for him-- even though he knew how to do it himself. He pursed his lips, but then said, "Okay. When do you want them to meet him though?"

I pulled the tie around his collar, then began the very easy process of up into the neck loop from underneath, down to the left, around the back of the small end to the right, up to the center, towards neck loop, through the neck loop and down to the right, across the front to the left, and down through the loop I'd just created in the front. Piece of cake.

"Hello? Babe?"

I realized I'd forgotten to answer him. Pulling his collar over a small part of the dark tie, I smiled and said, "Day after tomorrow. We'll take them to breakfast. Or lunch. Whichever you'd prefer. Then, they can meet him."

He nods, and looks at himself in the mirror then says, "You know, I like you better without makeup."

I laugh and fix the top of my dress, "Well, I like you better without clothes."

"Touché."

His eyes brightened quickly and before speeding off he said, "Gotta go give our boy love."

The smile wouldn't leave my lips, even as I pulled out my phone and tapped around until a picture of Throne popped up. I clicked it, and the dial tone automatically started ringing. On the seconds ring, her honey voice answered with a kind, "Hello?"

"Hey, Thorne!"

"Jessie? Hey, how are you?" She had music playing in the background, and I felt like it'd interrupted whatever she'd been doing.

"I'm great, just kind of in need of a favor," I clear my throat, and glance at the mirror quickly before leaving the bathroom, my heels 'click, click, clicking' all the way down the hall.

"Of course! Whatever you need," she said, the music in the background lowering. I didn't understand how she could be so nice.

"A babysitter," I say, "for a couple hours, three tops. Hopefully not even that. Adrian's parents are coming into town for the wedding, so we're having dinner with them. I can give you $15 an hour?"

*********

I'd only been to Adrian's work a million times, so when the sweet smell of sauteed onions and to-die-for-steak swirled around my nose, I was instantly drooling. Nobody could ever say, "I'm tired of their food," because honestly, every time I ate something from there, it was an amazing experience.

"They're already here, they'll probably notice us once we walk through the doors," Adrian mumbled to me, his hand linked with mine. I couldn't stop comparing him to the boy I bumped into in Paris so many months ago. "Just be calm. Don't let them get under your skin, and if you start feeling uncomfortable, tell me and we'll leave. Okay?"

I nod, and glance through the window that reflected our images. Were we doing the right thing? Was our marriage too soon? What were his parents going to say about me?

"Jessie?" we stopped at the doors, although a server was holding it open for us already. "Listen to me. Are you listening?"

I meet his eyes and nod again.

"I love you. My parents will love you and our son. I'm here, I'm real and I will never leave you. No matter what. Okay?" he kissed my cheek, "Tonight will go quicker than you think."

I smile again, fix my hair, then allow him to lead me inside. We're escorted by a pretty brunette, with kind eyes and a wonderful smile. She glances at Adrian, then at me, and says, "How are you, chef? This must be your fiance, oui?"

"Oui," Ade grins at her, and when we reach the table, he thanks her. Three people sat at the table, all speaking to each other in fluent french.

"Adrian, I thought you said Fleur was going to be here."

He raised a brow at me and said, "She is."


"Bonjour," I force out, displaying my best smile. I didn't want to embarrass myself, so I decided to stick to the basics of the language. "Mon nom est Jessie Gates."

The two women and the one man stood from their seats, respectively greeting Adrian, who mumbled inaudible things in the ears of the man and the slightly older looking woman. After a moment, the other girl locked eyes with me, grinned, then pulled Adrian into a hug.

She couldn't be-- could she? The famous best friend of my beloved fiance? When he described her to me, I pictured her to be average. Not fucking gorgeous. Seriously, this girl looked like a model. Her hair was long, red and curly, her eyes were amazingly blue and the black dress she had on hugged her curves perfectly.

When he first told me about Fleur, quite awhile ago, he explained that they'd been through so much together. And when I asked why they didn't just become a couple, he ignored what I'd asked and continued telling me a story about a time they were bike riding and almost got robbed. He told me so much about her, I felt like I knew her. But as soon as her lips spread into that smile and she wrapped her arms around my man, she was a stranger. She wasn't the girl he told me about. She was a beautiful woman with a wonderful red mane and a tendency to throw herself against engaged men. And I was jealous.

Once they pulled away from each other, she kissed his cheeks before turning to me energetically. "Bonjour! I've heard so much about you, Jessie. I'm-"

"Fleur," I smile slightly and link my fingers together, "Ade's told me so much about you."

"Oh?" She turns and grins at the man I was marrying in less than a week. "Nothing bad I hope, mon cher ami?"

Ade laughs and shakes his head, then turns to his parents, "Maman, papa, ceci est mon fiancé."

The man and woman didn't give me a second look as they whispered to each other, and finally the woman said, "Asseyons?"

Adrian nodded, pulled out my chair and pushed it forward once I sat down, then took a seat next to me. Fleur sat on the other side of him, which I did not appreciate. It was quiet for a moment, before a server calmly approached us, her eyes avoiding contact with the two older people at the table. With a (forced) pleasant smile, she said, "How are you all doing tonight?"

Fleur, her white teeth glistening in the lighting, answered quickly, "Better than ever."

