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Chandler Alex Thomas



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Gender: None specified
Points: 1040
Reviews: 6
Thu Jun 09, 2011 8:43 pm
BeckeeRenae says...



They say you never really know someone until it’s too late.

But I know you.

You wanted everything unobtainable and were content with nothing less. “What’s the use of trying, if you never feel like flying?” You told me.

What’s the use?

You lived in a world separate from ours, a world where everyone was loved and no one ever cried. A universe in which everything was beautiful and nothing was broken. I was wrecked from the time we met, in a manner so unfateful yet so predestined. You mended me back with your smile and smoothed my cracks with your touch.

I memorized everything about you and constantly drew the pictures in my mind: the tops of your cheekbones that used to turn bright red when you were ecstatic and your eyes that drew moonbeams when you laughed.

When you hugged me, you smelled of old wood and mint. Sometimes, when you held me, you swept me off my feet, lifting the small of my back with your hand. Your arms always tightened around my rib cage when I cried. Your muscles have been woven into me like secrets into a pillow; I can still feel your deep blue veins, rough against my fingertips. The square of your jaw that was always so prominent, so strong, so defensive, and so beautiful. You were beautiful.

Your shoulders hold my tears, your mouth my laughter, your hands my vulnerability, and your soul my adoration.

One day we started to imagine that love was all that mattered and that distance didn’t exist.

But I’m standing here now and I won’t pretend I’m not weeping. The podium smells of wood that doesn’t do you justice, the songs are melancholy and dull, and the black is an ominous sea of nothing good to come. A piece of me will always remain with you wherever you are. Carry my heart into the ground and I’ll kiss yours; someday we’ll be reunited, in the sky and in a place where everything really is beautiful and nothing is broken.

I wouldn’t trade the past two and half years for all the ones I have to come. Because with you, everything was beautiful and nothing was broken.

The worms will eat your body and the smile I once loved will decay and disappear like all things do with time. The flowers will rot and the stone will chip. I’ve not the slightest idea of the realities of heaven but wait for me there will you? Dance with the angels, laugh with our Lord, and fill yourself with the joy I only seemed able to obtain when I was with you.

You may not ever hear these words or all the others I should have said,

But I love you Chandler Alex Thomas.

And I hope you can hear that.




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140 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 6338
Reviews: 140
Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:35 pm
XxMattxX says...



Hello, I'm Jojo and I shall be your reviewer today!
Now this is short and sweet, and so shall be that of my review.

We ride, Hahaha!
*gallops*
-------------
Wow.. this is deep.
I usually hate romance (and anything to do with it) with a boiling, festering, oozing, sizzling, burning passion, but this is deep. I think you did a great job!
And for that, you have earned yourself a "like".

Only "nit-pick" - ( Gosh, I really hate that word.)
You may not ever hear these words or all the others I should have said,

But I love you Chandler Alex Thomas.

And I hope you can hear that.


All of that leads me to believe that this whole passage would serve better as a letter to him, or something that you character has laid on his grave at his funeral ( which, if I am ready correctly, she is attending..).
It has all of the assets of a letter.
-
Salutation (sort of)

Body

Closing
-
So yeah, I would suggest that you italicize everything and make this into a love/loved letter. It adds a whole lot to this.
Makes it more "lovey-dovey".

Other than that, Good Job!!!
Keep writing!
------------------
-Jojo
Solvalery/GeeLyria Fans
Link




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15 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 1075
Reviews: 15
Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:51 am
Wolfdra says...



I really loved this piece, so I thought I'd give you a review!

---

Everything in the piece was really good, very emotional without being overly so. You could really understand her [or his] feelings for Chandler and you conveyed it in such a way you could tell just how heartbroken the speaker was. I also liked how you brought in the part of how the body would decay as time passed. I thought it was an interesting choice, but I just wonder if she [or he] would actually be thinking about it, since the man that they loved passed away. Of course, grief can have people do and think strange things.

Like Jojo, I usually hate romances, but this was different. It had intensity from how the speaker compared how she/he felt with Chandler and without him, and how she/he is after his death. Instead of a letter, though, I viewed it more of a speech, like a eulogy since there is the mention [or should I say hints] of being at a funeral for Chandler. There is just one thing that I would change, though.

Your shoulders hold my tears, your mouth my laughter, your hands my vulnerability, and your soul my adoration.


It feels like it should be past tense, as the speaker is remembering and talking about Chandler in past tense. Other than that though, I wouldn't change a thing about this. You should feel proud about it. I'm not sure if you normally write romance or not, but this is one of the few that I really like, good job.

-

Wolfdra
"'Death happens,' as we like to say. 'And when I get paid for it, death happens more often.'"

"La shai'a waqi'on motlaq bal kollon momken."

"We are all books containing thousands of pages and within each of them lies an irreparable truth."

Rest in peace, Harry. <3




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11 Reviews


Gender: None specified
Points: 1325
Reviews: 11
Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:17 pm
SunnyHeart27 says...



Damn, your story made me cry on my laptop. Whoops. :P Seriously though, I have never been moved by a story to this extent before, and I'd like to thank you for that before I review.

This was a really intriguing piece. You kept me interested in it the entire time, I wanted to know more about the characters and their love. (Actually, any chance of this? Will you write more on the romance that preceded this tragedy? Please? xD) The expression of the protagonist's feelings was beyond brilliant. You expressed eloquently and precisely how love feels, I found myself agreeing all the time ^^ Your use of language was, again, fantastic. Words were used when necessary, never out of place or jarring, always expressing something crucial to the plot. In a piece like this, it may have been easy to go off-point, which you didn't, well done.

In general, your piece is the best piece of emotive fiction I've read in quite a while. Please write more like this <3







See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask for no guarantees, ask for no security.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451