full of phantoms

1, 2, 3, 4

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Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Sat Apr 22, 2023 3:37 am

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fatherfig says...

walking forwards like a smiling dead boy
as you aim at me with careless words
i show you my bare heart waiting for anything at all
it feels like a vase has crashed of a shelf in my stomach
when my love is shot down - you just said okay again
i tilt my head up and keep walking
maybe the hole in my stomach was always there
for you to see through

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Sat Apr 22, 2023 5:27 am

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fatherfig says...

i'll feel you like a bullet in the shoulder
an instant overwhelming pain that will make me clench my teeth
making eye contact as i walk by will be like
licensing my own sniper that will be how
i'll know if its you when i first see you
the dull ache of walking by without saying anything
will bring me to my knees
from afar and even up close
you will stand out like scarlet drippings on a marble table
unmistakeable and thick sticking to my fingers
and as much as i try to wipe you away
you'll still stain
when i hurt you there will be knives twisting in my stomach
a slow death that i will face
until i say im sorry and you forgive me
and when you die there will be a swift bullet
the end of you will be
the end of me

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Sat Apr 22, 2023 5:28 am

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fatherfig says...

sometimes i pretend i have met you; oh holy 'love interest'
i place you in the eyes of people i value. once i made fun of you,
but i never noticed how much i loved you until i realized
you were a peice of the darkness in me
a mental image of kindness and virtue twisted

because after all you love my worst
please come and encourage my awful behaviour
fall to your knees- with your hands on mine-
i sometimes place you into the shells of people i hold onto
as if you could make them whole again

filling my heart with scars is your passion
and i love a bad guy who has insecurities
you make them look alive again
with a love for me thats not from a heart
looking up to kiss me with ink pouring out of your mouth

i drink it as love but i know its poison

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Sat Apr 22, 2023 5:28 am

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fatherfig says...

will you be my marrionette-
i want someone who will push me to the point of-
snapping in half on an intire crowd of imbeciles
can you be my anarchist- i want an angry boy
who hates everything and i know the only reason im alive is
we are so alike and you cant ever hurt yourself; we have poison in our tears
so we never cry but if we did it would be
our personal cyanide to share-
can you be my human impersonator -
i know one day i will marry a sociopath,
and i've beem wondering if its you that im seeing in my path
when i close my eyes; head back grinning with canines- smiling
with those blue calculating eyes; how many moves until
you can cue my checkmate with your
frighteningly perfect teeth that i may
want to be between if you let me-
and a tongue made of silver
that i may actually kiss...

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Sat Apr 22, 2023 7:02 am

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fatherfig says...

i wanna pick you up- from the bottom of the bucket of your fears
i wanna show you what it feels like- to be here
you were never present- always smiling in the abstract
because you didnt question how beautiful you were
you were made a machine at getting your way- an impossibly good actor
you could be anyone but not get out of way
always in my sight you stay- and im not anything you want
which is what makes me perfect
because you dont want anything anyway
i'll be here with open arms and i will catch you
because you would let me fall - and i wont go away
and it hurts you that im so good
but i'll assure you- im just poison misunderstood
all of the venom that you spit from pearly canines
is cotton candy drool and im sorry to cross the lines
but if i tried to grab you by the hand
im sure you would come along anyway
you just want to be chosen
and im the one who will pick you always
so stand up in a crowd
and i'll be there again
to take you away
dear be a good boy
because if your not
i still wont give you away

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Sat Apr 22, 2023 7:47 am

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fatherfig says...

your eyes are like sunflower seeds
beady black and full of lust for life
maybe i made that last part up but i know surely as hell
you are the one of us that mostly doesnt want to die
as long as its for the most part i dont mind
because a painful resurrection
will leave you screaming sublime
each note an intonation
on the pleasure incline
you were born of mud and so was i
so i think its only fair that i resculpt you
from the thick of my mind
the devil in manhattan or in your eyes
im not sure which is bolder
but i know i dont stand a chance
if you smile

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Sat Apr 22, 2023 8:13 pm

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fatherfig says...

you are a smiling golem, you are the perfect boy
you have you own will, you designed the perfect ploy
i've fallen in your trap- but i'm not dumb enough to think
that you're in love- so if you are prove it
in your sudden way- pull away the lies
bare your truth with me- show me
through that tearful smile and those troubled eyes,
i want to see you now, clean before me
without all the deceit clinging to your face
you are hurting with every step- so you grit your teeth and grin
wickedly- living in exile everyday- you are slowly going insane
and i just want to feast on your smile, broken or not,
look at me now and convince me you are really in love
you are the sociopath in my closet- a broken mud doll
lips parted just enough to let the truth seep out
lets be broken together; let me see you now
i wanna be made out of your clay and your tears
i want to be one of the beautiful lies
exiting your mouth
so look at me now

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Tue Apr 25, 2023 2:28 am

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fatherfig says...

i've become a stone in your garden after all this time.
tilling these hills until i lost my pride,
you took it from me because everything always looked better on you.
i hope you enjoyed watching me erode, this is my metamorphosis; it's your turn
this isn't for you, i'm taking the garden back, it looks better on me now
so i hope you don't want any produce. take the nothing you gave me back
i'm not a statue, as still as i have been until now
you thought you killed me, but i'm a perenial, ouch
it must be infuriating that i'll be what you see before your vision goes black
you will suffer an affliction like i did when you brought me drought.
because i am taking the life you stole from me back.
the ghost you made me he moves his old bones in the flower bed
and he has finally lifted his face from the mud; he seeks blood.
the noise you make sucking the life put of the plants
has woke the dead from his poisoned nap.
the soil that seemed to stay still is ever shifting,
and the wind that was warm to you is crisping now.
the trees that fed you are dying and i am not planting them back.
i bet now you wish you weren't always on the attack, but it's far too late now.

