Young Writers Society

Time for my shots. I pulled out my hand, took a moment to hold my breath, and then stuck the needle in my arm. One, two, three, four, five it was done. I smiled at the nurse looking at me with concern, and handed her my needle. She gave me the second one. I took it, and once again stabbed myself in the name of medicine. She gave me her pity smile as she handed me the last shot. I sighed, injecting myself for the final time that afternoon. At 7pm it would be the same exact thing.

The nurse then took the injections away to clean and I felt like I could breathe again. Happy Birthday, Dillon. On my seventeenth birthday, instead of partying and doing crazy stuff, I was sitting on a hospital bed, and actually I wasn't even sitting on my own, the hospital bed was propping me up. I was drinking this horrible vitamin juice meant to build up my immunity. I was waiting for my parents who lived across the street to come with some present and tell me they are so sorry that I couldn't be out in the real world doing everything they did when they were my age, just like every other fucking birthday I have ever had. Since I could remember anyway.

I was going to have to just sit still and do nothing. Big surprise. I grabbed my remote control and turned on the TV. For my fifteenth birthday my parents got me my first ever video game, it was a PS2, now I have a PS3 and an Xbox One and a whole bucket load of games. Some of them were sick perks. I piled them up on a side of my bed so that I could have easy access to them, and on special occasions I allowed myself to play for as long as I wanted to. Today would be one of those days. I would lazy around and play, be able to do something with myself and with my time other than just think about how I'd rather be anywhere but where I am now.

Weak. Helpless. Alone. I turned on the Xbox and started my newest game, Ground Zero, I started playing for a few minutes when there was a knock on my door. I paused the game.

"Yeah?"

"Honey, it's us." My mom's voice. I rolled my eyes at the cooing. I was seventeen.

"Alright, you guys can just come in you know." I replied. The door creaked open. My mother came in with a timid smile, and my father followed her.

"Hey, how're you doing?" My father said, trying to act strong, but his eyes told of his fear. Something was off.

"I'm good, you know, never been better." I grinned at them. My mother half laugh half choked.

"Happy birthday, sweetie!" She gave me hug. My father then came and patted me on the back.

"Happy birthday, bud." I nodded at them.

"Yep. I think one more birthday and I'll be happy." My mother frowned.

"What do you mean?" My father asked me, his voice stern. I smiled.

"I mean, one more year till I'm outta here right? No more injections, no more lying in bed all day, no more wishing I could actually have a life. When I'm eighteen I don't have to be here anymore. Look, I know how to take care of myself, all I gotta do is take those injections, I've been doing them by myself for years." My father's face got angrier and angrier as I continued.

"You don't know what you're saying." His voice dipped dangerously low.

"No, you don't know what I'm saying." My father's eyes narrowed.

"Don't you talk to me like that."

"Or what?!" I yelled. Rare. I lowered my voice. "What are you gonna do, huh? Stop paying my bills, stop supporting me so that your little business can take off? You think I don't know what's going on with our family. You think I don't know that we're broke?! What the hell are you going to do, kill me?!" My father grabbed my hospital shirt and pulled me up. My mother screamed and slapped him.

"Get out of here Phil, now!" She glared at him. "Now! And don't come back in here if you're planning on hurting him."

"He's dying, Shanelle! Stop protecting him. If he wants to go out when he's eighteen we can't stop him. I'm not paying the bills for an ungrateful child."

"You're not paying my bills because you don't got any money, you selfish son of a-"

"Enough!" My mother screamed. "The nurses are bound to be here any minute. You two shut up. I want you out of here Phil. And I don't know what's going on with you Dill, but if you talk to your father like that I'll be the one hurting you. Got it?" I nodded slowly. My father left, slamming the door behind him.

"I'm surprised the nurses haven't already come." My tone was soft.

"They know your father and I know how to handle you. They're not too worried. Besides, I'm sure we're not the only family with anger issues."

"I don't have anger issues." I defended myself.

"Then why the hell did you yell at your father like that? Huh? You know he's stressed right now, he's ready to take it out on anyone. You know that."

"Maybe I wanted him to take it out on me. I feel so helpless, mom. I can't do anything. I can't be anything. I just sit around all day hoping that I'll be strong enough to even walk out for lunch or dinner. My happiest moments are when I'm out, even if only for five minutes before Ruta says 'That's enough, he'll bleed to death.'" My mother's eyes widened.

"She says that?"

"She doesn't mean it. It's just who she is. But that's not the point." I sighed. "The point is, I need to live, mom. I need to know what it's like to drive a car, get a job, go to a dance, and be loved. I want to be able to be there for you guys. I feel so stupid and cheated."

"Honey, I know you want to be there for us. But right now, the only way you can be there for us, is not disrespecting us." I nodded.

"I didn't mean to--I wasn't going to--I just don't get why you guys are so afraid of me dying all the time."

"Because you could die, anytime. Dill, you're at the highest risk factor. The doctor pulled us in before we came here and said, you're just getting worse as you age and get stronger. For some reason, it's making the blood clots worse. Moving could trigger internal bleeding. Anything could." Tears were forming in her eyes. "You know Dill that if there was anything your father and I could do, we would do it. No matter the cost. The two of us, we really don't want to lose you." The tears slid down her face. I brought my hand up and wiped them away.

"I promise I'll fight mom, I'll live. Don't worry. And I promise I'll never talk to dad like that again. I just thought it was about the money. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." My mother wrapped her arms around me and I held her tightly as she cried. "It's okay mom." I told her.

"I'll figure something out."

Juno Jones

"You should really get that checked up."

I looked up from my elbow and the boy who found me in the closet sat down next to me. I laughed nervously. "Sorry. I, uh, can't really help it." I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Sorry. It's Evan, right?"

He nodded. We sat in silence for a moment sneaking glances at each other before he mumbled something after catching my gaze. "Rally said it would be awkward."

I shrugged. "This isn't awkward. What's awkward is finding me in a closet with god knows what all over me." The skin around his eyes crinkled as he smiled slightly. Even though he was skinny, the only other thing that hinted at his disease were his eyes. They seemed tired and worn just like almost everyone else's around here. My staring caused some color to show through on his cheeks and he fumbled with one of his sleeves avoiding my eyes. I turned away for a moment to cough.

