Young Writers Society

Alright, here's the DT! Questions, comments, concerns, and, most importantly, IDEAS!

Helloooo there people! This'll be my first storybook, so I'm a little nervous. Please take care of me! *bows* I'm open to constructive critism on my characters, writing, etc. and if I do something wrong, kindly tell me.

So... in this storybook,is the government trying to re-capture the people in the Rebellion? What is the Rebellion's goal?

Also... I'm extremely fond of my characters, but I think they're kind of cliche. Would anyone mind scanning their profile, and maybe giving me your opinion? Thank you.

This storybook should be great fun! I look forward to writing with you all!

Hey Daisuki! I'm in the same boat as this will be my first storybook on this site, and my first rp since years.

Also to everyone - my characters and posts are also subject to criticism/feedback So if you have anything you want to discuss, pm me or post here, I guess? I'm not sure how it all formally works.

Your characters are fine ^^ I think it's interesting how you made them act much like a duo. From the looks of things, the powers affected S'oul's personality to the point where she's almost like a pet - the fact she likes to be petted and such and that Sire obviously cares and watches over her I love that aspect and I can't wait to see their interactions. I only wonder how much of her personality is human? And does she want to be more human-like, or is she okay with who she is? These are just questions that came up naturally to me as I read their profile. I think it will be awesome to see them developed!

I do have the same question as to what exactly is the government's role? I see that they are kidnapping people for powers, but why?

I came up with an idea, that perhaps the "powers" are only compatible with certain people. Like if you were to kidnap any old person and give them powers, they would die, or not be able to handle it. But only certain people have the genetic makeup for the powers to be compatible with their bodies and the government being the government would have the technology capable of "reading" this...? So maybe they seek out potential "bodies" that they later kidnap in order to give them the powers. This is just a hypothesis, maybe icebender, you can fill us in if you had something in mind? ^^;

Another point to go along with that, for what purpose is the government implementing this for? Why give people powers in the first place, especially if they're going to rebel...? The people with powers must have been created for a reason, eh?
For that I came up with another possibility - and again - if it's not what you have in mind icebender, sorry ^^ I'm not exactly sure how these things work, but there were a lot of questions I had and I naturally had to work things out in my head in order to get my character straight xP

Perhaps then the government has various dangerous missions (maybe even foreign missions) and needs agents - sort of like secret agents to undergo them. This can explain why the the government tries to kidnap these guys when they're young, to establish their powers, train them as their own, and then use them for their bidding. Obviously, people will not be okay with that.

And why are the goverment chasing the rebels? To kill them? (In that case it becomes counter-intuitive, because I imagine they would waste a lot of resources trying to "create" them, yes?) Or to take their powers back and give them to other people? Or to try to convince or coerce them to join the government? Or other reasons entirely?

Okay, here I am stumped.

Why are people rebeling against the government? Is it a tyranny? A few people hinted at possible motivations in their character profiles, like, because the government "kidnapped" them, or treated them badly, or gave them the powers against their will - basically the government is being painted as some kind of tyranny.

Again, a possible explanation could be because the government is infringing on their freedoms in order to use them for "greater" purposes. I have no idea what these greater purposes are - they'd have to be big.

Other questions: What country/time is this set? I'm assuming this is present-time, so things like cellphones, etc. should be okay?

Wow, lots of questions. I liked your idea that only certain people could handle the powers. Doesn't anyone else think that's cool? It kinda makes our characters special. But that kinda means that before they knew that, did the government kill a bunch of people trying to give them powers?

The thing about what the government will do when they catch them... I feel like they probably wouldn't kill them, but do they have a way to take the powers back? I kinda feel like they shouldn't but... I dunno.

Yeah, sorry for the long post everyone ^^; I've been using this as a sort of procrastination tool. Then I got excited.

But that kinda means that before they knew that, did the government kill a bunch of people trying to give them powers?

Oh, that's a good point, I didn't think about it that way. It would make sense that they would.

but do they have a way to take the powers back?

^^; It was just a suggestion, but thinking it over that could be problematic.

Another possibility is to have all these people escape out of the government's research facility/lab. They could even be designed as prison cells/mental institutions - just to give you a physical idea of what the institute might look like. The government probably kept them in there confined and at points would undergo experiments equivalent of torture? Icebender did mention a painful japanese mark.

The rebels then would have found a way to escape and hide somehow and the government people will be trying to find them and capture them so that they might recommence "operations" ?

Again, just another idea I'm throwing out there.

I will publish my profile once I get the final green-light from ice.

Alright, so sorry for the confusion!