I grimaced at her, for no actual reason, and glanced down at the menu in front of me. Every time I came here, I was eager to try something new. But now, sitting in front of his extremely judgmental parents, with a way more attractive woman on the other side of my husband-to-be, I was nervous. I was sick to my stomach, and my head with filled with questions and regret.

I just wanted to go home and lay in bed with my baby, but he was at Thorne's house, and I was here.

"Jessie? Are you okay?" Adrian asked quietly, his hand squeezing my thigh comfortingly, "Just tell me when you'd like to go. Okay?"

I avoid his eyes, but nod once, "Yeah. All right."

Not even an hour into dinner and Fleur was on fire. While Adrian's parents questioned me on when I got pregnant, if I knew the baby daddy, if I was graduating high school, when I planned on going to college, what I planned on doing after that and how I was going to better Adrian's life, Fleur was having a fluent conversation in French with Adrian. I only understood bits and pieces, but it sounded like they were exchanging old stories and telling jokes. Every time he would make her laugh, she would hold her hair out of her face as she laughed loudly and pushed his shoulder.

I'd almost had enough of it when the waitress walked over quickly and asked if she could get us anything. I asked for a refill, but everyone else politely declined. After she left then returned shortly with my peach tea, Adrian turned to face me and asked how I was doing. I took a sip of my tea and said, "Fine."

He frowned at that, and looked as if he wanted to say something, but then turned to his parents, "Alors, comment est-elle?"

They gave him this look, I couldn't describe it, but somehow he understood and suddenly stood up, "We'll be right back, Jess, okay?"

I nod, and they leave. Except Fleur stays behind.

She turns to me, her hair bouncing slightly as she says, "So, he's taking care of a child that doesn't belong to him? Ironic."

"Isaac is his son," I answer quietly, staring at my untouched plate of con au vin. "Even if not biologically."

"You know," she clears her throat, "traditionally, if he takes in a child that is not his, his parents will be extremely unhappy."

"His parents are not my concern," I could barely keep my voice low.

"Then what is, Ms. Gates?"

"Why do you care?" I snapped, though turned away from her, determined not to continue.

Before she could say anything, they returned. Adrian smiled at me, his eyes dark and angry. Had they been arguing?

I wanted to tell him I was ready to leave, but he seemed like he wanted to stay. He hadn't seen his parents for awhile, plus I was sure he still had some catching up to do with Fleur. I excused myself to the bathroom, not sure if I wanted to return. I pulled out my phone quickly as it vibrated.

'Thorne- Hey, just checking in. Sweet Isaac is asleep. I fed him and made him endure an agonizing ten minutes of tummy time. Hope you're having fun.'

I typed out a 'thanks so much' then sent it before shoving my phone back in my small purse.

I pushed the door open, then went and stared at myself in the mirror. My mascara had smeared a bit and my once pink lips were now skin-colored. I touched up a few things, then sighed. Was this high school? Was I really hiding in the bathroom because I was jealous of my fiance's old friend? How old was I?

"This is the place your fiance works, you ARE hiding in the bathroom because you're insecure and you are eighteen. Depressing, right?"

Did I always answer my own questions? No. Why am I doing it now? Because I'm alone and annoyed and have nothing else to do, except think about how much his parents hate me.

Taking one last look in the mirror, I washed my hands, dried them, then decided to go back to the table. His parents didn't look at me, Fleur smile was too big to be real and Adrian looked at me again, as if you say, "Wanna leave?"

I nodded at him and he grinned, but didn't do anything except turn back to Fleur.

This night literally couldn't have gotten worse.

Isabelle

Lying on the bed, all I could think about was my baby. I know at first I wasn't going to go through with the pregnancy but I had changed my mind... but now it was too late. My poor baby is gone. Tears streamed my eyes and all I wanted to do was to die, I didn't deserve to be alive.

My door to the hospital room slowly crept open, I stared and saw Philips head peak through. My guess was that James told EVERYONE. He never did know how to keep his damn mouth shut. I turned my head away and looked out the window, I saw his shadow come closer to the bed I was in.

"Isabelle--" I cut him off,

"Don't."

He looked worried but didn't say a word, he walked over to the couch that was about three feet from the bed. I couldn't even look at him right now because all I saw was he and Jessie.

She had a perfect baby boy.. and I was stuck with nothing... nothing but a memory of what could have been.

"I just don't know why I deserved this." my heart was racing and I was still crying, my whole body ached.

"Iz.. it isn't your fault. Don't beat yourself up about it." He did nothing to help me, nothing at all.

"Yes Philip!!!! IT IS my fault. When I found out I was pregnant I planned on terminating it and never telling anyone. No one would have known and we would have all been fine. But when I got here all I could think about was if my baby was safe... but now God is punishing me for wanting to terminate it."

Realization hit that this was my punishment that id have to live with the rest of my life. One that wont go away.

"He isn't punishing you, Isabelle. Things like this happen to people all the time, it isn't just you." He was still calm after all the yelling I just did. I couldn't help it... why did I lose my baby girl?

I held onto my stomach and just stared at how flat It was... again.

The door opened once more and it was the doctor.

"Well Isabelle I am sorry for your loss." he stood at the bed side and I just stared at him. No one was sorry so why did they say that?

"Your surgery went well and you will be free to go home in a couple hours as soon as we finish up the paper work. I must advise you not to do any heavy lifting for at least two weeks and try to get as much rest as you possibly can."

