Young Writers Society

Thanks

Update

Okay, about one quarter done...to just about the point where Ruthie is going to run off. @TheMulticoloredCyr, hopefully Bati's actions are fine. And @IcyFlame, I just barely mentioned Oz 'cause Triana is still shocked about seeing her brother but hopefully what he did was okay too...aand Ruthie's single line...

Okay I wrote a couple more lines on how Triana would see Ruthie fall and Hermina laugh about it.

Now I need a bit of help...do you think the three of you...@soundofmind, @ScarlettFire and @LZPianoGirl...could leave like a couple of lines Ruthie, Hermina and Val would say in this part that comes next where Ruthie tried to run away, Val tripped him and Hermina's laughing about it.

Since this part is all about Triana and her shock at seeing Raidon collapse I think it would be very unlikely she hears their full conversation or even registers it in her head not to mention that funny dialogue would cheapen the whole moment so I think if you guys could post like a couple of lines that would happen in there...I can take some snippets that Triana will hear as she goes towards Raidon.

Pretty Please

Ah, sorry I haven't been so active here. I'll have to catch up and reread the previous posts once I'm out of school.

I think Hermina would be too busy laughing to really say anything, unless it's something along the lines of "You stupid/clumsy elf!"

@HarryHardy I wrote some silly dialogue in the pad for you to steal and use!! Hopefully that's enough for you to work with!

Thanks guys!!

That should be enough

Alrighty...I have gotten to the part where Triana also collapses and then wakes up...its around 920ish words now so I think @winterwolf0100, if you could please, go in there and write a few questions Raidon's likely to start asking and see if his line when Triana wakes up is in character...I can write up Triana's replies and end the post with Ruthie interrupting them.

Looks like winter replied in the wfp lol

Ha ya...okay I think I'm done...umm @winterwolf0100...if you could check if that looks okay...and @soundofmind,if you could check if that last line which is supposed to be by Ruthie is fine, I can post this.

@harryhardy I edited the line just a little but it looks good to go to me!

That looks great!

Thanks!! Aaaaaand I hath posted!!

FANTASTIC POST, HARRY!! YAYYY so happy this is still moving forward! Who wants to go next?

@LZPianoGirl? @TheMulticoloredCyr?

I'd be happy to go next! It may just take me a bit to review where our characters are.

Looks good Harry!