I'm excited to see some of your poems, Jade! There's a whole challenge and badge thing that motivates people to write poems to get cool badges too, if you wanna check that out.
Ok, so debated scrapping this/ not posting because I wrote it ages ago and it just brings up sad memories but I edited it here's my first kinda late NaPo poem!!
I thought you'd always make me smile,
Thought you'd always be there.
Every day with you was beautiful.
Thought you knew I cared.
~~~
Beause I was planning our future,
And, oh, how hard I tried.
Now I can only say, "I knew her,"
You decided to die.
~~~
I don't think I'll ever stop crying.
I just thought you'd be here.
Now I'm going to your funeral,
'Cause you thought no one cared.
"the wedding was charming if a little gauche; there's only so far new money goes.... it must have been her fault his heart gave out"
Ahhhh so great to see you've got a poem done! It's an interesting turn because the first verse sounds like it could be about a breakup, but then in the second verse the reader understands it's about a suicide, and the third verse teases out a potential sense of guilt on the part of the narrator for not being able to stop the other character from killing herself.
I think this poem was a neat read, just like BluesClues said. The reader can really get different emotions in every verse, and I like how the “Thought you knew I cared” was repeated by “‘Cause you thought no one cared.” Nicely done!
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
Your first NaPo poem for this month was great! It definitely explores a topic that I can personally relate to, and I thought that the contrast you created between the "thought you knew I cared" and the "cause you thought no one cared" was really neat. Keep up the good work!
-- "And I love the thought of being with you, or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone." ♡
The comparisons/images of how today's world is so different than what it used to be, definitely is relatable, and I like the line of "Smiles are nostalgic" as that really touches upon the tone of a bit of fear and that people probably aren't smiling much like they used to. :,)
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
That first line would TOTALLY SLAP except that I'm not lonely because I'm not home by myself! But I def see many people who are in lockdown alone getting lonelier as time goes on, so I think this is an astute observation!
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