The doctor was just a doctor. He went through stuff like this all the time. I didn't even want to go home, my pregnancy test results from the doctor when I first found out were sitting in my bathroom laying on the cabinet and I just wasn't ready to see that.

I sighed and just stared at Philip.

"For what it's worth.. she was beautiful Philip, just know that."





@Nike

Sebastian

I could completely lose myself whenever I painted. Forgot about the real world, and got lost in the colors of my project. Wether it was earthy browns, or watery blues and greens, I was completely at peace. And I absolutely loved it.

I glanced down at my phone, checking for texts. I smiled when I noticed the text from Jules. Than a shiver of anger ran over my body. Those animals had wanted to... I let the thoughts leave me, as I turned back to my phone. I sent her the address of the club I wanted to meet her at tonight.

I smiled as it sent, and I turned back to my painting, glancing at the vivid picture of a waterfall. I cocked my head as I gave it a couple finishing touches, before placing it on a chair to dry off. I began putting my painting supplies away as classical music from my phone swept through the house like a gentle breeze.

After I was all cleaned up, I snapped a picture of the painting, before sending the picture to various art galleries around the city. I put my phone away as I began to get ready for another night shift, but at a different nightclub.

I put on a button up of a dark maroon, placing on a black suit jacket over it. I ran my hand through my hair, spraying on some cologne. Smirking to myself in the mirror, I grabbed my car keys and headed to my beautiful Challenger... Eleanora. Yes I had named my car. But she was a beast. Nearly 600 horsepower. She was a thing of beauty.

I unlocked the car and turned it on, smiling as the engine roared to life. On my 16th birthday, I knew what I wanted when my parents had asked me what car I wanted. Dodge Challenger. Definitely added to the bad boy image I had been trying for that year.

I opened the garage door as I pulled out of the garage, waving at my neighbor, a nice elderly woman named Margaret, who also made the best damn chocolate chip cookies I had ever eaten. I turned into the street, starting up my music as I began to drive to work.

A new club tonight. Trinity nightclub. Probably the most expensive and fanciest club in all of Seattle. It was probably my favorite to work at, because the cooks made really good sushi there. My stomach growled at the thought. I hadn't had dinner, so the thought of what was to come made my mouth water.

I made my way through the Seattle downtown area quickly, working my way to the back of the club. I got out of my car. The night had just begun, and we weren't even close to our busiest hours, and already the line stretched around the block. I straitened my suit before walking inside the back.

I was greeted by a bouncer on break who waved at me before returning to his magazine. I made my way to the office to clock in and greet the manager on shift.

James Lin was a Chinese man of 40, with greying hair, but he was also a close friend of mine. He had been the one who really taught me the ins and outs of running a buisness, and I owed him a lot when it came to experiances. He was my mentor.

His face split into a smile when I walked in. He turned away from the paperwork he had been signing." Sebastian! It's good to see you!" He said, enveloping me into a hug. He looked me over and his smile faded. "I went over the footage of last night. I think I can ID them with some more time, but I'd contact the lawyer for the company of you want to prosecute them." He grabbed his jacket and put it on.

I shook his hand as he left. He paused at the door. "Also, you're lady friend is here. She should be waiting for you in VIP section B. She's quite the catch buddy." I blushed as he left. I had given Jules a card that basically have her instant VIP access. I could just hope she wasn't taking advantage of the open bar. With that though I quickly made my way to her section.

I found her poking at some sushi taking small nibbles as some other gentleman stared at her... Hungrily. And it pissed me off. But why? I didn't know her that well enough to claim her in anyway. And yet, I found myself feeling that way. Like she was mine. What was going on with me?

I slid into the chair in front of her. She paused her sushi poking to look at me, and her curious eyes slowly turned into a glare. She gestured to her dress, a dark red Versace dress. "As much as I enjoy being spoiled with expensive dresses Bash, how the hell did you get it to my house? And how did you know my size?"

I took a bite of her sushi, my eyes dancing. "Well, I took a look at your size on your other dress before exfoliating it. And I have my ways of finding people." She glared at me suspiciously before nibbling on her sushi. She took a sip of wine before shrugging. "Oh whatever. I'm going to go dance." I smiled at her as she left, watching her as she made her way to the dance floor. I tried to avoid looking at her ass... But shit. Dancing really did help her in that area. I shook my head to clear my thought, just now noticing the jealous glares of several men. In the area. Even ones with a partner already.

I ordered a light beer, before looking at the floor. The red of her dress caught my eye. The way her hips moved. Her long hair, glistening underneath the strobe lights. I than realized... I was smitten. I was highly attracted to her. But I hardly knew he. Shouldn't an attraction be more than the way she got my blood up?

I took a sip of beer, feeling the cool liquid rush down my throat as I watched her. I turned away to check my email quickly, finishing her sushi. When I turned back, my blood ran cold, than hot. She was there, dancing against another guy. Way too close for my comfort. What the fuck was wrong with me?!

She can make her own choices, I thought to myself. Why am I being so goddamn protective of her? I got up suddenly, and made my way to the dance floor. I ignored the girls who grinded against me, trying to gain my attention. But I was focused on one person.

