Here's our discussion thread so we can discuss the plot and characters. I'll add some excerpts here (like parts of the backstory) I've written but don't fit in yet with the main timeline. Once I create the SB I'll post the link to that on here too.
Gabbie ran her hand through the short red wig. Central Park was just practice, but Gabbie rarely went anywhere without a wig and contacts. Zach sat on a bench and listened to his iPod while Gabrielle jogged around the track. As the business man next to Zach finished his lunch, Gabbie approached the bench during her jog. Pickpocketing is all about timing. Gabbie had to slow down near the bench right before the man got up. That way Zach could trip her into the man while he was not paying attention and Gabbie could lift his wallet. Gabrielle apologized and continued with her jog without missing a beat. As Gabbie approached a curve in the track, a boy was coming from the other direction. He had dark hair that drooped low over his light blue eyes and kicked at a stone on the path. He smiled when he saw Gabbie watching him. Gabrielle rolled her eyes, but smiled slightly. She tucked a red strand behind her ear. The boy kept watching Gabbie as she got closer and he moved toward the center of the track. Gabbie was spending too much time looking at his eyes and not enough time watching the path. What happened next was so fast that Gabrielle could not have anticipated it. Or so she tells herself. They barely bumped into each other. Gabrielle turned to look back when he passed, but did not stop jogging. She turned out of the park and onto the street. That was when she realized her pocket was just a little lighter. Gabbie stopped suddenly. The entire scene played again in her head. The way the boy had not looked back after bumping into her. The way his eyes paused just a little on the bulge in her jacket when he looked her up and down. Finally, the slight touch at the inside of her jacket when his hand slipped into her pocket. Gabrielle swore and slammed her fist into her thigh. Nathan had played her.
The way Nathan and Gabrielle met. Just wait until their second encounter. How mad do you think Gabbie will be?
Not yet. It's only a flashback so it needs to fit in later. I have all these ideas for flashbacks but none for the actual story! And the backstory isn't really in depth enough to make its own story.
Hmmm...Let's try it! A way we could introduce it is once Gabbie sees Nathan again, we can flip to Nathan's POV and develop that. Here's what I have as an idea to introduce Nathan:
Gabbie closed her eyes and leaned against the dock. The sun beat down on her face and Gabrielle could almost forget about the past year. She was fifteen again and her family was a little bit larger. Nathan was still with them. Gabbie sat up again and opened her eyes. She scanned the people in the park and saw the things only a thief would see. The man sitting on the bench had an expensive suit but cheap shoes. The woman dressed like a librarian had a Tiffany's box in her bag. When she pushed against a mob of people entering the park, the blue box disappeared. Gabbie looked at the different people in the crowd when a pair of icy blue eyes swept over her without a second glance. Gabbie ran her hand through the short red wig. Central Park was just practice, but Gabbie rarely went anywhere without a wig and contacts. Zach sat on a bench and listened to his iPod while Gabrielle jogged around the track. As the business man next to Zach finished his lunch, Gabbie approached the bench during her jog. Pickpocketing is all about timing. Gabbie had to slow down near the bench right before the man got up. That way Zach could trip her into the man while he was not paying attention and Gabbie could lift his wallet. Gabrielle apologized and continued with her jog without missing a beat. As Gabbie approached a curve in the track, a boy was coming from the other direction. He had dark hair that drooped low over his light blue eyes and kicked at a stone on the path. He smiled when he saw Gabbie watching him. Gabrielle rolled her eyes, but smiled slightly. She tucked a red strand behind her ear. The boy kept watching Gabbie as she got closer and he moved toward the center of the track. Gabbie was spending too much time looking at his eyes and not enough time watching the path. What happened next was so fast that Gabrielle could not have anticipated it. Or so she tells herself. They barely bumped into each other. Gabrielle turned to look back when he passed, but did not stop jogging. She turned out of the park and onto the street. That was when she realized her pocket was just a little lighter. Gabbie stopped suddenly. The entire scene played again in her head. The way the boy had not looked back after bumping into her. The way his eyes paused just a little on the bulge in her jacket when he looked her up and down. Finally, the slight touch at the inside of her jacket when his hand slipped into her pocket. Gabrielle swore and slammed her fist into her thigh. Nathan had played her.
