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Young Writers Society


This is how you start a poem



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Mon Apr 24, 2023 7:29 am
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Rook says...



26

Review of an Evening Concert
Location: Conveniently local! I walked out my back door
and there it was.

Atmosphere of the venue: Breezy & refreshing.
It wasn’t crowded at all

Refreshments: Delightful! Fresh-picked raspberries,
and someone even brought me an iced drink.

Performance: The maestro had a beautiful,
glossy tailcoat. The starling’s unique song blended
with the cries of the magpies. The rustle of leaves
and the wind through the grass was a constant wonder.
The percussive beats of a distant woodpecker
kept time admirably.

Overall: A full five stars.
I think I’ll attend again tomorrow night.
Instead, he said, Brother! I know your hunger.
To this, the Wolf answered, Lo!

-Elena Passarello, Animals Strike Curious Poses
  





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Mon Apr 24, 2023 7:29 am
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Rook says...



27

A Review of the Moon as Seen from the Window in the Silence of 3 AM in April

10/10 – No notes.
Instead, he said, Brother! I know your hunger.
To this, the Wolf answered, Lo!

-Elena Passarello, Animals Strike Curious Poses
  





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Wed Apr 26, 2023 3:52 am
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Rook says...



28
In an Orchard I Don't Remember

[using this for submissions!]
Instead, he said, Brother! I know your hunger.
To this, the Wolf answered, Lo!

-Elena Passarello, Animals Strike Curious Poses
  





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Wed Apr 26, 2023 4:51 am
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Rook says...



29
Rook

I’m hiccupping as I write this poem.
Yesterday I stayed up past 6 am.
I’ve crushed yew berries in my hand
and slid their pointed seeds between my fingers.
A few years ago I decided my name was Rook
because I like birds, and to a lesser extent, crime,
but everyone just assumes that I really love chess.

I will tell you to love yourself and I
will share my extra scones with anyone around:
please take them, they are gingerbread
with lemon icing, but I added too much water
to the icing so it’s kind of subtle and has mostly
soaked into the bottom of the scone because it pooled
on the parchment paper after dripping off.

When I look in the mirror I see angels
that are so bright I can’t fix my hair.
They have bleeding chests and wings
like harp strings and they’re metaphors
but sometimes I can feel them anyway.
I’ve hung a thousand windows on my wall
and every day wish I could dive through them
into a world of technicolor acrylic. Listen to my
buzz of dragonflies and the scent of industrial-grade glue,
I wish you could see me; I wish I could see you.
Instead, he said, Brother! I know your hunger.
To this, the Wolf answered, Lo!

-Elena Passarello, Animals Strike Curious Poses
  





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Wed Apr 26, 2023 6:18 am
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Spearmint says...



Spoiler! :
I love the uniqueness of all your poems, Rook! ^-^ Your "Review of an Evening Concert" is a wonderful twist on the review format, with the categories containing your thoughts on your backyard (I think it's your backyard? Or maybe you have a wood or something right behind your home or something? That'd be cool. >.>) And then "A Review of the Moon as Seen from the Window in the Silence of 3 AM in April"-- the way the title is so specific and longer than the poem, and the poem just emphasizes the perfection of the moment is amazing. Love the way you incorporated the different definitions of "rook" into "Rook" as well. Great work so far this NaPo!! <3
mint, she/her


.--. / ... ...- -.-. .-.. / - .--. ..- .- / .--- --- ...- .--- / .--- --- .--. .-- / .--. .--- .-.. / .--- -.-- .-.. .... -
=D
  





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Thu Apr 27, 2023 8:55 am
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Rook says...



30
Star Moss

[I'm using this for submissions!]
Instead, he said, Brother! I know your hunger.
To this, the Wolf answered, Lo!

-Elena Passarello, Animals Strike Curious Poses
  





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Fri Apr 28, 2023 9:00 am
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Rook says...