"You look better now," Evan started, "not that you looked particularly bad when I found you I just mean, well, you sounded pretty sick and now you sound only somewhat sick."

"I'm always pretty sick." I laughed. "Some days I'm just better at hiding it."

"Me too." Evan said so softly I didn't know if he wanted me to hear. I reached over to the coffee table in front of us and grabbed the two Xbox controllers. I offered one to him.

"Wanna play?" He chewed it over, running his thumbs over the buttons. "Afraid I'll kick your ass?"

The small light returned to his eyes. "You couldn't if you tried." Evan flipped on the TV and put in some racing game. To be honest, I had no clue how to play. Sure, I'd been in the rec room before but I'd never used the video games. The little stoplight on the screen turned green and I pressed all the buttons until I found the accelerator. It was pretty easy after I got the hang of it. The noise from the other kids behind us grew louder but we ignored it.

"I think you cheated." I sighed, setting down my remote after losing for the fifth time.

Evan held up his hands in mock surrender. "Yep, you caught me." I rolled my eyes and smiled, then leaned away to cough.

"I'm really glad I met you." I said, blushing. "And I'm also glad I didn't scare you away."

Rhaeann August

She's pretty, and I hate her.

This sounds dumb and shallow, but I've seen the people here and it's all... skinny from the disease, skinny from the disease, skinny from the disease... and me, where skinny is my disease. I don't understand how someone that wasn't skinny to the point of death even ended up here, because that was part of the whole point, right? We're all dying, all starving, and she struts in sort of like a healthy angel.

I know she is expecting something as a reply, and so I just sort of echo her words back at her. ""It's nice to meet you."

She is still looking at me, and so I look back, envying every curve of her body where mine is just straight. Is that how bodies are supposed to look? I realize she might still be expecting something. It seems that people always are.

"Rhaeann, are you new? I swear it isn't that bad here, even though the fact that it's a hospital is a turn off. Things can be fun, especially here in the rec room."

"Call me August. Yeah, I'm new."

She wants more, but she obviously hasn't seen me, because I have nothing to give. When I try to spin things from thin air, the air turns sour like my breathe, my words harsh and useless and dull.

She seems awkward now, her words quieter, but she's foolishly persistent. "The nurses and stuff are pretty nice, and I've actually learned stuff from the school system, which is-"

I have to let the sour go. "Why are you here?"

"What?"

"Why are you so damn healthy and yet are sitting here in a hospital?"

"It's really none of your business, August. It's frowned on here to ask question about people's diseases."

"Now your condescending too? " I shake my head, the movement really doing nothing to the flip of my hair. "I don't understand. Why are you well?"

Why am I so sick?

I'm out of breath, even just standing and talking. My loud breathing makes the nervous Katarina even more nervous, and she steps back, into the area of the cross skinny dude I met earlier.

When he rises, his face contorted with anger, he doesn't seem so small anymore.

Ralier Fisher

He was exhausted. He'd slept little and woke too early. He was emotionally drained too as well as physically. While he felt perfectly fine after Ms. Emilie left, it didn't take long before he missed her again. He tried to distract himself by taking his roommate out for some fun, but that worked out as well as he thought it would. Well, he should give the boy more credit. They weren't having such a bad time until that girl interrupted.

Instead he went to his favorite corner and sat now with his books and utensils. The image of Ms. Emilie's face was still fresh in his mind so he decided to sketch it out. The drawing was coming pretty well. He was no artist, never was, but he could show her the picture without being too embarrassed. He was just about to get up and retire to his room until Dinner when suddenly someone stepped back onto the picture, crumbling the paper and ripping it out of his sketchbook.

'No...'

"What is wrong with you?!"

The girl backed away from him slowly as he approached, bumping into the new girl that stood behind her before stumbling away again only to face Rally.

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry! Everyone's fucking sorry. You are sorry, you dumb bitch! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?! Is it a habit of yours to step into people's personal spaces? Do you not know how to behave yourself? Were you raised in a fucking barn?!"

Rally reached out and grabbed her arm, jerking her towards him to get a look at her band. She cried out and tried to pull herself away, but even sick and fragile he was still stronger than her, and he didn't let go. The guard in the room, who was nearly dozing off in the corner, woke immediately and went to restrain Rally.

"ADHD," Rally spat. "I should have known, no normal person-"

"You again," the guard sighed as he physically carried Rally out of the room. "You're a handful, know that kid?"

"No normal person would be such a spaz," he continued to scream, even after the door had closed and he was being taken away. "You people ruin everything! I hate this place! I want to go home!"

--

He didn't know what he expected. Banned from the Bash. He almost saw it coming. Really he didn't care. That girl was an idiot and she needed to know it. Well... maybe he cared a little. He was on restrictions as well. He wasn't allowed to leave the room or walk around without a guard, also he wasn't allowed back into the rec room at all until after the Bash. He didn't care considering he started chemo the next day and would be bedridden anyway. He didn't want to be around those idiots anymore in the first place.

His parents were both sat on Evan's bed, angry about having to drive all the way back down to McCormick. Unlike most of the parents of the terminal kids, his decided not to move to the Ronald McDonald house. They weren't going to let Rally's sickness interfere with their life plans. Ruta stood by the door, her arms folded across her chest, observing the scene. She kept trying to make eye contact with Rally but he ignored her.

They all watched him silently while he colored. He'd been sedated with painkillers some time before they arrived, which was good because he was starting to hurt again. The pleasant daze also calmed him down significantly. Everything was slow and easy.

"What are we going to do with you, Rally?"

"Are you going to be here long," he slurred, not looking up. "I have to go for Dinner soon."

His father sighed and stood up, his hands thrown into the air.

"I can't do this, Helen. Leave that little shit alone if he wants to be alone."

"Geoff you take that back!"

"I mean it. I'm done."

"Then bye," Rally snapped. "I don't want you here anyway."

Ruta stepped forward and placed a hand gently on Geoff's shoulder.

"Maybe we should step out, let Rally rest. We can talk further about possible psychiatric help. I imagine there may be some other factors affecting his anger."

"Is cancer not enough," he spat in reply.