I was behind her, and my hand found hers, pulling her away from her horny partner in a flash, spinning her into my arms. Her angry eyes calmed down when she saw who I was. Her lips opened slightly as I stared at her. Her eyes were watching me, calculating everything. I could feel the adrenaline running through my body as time seemed to stop, but go into warp speed at the same time.

You only live once right?

I leaned into her, and her lips met mine. Her hand curled into my hair, as the other held onto me for support. And the entire time, my heart was pounding like I had run a mile. It was all happening so fast, but it also felt so perfect. When I release her, her eyes were on mine, reflecting the passion I felt as I drew her close to me. She smiled at me for a second before laughing out loud. And I was smiling like an idiot.

Jules

His mouth was on mine, and then it wasn't. I looked up at him and he had the biggest grin on his face. It made me laugh. I hardly ever saw Bash smile, and when he did smile it was that snarky, cocky, confident grin that never quite reached beneath the surface.

"I can't believe you just did that," I whispered, biting my lip as I tried not to smile. But with the booming music and the dancing bodies around us, he didn't hear me.

"Did you say something?" he asked, and I shook my head, my fingers digging into the fabric of my dress. It was a deep, wine red. A very respectable length, the hem falling at my fingertips.

My heart was in my throat, I felt such a rush of emotions then. I was still getting over April. This whole summer... the drinking, the partying... I just needed to forget. In that moment, that moment that Bash's lips were against mine, I forgot. For one second.

Hell, a kiss like that? It could make you forget your own name.

"Jules?" I hadn't realized, but the smile had faded from my face. He was looking at me, an expression of concern in his eyes. Two real emotions from Bash Trapani, who knew? Happiness and concern, all at once. Most of the time he came across as joking. Kind, yes, but he was always joking. Either that or he was just fiercely protective or angry. But those were surface emotions.

"Will you take me home?" he nodded and led me out of the club, the loud music muffled as soon as the heavy metal door slammed shut behind us.

We walked through the alleyway to his car. It was a sleek black color, the dodge logo glinting in the moonlight.

"Jules, meet Eleanora. The other woman in my life." he gestured to the car grinning.

"Bash. Really. You named the damn car?" I chuckled, pinching my brow.

"What's wrong?" he asked, back at my side in less than a second.

"I just want to go home," I whispered.

"Of course, I'll get you home." he opened the door for me and shut it after I sat down, smoothing my skirt.

He plopped into the drivers seat, putting his seatbelt on. I buckled mine as well and he started the car. The engine hummed to life. Bash wasn't a showy kind of person, lots of people with sports cars get the car altered so it makes noise when accelerating or even just starting it. Bash had that quiet but regal quality to him. He strode with confidence, he had nice things. But he didn't like to brag about his wealth the way some did.

He pulled out, the car shooting forward.

"So how long had you been at the club?" he asked casually, never looking up from the road.

"I've had half a glass of wine, Sebastian." I said, looking at the road with a kind of quiet intensity.

"So not even buzzed then." He knew I'd grown up having a glass or two of wine with every meal. It took at least 3 for me to feel anything.

"Nope, might as well have had a bottle of coke."

I reached down and took off my shoes before bringing my knees up to my chest and turning to look out the window. I watched all the people roaming on the sidewalks of downtown Seattle, the lights beginning to turn on as clubs and bars opened.

Once in a while I'd turn and look at Bash. He was fiercely focused on the road, his knuckles white as he clutched the steering wheel. A strand of floppy brown hair fell into his face and he didn't even flinch.

I think I dozed a little, because it felt like 10 minutes before we were in front of my house. Downtown Seattle was 20 minutes away from the little Lincolnwood suburb.

"Do you want me to walk you to the door?" he asked, glancing up at the wraparound porch with the swing hanging from the ceiling.

"I'm fi-' he got up out of the car anyway, cutting me off as he pulled open my door. I reluctantly slid my heels back on to my feet and stepped out of the car.

The crickets sang and I felt the muggy Seattle air engulf my skin as Bash swung the door shut.

"So."

I exhaled. "So."

"Shall we?" he extended an arm. He was being so... gentlemanly. But there was something else. Something he was good at controlling, but had briefly let go of at the club. The very same thing that made me kiss him back before.

He walked me up to the porch but I couldn't get that glint out of my head, that tiny little flash of something more beneath the surface.

"Goodnight," he said,

I looked up at him and at the solid wooden door. I let my hands run down the fabric of his dress shirt, to the button holes of his suit jacket. He inhaled sharply, the tiny gasp cutting through the air almost imperceptibly. Almost.

I closed the distance between us, pressing my lips against his for the second time that night. He tried to deepen it, tried to wrap his arms around me. But I pulled away; allowing my forehead to rest against his.

"Goodnight," I whispered, slipping inside my house before he could say anything more.

******

The next morning I woke up at a decent hour for class. The first time in a while that I wouldn't be late.

I laid in bed for a minute, looking through my phone. I didn't have a whole lot of messages so I decided to scroll through some old ones, clean up a bit. That's when I saw it, the photo.

A week or two previously, April had sent me a photo...

I tapped the message, opening it and bit my lip. She was standing in front of a mirror, fully nude. I let my eyes roam over her petite body... her breasts, the slim hips I loved because mine were so wide. I felt a pang go through me, and then a shiver in places I hadn't really been aware of since April left.

