11. how to take too much
i'm crying again:
each step was too much for my heart,
beating faster and harder to get just a little further
but in the end, my knees gave out. i crumbled and
the blood stopped pumping, so the only roar left in my ears
is silence. nothing left, no more running,
so the thoughts i couldn't outrun consumed me.
by now you can't even recognize me anymore
i'm a spectator in my own body, a puppet on strings,
bending to the will of the demons in my mind.
they feast off my misery, live off my suffering,
pushing me further and further down the spiral
until i don't know where i end and they begin.
but they grow tired of me --
it's been too long, it's gotten too easy to pull me back
to use me in their rotten game. but you. you're too close
your heart too pure, and with arms wrapped around me
i infect you too, coating my sharp words with their poison
knowing the pain it will bring but too far gone to stop it.
(and if you leave me too, i'll understand. after all
these demons were just me the whole time.)
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