31
Index

(spoiled for language)
Spoiler! :

Screenshot 2023-04-28 014855.png

(you may need to click to embiggen)
Instead, he said, Brother! I know your hunger.
To this, the Wolf answered, Lo!

-Elena Passarello, Animals Strike Curious Poses
  





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Fri Apr 28, 2023 9:49 am
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Liminality says...



Spoiler! :
>In an Orchard I Don't Remember

I thought the sense of touch stood out in this poem -- the "shape" and the "apple", as well as the images of fingertips in the first few lines come across as very tactile. I liked the repetition in the third stanza and how it moves the imagery to different body parts and places in the scene.

>Rook

This one was interesting to read! My favourite lines were:

A few years ago I decided my name was Rook
because I like birds, and to a lesser extent, crime,
but everyone just assumes that I really love chess.


I'm not sure what the allusion is with Rook/crime but I thought these lines have a strong sense of personality to them, with the conversational tone.

>Star Moss

I thought the absence of punctuation worked really well with this poem. It feels like these are the speaker's thoughts running together, and there seems to be this big emotion swelling up behind them, which is highlighted by the last line "my shaking hand". The rejection of the "stars in the sky" for stars "on a rock" is also witty and interesting.

Am a big fan of your NaPo poems in general!
she/her

.
Have you met my friend, The Story Review Template?
  





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Sat Apr 29, 2023 5:58 am
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Rook says...



32
Breakfast

It’s like a diary entry. It tells you about a person.
There are people who wake up just to drink something bitter,
like black coffee, unsweetened tea, or orange juice,
like they want to shock themselves awake or punish
the little sleepy beast inside that begs for five more minutes.
They will never admit this.

My sleepy beast is like a clumsy child and I love it.
When it’s piloting me in the morning, it wants nothing more
than to crawl back under the warm, soft safety of the covers.
It prizes a few more minutes of sleep higher than anything else.
It is adorable to me, despite its inconveniences, so I make a devious plan
to coax it into evolving into a more wakeful, logical state.
The promise of a tasty breakfast. Something yummy and warm.
Something comfortable and easy enough
that the beast can make it on autopilot.

Bagels. A toasted bagel with cream cheese and cold milk.
Unlike cereal, oatmeal, eggs, or a dozen other breakfasts,
I never get sick of it. It whispers to me, “Come, eat of the grain
of the field. Delight in the fresh milk and the soft spread of
cream cheese. Isn’t it familiar? Isn’t it sweet and lovely?
Doesn’t it fill up a bagel-sized hole in your belly?
Aren’t you ready now to start the day?”
Instead, he said, Brother! I know your hunger.
To this, the Wolf answered, Lo!

-Elena Passarello, Animals Strike Curious Poses
  





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Mon May 01, 2023 3:49 am
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Rook says...



33
End

Here I write my little poems
as the sun drains from the room
once more. The end of the day,
the end of the month, the end
of an era, are as quiet as each other.
You hardly notice as the sun shifts
until, all too suddenly, you realize
it's dark, May, and you are no longer
the same.
Instead, he said, Brother! I know your hunger.
To this, the Wolf answered, Lo!

-Elena Passarello, Animals Strike Curious Poses
  





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Mon May 01, 2023 9:24 am
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alliyah says...



Spoiler! :
Hey friend! Congratulations on completing and surpassing NaPo!

Some of my favorites from your last set:

the chicken poem - for obvious reasons.

the abecedarian blackout poem!

And "You"!! - really loved this one, and have wondered this about my own poetry on occasion too!

You have such rich variety in here from form, to imagery, to theme and everything in between.

I also like poem 33 as your ending, it feels like such a thoughtful conclusion, and the metaphor of the close of the month / close of NaPo to "the sun draining from the room" is also a good one! <3

Enjoyed following along with your poetry this month!
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  








“Writing fiction is the act of weaving a series of lies to arrive at a greater truth.”
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