Young Writers Society

1. "Dive"

I've stared into a pool of water for hours,
Wavering images like mirages in the heat, feeling like
Narcissus pulled inside out, searching the reflection of the
Trees and sky and the whole world above,
Folding in,
Folding over,
Diving down into the water,
The back of the teeth of Gaia like I’m
Watching out of her mouth, or maybe just tying her tongue,
And I’m so close to the water, I feel like I could
Fold in,
Fold over,
Dive down into the water,
But I know it’ll only make ripples,
A distortion,
A shattering.

But I stay this close anyway,
A breath away from undoing,
A daffodil waiting in the breeze,
Wanting to stare,
Wanting to watch,
Wanting to see that other world,
Twisted inside out,
Or maybe outside in,
Right side out,
The gravity to my Upside Down,
And I stare into the water,
And I watch silently for hours,

And I wait.

And I wait.

And I wait.

Looking for distance.
Looking for connection.
Looking for Other—

And maybe in the Other,
I will find myself.

2. "Dear Diary"

A rainbow arches across a sky full of unicorns prancing,
And running through green grass, little girls in pink dancing,
And under towers and blonde hair, handsome princes romancing,
And the alienation, self-hatred: enhancing, advancing
Because never in my life has a lie so entranced me.

3. "A Pantoum and A Grave"

Ivory keys echoing a beautiful soul song in an abandoned house,
And like a lullaby, or maybe a funeral procession,
A little boy is lulled to sleep on
A faded couch he doesn’t know near a rotted staircase he won’t climb

And like a lullaby, or maybe a funeral procession,
The boy moves, quiet and hesitant, through the living room past
A faded couch he doesn’t know near a rotted staircase he won’t climb,
Tempting like sticky honey in the summer, with just as much sweetness

The boy moves, quiet and hesitant, through the living room past
Dusty artwork and old jewels, abandoned to the heat and old memories
Tempting like sticky honey in the summer, with just as much sweetness
Like a ghost comforted by a a long-discarded piano and a reserved little boy, or

Dusty artwork and old jewels, abandoned to the heat and old memories
With a story that cannot be told,
Like a ghost comforted by a long-discarded piano and a reserved little boy, or
A small patch of pure green grass with a worn cross marker at its head.

With a story that cannot be told,
A little boy is lulled to sleep on
A small patch of pure green grass with a worn cross marker at its head,
Ivory keys echoing a beautiful soul song in an abandoned house.

4. "Dreams"
(TW: implied SA/p*dophelia)

5. "Doubts of a Daffodil"

He was quiet,
And he liked to pass the time
Staring out the window
And watching the birds—

Watch them fly, watch them fly, watch them fly.

I’m leaned over my own reflection,
Hoping somehow I’ll see you in there,
And instead I see him,
And for a moment, I feel it—

The wind under my wings,
The burdens left behind,
Heading south for the winter,
The calling of my home.

And maybe he thought that I was a bird,
And he wished to be like me;
Maybe he stayed up at night crying
That he would never get to fly like this.

But in the midst of all his sadness,
The little boy was too busy staring outside
To see his reflection in the window.

And the penguin would stay grounded,
Thinking of how he could never take off into flight,
Never once thinking that maybe he could

Swim.

6. "Iridescent"

I watch the little girl
From behind the countertop;
She has visited me often—
She likes my small dress shop.

She stares at them with wonder,
And runs her hands over the silk,
Pauses and waits by the magentas
While her mom looks through the cream and milk.

She giggles at the sequin
And tries on a mermaid gown,
Green-blue fabric so sweeping
That it drags along the ground.

Her mother stops and chides her,
Tells her it isn’t quite her size,
Because the little girl is six,
And it’s a bit too long lengthwise.

The mother tells me they’re just browsing,
And she couldn’t afford one of these,
So I tell her I understand,
And she’s no need to appease.

And the little girl’s face falls,
Every time they have to leave;
She runs her hands along the dresses,
Holds hands with every sleeve.

