z

Young Writers Society


a few nice words



User avatar
142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142




User avatar
142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142




User avatar
142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Thu Apr 01, 2021 9:49 pm
View Likes
looseleaf says...



babysitting

spending all day
staring at the ceiling
the dog is running around
and the wallpaper’s peeling

sister’s got a new hamster
and the other one is crying
she says her computer isn’t working
when it’s just super close to dying

all the words I want to say
are flowing through my head
they probably wouldn’t be appropriate
so they’re better off dead

some youtuber is on the tv
while the other one demanding a movie
i say we should read
but my opinion doesn’t matter

on her we found a little tic
while the other one has paint
she whines whenever we pull it
oh and now the dogs pink

and when my parents come back
after a late night with friends
i say it was all fine
although the chaos never ends
  





User avatar
142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Sat Apr 03, 2021 10:07 pm
View Likes
looseleaf says...



regifting used items from the perspective of the receiver: a haiku

regifting is fine
why did you tell me though
i’m not wearing it
  





User avatar
142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Sat Apr 03, 2021 10:08 pm
View Likes
looseleaf says...



outlining

it’s almost done
the outline I made
it’s written in a notebook
the cover’s made of suede

over twenty chapters
planned but unwritten
characters designed
but not a word spoken

there’s a death in chapter thirteen
so that’s unlucky
it was completely unintentional
but it’s still going to happen

we’re coming to the conclusion
of a nonexistent book
it’s like a guide
if I ever decide to look

and so it’s over
more than twenty pages
filled with lazy bullet points
and pencil scratches
  





User avatar
129 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 421
Reviews: 129
Sun Apr 04, 2021 1:10 pm
View Likes
yosh says...



I love that poem! <3 It's got a distinct rhythm!
they told me to never give up on my dreams.

so i took another nap
  





User avatar
142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Sun Apr 18, 2021 8:25 pm
View Likes
looseleaf says...



school halls


their eyes follow me
down the repetitive halls
nothing is different
except for their faces

a hundred years
of young students
immortalized in photos
watching new victims

no one in the halls today
remember the faces
that watch them unmovingly
waiting for them to join

it’s sad to wonder
what happened to these girls
with hope in their eyes
ready to face the world

all had hopes
dreams to fulfill
lives to live
all held in one photo

I wonder if they thought
everyone would know their name
but now no one acknowledges them
as they run to their next class

I stopped and looked once
the fashion and faces changing
the farther I walked
down the halls

the teachers were lecturing
students were snoring
but the halls full of people
were silent
  





User avatar
277 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1335
Reviews: 277
Mon Apr 19, 2021 1:00 am
View Likes
Charm says...



Spoiler! :
Hey looseleaf,

I like your poems. Especially "babysitting". It has a really good rhythm and descriptions. You're very good at rhyming too. Your rhymes don't feel obvious if you know what I'm saying. Sometimes rhyming comes off as too forced and your poems aren't like that at all.

Good luck with the rest of NaPo!
  





User avatar
455 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 22098
Reviews: 455
Mon Apr 19, 2021 1:03 am
View Likes
Hijinks says...



Hiya looseleaf!! First of all can I just say your intro image for this thread is so neat?? Also love the idea of an act of kindness being a piece of love left behind, that's so wholesome and poetic <33

babysitting definitely summarizes the chaos of young children perfectly xD I think the rhyming scheme fits the mood of that one really well, it's funny and light-hearted and altogether really nice! c: "oh and now the dogs pink" the offhandedness of that statement is beautiful.

Also adore the fact that the title of the haiku is two syllables longer than the actual haiku, that's such a mood and I love it <33

Ooh I really like your latest poem, I think you do an awesome job establishing the mood of mystery/stillness/intrigue!! "watching new victims", "waiting for them to join", "but the halls full of people / were silent" -> these images all have a delightful morbidness to them c:

Keep up the great work!! <3
When you're faced with something you don't understand, I think the most natural thing but also least interesting thing you can be is afraid.

-- Hank Green

they/them
(previously whatchamacallit and Seirre)
  





User avatar
142 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1992
Reviews: 142
Fri Apr 30, 2021 4:03 pm
View Likes
looseleaf says...



Ants

Flying over land today
Is not quite the same
As flying over land yesterday

All over the little ground
Are even littler ants
Going about their day

They're different specks
In different places
Every single time

The land has changed too
Today it's perfect
But its perfectness tells a story

The rolling hills that weren't there
Until someone as high as you
Created them from nothing

It's funny how everyone's equal in war
The man from Harvard and a janitor
All destroying the same land

They probably didn't see the ants
That were all hiding from them
That they were about to destroy

While their homes destruction was necessary,
The ants were innocent.
  








I'm also not sure why but even though I normally wear cool tones I have a feeling red would have been my color in the 1860s.
— Elinor