They all left the room quietly, ignoring him completely. When the door shut he threw everything within reach at it. When that didn't do anything he buried his face into his pillow and pulled the covers over his head.

He was exhausted.

He felt he'd always be.

Wias Harrisone

Wias was standing outside of the hospital building he was just admitted to by his now deceased grandmother. He was holding his small, black suitcase in one hand and a scrapbook in the other hand. As he stared at the building, questions filled his mind. How long will I be here for? Is this really a good place for me to stay? Are there certain rules to follow? Wias clutched his scrapbook to his chest as he noticed one of the doctors walking out to him.

"Are you Wias Harrisone?" The male doctor asked him kindly.

Wias nodded at the man, feeling a little scared about the situation he was in. The doctor introduced himself as Scott Ford, one of the well-known doctors in the hospital. Scott told Wias about McCormick Hospital as they walked around inside the building, heading towards the room Wias is supposedly staying in while he is here.

"This is your room, Wias. You'll be rooming with Dillon Baker. Don't worry, he won't bite." Scott smiled at Wias as he nodded at the kind doctor. "It'll be dinner soon, so whenever you're done unpacking, you can meet up with the other patients for dinner." Wias nodded again as Scott left the room. Wias stared at Dillon, who was playing his videogames at the moment.

"Ah, you must be my new roommate? Wias, right?"

Wias nodded once again. "Ah, you're not much of a talker huh? Well, your bed's over there. You can leave whenever, I must stay here." Dillon went back to his game as Wias headed to his bed, placing his suitcase on top of the bed's surface. As Wias sat down on the floor, leaning against the edge of the bed, he opened his scrapbook, staring intensely into it.

Dillon looked at Wias, pausing his game as he felt concerned to what was Wias looking at. "Hey, what you got there?" Dillon walked over to where Wias was, staring at pictures of a woman who seemed a little but older than the two.

"She looks pretty. Is that your mom?" Dillon smiled at Wias as Wias nodded at him.

A knock was heard on the door as one of the nurses popped her head inside the room. "Hello, Wias. It's time for your daily check-up." Dillon stared at the two, and then... popped out the big question. "So what are you here for? Mine is haemophilia."


"...Leukemia." Wias spoke in a soft voice.

"Ohhh..." Dillon sat back down on his side of the room, playing his game more.

After the nurse was done with the daily check-up, she informed Wias that he is allowed to go out to eat dinner with the other patients. Wias stared at Dillon, who seemed like that he wasn't allowed to leave the room most times.

"Um... Miss... If it's okay, I would like to eat here with Dillon tonight." Wias spoke softly once again, surprising Dillon in the process.

"Well... okay, Wias." The nurse left as Wias sat down on the floor next to his bed.

"You didn't have to do that y'know." Dillon smirked as he kept playing his game.

Wias smiled a bit, feeling like he had just made his first friend.

Juno Jones

I sat on my bed later, scribbling into my journal. I was so engrossed in my writing I hardly looked up when Katarina walked in. I dismissed the first few sniffles, thinking maybe she just had to sneeze or something but after a while I grew suspicious and dropped my pencil. I could tell by the way she was hunched over that something was wrong. Her back was towards me and she hid her face behind her hands.

"Katarina?" I said softly. "Hey, you okay?" Shoving my journal back under my mattress, I hopped off my bed and cautiously walking over to her. She glanced at me for a moment before dropping her head back into her hands. Her cheeks were streaked with tears and her eyes were swollen from crying. "If you, uh, ever want to talk about it, I'm here." I offered weakly. "I probably won't know what to say, but I'll listen." I waited for her to say something but she didn't so I rubbed her back and ignored the tickle in my chest. After a while she squeezed my hand gratefully and I left her alone for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Scott came in dressed fully in his Santa outfit. He had a giant bag of tiny candy canes and tossed one to me. "Happy Christmas Eve!" Scott placed a candy cane on Katarina's bedside table. "She's still sleeping, huh? You two stay up gossiping about boys last night?"

I shook my head, laughing. "Unfortunately, no." Scott fiddled with the nebulizer and handed me the mouth piece.

"Oh, Ruta is making the announcement soon but we're having a mandatory Welcome Night tonight." Scott said, scratching the fake beard. The nebulizer kept me from being able to say anything but I rolled my eyes. "We, the nurses, have noticed that most of you aren't putting yourselves out there enough. We hope this Welcome Night will give you guys that nudge you need to connect with the other patients." He turned the nebulizer off and the mist stopped.

"Mandatory?" I asked, in between coughing.

He nodded. "Yeah, if you want to go to the Winter Bash." In all the years I've been here, I had never gone to the Winter Bash. Yeah, the idea intrigued me and I've heard stories about it but for some reason I never went. "Are you going this year? To the dance?" I shrugged. "Well, you should consider it. I'm not sure what time Welcome Night starts. Ruta is supposed to announce it over the intercom so listen closely." Scott set aside my nebulizer and gave me a quick once over. "You're free to go. See you at Welcome Night?"

"Maybe." I sighed. "Will you still be wearing that?"

"Of course! Bye, Juno." I watched Scott leave, whistling jingle bells as he went. I unwrapped my candy cane, stuck it in my mouth and debated whether or not to go to the dance.

Rhaeann August Atkins

I'm sitting in my room arguing with myself when a very sharp looking woman barges in.

I should yell at her, and I would if I wasn't so exhausted. My whole body hurts and my brain is starting to shut down just so my body doesn't have to. I can hardly think straight, pulling the duller-than-a-plush-toy needle through the fabric. It's a mindless, comforting habit, and I don't have to relay on the events of the day. Everyone in that room... thinks I'm a jerk.

The lady stares at me, long and hard. "There's been a mix up in your room. You're bunking with two other girls in a room down the hall. I apologize, but I'm here to help you move your stuff."

I look at my room, the walls that my parents tediously decorated to my instruction this morning, but still managed to get wrong.

"Yeah, sure. I've been uprooted enough. What's one trip down the hall?"

The nurse doesn't show much emotion, just helps me re-box my stuff. She carries it all down the hall, but will have to make multiple trips. She does the same thing to my new room as she does to my old; barges in, where two young girls look startled as she places a box on the third bed. She leaves to go fetch the rest of it, and I am left with two girls looking at me, surprised.

