z

Young Writers Society


these scattered lines might make a map



User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Fri Apr 23, 2021 8:16 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



25. maslow's hierarchy of needs

the wind tries to give me everything i need.
it is the ten tender fingers turning my hair
into a tangled crown, rogue curls stabbing
my eyeballs and strands of hair catching
on chapped lips. it is the oxygen tubes
shoving air up my nose, unrelenting
in its help and making every exhale an
action of concentrated effort. it is the burbling
of small talk in conversation-starved ears,
(the "how're you doing" but never the
genuine "are you okay"); this constant
build-up of pressure makes my eardrums ache.
the everything i need makes everything worse.
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Sat Apr 24, 2021 6:05 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



26. a habit of hypothermia

Image
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Sun Apr 25, 2021 7:51 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



27. i have been searching for maps in meaningless places.

i tell myself that the delta of veins in my wrist
will show me which rivers to follow.
the crescents of white at the base of fingernails
might eventually reveal the time of night.
as if i trace the freckles along my collarbone long enough
and my fingers will stumble upon the answers.
i am convinced that the next time i run my fingers over
the pricklish hair at the nape of my neck, i will read braille.
the crackle of my vertebrae when i stretch
must be whispered directions that only my bones know.
if i could climb my spine's mountainscape,
i would finally discover what destination i'm aiming for.
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
1227 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 147270
Reviews: 1227
Mon Apr 26, 2021 2:42 am
View Likes
alliyah says...



Spoiler! :
I don't even know how to say how much I LOVE poem 21 whatcha! AHHH!

Like:
torn or whole and folded into infinite origami loops. And I know, even if I find it whole and I unfold it, even if I follow the grid to each x-marked destination, I might find nothing there but me, and the only placation is breathing lonely air into my lungs


the way that you've twisted all this body imagery with unexpected concrete imagery, and how the fear of losing objects for the speaker is connected with what I'm interpreting as fear of losing themselves? (and also maybe desiring to lose themselves?) is just very powerful. And I am noticing how you're returning again and again to this map motif more in the 2nd half of your napo too (I may just not have been observant enough in the connections in the first half!) but I'm really enjoying that, since I'm a huge fan of "place poetry". The sound devices throughout are excellent too - and you did a really incredible job reading it that just gave even more meaning to each phrase, and that final line "I am lost in the wreckage of losing things" was so sad and just the right ending I think! D: (I feel like poem 23 would also make an incredible spoken poem too actually because it has so many good sound devices)!

That being said I think another one of my favorites is your last poem - number 27, you just hit all the right combinations of interesting body imagery, and landscape imagery, and this longing / hopeful vibe combined with a feeling of confusion / root-lessness is just perfection.

Had a lot of fun reading your re-hatching of the chicken poem too~ !! That was a fun / unexpected combination of things with both those poems together!

You've done such a great job this month! Best of luck on your final poems, I can't wait to read them! <3
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Mon Apr 26, 2021 3:49 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



28. the teacher (you know the one)

  • they send you to a video on and never fail to add a graphic that juts out from the line of text like an irregularity in a heartbeat. assume every website is obscure enough to require visual representation until proven otherwise. when you cannot feel the thud of its pulse through the screen you must tear its heart out and watch it contract against the pixels.
  • two (2): every number that is spelled out in letters is followed by a (bracketed Arabic numeral), as if zero without (0) is a lack of nuance that renders life incomprehensible. multidimensionality is good until you discover it was already 3D and now you are pulling threads from reality in an attempt to add more of your cluttered dimensions.
  • .each empty bullet point left out for catching answers is followed by a period. an empty basket will not remember it was meant to collect things unless you give it a token to remember by, so fill it with a boulder and it will never forget that it's waiting for pebbles.
  • USE FORMATTING TO EMPHASIZE MESSAGES and add sub points in shirked, shy text. do not get bogged down in the details, because sometimes it is better to be lost in the big picture. and sometimes words are not enough, so you drown them in frills that add extra clarity to or distract from garbled sentences.
  • perhaps they were teaching me poetry and I never knew it, too caught up in the . double spaces and the missing( )in( )action hyphens. maybe one day I will learn to embrace the white space, burying my ears in the silence that sighs with missing imagery. and I will find the hyphens in a box in a cupboard and I will blow the dust from them, heaving grey particles into the air - one day I will build a concrete poem out of the dashes and matchsticks.
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Mon Apr 26, 2021 4:02 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