I closed the text message, forcing myself to get out of bed. I didn't want to reopen those old wounds. April left. Why was she sending me nudes? Who knew. But I wasn't going to engage.

My phone buzzed just then, and my heart leapt into my throat. April?

I unlocked my phone, my heart returning to normal, though still fluttery. Bash.

Last night was really great... but I think we have a few things to talk about. Want to go to breakfast?

I started taking out my dancewear before typing a message back.

I can't, I have dance today until 2. Pick me up from the studio at 3?

He confirmed the plans and I sent him the address, locking my phone once more. I began to pull on my tights and then my leotard, tying my hair up into a bun. I packed dancewear and shoes for other classes in my dance bag before adding travel bottles for shampoo and conditioner and some makeup, along with a set of clothes. I would just have to shower at the studio.

When I got to class, my teacher looked at me, clicking her tongue.

"Well well, Juliette. On time and prepared to dance. Let's see if your technique has improved with your punctuality."

I used to be the favorite, but with late nights out I stumbled through the steps at best. We began with ballet, as usual. I put on my flat shoes, warming up at the barre, making sure to stretch the best I could and concentrate on technique. I finally realized how much I had missed dancing. I missed the feeling of extending my limbs to the stars, I missed feeling graceful and in place.

When the time came for pointwork, the boys came in for pas de deux. I groaned inwardly. I really was not in the mood for sweaty men in sweaty tights failing to lift me because my hips were too wide and difficult to grasp. I wasn't heavy, it was just more difficult to find a good way to support me.

"You drop me or touch my ass, you find another partner. Got it?" I told him. He nodded and we assumed position for the combination.

The rest of the day went on pretty well. We finished ballet and then moved on to jazz, than modern/contemporary ballet, then jazz, and lastly, salsa/latin dancing.

Bash came to watch around noon, right in the middle of jazz and all the way through salsa.

"Did you enjoy the show?" I asked him, wiping the sweat from my forehead with a towel as I headed down the hall to the bathroom with the shower.

"I 'accidentally' got my times mixed up," he said, giving me a sly grin. "That last dance was somewhat provocative. Your partner seemed to enjoy it." I rolled my eyes.

"Give me time to get ready," I said rolling my eyes.

"alright," he said, grinning. "Don't drown yourself."



Not my best work. I tried.

Dafnie Serena Leto

Rupert has been mentioning Hawthorne a lot recently. How do I know this? Philip has been telling me he's worried. Fuck, I've been worried about Colette leaving Rupert, not the other way around.

I walked up the steps to Thorne's house, it was rather large and did give off an angry demeanor. It's hard to get rid of her grandmothers' aura. I took in a deep breath and knocked on the door. Within a minute, the door swung open with a smiling Hawthorne.

"Hey Daf, I haven't seen you in forever."

An awkward tension set in, and I knew it was my fault.

"Thorne, yeah, you're right." I smiled, or, tried my best to smile. "Wanna hang for a bit?"

"Can't really tell you no, you came all this way." She moved away from the door, giving me space to walk in.

I walked in as she shut the door behind me. I could hear some TV playing from the other room. Hawthorne walked around me, coming face to face.

"Don't be surprised, Rupert is here." Just at the sound of his name my heart jumped. Something I couldn't control.

"Rup?" I questioned raising an eyebrow.

She looked away from me for a moment then looked back. "We've become good friends Daf."

"I see,"

We found our way to the living room and that's where Rupert was sprawled on the couch, staring at the TV with a huge grin on his face. Somehow that made my skin feel too tight on me. And I wasn't mad that he was getting closer to Hawthorne, I was mad he was doing this and he was dating Colette.

"This is fucked," I sighed, trying to get rid of the laughter building up.

Both Hawthorne and Rupert looked at my with serious faces.

"What?" I flung my arms. "This is normal? Please. Give me a fucking break."

"What the fuck Dafnie?" Rupert asked, his cheeks got red.

"You guys aren't getting closer, this is bull."

Hawthorne took a step back away from me, her eyes got wide. I missed the friendship we had, but this was something I had to do.

"Thorne? Out of all people? You would hurt Cole?"

"What are you talking about Dafnie? I'm not doing anything."

I placed my hands on my hips, feeling my heart race.

"Really?" I sighed again. "Cause I don't believe that."

Rupert stood up, walking over to me. My heart raced as his eyes met mine and suddenly I was confused that I was able to even breathe. Hawthorne's jaw dropped as her cheeks flushed pink.

"Dafnie, are you suggesting that I'm sleeping with Hawthorne?" Rupert asked with a Derek Shepard type tone, when he tries to understand Meredith.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, what are you doing? You can't just be friends with girls Rup, let's be honest." I laughed.

"Okay, so you're calling me a whore." He smirked. "Nice one Daf, really. I'm still dating Colette."

"Hasn't stopped you before." I took a step towards him.

My heart was racing and I felt goosebumps rise on my skin. He took a step towards me, leaving maybe a foot between us. I felt Hawthorne's stare from the side. The tension between us grew, thickened, air was hard to catch. It felt just like the time I had met him and I had wanted him and I would've done anything to get him. And I did get him.

Regretful.

"Dafnie, I love Cole." He sighed.

I swallowed hard, looking away at Hawthorne. It looked like she'd crack any second.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I huffed.

