City of Brass DT

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Gender:

Points: 17265
Reviews: 107

Wed Oct 08, 2014 10:20 am

Alpha says...

*points gun*

Gender:

Points: 30323
Reviews: 289

Sun Oct 12, 2014 12:46 pm

View Likes

Caesar says...

episode 2 rotation also here for convenience

1 @MarbleToast
2 @BiscuitsBatchAvoy
3 @Alpha
4 @EscaSkye
5 @Judas

vulgus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur

the loubook

Gender:

Points: 1396
Reviews: 16

Mon Oct 13, 2014 9:02 pm

MarbleToast says...

@BiscuitsBatchAvoy , the stage is yours.

Dreams sprout tall so beautiful
to wither and fall off
Old and dusty, creaky and rough
This clockwork will not rest

Gender:

Points: 31396
Reviews: 760

Mon Oct 13, 2014 9:43 pm

ExOmelas says...

Thanks, Marble. I think I'm about 2/3 of the way through but I'm thinking about including some from Centra's POV since Avalon is still out of action. Let me know if you would like to work together on that. If not I'll just keep going.

What fools these mortals be!
William Shakespeare
A Midsummer Night's Dream

Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do.
Linkin Park
One More Light

I'm bigger than a hexidecimal...

Gender:

Points: 1396
Reviews: 16

Tue Oct 14, 2014 9:35 pm

View Likes

MarbleToast says...

Can I just say I really liked your chapter/installment a lot? It was really good.

Dreams sprout tall so beautiful
to wither and fall off
Old and dusty, creaky and rough
This clockwork will not rest

Gender:

Points: 31396
Reviews: 760

Tue Oct 14, 2014 10:10 pm

ExOmelas says...

Thank you! I was worried there wasn't enough progress so this is great to hear.

I really like the nut and bolt screw thing you gave Alex. In fact I was going to put it in my post as well but I totally forgot. *facepalm*

What fools these mortals be!
William Shakespeare
A Midsummer Night's Dream

Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do.
Linkin Park
One More Light

I'm bigger than a hexidecimal...

Gender:

Points: 30323
Reviews: 289

Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:54 pm

View Likes

Caesar says...

Merc remains deliciously aloof.
Good post, Biscuits.

You're all making great progress :')

vulgus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur

the loubook

Gender:

Points: 17265
Reviews: 107

Wed Oct 15, 2014 1:53 pm

Alpha says...

:')

Ehem so. I showed and idea to @Judas and he suggested I shared it with you guys.

so I have this idea, either the thief has one partner or two. Kiara will have to have someone else take her place in the bar, and a girl who happens to overhear that offers to take her place--

1. maybe that Pigeon person is the brass crown's accomplice (hereafter known as BC) and she was doing some spy work to see if anyone is on their track BUT maybe Marble has other plans for Pigeon so..

2. Pigeon and BC have a third partner in crime who does the above, maybe s/h/they happen to befriend Kiara before that
I'm also thinking maybe Kiara would suspect something and tell Servio (because that offer to cover for her was *too* convenient) but then Pigeon/whoever fakes their death to make the others think that BC is on their trail or something

So, what do you guys think? Especially you, @MarbleToast, since you might have other things in store for Pigeon..

Gender:

Points: 6057
Reviews: 83

Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:07 pm

EscaSkye says...

Mm, not bad. It may have some more awesome twists and what not later on.

Not anymore.

Gender:

Points: 17265
Reviews: 107

Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:16 pm

Alpha says...

hmmmmmmmmmmm, maybe there could be one person in each factory, and a third one on the lookout for people who might be out for them? if the BC wants a regular supply of the brass s/he needs to make his devices, BC's better off convincing someone else (who works in the other factory) to also help BC out with brass-making/stealing (causing restlessness in both factories, which increases the fear of them twofold-- which should do nice things to their ego)

But maybe both teams is ignorant about (a) partner(s)? They're out thinking they're after just one person. What do you guys think?

Gender:

Points: 1396
Reviews: 16

Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:58 pm

View Likes

MarbleToast says...

About Pigeon, she was meant to be some form of old friend, but that was a long time ago (stopped talking due to something like stealing/crime). It's very likely that she's in the picture for this. I think the idea of her being the 'lookout' accomplice for the BC is probably the best. Perhaps Pigeon could be the aforementioned 'convenient waitress' ? And maybe she could be a clue to the BC's whereabouts?

Last edited by MarbleToast on Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dreams sprout tall so beautiful
to wither and fall off
Old and dusty, creaky and rough
This clockwork will not rest

Gender:

Points: 30323
Reviews: 289

Wed Oct 15, 2014 3:02 pm

Caesar says...

^yes good plotting is good

vulgus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur

the loubook

Gender:

Points: 1396
Reviews: 16

Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:41 pm

MarbleToast says...

Got any ideas, Judas?

Dreams sprout tall so beautiful
to wither and fall off
Old and dusty, creaky and rough
This clockwork will not rest

Gender:

Points: 30323
Reviews: 289

Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:59 pm

View Likes

Caesar says...

me? ideas? who do you think I am, the gm?

at an rate, I think Asia might not let Kiara out on a mission easily, especially considering the mess she got herself into. Thusly, she'd have to sneak out -- maybe this Pigeon works late night shifts at the Tower or something, and 'helps her' sneak out, only to tip off guards or something

vulgus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur

the loubook

Gender:

Points: 17265
Reviews: 107

Thu Oct 16, 2014 10:45 am

Alpha says...

-gets writing-

(if Pigeon works night shifts in the tower, Merc would have seen her though O: unless she colored her hair and gotten a tan or something, hmmm)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Young Writers Society

City of Brass DT

Sponsors

About / Info

Forums & RPG

Literary

Resources