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Young Writers Society


Glory Online [DT]



What force is the most fearsome?

A sentient dragon and its brood
2
10%
An elemental titan and its followers
3
15%
A utilitarian militia rampaging for survival
2
10%
A genocidal bishop and his clergy & laymen
4
20%
The fact that all of these things are going to wreck us
9
45%
 
Total votes : 20


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Thu Dec 24, 2015 8:44 pm
StupidSoup says...



go ahead. Second part should be up by tonight
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You gotta have the confidence of a gazelle running through a herd of lions - TK Sharp


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Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:59 pm
BrumalHunter says...



I have added some dialogue for the Artoma, so just reread the battle scene, @15253. You can then add lore concerning the Cataclysm as you see fit, though don't be too detailed.
But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
— Paul the Apostle

Winter is inevitable. Spring will return eventually, and AstralHunter with it.
  





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Fri Dec 25, 2015 1:26 am
StupidSoup says...



huh. I cant seem to find the dialogue.

EDIT: I'm an idiot. I accidently reloaded the page and lost all of my progress O_O
Please excuse me while I cry in a corner.

I AM SORRY ;-;
I have a license that lets me solve aids - A friend of mine


Here Comes the Birdyyyy ~Poopsie


You gotta have the confidence of a gazelle running through a herd of lions - TK Sharp


I was once Numbers

Now I am Soup
  





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Fri Dec 25, 2015 11:29 pm
BrumalHunter says...



I know that feeling all too well, @15253...

@Lumi, my addition to the Calamity only manifested as a few lines from the Artoma. Is that enough for our present state, or should I write more?
But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
— Paul the Apostle

Winter is inevitable. Spring will return eventually, and AstralHunter with it.
  





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Sat Dec 26, 2015 10:25 am
Lumi says...



@15253 --> There's no rush. Two weeks is the retainer bracket for post time, but if you've made progress, the time is extended until you finish. Also, do a few sweeps for grammar and syntax. I'm a picky boss.

@AstralHunter --> Can you quote the lines of dialogue here? Going back to that post is a daunting task. But I'm sure you pass.
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Sat Dec 26, 2015 11:08 pm
BrumalHunter says...



@Lumi, of course! Here they are:

Quinlan descended upon the Paladin with tooth and claw, but was forced to take flight again when a mace struck him in the face.

"Begone, uncivilised warmongers!" the Paladin called at the retreating pair. "As savages, you attacked without just cause, but as cowards, you will flee in disgrace!"

Fallyn ignored the AI's taunt (though she was grateful for fresh dialogue) and instead scanned the ground. "Where is the Gnasher n-Argh!"


"We have suffered abuse from worse hands than yours!" the Artoma Paladin jeered. "Our resolve will not waver!"


Revan broke off from shooting at the Gnasher and turned his arrows upon the Commander. Quinlan joined in and flapped his wings, staggering the Commander as well. The sudden addition of attacks took him by surprise and finally broke his resolve. Panic was evident in his eyes.

"We did not endure decades of misery and survive the horrors of the Calamity simply to be slaughtered in a strange land by barbarians! No, we have suffered too much to be thwarted so close to the end!"


"And we outnumbered the Artoma," Revan added, equally exhausted. "The taunts were weird, though. They sounded like fanatic martyrs."

"Whatever their motives, they are to be engaged with caution. For now, I think we can rest for five minutes," Fallyn suggested.


That's all I added, but I could include a conversation of taunts between an Artoma and one of the Guild Members, if you think I should.
But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
— Paul the Apostle

Winter is inevitable. Spring will return eventually, and AstralHunter with it.
  





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Sat Dec 26, 2015 11:32 pm
Lumi says...



Nah, man. Those are perfect. Right on the line between tragic dialogue and practical NPC combat phrases.

I imagine the sentient bosses may speak a bit more, though. So the rest of you: keep that in mind. Don't overkill it, though. We don't want to have them questioning everything until we fight Fedya and actually get placed in the Calamitous Artoma.

As a side-note, what color should the water be on that planet? I'm thinking red or purple. And what about the sky? Maybe it changes depending on the prominent element in the realm--say green clouds for a wind-aspected overlord, etc.

I'm starting to get excited for this again...though I think I'll probably be zooming into the progression of the fantasy story itself instead of the people playing the characters. After all, that meta-story would lead to some weird breaks. But we can still incorporate the meta-story. I'll just work on proportions and let you know what I feel.
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Sat Jan 02, 2016 1:37 pm
BrumalHunter says...



I despise it when a notification gets lost in all the activity... Sorry for only responding now.

Anyway, I'm glad that I got to go first, since now I don't have to worry about the future bosses or their dialogue. That new poll is dreadfully terrifying, though, so that certainly causes concern.

@15253, I just read your post and corrected Fallyn's malapropisms ;P, and it was quite intense. I look forward to the boss battle. (The dialogue, though... XD)
But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
— Paul the Apostle

Winter is inevitable. Spring will return eventually, and AstralHunter with it.
  





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Tue Jan 05, 2016 6:06 am
StupidSoup says...



._.

Oh

My

God
I have a license that lets me solve aids - A friend of mine


Here Comes the Birdyyyy ~Poopsie


You gotta have the confidence of a gazelle running through a herd of lions - TK Sharp


I was once Numbers

Now I am Soup
  





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Sun Jan 10, 2016 5:28 am
Lumi says...



WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

EVERYONE RESPOND IN CAPS.
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





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Sun Jan 10, 2016 5:40 am
Sassafras says...



We're waiting on 15 for a post. But other than that, I'm not entirely sure.
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Sun Jan 10, 2016 7:04 am
Poopsie says...



HE WONT STOP PLAYING HIS UKELELE. KILL ME NOW
The Poopsiest.

JOIN THE RABBIT SQUAD TODAY


:smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003 :smt003

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Sun Jan 10, 2016 12:21 pm
BrumalHunter says...



We can't kill you yet, Pidgeon - we still have to be teleported to Artomb and find our way back to... well, wherever Facepalm is located.

12/16
But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
— Paul the Apostle

Winter is inevitable. Spring will return eventually, and AstralHunter with it.
  





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Sun Jan 10, 2016 5:50 pm
Lumi says...



THE ENTIRETY OF THE STORY TAKES PLACE IN ARTOMA SO I APOLOGIZE IF ANYONE GOT ATTACHED TO THE LORE BEHIND GALARI. WE'LL COME BACK EVENTUALLY BUT IT WON'T BE CASUAL.

IF I DON'T GET A POST FROM ONE OF YOU IN THE NEXT TWO DAYS I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING DRASTIC.
I am a forest fire and an ocean, and I will burn you just as much
as I will drown everything you have inside.
-Shinji Moon


I am the property of Rydia, please return me to her ship.
  





User avatar
293 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 17344
Reviews: 293
Sun Jan 10, 2016 6:16 pm
BrumalHunter says...



@15253, you must post, otherwise Lumi will do something drastic!

13/16
But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
— Paul the Apostle

Winter is inevitable. Spring will return eventually, and AstralHunter with it.
  








We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.
— Ernest Hemingway