I'm too tired for this. Being mean is so much work.

They are both very average looking, the sort of girls that wear sweaters and drink hot chocolate and read books. Those girls always have an excellent taste in music. The one looks quirkier, like she wears her sweaters patterned and her books classic.

"I guess I'm rooming here. There was a mix up or something earlier. I'm Rhaeann August Atkins."

"Hi." One of them gets up, smiles. "I'm Rain, and this is Park."

I wonder what they're here for, but it isn't the brash wondering of Katarina. I can see that Rain is just as exhausted as I am, and there's probably a reason Park didn't get up. They aren't perfect, they're sick. We're all sick.

The nurse keeps bringing things in, giving us sharp glances. I wonder what she's expecting; immediate friendships?

"It's nice to meet you guys. It really is." I hope they weren't in the rec room earlier. That would give them such preconceived ideas.

Park smiles, and it erases her ordinariness for a second. It's a gorgeous smile. "It's good to meet you to."

The nurse brings in the last of my stuff, and leaves. I go to put my clothes in what I presume will be my part of the closet, but I'm only halfway through before I get out of breathe. I look to Rain or Park, but Park is reading, and Rain has fallen gently asleep. I shove what I have left into a corner, unwilling to ask. I crawl into bed, pull my small body around me, and sleep for days.

Evan Cartee

"Evander? Evander, are you awake, honey? Wake up, sweetie, it's Christmas Eve!"

Evan squirmed a little and even almost said out loud, 'Okay, mom, but just a few more minutes...and hours,' and then almost sneaked a peek out to the cookie-scented reality of Christmas in his festive home, but the smell of sterilization and disease overpowered the goodness of it all.

He's still in the hospital. Not the horrible hospital the state over where they overdosed him in electroconvulsive therapy to the point where he could not talk or even think straight, not the literally depressed hospital another state over that only held patients with severe patients who in the end thought they were superior over Evan and even bullied him, not the hospital another state over that treated their patients like criminals behind bars and did not give them the opportunity to do anything but mope around some more in their room—no, this was McCormick Hospital, where the patients had to wear red bands and attend tutoring on Saturdays and were free to pretty much to whatever... It was actually not that bad, especially since yesterday was a pretty great day.

"Oh, come now, son, it's Christmas Eve."

Dad? Evan opened his eyes and rolled around to face them, slowly sitting up straight. "Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?"

His mom embraced him in a tight hug. "We're here to see you, silly!"

But you'd never come with dad, he thought, sneaking glances at him. Ever since Evan fell into a deep depression at his initial stages, his parents fought and argued constantly, blaming one another until they finally broke off their marriage. He hasn't seen the two of them together for a while, so a sight like this was very rare.

"Long drive?" was all her could muster up as his mom pulled away.
His dad sighed then smiled, wrinkles forming around the creases of his eyes and cheeks. "All worth to see you," he said. "How are you, son? Are you feeling any better?"

"I'm actually feeling..." He brought the corners of his lips down in a not bad stance and bobbed his head back and forth, looking for the right word. "...Pretty okay, actually. This place isn't bad."

"Really? Oh, I'm so happy to hear that!" his mom said happily. "I'll go tell the receptionists, and your doctor, and the nurses, and—"
"Um, mom, don't do that. Please."

His mom went on anyways, and even his dad chimed in, which made the tips of Evan's lips turn up just a little. It was nice to see both of them—his mom and his dad—come in for support together on a Christmas Eve. He was about to say something bland like how they were lame, lame parents, but for a moment he looked past them and noticed Rally, who was still laying in his bed, much to Evan's embarrassment. Though he didn't wear a look of sneer. Instead...he seemed to look at him in a mixture of anger and regret. It was almost like...an ashamed jealousy.

"Evan? Evan, honey?" his mom called out to bring his attention back. "Unfortunately, we can't stay for Christmas, which is why we came today while we can. So," she brought out a small, rectangular object all packaged up in cheesy Christmas wallpaper with mini Santas saying 'Ho ho ho!' as a ginormous ribbon placed on top nearly engulfed the present, "I brought you this."

He took it, not knowing what to say or expect, because he would most likely not like the gift or really not care about it just like the other extravagant gifts they tried giving him.

"Go on, open it," his dad pushed.

Reluctantly, he did—and a mix of emotions came over him. It was a framed picture of the days before the depression hit. He was standing at a park with his friends and family, and even had his ex-girlfriend holding onto him with a perfect pearly smile. He was so healthy back then, and he was also smiling. Everyone was smiling. Everyone was happy.

He didn't know how to feel about this.

"Happiness can be achieved," his mom said. "Just look at you smiling. Remember that." She daintily tapped his nose and smiled. "Remember that you can be happy, and that we all love you. We really, really do."

"Good morning," Ruta's choppy voice said over the intercom. "Welcoming Night is now Welcoming Morning due an expected amount of parents visiting during hours. All patients please report to the cafeteria for breakfast and games. It is mandatory if you want to go to the Winter Bash."

The Winter Bash? Is there going to be a dance? This was the first time he's heard of it. Placing the picture on the desk, he started to get up out of bed. "You heard what she said. Looks like I've gotta run."

His mom attacked him with another hug, and his dad pat him on the shoulder. "We'll see you later," they said. "We'll visit you again in a couple hours."

"Alright, bye," he said as they left.

Well, might as well start the day with some scrumdiddlyumptious food...after he shakes off the fact that Rally was still staring at him.

The last thing I remembered before ending up in a hospital bed was an intense pain in my chest. It was the worst pain I had ever felt, like a million tiny needles were slowly being shoved into my flesh. Freezing sweat dribbled down my now deathly jaundice skin, it was almost like each drop held weight as my vision blurred and I was drug to the ground by an invisible force. I was trying to breathe, but I couldn't draw in any oxygen, all I was doing was recycling my own carbon dioxide, like I was breathing in my own poison. I couldn't describe what was happening around me if I tried, it was like each figure that stood above my convulsing body was just a grey shroud, their smokey entrails streaking through the air as they moved in what seemed like slow motion. All I could hear was the arrhythmic off-beat pulse of my straining heart, each throbbing convulsion pulsating through my eardrums.