I figure then you could have Gabrielle come talk to Nathan but be told from his point of view. Just an idea but whatever you want to do should be good.
I don't think so. Gabbie isn't abrupt--usually--though if you want you could have them like run into each other. Nathan might not recognize her at first because she does have a red wig and green contacts, but you could also talk about what Nathan has been doing over the past year. In Singapore--where the family did a job that went wrong--they were supposed to meet a hotel at a certain time. Nathan waited but no one showed up. Finally he went up to the front desk and asked for any messages, and there was an envelope left for him. Inside was a one-way plane ticket to Los Angeles and $500. He always assumed it was from James Monroe as a goodbye--like "Sorry, but you're out of the family." Really it was Gabrielle, but she's never told anyone her family she did that. I figure this flashback would be better from Nathan's point-of-view since Gabrielle wasn't even in Singapore at the time. I was thing that it won't be until later, though, that the reader will actually find out what happened in Singapore. It'll be mentioned but not in detail. Then maybe like the climax will be Gabbie's flashback to Singapore--or at least part of the rising action.
"Can we kill him?" Gabbie asked her dad as they watched the boy in Central Park. Nathan had come back to pickpocket businessmen again. "We can rent a boat and dump his body in the ocean. No one will ever find it." "It's unfortunate what you use that mind for," James Monroe said. Gabrielle shrugged. "At least break his knees." Gabbie pouted. Her dad ignored her and opened up the newspaper under his arm. With his nose in the pages he looked like the perfect mark. If Gabbie had not known who he was, she probably would have picked him too. Right on cue, Nathan came up with his arm swinging at his sides. Just as he bumped into Gabrielle's father, her dad dropped his newspaper and grabbed Nathan's elbow in a vice. Nathan turned and his eyes widened. Gabbie tried to hide a smile as she approached the two thieves. "Hi. I'm Gabrielle. The girl you stole from yesterday." Nathan narrowed his eyes. Gabbie had left her wig and contacts at home. Her curly brown hair swayed against her back and she looked a lot younger in jeans instead of a pantsuit. "Who are you?" she asked firmly. "Nathan," he said. Gabrielle put her hands on her hips and waited for more. "Well, I think you still have something that belongs to me," Gabrielle spat at him. "It doesn't belong to you. You stole it and I stole it, so now it belongs to me. There was only thirty bucks in it anyways." Nathan's eyes kept shifting between Gabrielle and her father who still had not said a word. "Besides, you can just steal another wallet." "That's not the point--" "What is the point, Gabrielle?" James Monroe asked. "The point is, you do not steal from fellow thieves." "Why not?" Nathan asked. "Who makes up these rules?" "The professionals," Gabbie replied with a smile. "Not some amateur kid who just wants extra money to go the movies." Gabrielle crossed her arms and turned to her father. "Why are we even bothering with this? Let's just kill him." "Gabrielle," James said firmly, "Would you please go back to the townhouse? I need to talk to Nathan for a minute." Gabbie's jaw dropped, but she turned on her heel and marched out of the park. She turned back and and saw Nathan flash her a smile before she hailed a cab.
Gabrielle paced in the living room of the townhouse for almost an hour before the door finally opened and two people came in. "No!" she shouted and came over to where Nathan was leaning against a coffee table. "Why is he here?!" "He's a good pickpocket," James said as if that explained letting a stranger into the family's home. Perhaps some people bring home strange boys who steal from members of the family all the time, but with thieves it was downright dangerous. Gabrielle shot daggers at Nathan but he just shrugged. "Mom!" Gabbie called and walked toward the back of the house. Her mother came out and did not even take a second glance at Nathan. "Did you know about this?" Gabbie asked. "Of course. Your father called me a few minutes ago. Oh come now, Gabrielle," Gabbie was giving her a mother a look like she had grown a second head. "It is not like he'll be living here." "She's just mad I was able to steal from her," Nathan mumbled. "I am not," Gabrielle said as she whipped around. "But if you were really a good thief you would know how dangerous it is to bring some strange boy into the family business." "I'm not that strange," Nathan replied with a smirk. "Ugh!" Gabrielle shouted and stomped out of the room.
So began the competition between Gabrielle and Nathan.
The two go together. In this family stealing ability is like good grades or doing your chores. So they compete to steal the best and hardest things and thus get favor from Gabbie's parents.
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