It’s basically a phone but with a hologram thingy, about the size of a drink coaster. Also, I believe I mentioned Blaze’s holo-disk was custom, so it could probably have a tracker built into it.
The only thing I really have to say is that I want the rest of the pirates to go, then the police, then the other bounty hunter, and that all the pirates’ parts should either end with or incorporate a call from John to tie the story together.
Can I just say I very much enjoy the line "It's happened!" "You had another child?". I guess maybe I could go next. If I go next should Peter receive the call from John, and start heading out and getting his own family ready to go or something?
Hi, the name is Jasmine, but you can call me Jaz! Nice to meet you !
I’d be fine with you going next. I think it would be best to have the call come in at the middle or the end of the post, so we can get and idea of why he would agree to get back in.
Thanks for the compliment, by the way. I’m sure I stole that bit from somewhere but I can’t put my finger on where.
I have a question. What age should Lucky have had his first child at? I was thinking 28, or something, but I'm having trouble getting the time straight.
Hi, the name is Jasmine, but you can call me Jaz! Nice to meet you !
That’s up to you, I feel like 28 would probably be a bit young, since at that age he would probably be with ‘the Odin’ for the first time. I think it would be interesting to have the child be born sometime during lucky’s first time with the Odin.
Also, just tossing out ideas, since the child would be fully grown by the time of the story, maybe lucky could have to rejoin the Odin to help the child out.
Also also, just some clarification, the events of the storybook take place 40 years after the crew’s first spree as ‘the Odin’.
Mkay. Could I up my characters age to 50? Also, a robot appears in my writing, if that's fine, and I have this random name K-1991. Don't know whether I should change the name or anything.
Hi, the name is Jasmine, but you can call me Jaz! Nice to meet you !
Gender:
Points: 169
Reviews: 44