I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, it was like my mind was trying to process too much at once and my internal frame rate dropped to a level where all I could compute were the lagging beats of my spastic organ and the throbbing pain it radiated across my body. Every moment I was in this foggy, half dead state was like I was trapped in my own personal purgatory. It was like I was trying to move through a sea of grey, foggy pain as shrouds formed and melted back into the mist above me. My body was like a rag doll, each pain sending convulsions through my now limp, passive form. My last shred of memory before I let the mist surround me and the grey shrouds take my body, was the hopeless feeling that I may die.

Now I was in a tiny, cold room covered by thin itchy sheets, the fabric rubbing my skin raw and my own nails having left long red marks down my irritated flesh. I stared up at the ceiling, counting the number of small black dots peppered into whatever material was above my head. I reached over and lightly brushed the back of my fingers across the wall paper, how long had I been out?

My question was answered as I looked over and noticed a stack of comic-books on my bed side stand, my nanny, Rita had been there. She had probably stayed by my side until she had to go back home to supervise the rest of the staff.

"Jesse?"

I sat up and looked over at a young nurse with obsidian black hair, he smiled as he checked his clipboard. "You were out for awhile, we were actually worried about you for a bit, a young man like you shouldn't be having a heart attack as severe as you did... but then again you seem like a fighter, someone who won't let a heart attack get in your way," he smiled and sat next to my bed.

I laughed, my voice a little hoarse. "Yeah, well I certainly wasn't expecting it, I don't even remember coming here, all I remember is I was with my physical trainer then an intense pain in my chest... and now I'm here."

The nurse handed me a paper cup filled with water. "My name's Scott by the way, and from what it sounds like I think we might get to know each other better."

"What do you mean?" I asked, setting down the cup and moving to the side of my bed, my legs now dangling just above the cool, white linoleum floor.

"Well, when someone your age has a heart attack that severe, and well, deadly, we assumed you had a heart problem and you do." He pointed to a band on my wrist.

I squinted at the blurry black letters until Scott laughed. "Sorry, I forgot to give you these," he handed me my glasses. "Your... guardian told me to give them to you before she had to leave."

Putting them on I read the writing on my band.

Jesse Gregory Shutt, Grade: 11, Age: 16, Sex: Male. Ischemic Heart Disease

"You're at an extremely high risk for another heart attack, and the doctors don't think your heart could take another one as severe as your last,"

"So... I'm stuck here?" I said slowly, trying to comprehend my situation.

Scott smiled. "Just think of it like a new school, you're gonna make new friends, new experiences, plus your parents already payed for the best treatments possible, only the best physical therapy and medications... Look Jesse, you're going to be fine, why don't you go to the Welcoming Morning and meet some of the other patients your age."

After Scott left, I got up and looked around the room, Rita had left me a suitcase with all my favorite clothes, even my 3DS and phone. I sighed, judging by the amount of things she left me, it looks like I was going to be in the hospital awhile. After getting dressed in a white T-shirt with a black Spiderman logo, blue skinny jeans and my favorite pair of boat shoes, I decided to go down to the Welcoming Morning and hopefully make some friends, since it seems like I was going to be at the hospital for quite some time.

[written with AWritingAffliction]



After Park left I spent the next hour sorting out my stuff. I saw she had somehow managed to sort her things, so I figured I should organize mine. The picture I put on the bed-side table, and then one by one I drew out my clothes, my faded jeans, my grey t-shirt, then my blue one, then my pink one. I frowned at the bright color and flung it to the side in exhaustion. Closing my eyes I saw a little girl who played with dolls in a pink dress, she was laughing and her hair was long, flying in the air behind her as she was running around her house.

"Rain, you stop now!" Her father was telling her, he was laughing as well.

"You could get hurt, Rain!" He told her as he chased her quickly around the whole place. It was a foreign place, a small but comfortable looking apartment. There were vases everywhere the little girl turned, some were plain brown pots, other's were huge china vases with pretty patterns on them. There were real plants growing from the vases, and then fake plants placed in the soil to hide the real plants growing. The little girl wouldn't even have known of the real plants if she didn't see her father taking from them when he thought no one was looking.

"Rain, get back here you little bug!" Her father caught her and she shrieked as she was pulled from her feet and swung in the air, onto her father's shoulders.

"Daddy! Daddy, put me dowwwwwn!" She whined, he knew she was scared of heights. He liked to tease her about it. He slowly brought her down but held her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He was looking at her sadly, like there was something wrong, like something was coming that was bad.

"What did I say about making flower crowns for your dolls?" He asked her. She shrugged and squirmed. She didn't like being scolded. "Rain." He said sternly.

"I won't." She told him. He laughed and set her down.

"You won't, what?" He asked turning his head to the side.

"I won't make 'em. The flower crowns. I won't." He smiled.

He walked over to one of the pots and pulled the real plants out and took one. Twisted it into a crown for one of her dolls.

"This is your last one you get, you hear me." She nodded.

"Jeff! Don't you give our daughter that!"

My eyes opened and my head was heavy. I was breathing in and out quickly. I looked around me and tried to calm down. I hadn't spazzed out, I just fell asleep. My slight groggy feeling told me it was sleep. If it was a seizure I would have an extremely painful migraine and would probably have done something insane and would be quarantined. I slipped out of the bed, just as Park strutted back in the room.

"Hi," I said, giving her a small smile. I figured I might as well be a bit more friendly.

"Hi," She replied. She looked a little bit more shaken than when she had left. "Did you get some sleep?" She asked. I nodded.

"How was the rec room?" I asked her.

"Crazy." She replied with a laugh. "But I got to do this," She pulled out some paper and I saw a beautiful portrait of a boy who looked stuck up, afraid, confident, and lovely all at the same time. I smiled.

"That's amazing."

"He is a boy here." She told me, smiling. I turned away for a moment and stifled a little giggle. It's cute, but we're all dying here. At least, I am. I think. I hope.

"What do you like to do?" She asked sitting on her bed, flipping through sketches of other kids. I quickly picked up the shirt I had flung to the floor and stored it in the drawer for my things. I shrugged.

"Oh come on, you have to like to do something." I sighed.

