Young Writers Society

I'm running out of things to write about so I'm sort of just describing things idk.

It's been awhile since I've done a ranting/journal poem. I used to do this in high school a lot but then it felt like oversharing so I stopped. Today was a hard day, really disappointing. Every good writer has been rejected though. It's just upsetting because I really wanted to put an end to this era of waiting for acceptance letters from university programs and whatnot. I'm just so tired of it. Oh well, next year I'll try again. I'll try to write a lot this summer for myself and maybe something out of that will be better than what I sent to the program.

CHARMMMMMMMMM
I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR THREADDDDDD
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

seriously, I think your thread might just be one of my favourite NaPo threads ever this year! <333 all your poems were just so beautiful, so spectacular, I can't even describe how much I devoured each word! <3333

I was excited for your thread as soon as I saw your title- "a journal of deep breaths" is such a breathtaking and ( ) gentle name for this <3 and the moon quote on the intro page!- it's offically added to my quote book <3

I think the reason I cherish your poetry and writing style so incredibly much is the imagery- YOUR IMAGERY IS JUST *chef's kiss*. I'm a lover for good imageries, and yours is some of the best I've encountered <3 your descriptions are short, but the specificity, word choice, and structure of each sentence is really transports you to the exact thing you're describing, and it displays itself in my mind so vividly and splendidly <3333

Some of my favourite bits of imagery from some of your poems:

I sigh along with spring,
listen easefully to the bird songs
that fill the yard, to the scurrying
feet of squirrels climbing bark,
and distance cars that whisper,
drifting along the highway,
their presence, a quiet reminder
of life outside these walls.

a single iris
blooming
large white petals
open like arms extended,
asking for a hug,
for a friend.

like there’s a hand
holding my head
underwater

[their voices are jumbled
distant-remarks of worry
washing over my skin,
never sinking in.]


I’m somewhere
between reality
and reverie,

I can’t help but imagine what it’ll be like:
late mornings smelling of french press coffee,
a lemon tree on the balcony, house plants
spreading their vines towards the rare sun,
our color scheme a mix of
your minimalism and my academia:
grey on blue on pink on green.

in the darkness
water gurgles
from across the fence,
insects sing their lullabies
from the shrubs, and
the highway whirls softly
like a distant storm.

I want to float and forget,
then, lay in the sun, turn crisp
like a t-shirt hung to dry.
feel the heat kiss my back,
smell chlorine on my skin.

it’s the kind of weather
that turns dogs into clouds,
that blurs glasses,
that turns the sky
into a gray abyss.

it’s the kind of weather
that, somehow, makes it
easier to breathe.

in the absence of you
I make the most of my world.

yet it settles in like a wound, dull pain fading,
it only hurts when you poke it, when you think—
it’s another year put on hold, another year of uncertainty.
I lie around not sure what to do, just sitting in silence,
feel the tears that only ever hit the border of my waterline,
feel the lump swollen in my throat,
I try to swallow it down, remember it doesn’t define me.

slump down, crumble like
a cake, too hastily removed the pan,
half-stuck, torn apart. but don't worry,
we can patch it together,
with icing to fill the cracks —
it’ll still taste good,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀right?

I'M SO SORRY FOR THE INSANE AMOUNT OF QUOTATIONS, I would quote every poem on here if I could because of how much I love all of them aoxkkekd <333333

AND THE FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE AND METAPHORS IN SOME OF YOUR POEMSSSS <3333 Downpour was a very relatable poem, and coupled with the metaphor of rain, it was exquisite <3 Spread Thin is another poem I relished, because of how beautifully you connect jam to words, and that last part about spreading it thin <\333 your poetry is my jam, Charm <333

Some of your poems also had some lovely descriptions going on, but then veered into a more dark sort of theme, those lines especially tended to be short and concise and yet packed with emotion that gave me goosebumps <3 some of the poems with that haunting feeling for me were Iris and Aquarium. There were also some that were straightforward in regards to their sadness, or the negative emotions, like Drowning and Release, both relatable and utterly heartbreaking <\3

My FAVOURITE FAVOURITE FAVOURITEEEEES out of your thread were Cherry Blossoms (AAAAAAAA THIS ENTIRE POEM HAD MY HEARTTT the varied amount of emotions in it, the specificity, the imagery EVERYTHING), Erin (AHXJEJDDJ THIS POEM HAD ME ON MY KNEES, the imagery in this is SO RICH, and I just love the idea of two people just doing their own happy thing while talking and just generally being comfy and happy, but then there was the sharp and melancholic twinge of reminiscing to it too which is just <\3333), Phone Calls (the concept of this poem was also so wonderfully sweet to me, in addition to the way you described the party on the other side of the call and how these calls made you feel, just ahh <333) and Showers. (Relatability level 100, the idea of showers washing away the bad emotions of the day along with the imagery of water clearing out the dust <333 everything worked so well in this one!)

I also noticed some of your wallposts on how you've been trying hard this NaPo and I really do admire your perseverance to keep going despite everything, your poems really reflect all the thought and effort you put into them, and I truly am very in love with your thread <333 I think you did an amazing job and I hope you're super proud and happy with it and yourself <333333

AND that concludes my essay on your thread XD I super duper apologize if my review was hard to get through because of its length, I'm just like a huge fan now and I had so much to say about all your poetry so it was hard to make it smaller jxjdj <3333 I hope this review was helpful though!

I wish you lots of luck, love, and joy for your next poem or venture, and I hope you have a good day, thank you for sharing and keep growing! <3333