But I realize, as I’m thinking,
It’s been a while since they came,
And maybe it’s a lack of time
Or money or inward shame—

But I miss the little girl,
And the way she beamed and waved,
Because I’ll never get to show her
The mermaid gown for her I saved.

7. “Shadow”

He stood at windows and said, "I believe" in hopes he’d be taken away.

8. "Beast"

Metal dripped down her eyelids,
Popped and sizzled on bare skin,
And she knew she was burning
But she was beautiful—
She was worthy

And when they saw her, they didn’t say,
“Isn’t that too hot?”
“There’s smoke everywhere!”
They just looked at her eyes,
And they watched her turn blind,
And they smiled,
And they clapped,

And as grass grew on their faces,
Ashes powdered her nose,
Brought fire to her cheeks,
Drew color from her eyes

And she beamed and basked and burned
As the droplets traced her face,
And she felt comfort in the fact
That no matter how many tears she shed,

They only made the gold shine brighter.

9. “Flutter”

He wobbled back and forth,
And the boy on the bed, shy and nervous,
Laughed as he watched him strut—

He had put them on as a joke, an insult,
Like wearing makeup had a punchline,
Like wearing heels had a high kick.

And the boy on the bed prayed
His laugh didn’t sound strained,
Didn’t give him away,

But the other boy didn’t seem to notice.
They’re always so oblivious.

And when it was finally his turn,
He streaked his eyeliner on carelessly,
Piled the blush on crimson, and
He rose, slipped the heels on,
Walked himself across the room.
He forced himself to stumble,
Had to exaggerate the tightrope,

And his heart hammered until finally,
He could hear the approval,
The laughter and the teasing—
“You’re terrible! You’re just terrible!”

And both boys were on the edge of tears,
But neither of them shed any,
Because it wasn’t too funny—
Because he didn’t want his mascara to run.

And at the end of the night,
As he stood looking in the mirror,
He wiped off the amateur squiggles,
Put away his “sister’s” shoes.

He knew his ankles would be swollen the next day,
From the twisting and the toppling.
And as he stared into the mirror,
I know he felt so alone.

I’m here. I’m here, reaching out to you.

You are not alone.

We are all watching you.
Waiting for you.
Backing you from the Other.

10. “Hollow”

She always dreamed of the screaming,
The running,
The hoots and hollers,
The “Get her!”’s,
The arrows whizzing by.

The feeling of terror when he stepped in front of her,
Stopped her with his body—
He was taller and she ran into him,
Helpless,
And he held her,
And he chuckled,
And her heart pounded,
And he said,
“Look who we have here.”

He always dreamed of the laughing,
The chasing,
The shouts and clammers,
The “Get him!”’s,
The arms strangling him, tugging backwards.

The feeling of helplessness when they grabbed his face,
Spit on him,
Tilted his head and laughed,
Touched his chest and cut away the binder,
Terror,
And they held him,
And they laughed,
And he began to cry
As they said,
“You used to look so pretty.”

And he wanted to escape to Neverland,
But she just wanted to wake up,
Living their worst nightmares—
Living each other’s best dreams.

And I’m watching them both through the glass,
Through the refraction,
Through the water,
But they’re still a lifetime away,
And when they said there were two wolves inside me,
I don’t think they ever thought it was possible

That they could still both starve.

11. "Pure"

12. “La Sombra”

Ella está en las estrellas,
En los arboles,
En las nubes,
En la tierra,
En el aire—

En los vestidos olvidados
Que guardo en mi armario.

En fotos antiguas,
En viejos recuerdos.

Y ella es hermosa.

Y es hermoso.

Pero la quiero aquí conmigo.



(Rough) English translation:

13. “Hush”



She was always quiet,



And she was always still,



And she stopped her fidgets,



Held her breath and tongue,



So by the time she was laid in her coffin,



Most people could not tell the difference.

14. “Phoenix”

Hands to the water, nose to nose,
Eyes unblinking and wide,
Suffocating to stave off
Any guilt, any ripples.

I can almost feel them here,
When I am like this.
I can almost reach out and touch
The children who burned for me.