"What I like to do, millions, or most likely, billions of other people like to do it as well. So it doesn't really matter." I turned away, and then turned back. "But for what it's worth, it's singing. I like to sing."

"Awesome! Singing is great." I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, it is." I tried to forget the last time I really sang happily. The last time I sang for my mom and dad. Tears rimmed my eyes, and I pushed them away. I needed a distraction, any distraction.

And then the perfect distraction. A nurse came in and said that we were having another roommate. I perked up immediately and even introduced myself and Park, Park who seemed a little more reserved than natural. The girl was tall, dark skinned and model like. She seemed to be sizing us up and that made me angry, but I held back. Perhaps I should give her a chance, I didn't want to judge people. When she was done she said in her overly polite voice,

"It's nice to meet you guys. It really is." Nice to meet us, my ass. I thought. Don't judge, Rain, don't. I decided to lie down and pretend to sleep. I saw from the corner of my eye as the nurse left and Park started occupying herself with stuff.

"Park." I whispered. She turned to me.

"Do you think we can trust her?" For once Park seemed quite serious.

"Honestly, I don't know." She told me. "She caused a bit of a scene with the boy in my drawing. She seems... I don't know... unstable. But aren't we all? So I don't know."

I nodded. I decided to make sure to keep an eye on her.



"Good morning, Welcoming Night is now Welcoming Morning due an expected amount of parents visiting during hours. All patients please report to the cafeteria for breakfast and games. It is mandatory if you want to go to the Winter Bash."

My eyes opened heavily and I quickly shot out of bed. I turned to my friend to see that she was already up and I heard the bathroom running. Unsurprisingly I woke late. Most of last night I spent softly singing to myself, trying to fall asleep. Like usual the singing didn't really work. The singing just brought back memories, which brought back fears, and tears, and worries. Then I stay up reminiscing and hoping, and getting bitter and angry, and sad, and then a little happy that at least I could remember a little. So I definitely was not surprised I was awake late. And woken by Ruta's loud voice. Park got out of the bathroom, and I ran towards it.

As I was brushing my teeth I called out for the one and only dress that I owned. It was actually my mom's dress. When I was told to pack and leave my house, I took the dress that I always saw her wear for special occasions, a beautiful daisy floral dress that ended at my knees. I decided that whenever anything significant happened or the start of new times in my life I would wear it. I would have worn it to the hospital, but I felt that would have been strange. Now I had an excuse to keep my mom close. Even if I would be overdressed, it was an excuse nonetheless.

"Here you go, and woah, it's gorgeous!" Park said as she handed me the dress from the door. I grinned at her for the first time.

"Thank you. It was my mom's."

Katarina - Morning After

I wasn't trying to be mean when I talked to August, but instead I ended up making her mad and then Rally I didn't mean to step on his crayons and coloring book. But his worlds rang in my ears though the night.

"No normal person would be such a spaz,"

"Sorry! Everyone's fucking sorry. You are sorry, you dumb bitch! Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?! Is it a habit of yours to step into people's personal spaces? Do you not know how to behave yourself? Were you raised in a fucking barn?!"

His words had me tossing and turning all night it wasn't until later that I awoke to a quiet room. I sat up in my bed and looked around to see that Juni was awake.

"Hey sleepy head!" she said as she was sucking on a candy cane.

"Hey," I said "what time is it?"

"Close to noon," she said "hey you want a candy cane? Scott brought them in oh and get this we're having a mandatory welcome night,"

"Welcome night?" I asked.

"Yeah apparently people around here aren't talking to each other much so they're giving us a nudge and try to socialize with one another," she said.

"I see" I said as I pulled the blankets off my legs and sat at the edge of my bed, "when is it happening?"

"Don't know, Scott said Ruta was going to make an announcement about it soon," Juni said.

I got out of bed and walked over to the mirror me and Juni shared and looked at myself.

"I got bed head and everything, jeez tear streaks to and my make up is smeared."

"You never did answer me last night," Juni said.

"What?" I said looking back at her

"You were crying the other day when you came in, what happened?" she asked.

"Oh that jerk Rally happened is all," I said.

After that me and Juni began talking on and on about everything that happened in the Rec Room, telling her about August and how she yelling and accusing me, how I accidentally stepped on Rally's coloring book and got him angry. She believed me when I said it was all an accident.

"Don't worry about Rally he's a jerk to everyone," she said.

"I know, but you know my ADD" I said.

"Yeah I know, but I do think you could learn a lesson from Rally," she said.

"Like what?"

"Stop needing everyone's acceptance and just start saying screw everyone I mean seriously you don't need everyone's acceptance just the people you care about!" she said.

I shook my head I try to but something else just takes over, "I'm going to take a shower be back soon," I said as I grabbed two towels.

Rhaeann August

I wake up to someone saying my name, and that allows in illusion to form quickly and then to snap. I will the voice to be my mother's, I will this day to be a busy Christmas Eve with my family, I will the truth to morph into happy little lies.

I open my eyes.

It's Rain, with her pale skin and soft hair, peering down at me. The image in my head disperses, the fog of happiness turns into poison. This is my reality: I am sick.

"Wake up, Rhae. We have to go to an Welcome Day."

I hardly know her and I hate to ask her a favor, but my muscles have had a long rest from our battle, and have woken up viciously. Waking up is easy, but getting up is hard.

I offer her my hand. "Can you, um..." Rain kindly obliges."Wasn't that welcome thing tonight, anyway?"

"It got switched." Park pipes in.

I don't want to look at Rain's face, already embarrassed by showing weakness. I look between their bodies, plastered in nice clothes.

"Thanks for getting me up. You guys look really nice."

They both nod, and they leave. They are far kinder than I'd previously thought. I have the area to change without looking at my body in bathroom mirrors or the fear of other people glaring at me. Following Rain's example, I pull out one of my dresses, but one of the already-freaky-skinny ones, so it's pretty billowy. It's pretty, all flowered, but I can still hide under it.

In the bathroom, I do my make-up, and brush my short hair into something that looks stylish. I allow myself to look in the mirror. I don't look that sick. I look almost normal. This is what I try to tell myself.

