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Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:28 pm
Ego says...



First order of business...Welcome to the Treaty of Ten Systems.

Looks like we're under way nicely. For now, we'll be doing free posting--everyone get their characters aboard the ship and settled, at which point we'll start this thing up for real with the launch of the ship. For now, feel free to interact with one another, introduce each other, etc. As always, I encourage you to talk with each other to improve your posts and make your dialog realistic for your respective characters.

For example, Brad and I worked on his post last night by running through dialog. He wrote a post that had a conversation between our characters, then PMed it to me for approval--after all, you should never post an interaction between characters unless you're sure you're able to write them believably.

I changed some dialog and some mannerisms to match my character, sent it back to Brad, and now we have a well thought out post that has both characters interaction believably, with the proper responses from each.

The point of this is...communicate with your fellow authors. If you have an instant messenger, I encourage you to post your name here, so we can all keep in touch easily. In my experience, the more communication there is in a storybook, the better it will be.

A note on quality of posts-- So far, we're doing quite well. Watch your spelling and your punctuation, keep it nice and tidy. Sooner or later, though, someone's going to make a post that's sub-par. The second you see something like that, PM me about it, and tell me *why* you think it's sub-par. Don't be shy, for all the issues will be addressed by me personally. So if you have a problem with any post, let me know. If it's a problem with *quality* of post, that is. If it's a problem with character interaction, I encourage you to take it to the author and see if you can compromise about it. If that doesn't work, come to me.

Questions, comments and concerns should be posted here or PMed to me.

Enjoy posting, guys!

--Hunter
Got YWS? I do.

Lumi: Don't you drag my donobby into this.
Lumi: He's the sweetest angel this side of hades.
  





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Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:23 am
Griffinkeeper says...



There are some things worth considering when you write your posts.

Since the TSS Unity is a warship, it will not have "Attendants." Attendants might show up on a luxury ship, or even for the higher ranking brass (i.e. Admirals, Heads of State) but they would not attend to officers, much less enlisted marines. Their escorts would be Jr. navy personnel, who have been working on the ship.

Another thing worth noting:

There will be places on the ship which will be restricted areas. So don't have your character randomly wander into the Combat Information Center, or the Engine Room, you know, places where they might get in the way or killed.

Eventually, they will learn the lay out of the ship and how to go through each of these areas without getting themselves killed in the process. Most combat veterans will realize this and wait for a ship briefing, instead of wandering through a ship they've never been in before.

A note on Captains:

Aboard a ship, the commanding officer is the Captain. His job is to represent the Treaty Systems interests abroad. In order to do this, he must run a disciplined ship. If any person commits a crime, he would be the Judge. He can pass sentence aboard his ship, including (but rarely) the death penalty.

If a death penalty is given, it is probably because they killed a shipmate or because they sabotaged the ship. So what I'm saying is this: don't have your character do something that will result in his execution.
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Sun Jan 06, 2008 5:26 pm
deleted1 says...



Sure if its the 1700's. If a murder is committed the person is held until military trial. The captain no longer has such right to execute a person based on his own beliefs.

Slight note, Billy used wrong rank for Yuki. Minor change.

Question, all characters have their own rooms or not? Never answered :/
  





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Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:22 pm
Rydia says...



No, characters seem to be sharing rooms.
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Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:38 pm
Ego says...



Errant--this *is* an alternate reality, set in the future. This isn't modern day America.
Got YWS? I do.

Lumi: Don't you drag my donobby into this.
Lumi: He's the sweetest angel this side of hades.
  





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Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:40 am
Griffinkeeper says...



Some more stuff.

There are approximately twenty marines on board. Ten men per squad.
Marine Chain of Command

Officer
Maj. Aeolus Richtor
Lt. Egon Astral (Leader Squad 1)
Lt. Vidol Oratal (Leader Squad 2)
2nd Lt. Octavius Constantine Blake

Enlisted
GySgt Jeff Hammer
Cpl. Jason Roberts

If you're not sure where your character is on this thing, talk with Hunter.

There are still some things we need to work out.

Will the Major have a squad under his direct command?
Where will 2nd Lt. Octavius fit in?

So much for rank.

A note: it is impractical to have a ship-wide briefing held on the bridge. There is simply too many people and too much valuable stuff up on the bridge. If there is a briefing on the bridge, then it should be limited to officers.

Ship wide briefings would probably make use of PA systems or the holovids.

A third and final note. Each post should advance the plot in some way. Never end your post where another post ended. Instead, continue the post past the last post. So if the post before you ended with someone being called to a briefing, then your post should include the briefing.
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Tue Jan 08, 2008 5:41 am
Teague says...



Random note of (very) slight irritation: Can we capitalise Sorence, please? *glares at Dono* =P

And Reaky brought to my attention the fact that I completely forgot to mention that Sorences communicate telepathically. I added it to the full profile, but I figured I'd say something in case anyone was planning on involving a Sorence in a post.

Er, yeah. Totally my bad. ^^

-:pirate3:
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"Teague: Stomping on your dreams since 1992." -Sachiko
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Tue Jan 08, 2008 7:18 am
Ego says...



we don't capitalize human, now do we? ;)
Got YWS? I do.

Lumi: Don't you drag my donobby into this.
Lumi: He's the sweetest angel this side of hades.
  





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Tue Jan 08, 2008 7:51 am
Teague says...



But we capitalize Ganesh. *pokes* ;)
"2-4-6-8! I like to delegate!" -Meshugenah
"Teague: Stomping on your dreams since 1992." -Sachiko
"So I'm looking at FLT and am reminded of a sandwich." -Jabber
  





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Tue Jan 08, 2008 8:05 am
Ego says...



lol, point taken. My mistake.
Got YWS? I do.

Lumi: Don't you drag my donobby into this.
Lumi: He's the sweetest angel this side of hades.
  





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Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:18 am
Griffinkeeper says...



Let's move past the card game, it really isn't contributing much to the forward movement of the story.
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Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:14 am
Ego says...



As you all probably noticed, I've given up this storybook. Find a new leader.
Got YWS? I do.

Lumi: Don't you drag my donobby into this.
Lumi: He's the sweetest angel this side of hades.
  





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Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:39 pm
Rydia says...



You up for it, Griff?
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Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:21 am
Alteran says...



I'll do It. I am The captain after all.
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