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Tue Apr 25, 2023 10:40 pm

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fatherfig says...

i abstain my touch despite your pleading
because i have seen your knived hands weaving
seeds of distrust and internal bleeding
into the innocent trees that are weeping

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Wed Apr 26, 2023 3:49 am

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fatherfig says...

here i am with cold hands
holding all the air around me hostage
with the shallow breaths i take
before exhaling hollow sighs
i have always been dead
you are only just noticing now
how much space my carcass takes

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Thu Apr 27, 2023 3:33 am

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fatherfig says...

you love with greek fire tornadoes and locusts
how positive is a love that diseases its bearer
it's a love as old as the roman gods
and as potent as cyanide
yet i hear it all the time
turn your head up to the sky
get a mouthful and taste of the almond
nevermind the bitterness
nevermind how you choke on your own blood
this is love; this is kindness, open your heart
i've gotten the salt down from the cupboard
let me sprinkle it in; this is how we want you to feel
you are broken you are ugly; but with this love
you are whole; let me break your arms and legs
just to save you from yourself; you are stupid
let me take your mind and put it in a paper shredder
now you are better, don't you feel loved
accept my love; believe what i believe

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Thu Apr 27, 2023 7:29 pm

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fatherfig says...

i get carsick thinking about moving in a different direction
my life is back up plans for back up plans
because everything eventually breaks when i need it to stay
i see myself cold and calculating a way to keep living when you die
my dreams are butterflies living thirty days at most
i see you fading away and i'd reach out and hold you
but you prefer your pride- even when you cry
i might miss you or at least the hate in your eyes
if this falls through i'll have twenty other ways to go on
or maybe none, but i'll surely find one after it crashes into the sun
and you'll think i've won, but really i'm just cutting the threads
so i won't get hurt when this dream also dies- it's last whispers of agony
just aren't for me- i can't be here to watch it collide
when everything goes wrong i retreat inside- close my eyes
to the distant sound of explosions i uncover the chalk board
and here we are with broken relics and mismatched peices
trying to fly- my curse is never caring how hard i tried
my curse is watching the happiest part of me die
my curse is being stuck on the inside
only able to hear you cry
there's a sociopath in my future
or maybe its just the one
inside

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Fri Apr 28, 2023 4:02 pm

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fatherfig says...

an old sycamore tree- did you know that they are hollow
it sits in front of me, with it's leaves all gone now
all of it's barren save for the little round adornations that cling,
spheres of doubt and sorrow- i've heard these trees are ghostly,
i think it's just like me, the truth is hard to swallow

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

Gender:

Points: 22098
Reviews: 455

Sun Apr 30, 2023 3:03 pm

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Hijinks says...

Spoiler! :

When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)

Gender:

Points: 33
Reviews: 105

Mon May 01, 2023 3:52 am

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fatherfig says...

Spoiler! :

if you died tonight tomorrow my mouth would be dry
but i'd wish you the safest passings and go right on
maybe later during the year i'd cry
but they would be tears of wishing i had mourned,
your eyes might as well be closed already
and if your heart beats it must be unsteady and quiet like a stone,
let me assure you i love you and respect you too
but there is something broken in it not being returned
i can't love you as much as i'm supposed to
because you believe that love has to be earned
you were in the military and that must have scarred you
they say most who go never return
are you not the same as you were before you served
i wasn't alive at the time i wonder if you were kind before
you expect me to lower my shoulders when you enter a room
be quiet as a mouse and read scripture until the noon
and while that's lovely i'm not a mouse or priest- i'm not even christian
so i'm afraid that isn't happening, but i can help out if you need it
i'm not a foot prop or a maiden or an officer of lower standing
in this house i'll make you coffee but i'm not a stepping stool
i'm not a woman from the 1930s i'm afraid i'm not a woman at all
and my wants are just as important as yours- everyone's are
so yes i love you and yes i respect you
and yes i'd be sad if you died
but if you passed tonight i wouldn't regret arguing that i do try,
that i will have a life, you never see my efforts
because they don't go towards what you want
but you never cease to see when i fail,
as if my success isn't what you want
tonight you criticized my will to wake up on time
and it's petty to argue this i know is true
but not as petty as the look in your eyes
when you try to demean me for living my life
i love you and because i do i hope you learn how to be kind
i read a little bit of your scripture and you seem a bit off to me
because if constant criticism isn't what you want from your neighbor
you probably need to pray tonight

"i dont slay i slaughter, luke i am your father..." ~fatherfig

1, 2, 3, 4

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