I walk down the hallways, following signs and people's voices. Eventually, I enter a large room full of people. No parents, though I expect they'll be coming later.My parents are home. They aren't coming. We already had Christmas, and they will spend the real Christmas without kids. Maybe they will go see Grammie and Grandpa, Aunt Lena and her kids, and they won't even miss me. STOP, Rhaeann August. You know Lena and her kids love you. Tia thinks you are the most perfect human in the world. Get through this. Prove her right.

I push my way through, trying to get some breakfast. I won't really eat anything, but it's the only thing I know how to do. People are chatting, though some look forced. Some people are playing games, but I suck at everything except for Jenga. I manage to grab myself a cup of fruit and sit back down, meditating on a Jenga tower someone set up and left. Probably on purpose.

To my surprise, someone is wheeled up besides me. The first thing I see is the happy smile of a male nurse and the second thing I say is a whole lot of ginger.

"Hello!" This is the male nurse. "I've got something to do quickly so, if you don't mind, I'm leaving Dillon with you. I'll be right back."

I open my mouth to reply, but he winks at the boy and practically sprints away.

The ginger and I look at each other for awhile, until his gaze drops. He looks back up quickly. "I, um, I'm sorry about him. He's very... uh, well, excited is the best word, to get me out of my room." A long pause. "I'm Dillon."

"I'm Rhae."

We both stare at our laps for a second, until I can remember who I used to be; a little more fearless, without the disease eating me. He's kinda cute, in a comfortingly normal way, and I can pretend his wheelchair is just a seat.

"Do you want to play? I'm really good at Jenga, I'm just warning you."

He cracks a smile. "Yeah, I guess it won't hurt."

The way he says hurt seems to hold a ridiculous amount of meaning to him. We take turns just drawing out blocks. I see the male nurse out of the corner of my eyes, lingering. I don't think he ever really left. Dillon must be very severe.

I love the concentration Jenga takes. It makes you forget about stuff for a little while. Everything wrong with me, everything wrong with him, fades away into a world of suspense.

The tower is tipsy.

"Have you been here long?" Dillon asks.

"Are you trying to distract me?"

"Well, no, not... that's not..." His ginger face blushes. He tries to concentrate on the tower, but he ends up pulling a bad block, knocking in over the table. "Ah! I'm sorry!"

I scrabble to pick up the pieces, smiling. "Don't be. It means that I just won."

He smiles too, and I feel pretty good about myself, even if it's just for that moment.

Juno Jones

"You ready?" I heard Katarina call from the bathroom. I looked up from my book and held back a groan. She stepped back into the room. Her damp hair clung to her neck almost like flames.

"As ready as I'll get." I sighed. We only got a few feet down the hallway before a line of people reached us.

"Is this the line for the elevators?" Katarina gasped.

"Everyone is trying to get down to the cafeteria for Welcome Morning." I said quietly. I watched Katarina's eyes as they darted between the door for the stairs and me.

"Do you want to..."

"Yeah, why not." I sucked in a deep breath then followed her over to the door.

"We can go slow." She said. The sympathy in her voice killed me. Sympathy is the worst. I hate being looked at as weak, but I can't fight reality. At least here mostly everyone is weak.

I halfheartedly nodded and coughed a to get some of it out before heading down the steps. "Going down the stairs isn't as bad as coming back up them." I explained. I was able to make it down nine steps before I had to take a break to catch my breath. Once I did, I used it to hack more into the crook of my arm. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Katarina gave me a small smile and waited until I was ready to go down the last five. By the time we made it to the cafeteria it probably would've been quicker to have waited in line and taken the elevator. I fought to keep from blushing ashamedly as we walked in. Tons of patients were already there gathered around the tables. Immediately, I searched for Evan but didn't see him in the crowd.

"Where do we go after we get our food?" I whispered, trying not to run into anyone as we made our way to the lines.

"No idea." Katarina mumbled.

I carefully made my way over to the breakfast station and plopped two pancakes on my plate. I turned around to ask Katarina where she wanted to sit but she wasn't behind me anymore. She must've gotten separated from me in the mass of teens. "Great." I muttered under my breath. I spotted an empty seat at a table with two girls and slid into it. They both looked up from their cards as I sat down. "Can I sit here?"

The girl with quirky brown hair nodded and held out her hand. "I'm Park."

I quickly licked the small drip of syrup off my wrist and shook her hand. "Uh, Juno." I kept it out to shake the other girl's hand. After a moment of hesitation she shook it.

"Rain."

I tore off a piece of pancake and dipped it in syrup. "So, what are you playing?"

"Go fish." Rain sighed and threw her cards in the middle. "It's not very fun, but we can start over and deal you in if you'd like."

I looked over my shoulder for Evan and Katarina but I didn't see either of them. I coughed slightly then nodded. "Count me in."

I looked around the cafeteria, it almost was like I was at a new school. Unfamiliar faces talking and laughing, eating and gossiping, almost everyone my age. I was almost intimidated, I was used to moving schools, but this wasn't just a school, I was in a hospital with kids who might of been living there most of their lives. How was I supposed to form bonds with someone who might be dead the next day?

Sighing, I made my way towards the quickly dissipating line for food, it seemed like most people had found tables and people to talk to. I grabbed a tray and started shoveling food on my plate, I was starving, my stomach impatiently growling like a deprived wolf at the sight of the food. I pilled pancakes, sausage, eggs, and toast on my plate like it was my last meal, topping it all off with syrup. I stopped awkwardly after getting my food. Where do I go? I bit my lower lip, a nervous habit I had developed.

I looked around, my eyes darting from table to table. It's not like there were definite cliques that I could choose to befriend or avoid, everybody just seemed like they were more interested in fighting off their conditions than complying to high school stereotypes. After standing for another awkward few minutes, I ended up deciding to sit with a group of girls playing go-fish since they all looked around my age and seemed nice.

I took an empty seat and smiled as they looked up from their game. "Go-fish, my favorite, can I play?" I said. "My name's Jesse by the way."

"Hi, of course course you can play, the more the merrier," one of the girls said, thrusting out her hand. "Park, by the way."

I smiled as she shuffled and started dealing out cards for a new game. "Let me guess... Parkinson's?" I said jokingly.

She glanced up from her cards with a toothy grin. "Lucky guess."