"What do I have to do to prove that? She's been ignoring me, stepping aside. I? I have been there for her and all she could do is leave me. I get it, she's not ready to be with me. But it's so hard. That's why I'm hanging with my friends, to ignore the feeling of her gone. So, thanks Daf."

I took in a breath. "Sorry, I know it's hard right now."

He shook his head, running his hand through his hair. "It is,"

Our eyes met again and I swear to God, I was a freshman again in his basement. A party was upstairs, banging loudly with too many drunken teenagers. But all I could care about was being with him right then and there.

I licked my lips, unsure of what to do with the temptation that flew through my veins.

"Dafnie," he sighed, still looking at me with that somber look that I could only compare to Derek looking at Meredith.

And God, it hurt.

"I think I'm still in love with you Rup." I whispered and heard a gasp from Thorne. My heart was skipping a beat. "I thought I was over all of this. What we had was practically nothing. You had Kate and I was this side whatever. But it didn't feel like that. It felt like more. Like so much in just a few nights. Colette is great. She really is. But I didn't know that I wanted to be with you until right now. The way you look at me. " I paused, taking a breath, trying to prevent tears from falling.

"The way you look at me, it stops time." I said. "And I didn't think that that would be possible."

I was shaking from all my nerves and yet, all I could do was stare back at him. And somehow, this wasn't the same argument from where we started.

"Dafnie," Hawthorne huffed.

April

Ketchup was on the side of my face, I took a napkin and wiped it laughing as Edward got mayo on his. I loved american food.. Even being here they had it good.

"You know I didn't even know they had american food here." I smiled, just staring at him. We weren't a "thing" yet but he was already my best friend.

"There is definitely a lot about London you have yet to see." His English accent was sexy and I couldn't help but smile.

"What?" He looked so innocent, even with light beard hair.

I shook my head and just ate my food. He smiled and we sat in silence while eating.

"How do you like the parts of London so far?" He asked as we pushed our chair in so we could leave.

"I think it is pretty great, I must say, I won't be leaving any time soon." He grabbed my hand and we walked towards the board walk. It was a beautiful evening and I couldn't have asked for a better person to be with.

Except for Juliette.

My heart ached and I couldn't help but wonder how she was doing.

"School will start soon. Do you want me to show you around?"

I nodded and looked out over the water. The moon was bright and it glowed off the water.

"You seem to have a lot on your mind, love, what's the problem?" He genuinely looked concerned. I didn't want to tell him my problems but he was the only person I could talk to.

"No there is nothing wrong." I grabbed his waist and we just stared.

A couple minutes flew and I still felt like I was in heaven, this was the happiest I had been since I left Washington.

"Wanna dance?" I asked him and pulled on his hand, we were on the board walk and we were all alone, not even a vehicle in sight.

He played a song called "kiss me" And spun me around in a circle, his smile made me smile and he pulled me into his chest. I could hear his heart beat. It was slow and steady.

"Kiss me." He sounded so demanding, I looked into his eyes and my heart melted. I grabbed his cheeks and stood on my toes before kissing him. Passion and deep need was all I felt.

~Hawthorne~

What the hell? The first time I see Dafnie in weeks, if not months, and she shows up here accusing Rupert of cheating on Cole and me of being the one he's cheating with? Where the hell did this even come from? Was that the only reason she was here? On top of that, she just confesses her love for Rupert. What the hell kind of game is she playing?

I pinch the bridge of my nose as I try to assuage the headache I feel coming on, as well as an anger i'd had the luxury of forgetting about over the last little while as I sigh, "Dafnie."

She turns to look at me, as if she'd forgotten I was there, which only stirred the anger in me.

"You've got some nerve coming here." I laugh incredulously. "Calling Rupert a whore, and me by association since you've gotten into your head i'm like that, then profess your love for him? Seems more like you're here for yourself than for Cole."

Seeming to have hit a chord, Dafnie blushed, but said nothing.

"Let me get this right." I ran a hand through my hair, resisting the urge to lash out at Dafnie. "Instead of coming to me, Cole came to you and said something to you about Rupert and I, so you decided to come over and confront us?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Philip tole me he was worried."

"So Cole doesn't even know you're over here?" I say through tight lips, my hands balling into fists.

Everything began to look tinged in red, my heart thundering in my chest. Who the hell did she think she was to come into my house and accuse of screwing around with Rupert? What had I done to make her think I was that kind of person?

She looks as if she's at a loss for words, and I almost lounge at her.

"So I'll take that as a no." I look at Rupert, who pulls out his phone.

"I'm calling Cole." Rupert makes his way into the Kitchen, his phone already to his ear.

Dafnie tried to go after him, but the look on my face put that to an end.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I ask. "To come here into my house after not seeing each other for who know how long, and accuse me of screwing Rupert behind Cole's back?"

"Well are you?" she put her hands on her hips.

"Of course i'm not screwing Rupert behind Cole's back!" I snapped. "Why the hell would you even think I would do that?"

"Oh," she scoffed. "I don't know. Maybe that you two are always together when he should be with Cole? Hm."

"That's it? That's all it takes? What could I have done to make you think that I'm even like that? Have you ever even seen me hit on a guy, let alone have sex with someone who's already taken? What the hell were you thinking when you came over here?"

