Young Writers Society

I dunno where I was going with this. >.> But it is what it is~ xD

Also lol fun fact: this was originally a very messy sonnet but then I decided I just liked these two bits so :')

I tried doing a limerick? But you can obviously tell that I kinda gave up with the last two lines. xD I have no idea where the bass came from but it happened and the students gave it to the teacher because they felt bad for being mean. ;-; Moral of story poem: be nice.

Also I've been straying from my theme these past few days aghhh D:

But I promise I'll try getting back on track tomorrow or in the next few days, I just needed to pump out words for NaPo. c:

I 'unno, I tried doing something related to space. Maybe next time I'll try doing something related to the human anatomy, ish? We'll see~

Ughh I know I know I said I would do a poem every day but yesterday was terrible and I was having a migraine and I was prepping for a test that I just did this morning and I had to finish a brutal science handout ajsjhg ANYWAY

Yes I know I said I was going to do a human-anatomy-related poem, but alas.

If this poem sounds a little familiar and you’ve read my previous NaPo thread or read one of the poems that I published on the site, then it’s because this is a revised version of the poem. But anyway, voila, this is it. Here's the version I posted in my NaPo 2019 thread. And here's the version that I published on the site. :)

To catch up, I’ll probably go ahead and revise another poem. Maybe. I dunno, we’ll see. It’s a Friday so I should have enough time to do something productive. xD

Voila! *jazz hands*

Also thank you very much @grandwild and @JoyDark for the inspo. <3 c: I tried incorporating the zombie apocalypse but you could say that that's what the speaker is running away from, and all the world's turned into a zombie but the speaker because she was so engrossed in her music~

Iiii dunno. xD

Yes I'm aware I missed like a week of poeting but shhh at least I tried to get something out. Have I changed my mind and decided Imma just got with the Hearty Halfway? Yes sirree. Anywho, I know this poem isn't the best and it's not spacey BUT chemistry is science so hah I win. ;-;

And also the inspo for this poem first came from Friday when I was in chem, and we were caramelizing sugar and it smelt so good. We were allowed to have some but I was fasting haha, so alas. But then the night after (at like one in the morning rip), I wrote the first half of this poem, thinking I was so scientific. But then when I fell asleep, I had a nightmare about drowning in sugar, so I whipped that other half up. xD

If you've still been reading my poems, thank you. <3 I really appreciate it and am super grateful that you've been taking out the time to read my stuff. c: And the fact that you've been with me for more than half of NaPo even though I haven't been consistent. ;-; Means a lot. <3 <3

Woops another non-spacey and free-verse-ish poem. >.>

Inspiration came frommm... reality. Ish. Idk it stings to think about but it's nice to barf-write it out. xD

It's my first time reading your poetry, and one of the reasons I was so compelled to read your thread in the first place was your theme "science can be a prompt for poems" WHICH IS SO TRUEEEEE I RELATED SO MUCH and AHHHH I absolutely love that your poems have a healthy mix of sciencey things, emotion and figurative language, and something I noticed is that a lot of your poems are deeply entrenched in nature and atmosphere as well, which is AAHHHHH <33333333 and I must not neglect to mention how you've edited your poems in these little photos and AAAA I really think that's such a lovely touch to your thread <3

And IT'S TOTALLY OKAYYYY that you missed a week of poeting, I think what's more incredible is that you posted again and CAME BACK WITH A BANGGG because that's not easy, and I really deeply commend your dedication and perseverance <3333333333

So I'll be dropping a review on your recent poems here~ <3

I LOVE THIS POEM SO MUCH it starts off fairly simple, you describe the environment around you and the caramelising the sugar and I could almost smell all of it by the way you described it in the atmosphere ahh <333

AND THE SECOND STANZA is like a HUGE SHIFT and suddenly, there's this desperation and the way you wrote "bite into it bite into it biteintoit-" and repeated it was such an amazing way to showcase that desperation and then there's this other mind voice in the speaker saying that it isn't sweet and it's just AAAAA

And finally, they do bite into it, and that description of toxicity <\333 broke my heart, I was really hoping it was sweet rip
But I loved the whole concept of the poem, it was super interesting to read! I think my only gripe was that the shift between the two stanzas was a littke too sudden, like, there could've been a transition between them that could then sort of gradually bring in the desperation but I saw you wrote this at separate times so I get you, and it's totally okay if this is isn't supposed to be a super polished poem XD <33333

ah. So. Many. Feels. <\33333 I connected with this poem because I feel a similar way about a friend of mine, so this one really hit me in the heart oof <\33343

But apart from my own personal relation to this, this poem was sucha delight to read, I love how you started with a silhouette in the fog and then ended with that same note, consistency like that really can tear a reader apart <\333

There are so many emotions in this poem and I really like that you explore each of them, nothing feels rushed at all, it starts with wanting to protect them, and then the pain at seeing them leave, and then waiting and the desperation, and the final stanza is definitely my favourite, the wistful hope that the speaker has <\333333 really amplifies the pain <\333

but wherever you are, I hope you're
still laughing, your eyes shining with
joy just the way they did when we
sat beneath the sky, watching the stars
twinkle, just like your smile

<\333333 my heart

I also loved that you compare the twinkling stars for their smile, I usually see it with eyes, so it was nice to see smiles described like that instead <3

I APOLOGIZE FOR SUCH A LONG REVIEWWWW <3333 I hope it was helpful! Good luck on your next poem or venture, thank you for sharing and keep growing <333

aww @euphoria8 that's so sweet of you omg ;-; <3 thank you so much ahhh <3 <3 <3

ahhhh lol i'm glad you liked the sugar poem!! the two stanzas were written at different times, yeah xD and i usually end my poems in disappointment rip sorry xD

also idk if you noticed or not, but the sugar poem's second half was supposed to be a sort of a metaphor for reality? people pressurizing you to do things you know is wrong, but you do it anyway because ~peer pressure~ also it kinda related to me drowning in sugar in my dream ahfjakf

aww :/ sorry about your friend <33 glad it was relatable!! (not in a bad way tho hjfhaf >.>) also haha i was going to do "eyes" instead of "smile" but i ditched it because i already had eyes in the same stanza xD

thank you so much for reading omg glad you enjoyed my poems so far!! <3

Thank you to @whatchamacallit for the ideaaaa <3 <3

Also YAY I DID A SCIENCE-Y POEM :D SUCCESS

But anyway, I didn't go over this to edit it or anything because I knew I was prolly gonna delete the whole thing if I didn't like it so if you see any weirdness anywhere or if something doesn't make sense, it's fine, don't worry. xD

Also the inspo other than whatcha came from the lab report I did a few days ago for school. It was to see the chemical and physical properties of water, copper chloride crystals, and aluminum. And also a couple of other things that went through one ear and out the other rip.

BUT the actual ~thing~ behind this poem is how Copper needs "I" (water) to actually destroy someone, like people do sometimes. Without water, the copper chloride crystals weren't going to be able to form the chunks of red from the foil, which is actually copper I think? Don't look at me, I'm no chemist. >.> And if the copper chloride crystals weren't in the water, and the foil ad water had been put together, again, nothing would have happened. So I guess my point is that sometimes people need other people to hurt someone else, and it hurts more.

edit: omg this is so long, sorry xD

Lib! You have been doing so good. You have nailed it with this theme and your last one is absolutely amazing Gosh! It was so funny and I think you have some special grudge with copper xD Jk. The answers were very clever and hilarious at the same time. Well done

aww @Hkumar thank you for your words ahh <33 and omg glad you enjoyed the latest one!! i tried my best xD