Young Writers Society

Really enjoying reading along with these - there's a lot of fun rhymes that just make me sort of smile by how well they work. Poem 15 is a favorite with how you creatively spun the traditional sonnet format around. These two lines in that one are especially gorgeous: "The wind was singing in my hollow chest. / It seemed confused to find space there." - the double personification of the wind really makes the image feel inventive. A lot of these have a good sense of "whimsy" or a certain magicallness / fairy-land-esque" vibe to them almost as far as the "mood" I'm getting. Another very strong personification of nature in poem 6, "White hydrangeas sip at drops of sky."

Enjoyed the concept of "In Fiery Autumn Wind" and thought the final couplet was the perfect conclusion. Also like that you got a "liminal" poem in there! Very eponymic (if I'm using that word right!)

Looking forward to continuing to read along with your beautiful twists on nature and fairy-tale imagery!

Aw, thanks, @momonster!

Thanks for reading and commenting @alliyah! Haha gotta thank the real-life hydrangeas I've been seeing for that line!

This one happens to be a first draft! Got to writing it late at night. The idea is to write from the point of view from some small race of critters that have never been to sea before, but beyond that, no thoughts head empty on my part. Not super happy with the execution but I kind of like the idea still.

Edit: Forgot to mention -- the twist in this sonnet is that the iambs have been replaced with trochees.

What's funny is I wrote this poem inspired by the class of my DnD character, the Ranger!

Here was the first draft:

20. a)

How might a guardian wander from his post?
Eclipsed in shadow, down amongst the ferns,
the light beyond scintillates and burns –
although he may be sturdier than most,
in hiding from the elves, he cannot boast.
The crows approach to mock him. The oak tree learns
to lose its leaves around him. The cliffside spurns
him quickly with a cave-in on the coast.

He turned the fire into streaks of gold,
to light his path towards the silvery isle,
the misty place that welcomed him from far.
He shed his cloak, his dagger, and all things old,
and magic would disintegrate the pile.
He left the things that were – for things that are.


I thought some lines towards the beginning felt forced and thankfully the ideas came to mind that let me change them to something more meaningful. Another smaller change I considered was the phrase "although he hides from love", but I didn't feel like that was the story I wanted to tell in this thread.

Now you've made me want to write poems about my dnd characters

@Ventomology Do it!

22. a) The Bitter Knight

“Are you the one I’m looking for?” I asked,
before the hardy rock studded with blue.
The rock was silent. I knew it had been tasked
to harshly test my resolution true.

A knight at sea, I was all alone.
I listened to the mermaid’s music long.
Each distant voice, each low and humming tone
became my journey’s endless walking song.

“Are you the one I’ve been searching for?” I asked,
beseeching isles, volcanoes, mounts and wrecks,
under the ever-watchful sun they basked
and none would help me or stick out their necks.

None would give their secrets out to me:
an act which would betray their destiny.

Ah, I love the vibes in this one! The lines "inside a dusty cottage needing care" and "to find and clean forgotten treasures there" speak of a quiet, idyllic life in the countryside or somewhere, and it just feels really nice to imagine living in this cottage. :]

Thanks for reading, @Spearmint!

Tried organising this sonnet into couplets based on something I read on poets.org. I think it does give it a new rhythm compared to what I usually do, and also makes me concentrate more on how the individual lines work.