The government is giving people powers so that they, well, actually, be super soilders and spies against the other countries(This is future Earth, by the way, when there are only three countries, the largest one being where our story takes place. Got any ideas for names of them? Sorry, I should have thought of this sooner. They're all about equal size. Sorry!) After giving people their powers, they would try to contain them, but soon realized that they had made them to powerful. Now, they're trying to get them back so that they can take their powers away, or get them under control in the end.
The Rebellion is fighting them for their personal reasons, and because getting powers hurts like heck and usually kills people, because only a very few people can handle it. The Rebellion thinks that kiddnapping children(the tests work better on children, younger the better) and putting them through horrific pain, just to raise them to be assassins, is wrong. Everybody they told couldn't do anything, didn't care, didn't believe them, or was working for the government. So...Now they're basically on their own.
The place where they take them is like an army base. Mostly so then people will stay away, and it's in the middle of nowhere so they can train without interuption. Somewhere like in the mountains. The Rebellion is mostly spread out, but their base is in the middle of the desert. There's like a hole in the ground that leads to a cave system that spreads beneath the desert, which is huge.
Sorry this is so long, and for forgetting to put that in the story plot. I fail.
If this wasn't helpful let me know! If you guys want, we can start writing today!
Sorry again for all the confusion...

Yay! Everything makes sense now ^^ Uh oh, kidnapping children? I hope my character doesn't know about that detail or else things can prove problematic xD

I'm not creative enough to come up with country names xD But if all else fails, we can always resort to calling them: Sector 1, Sector 2, Sector 3 ...or something. ::shrugs::

As government people- are we trying to kill other people with powers, capture them, or somehow take away their powers?

Heyy. It's moi here. (My charrie is Quicksilver XD)

Now, they're trying to get them back so that they can take their powers away, or get them under control in the end.

I kind of get the impression with these types of powers that they're embedded in the person. Like, if their power source was a kind of gem somewhere on their body, that can be easily taken away, but these people are really transformed. So maybe the government can have some way to restrain these people? Or something like if they can lower their energy levels enough, they can't fight... I dunno.

Also, how can this start? Ice, is there a very loose or general plot line?

-Dai (Sire and S'oul)

I had some ideas for the countrys!

1) Versalista
2) Demogridon
3) Emporigradon

Futuristic XD

^ Sounds good to me. Which one's the big country we're in?

Subjectblue, and to answer Daisuki's concerns: I'm getting the impression we're meant to capture the rebels.

Now, they're trying to get them back so that they can take their powers away, or get them under control in the end.

I agree with Daisuki, and plus taking their powers away would be sort of useless as well, cause I imagine it took a lot of work trying to get them their powers in the first place, trying to kidnap them, raise them up as assassins, that's a lot of wasted resources, and I don't see how taking their powers away can accomplish anything that killing them won't fix

Maybe we just bring them to some powerful man who would be able to control the rebel's powers? Like, what should the head of the government be?

President? Prime Minister? Dictator? Director?

Whoever he is, he could have the power to control powers? In any case, I'd imagine he'd be a character who is hardly in the story at all - a sort of behind-the-scenes character we can dance around and talk about but never really use (unless necessary...?)

Just another idea on the table.

I'm going to apologize beforehand for the double-post ^^;

For all the government characters,

I realize in a sense, we're painted as villains, but would it be alright to keep the morals ambiguous? I don't think my character - or any of the government characters for that matter, are bad people, or particularly misled (I mean they're not idiots, they have to have some sort of justification)- I think that there has to be some kind of motive for them and some kind of strong morality they follow in order to be doing what they're doing, ie if they're to be capturing children and "innocent" rebels - then these characters should be doing it because they think it's the right thing to do - not because they're particularly nasty human beings ^^;

It is fine if the rebels don't see them this way because that's how it usually plays out in history

So a perspective to look at (from the government's pov) ultimately, we're doing all this for the protection of our country. The ultimate evils are not our citizens but those from the two other countries who mean us harm. Our methods are cruel because we're desperate, but those with powers should then have the responsibility to use them for the country that has "graciously" given it to them. So it's vital that people conform for the "greater good" that is the protection of our weak friends and families who don't have powers. We're trying to maintain order and provide security and the rebels are just a bunch of chaotic ungratefuls running around using their powers irresponsibly without any sort of regulation At least, this is from the perspective of my character. I thought I'd share. Not for propaganda or anything.

Haha, I agree with Audy. Not all people on the "bad" side (and even the word bad can be debated) are horrible people. Maybe they needed the job to support their family, maybe they have a reason that we can't see.

And also, I very much like the name Versalista. I was also thinking something along the lines of Tymen or Tibel, but I'm not good at names like that

Kyaaaa I'm really excited about this. Dunno why. But I am. :3