15. It's Not Vanity If It's Culture
'We're not allowed,' Opal leant into Danny's ear and spoke with a quiet sternness as her fingers touched the shelf in the supermarket where a rainbow of lip glosses shone beneath a slanted mirror. Danny glanced up and down the isle to see where Ma' was. Izzy caught her stare instead and walked slowly towards us to investigate what she knew too well was Danny's look-out expression. She picked up a pink gloss and silently measured it up against Danny.
'You'll never get away with it,' she said and turned away. 'Come on troop.'
The other two hesitated, reluctant to be herded, but they both knew if they lingered too long Ma' would come looking and find them there.
When Izzy reached our mother she put her hand gently on the trolly.
'Ma, can I have some of my money? I want to buy a gift for you.'
'Don't be spending your money on me,' Ma' said, but Izzy wouldn't shift.
'Please Mama? I want to.'
'How much?'
'Can you give me ten? Save counting out change?'
Ma' reached into her purse and rummaged around until she found ten pounds and handed it over. 'Don't tell your sisters or they'll be wanting to spend money too.'
Izzy nodded and disappeared into the rest of the shop.
When we got home Izzy tentatively took a small tube of coloured lip balm out of her pocket and presented it to our mother.
'Izeah what is this?' Ma' said with a twinge of anger in her expression.
Izzy drew a deep breath. 'It's not really make-up, it's lip balm, for when your lips get dry in winter. It's... we were in class and we were talking about identity and the way we present ourselves and how we see ourselves and... you're a mother, but you're also a woman. This is so you can look after your skin and feel like you're a woman, and not just a mother.'
Ma' looked at her with as much scepticism as I'd ever seen in her and took the lip balm. She read the packaging as if it might tell her more, and eventually her expression softened. 'Thank you, sweetheart,' she said, with some vague sense of resolution, then kissed Izzy on the top of her head. 'Sometimes you girls grow up without me noticing.'
'You're welcome,' Izzy said in her best manners. Once the shopping was away with scurried out of the room. Upstairs Izzy grabbed Danny by the arm and stuffed a small, gleaming pink stick into her hand.
'What's this?' Danny whispered to her.
'She'll come around one day. Just don't let her find it.'
Izzy smiled and disappeared into their bedroom, leaving Danny standing in the hallway holding the gloss in her hand. Opal grinned.
'Clever,' she said.
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