I didn't realized i'd been yelling until Rupert came back into the room.

"I was thinking that I was protecting my friend-" Dafnie started.

"From her friend?" I laughed unbelievingly. "That's crap and you know it!"

"Maybe you guys should just create some space-" Rupert suggested.

"No." I didn't let him finish. "She's the one who came here flinging accusations, now she's going to have to deal with the consequences!"

I turned back to Dafnie, who was shooting daggers at me with her eyes. the way she looked at me made me so mad.....

"Holy shit, Hawthorne!"

Before I realized what happened Rupert was pulling my away from Dafnie, who I apparently almost attacked. Dafnie followed suit, trying to get at me though Rupert was blocking her.

"Get out" I yelled at her. "Get the hell out of my house! I don't want to see your face again, or I promise you won't be as lucky."

"Calm down! I don't want tp have to explain to Cole you two decided to beat the fuck out of each other!" Rupert tightened his grip on me, and it was almost comforting.

If I hadn't been trying to beat the life of Dafnie. She stood, shaking with anger as well as a mix of other emotions and tears in her eyes. I must have scared the hell out of her. I had no idea what I looked like now, but it must have been something if she was looking at me that way. Not that I gave a damn right now.

"Screw you Thorne! I'm not the one here in the wrong." she stabbed her finger at me.

She turned, walking out the door. The next thing I heard was the squeal of her tires as she left. I don't know how long I stood there, my heart going crazy in my chest and erratic breathing the only thing I could really comprehend at the moment, before I realized Rupert was still holding me.

"You can let go Rupert." I finally said.

"Are you sure you're not going to go after her?" He asked from behind me.

"I'm sure." I nod, and he lets me go.

A heave silence fell over the room since neither of us knew what to say.

"You should go be with Cole right now." Rupert looked at me.

"Are you sure you'll be ok?" He touched my shoulder, which I shrugged off.

"I'll be fine by myself." I walked over to the door. "I'm used to being alone."

Rupert looked as if he felt slightly guilty for leaving as he walked over to the door. We shared an awkward hug, and he left. I set the alarm behind him.

"System armed."

Dafnie Serena Leto

"Holy Fuck," I said as tears kept streaming down my face. Every time I shut my eyes I imagined Hawthorne's face right before she tried to attack me. She made me feel like the suspect! Why? I am not the one sleeping with Rupert behind Cole's back.

And Merrick likes her too. If he only knew that she was with Rupert.

I was still sitting parked in front of my house unable to leave the car. Just ten minutes ago I was bitching at my best friend. And then we almost fought. And then she kicked me out. I drove off, running on adrenaline, unsure of where to go. But.

"Dafnie!" I heard Rupert.

My heart jumped as I stood in place, unsure if I should stay or I should go. No matter how wrong Hawthorne was, she was right about one thing, why was I professing my love for my best friends' boyfriend? Yeah sleeping with him is one thing, but loving him is a whole other story.

I took a deep breath, shutting my eyes for a moment to control my anxiety. I could hear him waking over towards the car, the stomp in every step he took. Bracing myself, I hopped out of the car, catching site of him. He approached me with those ever so grand hazel eyes that seemed gold.

At this moment, with barely any space between us, I could remember the last time that we kissed. In his kitchen, a spur of the moment. We never spoke about it. It was like did that even really happen? Was it a dream? But no, it was real. Jessie was so into him and yet, I made my move in that kitchen.

My lips ached for his especially since they were so close. I could feel the tension growing thick between us.

"Dafnie," He sighed, taking my hands in his. Tingles flew down my arms and my heart couldn't beat any faster. "I didn't know."

I swallowed hard and thought if maybe I should pull away. i could lose my best friends if I did this.

I could lose my best friends.

And yet, that didn't seem like the worst thing that could happen to me.

"I didn't know either." I replied, my voice felt raw.

I was honestly Meredith, wasn't I? A self sabotager. Being in love with a man that was already in love and in a relationship. Not just any relationship, a meaningful one.

"I'm so sorry, I'm with Colette." he said.

For a second, I looked away, but did not pull my hands away from his. They were warm and comforting.

"That's the only reason why. You're with Colette. And I get it." I looked back at him, searching his face for something but came up short. "She's perfect and you love her. Be with her,"

He didn't reply. Not for a minute. It was just him staring and I staring back, as if all the answers were read in our faces and we were mute. Nothing around me seemed to matter, but him. And that wasn't okay.

"She's been ignoring me. I don't think she loves me anymore Dafnie,"

Before I could answer, I had to think. There was not any good way to respond to that. He was wrong so wrong.

"Daf, you okay?" Rupert asked, noticing my distraction.

"Yeah," I shook my head and pulled my hands away from his. They felt cold and useless, as if without his hands I didn't know what to do with them. "I just, I don't know what I'm saying."

"Dafnie," he sighed.

"No," I looked up at him, feeling too hot yet too cold. "Look, go talk to Colette and fix things. Be with her."

I couldn't be Meredith. He couldn't be Derek. And Colette couldn't be Addison. She never cheated on him. He never cheated on her. They were in love. She was Meredith, she had found her McDreamy and I couldn't be that girl who tries to steal him away.

"Dafnie," he said again.

I smiled, "Stop saying my name. Stop saying it like that."