I blinked, honestly not expecting my morbid joke to go over well, I had said it without thinking, let alone for me to even be right. I shifted my attention to one of the other girls, she gave me a quick nervous look. I held one of my hands up in mock surrender.

"I swear I wasn't trying to look at your cards, so don't shoot, I was just going to ask for a name," I half laughed.

Her nervous gaze softened and I swear there was almost a half-smile. "I'm Juniper but people call me Juno," she cleared her throat like she was trying to hold in a cough and her voice sounded slightly raspy.

"Jesse," I looked away from Juno as she started studying her cards again. "Do you have any kings?"

I winced, I had three and I knew Juno had one, since I might of peeked a little at her hand while we talked. "Yeah..." I sighed, handing over my kings to the last girl.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well what?" I answered, lowering my glasses sarcastically.

"Aren't you going to ask for my name?" she replied in mock offense.

"Hey, you took my kings, I don't negotiate with kidnappers."

She smirked and Park giggled a little. "Fine sassy-pants, then I'll just tell you, it's Rain."

"Well Rain, do you have any jacks?" I said, raising my eyebrows.

She furrowed her eyebrows and studied her cards before giving up two jacks. "I'll remember this," she said as I laid down my four jacks.

After we played another ten minutes, of which Park and I were tied, a boy came up to the table. I glanced up and grinned, he noticed me and kind of half-attempted a smirk, but he gave up and just pulled up a seat. I noticed Juno smile as he sat down, what he got one but I didn't?

I stuck out my hand again. "Jesse, but most people call me Jess for short."

He looked at my hand for a second before lightly grabbing it without much enthusiasm. "... I'm Evan, it's uh nice to meet you."

We all looked up as Scott walked up to the table, he smiled. "Well Jesse, looks like you're making friends fast," he looked at both me and Evan after glancing over his shoulder at another boy with ginger hair playing Jenga. Scott must be looking after him right now. "I'm glad you two have met, since there was a mix up with your room Jesse, you're now sharing one with Evan and another boy named Ralier. All your stuff has been moved and I'm sure Evan will show you to it after Welcoming Morning is over."

I looked over at Evan and smiled again, though he seemed unfazed about the entire thing. "Well, looks like we're going to have a lot more time to get to know each other, roomie."

Evan Cartee

"Oh boy," Evan said in a deep breath, imagining his new roommate, Jesse, rooming with him and Rally. Normally Evan wouldn't care that much, but Rally might throw a fit. When Evan's parents left the room and he was about to go ready to leave for the meet-'n-greet, the guy exploded in his face like he violated every crime possible. To make matters just a teensy bit worse, Evan kinda sorta left in the middle of exploding Rally.

Naturally he slightly craned his neck to seek him out, but didn't see the familiar raggedy-looking boy around.

"Are you looking for someone?" Juno asked.
"No," Evan said, quick to reply as he offered a half a smile. "I thought maybe...we could play another game?"

"Oh, good," the other girl across the table said, setting her cards down. "I never liked fishing to begin with. I'm Park, by the way." She seemed to be waiting for him to say something, but he didn't really know what to say.
"Nice to meet you?" he asked more than said, not sure if that's what she wanted to hear.
"It's a pun," she said instead. "You know, as in Parkinson's? ... Never mind."
"Oh... Right."

"And I'm Rain," the other girl chimed in. "No pun on the weather. Just Rain."

Juno started coughing in the middle of Rain's introduction, and the group waited a little bit before she stopped. "Sorry," she said meekly.

"Don't be. It's not your fault," Evan said back.

"Apples to Apples!" Jesse interjected, pushing away Go Fish while reeling in the shiny new red and green card game. "A great game for all us new people. I mean, we are all new, right?"

"I am," Rain said.
Park waved her hand in one quick motion. "So am I."
"I've been here for about two weeks," Evan said.
"Really?" Juno sharped turned to him. "I've been here for a while, and I've only met you yesterday."
"Good thing, too."

Juno smiled weakly and looked down, and Park exchanged glances between the two of them before whispering something in Rain's ear that made the both of them giggle softly.

"See," Jesse ranted on, oblivious to the own conversation starter he conjured as he passed around the cards clockwise, "everyone gets seven red cards, and they're usually verbs or a noun. Someone then picks a green card, which are usually adjectives, off the stack and places it in the middle. Everyone else selects one of their seven red cards that closely identifies with the card and the player who drew it. Then the player picks their favorite, and then whoever drew it gets back their card to count as a point." He smiled brightly like he was a pro at this game. "Wanna try?"

The cards were already in front of everyone, so there probably wasn't any getting out of this anyways.
"Sure," said Rain. "Who goes first?"
"I'll go," Jesse volunteered. "Then Evan, then Juno, then Rain, then Park, and back to me so it's counter-clockwise."

He drew a green card and smacked it on the open table.

Unforgettable.

Evan picked up his cards and examined them.
My bathroom. Doing the dishes. Computers. Ballerinas. Postal workers. Chinatown. The Midwest.

This is one strange game, Evan thought to himself as he drew a card and placed it in the middle with the others.

Jesse hungrily picked them up and began reading them out loud.

"Atlantis, Jupiter, Emily Dickinson... My bathroom." Laughing, he pushed the bathroom card over and discarded the other three. "My bathroom is pretty darn unforgettable. Whose is this?"

"It was either going to be that or ballerinas," Evan said after a pause.
Jesse handed the card over to him. "Here, you get a point. Oh, and by the way, remember the unforgettable bathroom thing now that we're rooming together."

Evan had a feeling that his room was no longer going to be filled with awkward silences or angry yells.

It was now his turn, and so he flipped another green card.

Graceful.

After a moment, everyone threw out a red card for Evan to pick up and read out loud.

"Grace Kelly, body piercings, honeymoon, screeching." He gave everyone a look that said, "Really? ...Reeeeally?" all over it.

"Get it?" Park asked. "Graceful? Grace Kelly?"
"Who is she?"
"I don't know, but her name sure is graceful. Literally."
"You're really punny," Jesse said. "Like, it's in your name too."
"Hilarious."

"Since body piercings and screeches aren't exactly what I'd call graceful, I'll go with honeymoon," Evan announced.

"Yeah, that's me!" Jesse grabbed his card in victory and grinned. "Your turn, Juno."