Spoiler! :
@alliyah thank you so much for all those lovely comments, they made my morning! <3 haha you're definitely right about the map motif, it was pretty absent from the first half but I've been trying to use it a bit more in my more recent poems so there's at least a slight theme :)
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Tue Apr 27, 2021 9:43 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



29. i haven't learned to walk yet

i am one foot
in front of the other:
right heel ahead of left toes.
i am caught between
wanting to raise my chin
and see the houses slide past me
as i walk, and wanting to
keep my eyes roped
to the sidewalk, because
perhaps i can read love
in the disconnected
cracks of concrete.
i am dry pastel
chalks clenched to dust
in your gaze -
i thought we could scratch
a mural into our path,
but then it rained
and now we are just
streaks like claw scratches in the sidewalk.
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
70 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6980
Reviews: 70
Wed Apr 28, 2021 5:06 am
View Likes
Euphory says...



Hiiii @whatchamacallit !! <333 dropping a quick review down here!

Spoiler! :
I'VE ALREADY SAID THIS A GAZILLION TIMES BUT AAHHHHHH YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE POETS EVER AJDKEKLSSL <3333333 I absolutely ADORE your writing style, and how you manage to convey emotion in even the most mundane of things, and make even those mundane things 10x times more meaningful in your poemss <333 I also am so in awe of how you experiment with your poetry so much, because that requires a lot of courage and, quite frankly, flexibility, and YOU ALWAYS ACE EVEN THE EXPERIMENTAL ONES and it's just so inspirational <33333

AND THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FELT with the last two poems in your threaddd <333 AHH MASTERPIECES

So I'll be writing an extended review on each down below~


28. the teacher (you know the one)
Spoiler! :
OMG THIS POEM WAS GENIUS AAAHHHHHH WHATCHAAAA this is why I love so many of your pieces, the originality in them is astounding O.O <333

I love how cleverly you formatted this whole poem, because AAA
Starting off with the YouTube one, I love that you inserted the logo there because it's exactly like a demonstration of the rest of the sentence! ("graphic that juts out from the line of the text like an irregularity in a heartbeat" THE METAPHOR IS PERFECT OMG)
And then the (bracketed Arabic numeral) and the bullet point and font size difference everything JUST AJDKELSPSLKEMW <33333333

my favourite line has got to be this one
perhaps they were teaching me poetry and I never knew it, too caught up in the double spaces and the missing( )in( )action hyphens. maybe one day I will learn to embrace the white space, burying my ears in the silence that sighs with missing imagery. and I will find the hyphens in a box in a cupboard and I will blow the dust from them, heaving grey particles into the air - one day I will build a concrete poem out of the dashes and matchsticks.


Because oh my gosh, I relate so much to the double spaces and hyphens part, but I never could have saw the next sentence coming- the imagery that comes from those lines completely blew me away <333333

This was such a wonder to read, and I feel like my smol brain didn't catch nearly all of the things you've hidden there, and I love when poems do that to me, it's like a little mystery that keeps giving :"D <333


29. i haven't learned to walk yet
Spoiler! :
Ahhhh this one hit me like a ton of bricks :'( whenever I'm sad, I have this tendecncy to sort of droop my head, and it's like I don't become aware of it until, like, three hours have passed oops- so that whole dilemma about whether the speaker should look up or stay down hooked me to the rest of the poem <333333

AND AAAAHHHHHHH the way you managed to connect the description of the ground to a fallen relationship is such an interesting concept and I'm so fascinated by how you managed to tie it all together so incredibly well, I wonder what your thought process was while writing this oh my goshhh <33

i am dry pastel
chalks clenched to dust
in your gaze -


I felt a physical sensation reading that <\333 it's definitely my favourite line

i thought we could scratch
a mural into our path,
but then it rained
and now we are just
streaks like claw scratches in the sidewalk.