And he stood there silent. The tension grew thick as we just stared at each other for a few more moments before he just smiled and walked around me, leaving me in the dark. I let my breath go, as if I'd been holding it for so long.

There was something I had to do. I couldn't lose my friends no matter how much I hated this. More or so like I needed to find out the truth about Hawthorne and Rupert. He seemed to not like her in any way other than friendship, but I needed to know why all of sudden. And I needed to confront her. I was not one to be reckoned with. She cannot tell Colette what I had said to Rupert.

Hoping back into my car, I revved up the engine and headed back. I could drive blindly and id still get to Hawthorne's. I parked on the street and got out, feeling my stomach drop. Her house looked grand from the side, and intimidating. I found my way through the front gates and onto the pathway towards her home.

"'Ello there gorgeous." Someone said, a male.

I jumped, grabbing my chest. It's like the air was pushed right out of me. Turning around, I saw a guy standing just at the side of Hawthorne's house. There was an alley that led to her backyard, and he was there looking as if he belonged on those cobblestones.

I rose an eyebrow at him and replied, "You scared me half to death."

"Ha, I'm sure of it. With your reputation that guy isn't into you cause you're a beaut, right?" he was walking over to me.

"What? What are you talking about? No." I swallowed.

"Dafnie Leto, niece of Jared Leto and cousin of Bradley. Maybe it's for the fame that you don't share. He'll try to expose you?" His eyes were as black as his soul.

"That's not true." I stuttered.

Taking a step back, I looked up at Hawthorne's house, seeing the curtains in her bedroom open. She was peeking out at this moment. I could feel concern from here. I looked back at the guy, unsure as to what measures he was taking.

"Fine, I'll keep it hushed too. But, you deserve a guy better than him. I'm Damian." He smirked, sticking his hand out so I could shake it.

I looked down at it, unsure.

"A better guy? You were being a jerk just now." I laughed. "I'll pass."

"Hawthorne would hate it if you slept with me." He shook his hand a bit, trying again.

"That makes me even more hesitant."

His smirk just seemed to get even more smirki-er and I was lost. My skin felt aware of every touch as the wind blew, making me shake.

"He's dating your best friend and you just made a fool of yourself. I can make you feel a whole lot better. You in?" He said, folding his arms over his chest.

Taking a deep breath, I looked over my surroundings. I was sad, I wasn't me, and I was heart broken in front of Hawthorne's home. She had left the window.

"I'm in," The regret will find me someday soon, I know.

Philip Masterson

Isabelle was a mess, a wreck... a beautiful disaster.

And she wasn't mine. All I wanted to do is pull her close and hug her and kiss her and love her and tell her it was all going to be okay. But I couldn't, it wasn't my call. She looked so fragile in that hospital bed as the doctor spoke to her, and trust me, Isabelle was never fragile or weak or anything of the sort. I didn't know what to do with my hands, so I crossed my arms over my chest. And that's when I felt my heart and realized it was racing.

My anxiety was blowing through the roof. I had lost a baby. We may have no wanted it, but. It was mine. And it was with someone that I loved. It'd be different than Jessie. Way different. But it still made me feel sad and too young for this. Cause honestly, I was.

And here I am popping babies everywhere.

The doctor had left the room and there was just Isabelle and I. She had told me how beautiful the baby would've been. I'm sure it would've been.

"I'm sure Is," I sighed, unable to keep my eyes open.

It's like once you know that everything is okay and there's nothing else to do, all that adrenaline and all that's keeping you awake and avoiding the pain finally disappears; you're just there tired --wanting an advil. My body felt heavy, but I still sat up, staying up for her.

"You should leave." Isabelle said.

I rose an eyebrow at her. "Why?"

She thought about it, I'm sure she was contemplating. It's like she was trying to make herself say that I should go... cause we aren't a we anymore. "You don't have to be here anymore. I'm, not your girlfriend."

"Who said that I have to?" My head pounded as my voice rose. "I want to be here Isabelle."

A smirk shown on her face, but you know it's that smirk of anger. The one that comes when you start getting fed up and just want to laugh at the person's face. That's the funny thing about smiles or smirks, they can be for any emotion. You can be extremely happy or depressed or want to slit someone's throat, and you'll be there smiling.

"Leave, fucking leave Paul." Her eyes got wide. "Philip-- Philip leave."

My heart stopped. She was still in love with Paul, wasn't she?

"You came here for your baby. Now that baby is gone. We aren't gonna get back together because you feel bad for me. We wouldn't have even gotten back together. This is over, there is nothing here." Her voice was steady, as if she practiced this. Or, she just didn't care anymore.

But as she spoke, I felt my heart crumbling and my thoughts running. It was worse. It was worse than the day she literally ended things. Now she was speaking to me and I saw no hesitation, no bluff.

She called me Paul.

"Can I just say something?" I managed to voice, standing up.

"No," She huffed, meeting my eyes. Nothing there, no love, no remorse, no, nothing. It was like Isabelle was dead. At least, her soul.

And I didn't object. I just stared back, trying to get her out of this hole. I wanted her loving eyes. I wanted to pink cheeks. I wanted her again, the girl I fell in love with.

But she wasn't there.

So I did as she asked me to, I fucking left with my heart in my hand, torn to shreds.