Young Writers Society

Jason Frey

I wanted to stay in the room with Gabe forever. With the yearbooks he made me and all our old things, and my twin right there, I felt the most relaxed in a long time. I had changed - into the only shirt in the closet that was once too big, but now fit almost perfectly - and now I lied on the bed with Gabriel playing with my hair, keeping my eyes closed and listening to him talk about the past three years. Life seemed fine. Normal, for a change, and almost - almost - like I never even left.

Gabriel tensed suddenly, his tone changing. "There's someone in the house."
I opened my eyes, focusing on at spot on the door as I listened. Footsteps downstairs, I could hear them too.
"Maybe mum came back with the little ones," I suggested, but Gabriel shook his head.
"It's too early for that... I think." He got up, and I followed the lead. "And you know mum, she'd come to call us down the moment she came home. It's not them."

We walked downstairs each with something in our hands, only to sigh simultaneously at the familiar figure attacking our cookies. Gabriel rolled his eyes and I walked out into the kitchen first, waiting for a moment before saying anything.
"..Dad?"

He turned and froze as he saw me, still with a cookie in his hand, and then - after calling my name and waiting a long moment - awkwardly walked closer and reached out his hand. I shook it, feeling more curious by the moment. He'd been drinking, I could tell - even without everything that Gabriel told me, it was obvious enough from just the look in his eyes - and it took him a long time to finally swallow the cookie he was chewing and clear his throat.

"Uh.. how are you?"

I shrugged. "Fine.. Free." I smiled shortly, turning serious again as Gabriel walked closer from behind me and stood next to me. "How are you?"

Dad narrowed his eyes slightly at Gabe before turning to look at the cookies again. "The cookies are nice."

Gabe sighed again. "Great, what are you even doing--"

We both turned at the sound of the key in the lock, waiting as the door opened and mum and our siblings walked in. For a moment, I forgot dad was there and the situation was as awkward as it was, as I looked over my little brother. Elliot has grown up since the last time I saw him, got taller and his hair seemed a tad darker than before - although that might've just been my memory - and he was looking at me as a stranger, like someone whom he vaguely remembered and wasn't sure what to think of. I turned my attention to mum when I realised she was talking, and moved for Lucy to put a bag on the counter behind me.
"We got some stuff," she informed me, and frowned a second later as she pulled groceries out of the bag. "And forgot sugar."

Absentmindedly, semi-aware of mum asking dad something in the kind of tone and style that reminded me of the officers who came to take me to court three years ago, I helped Gabe put food on the shelves. There was something satisfying, and somewhat comforting, in the fact that not much has changed in the way my family kept order in the kitchen. I still remembered where everything went.
I looked at the rest of our family as I closed the fridge; mum and dad were still talking, now in calm voices that just made more clear all the things they were leaving unsaid, and Elliot was keeping close to Lucy, chewing on a cookie and telling her something at the same time, glancing at me every now and then. I gave him a quick smile and turned to Gabe without waiting to see how Eli would reply.

"What is it, J?"

I just shook my head a bit in answer. "Nothing... I'll be back." Before he or anyone managed to stop me, I turned again, grabbed the change Lucy had left on the counter along with the bags, and raised my voice so they all hear me. "I'm gonna get sugar, see you in a bit."

And with that, I was out of the house, not looking back and not slowing down until I reached the end of our street.
*

I took my time in the store, reading each word on three different bags of sugar they offered, even though I knew they all more or less said the same, and then walking around the store as if I'm tasked with remembering in which aisle one could find each product. I didn't quite feel like going home - although, I didn't feel like leaving them all just like that, especially after seeing how much my brother had missed me - and without even thinking, I found myself sitting at a bus station, the bag with sugar by my side, watching the road and not even knowing whether I'd hop on the bus or not once it came.

"Jason?"

I turned at the sound and found myself speechless for a moment. She grew up since I last saw her too, but there was no mistake to who she was.

"Myra..." I tried to smile, thinking of what to say, and found myself surprised again at how easy it actually was. I said something, she said something. She asked me a question - I answered. Vice versa. Just like nothing much had changed; even the air of awkwardness dispersed after just a few sentences.

She even seems happy to see me.

I had thought about seeing her again in the past three years, and I had hoped I'd catch her in school - though at the same time I wished they'd all change their minds and decide not to send me to school anymore - but I hadn't imagined it happening so soon. I had no idea what she thought about me, or what she even knew aside from the fact I was convicted for killing her sister. Yet now, that didn't even seem to matter, and, as we eventually stopped talking and she left to return home, I felt a little bit less like wanting to take the next bus to anywhere.

With a slight smile on my face and the bag in my hand, I slowly made my way home as well, stopping at a kiosk along the way to spend the last of the change on some sweets for Eli and Lucy - or more likely, Gabe and myself, as I was pretty sure there was a chance our siblings wouldn't be so thrilled with the idea. I hoped none of them was mad at me for taking so long with the store, and wondered if dad was still there, as I walked up to mum's front door, once again making sure not to turn to the house across the street.
*