AHHH this was such a masterful comparison as well, I can picture it all in my head as I read it, two people drawing a mural and then everything rains, and now it's all "streaks like claw scratches" WHICH IS SUCH A VIVID IMAGEE <\3333

Overall, this poem was my brain struggling to comprehend your genius and my heart shattering in pain <33


Spoiler! :
AHHH SORRY FOR THE LONG REVIEW <333 feel free to not reply, it's really understandable haha, and I hope this was helpful! You're such a spectacular poet, and I'm forever enchanted by how you manage to churn out such lovely poetry <3333 thank you so much for sharing, I wish you all the luck for your next poem or venture, and keep growing <33333
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Wed Apr 28, 2021 8:36 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



30. She is a lose-lose situation


Snout buried deep in the grasses
that are slim, slender rods of green
stretching out of the ditch to touch lightning:
her body is electrified and her tail whips
in circles, a windmill blade caught up
in a thunderstorm of excitement.
She has found a stick and this is
the highlight of the walk; it will stick
out in her memory like a flash of blinding white.
She is infatuated with the stick,
carrying it in her mouth like a cigar
that makes her feel adult now.
She launches it up onto the road,
runs to follow it, checking it like it
is a compass, goes where it is pointing,
and gingerly lays it back between teeth
and tongue. And then she sees a garbage
bag inhaling and exhaling the breeze
up ahead, and the flash of blinding white
dissolves into a brief snowfall of static
and she leaves the cigar stamped out
on the asphalt, bounding after
this tattered ghost instead.
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Wed Apr 28, 2021 8:42 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



Spoiler! :
@Euphoria8 awwww THANK YOU SO MUCH for the lovely comment <333

I'VE ALREADY SAID THIS A GAZILLION TIMES BUT AAHHHHHH YOU ARE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE POETS EVER AJDKEKLSSL <3333333
OMG YOU ARE SO KIND <3333333333

I also am so in awe of how you experiment with your poetry so much, because that requires a lot of courage and, quite frankly, flexibility, and YOU ALWAYS ACE EVEN THE EXPERIMENTAL ONES and it's just so inspirational <33333
asdlfkasgdhksjfksflkj you don't how much it means to hear this Euph :'))) I'm so glad my experimental ones aren't total flops haha xD I do really enjoy experimenting, so I'm glad you enjoy the ~interesting~ results :D

I felt a physical sensation reading that <\333
eeep this is literally the best compliment I have ever received :')))) I just adlfaksgjdhfjksf THANK YOU <333

Thank you so so much for that lovely comment again Euph, it really made my day :D
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
70 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6980
Reviews: 70
Thu Apr 29, 2021 12:10 am
View Likes
Euphory says...



Spoiler! :
of courseeee <333333333

NO U <33333333333333

your experimental ones aren't flops at all, omg, they're my favourites from you in fact <3333333 yes I enjoy them very much! ^^

JXJSMDJMDD I'M GLAD YOU THINK SO :"D IT'S NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL <333333333

It's not a problem at all, I'm so glad it made your day <333
Viola Tricolor also known as wild pansy, Johnny Jump up, heartsease, heart's ease, heart's delight, tickle-my-fancy, Jack-jump-up-and-kiss-me, come-and-cuddle-me, three faces in a hood, love-in-idleness, and pink of my john-
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Thu Apr 29, 2021 5:32 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



31. a dying butterfly effect

echoes
have grown silent,
muffling ears like mothballs -
claustrophobic, heavy, listless
sound wraiths.
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Fri Apr 30, 2021 8:09 pm
View Likes
Hijinks says...



32. we leave in limbo

we could stay in this limbo-land
forever, map crumpled feverishly
in the back pocket, eyes resting
almost shut so the world simmers
between shivering lashes
and we imagine the thunderous
wind in the treetops is lightning
laced waves at the beach.

when the snowflakes land
on our cheeks like freckles,
we whisper "hello spiderweb crumbs"
and then we rub the rusty tears
from our waterline. we take off
our breathy glasses and unfold the map.


we follow an intersection of ink
furrows into the woods where there
is an ocean tumbling above our ears,
and let our footsteps trace
the railway ribbons on our hearts,
leaving our story in the snow. someday
it will dissolve into mud, and we
will find spring in our limbo-land.
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  








What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -- the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
— William Shakespeare