Young Writers Society

He walked away as she stood there with her pride in the last few drops in the bottle. Her darkest fear was happening right in front of her. Her only love had turned his back on her, and said he had enough.
Enough.

The word tainted every thought that she could fathom in her drunken state. She used to be enough, but now she wasn't. She hoped blinking repeatedly would help her clarify the moment, but all she could see was the back of his jacket. The familiar shape of his shoulders made her hands ache to touch him.

All those nights they had spent together on the single mattress on his bedroom floor. The way he melted between her thighs made her nails explore his skin and her hands take shape of his shoulders and neck. At the final point of her ecstasy she would attempt to pin herself down with the bedsheets. Her attempts would show to be powerless against the pleasure he gave her.

Now the only thing under her hands was the cold January air and an empty cheap liquor bottle. She had to do something, she couldn't let him go. She was nothing without him, and she knew that the feeling in her heart would killer faster than anything else. She could already feel the pain cool her blood and constrict her ability to breathe.

Breathe.

Watching him under the orange lights of the parking garage made breathing unreasonable. She had sworn to herself when they first met that she wouldn't let his affection penetrate her skin. Promises were made a year ago, and now those promises faded with the breaths he took away. She thought that maybe if she had just stopped breathing this moment would be more bearable, but her body forced her to inhale the unspoken goodbye that he had left behind.

She knew that she had one last chance to at least make him turn around. Though seeing his face would make the premature tears break through. His eyes would be filled with disappointment, and she knew that she was the reason his head hung low. It was worth it, she had to try.

“Stay!”

She yelled out letting the volume and desperation in her voice humiliate her. He stopped and she grew hopeful. He turned his head halfway, but didn't bother to fully turn around and see the pathetic sight he had left behind. He kept walking and she took in a deep breath to try and hold back the tears. He turned the corner, and was gone.

The crash of the glass bottle didn't seem to make a sound over her loud and drunken sobs. Her cheeks stung as she tried to wipe away the cascade of tears to preserve her last drop of pride. It was no use fighting the pain as it had frozen her entire body. Her skin felt cold from the inside out, and for a moment she believed that she was dead.

She stood there alone in the empty garage with broken glass at her feet. She turned around letting the shards of class poke through her shoes and scrape across the concrete. She walked towards her car and wondered if he had felt the same way she does now when he had turned around. Every step was heavy like she was walking in water.

Sitting in her car she stared through the windshield and watched the bright street lights soak up the last bit of energy she had left. The taste of tears had replaced the taste of his name that used to rest on her lips. She fumbled to push her keys into the ignition and clumsily put the car into gear. Her vision wasn't clear as she peered over the dashboard. She was almost completely numb, all that was left was her finger tips that barely touched the steering wheel.

She felt like she was floating, and that the wheels weren't even rolling. She attempted to stay inside the lines of the road, but her willpower was limited. She knew not of where the car would take her, she just wanted to get away. To get away from the mess that she already was.

He had yelled at her and told her to quit, but she refused. She knew her habits were unnecessary and would ruin who she was. Her selfishness led her to continue to anticipate every drop that bottle had to offer. She let go of the wheel.

She had given up.

It felt good to rest her head back and watch the headlights swerve into a different direction. She saw the tree where she was headed towards and waited for it to decide if it would take her tonight. Glass crashed around her like rain. She heard her bones crack and her blood escape. She felt no pain in her body, except for one part.

The heart has a wicked way of leaving one thing out during the numbing process: itself. Each pump stung as she knew that nothing would ever be the same. She didn't want the life she had, but the one she used to. The life where he was there holding her hand. Now, there was nothing left to hold onto. She heard the sirens ring and she knew she didn't have much time left to die. She pulled what body parts she could into herself and rested her head on the driver side door. She closed her eyes and took in one last breath. Now, she knew why it was so easy for him to walk away.

When you don't feel anything,
there's no reason to hold onto it anymore.