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i swear all the birds will live until the end



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Sun Apr 05, 2020 2:53 am
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Tuckster says...



Spoiler! :
Don't tell the other poets I said this -- but poem #1 may be my favorite of all the poems I've read so far. I can connect to it so much, as an overachiever and perfectionist who is also learning to love the process of growth. My favorite lines were "But I'm trying to get used to stumbling // into new days, and falling in love // with the freshness of first drafts and birds // still learning to fly; straining wings against // the sky". It captured that emotion that I just described -- learning to love the process of growth -- so well in a succinct and imagery-packed format. Extremely well done!

Aside from that, the single description of "worn-out conversations" stuck out to me as a perfect description of what it feels like to be so comfortably in love with someone that you speak of the same things over and over again because you love talking to them. It's something I can connect with and captured that idea so well.

Keep up the great work!
Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.
~MLKJ
  





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Sun Apr 05, 2020 2:56 pm
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PrincessInk says...



aaah! the dark cyan poem is so gorgeous <3 somehow stanza 2 sticks a lot with me...maybe it's my own experience of saying "what does [expletive deleted] mean?" Haha xD
always daydreaming, always clumsy
  





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Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:56 pm
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mckaylaam says...



Although all of your writing is great, your fourth poem is my favorite so far! My favorite line had to be the last one where you wrote "How beautiful to be so boldly, so unashamedly in love." I also really liked your collab poem with BluesClues and CaptainJack about the zombie minnows. Keep up the great work!
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  





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Sun Apr 05, 2020 7:39 pm
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alliyah says...



Spoiler! :
Thank you everyone for your comments (& likes) - you're all so encouraging! <3
@ethanhoover Well, no. Teal is very different from Dark Cyan. -> I'll direct you to these two resources which I've made available in my signature as well. article, poem. Thanks again for commenting!
@hiraeth thank you!! (I'm loving all your formatting, keep it up!)
@Tuckster Awh, thanks! I appreciate that a lot Tuck. I don't know if you're into enneagram at all, but I'm an Enneagram 1, which is the perfectionist, and studying that a bit has given me a lot of insight into positive ways to use my perfectionism, and also ways that it's destructive - so I've been thinking on that a lot, because I think it comes up in my writing process a lot.
@PrincessInk thanks! even though like I said the soap-part is fictional, I definitely feel that - I still don't really swear at all to this day (in part because I don't want to let down my mom!) :D I like that each of those poems went in such different directions, but I feel like also had a thread of continuity.
@mckaylaam - thank you! That's one of my favorite's too, and I'm glad you liked the zombie one, that one was interesting to write for sure.


6. spring in past-tense
Image
maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Mon Apr 06, 2020 12:05 am
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Liberty says...



I couldn't choose on one favorite poem, but I really like to love so bold, dark cyan tastes like and spring in past tense. They're all so picturesque!

I'm eager for more! :)
LadyBug is the best frister ever <3
(everyone please know that LadyBug's the coolest goose you will ever meet)
(this goose blushes too much)
(lol imagine a blushing goose xD <3)
  





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Mon Apr 06, 2020 2:56 am
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Liminality says...



Loved 'dark cyan tastes like'! The line 'the preacher dropped you// sinking" was one of my favourites. It's so intense and surprises you at every turn.

There's a lot of imagery I like in the second poem, as well, like "water stained science textbooks, spines completely cracked" and "mario shaped marshmallows". And of course the drawing of the zombie minnows at the bottom is really great <3
  





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Tue Apr 07, 2020 12:53 am
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alliyah says...



Spoiler! :
@Liberty thank you! I appreciate it!
@Liminality thanks again! I think that was my favorite of the three - I really like the turn it took at the end - and so glad you liked the zombie one too - some times variety is fun!


sorry this one's a bit silly! but it's what we're going with. : )

7. let us write illegibly
Image

Spoiler! :
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maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Tue Apr 07, 2020 6:53 am
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alliyah says...



8. you have no clue

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9. perched on power-lines

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Spoiler! :
alternate formatting
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maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Tue Apr 07, 2020 12:49 pm
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AvantCoffee says...



GAh! I love so many of your poems so far, <3 <3 though I just had to comment on the last lines of your most recent one:
could a human fathom the anxiety
of a sparrow
if they dared to sing along

These lines are so impactful and filled with meaning within the concept of the whole poem, and I'll definitely be hanging onto them for a while <3

[Also your bird doodles are absolute masterpieces and are giving me so much life this napo]
If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.
— René Descartes
  





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Wed Apr 08, 2020 2:28 am
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alliyah says...



Spoiler! :
@AvantCoffee thank you! <3 <3 I used to have two zebra finches - and was surprised to find they seemed to experience (or at least express!) a whole range of emotions if you'd just listen to them. And I know that birds very rarely (if ever) get electrocuted from sitting on wires, but I always think it's an odd thing - that is a pretty good metaphor for how I feel sometimes! :)

And YES. Thanks! my thread's alternate name: "Bird Doodles. And Poetry."


10. who is your prophetImage

Spoiler! :
first version
Image
maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Thu Apr 09, 2020 4:04 am
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alliyah says...



11. could you tell me

Image
maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Fri Apr 10, 2020 5:03 am
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alliyah says...



12. when the robins return, i hope i remember

Image
maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Fri Apr 10, 2020 6:19 am
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alliyah says...



13. anxious | breathing

Image


Spoiler! :

I think I wrote some of the content for this poem at an earlier time - since I found a chunk of it in my notes / but I'm going to count it as a new poem because I changed it up a bit and added new formatting.

Here's the easily readable version for those who have trouble reading upside-down:

i'm often thinking about drowning; lately in air.

breathing is now overwhelming &
nothing seems to calm my lungs.
anxiety is strange; everything's
stirring, fighting against water,
weighing me down.
then there's the darkness,
which i try not to confuse with peace.
because peace requires hope.
and that's still somewhere in the
treading against gravity, in the holding
your breath a little longer.
maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Sat Apr 11, 2020 7:26 pm
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alliyah says...



14. the night is enormous, but i know better now


we don't celebrate the fourth of july in my family,
an unspoken rule ever since the year my dad
left us the week after. our last family holiday is burnt
into my mind like the echo of fireworks when you stand
too close, smoke clinging to your skin - you can't wash out,
ear's ringing, light bright across a quilt of night.

when i was really young, i used to be scared of fireworks
the noise too loud, and unclear, where does it come from
where does it go, i imagined the sky cracking; breaking
and me being swallowed up into it. i remember my dad
used to bring me to his truck, so we could watch without our
ear's echoing, and i felt like the sky couldn't catch me there.

the part that always catches me is that it seemed so normal

burning grilled hotdogs, laughing joy-giddy, my parents
sitting next to each other in our worn fold-up camp-chairs.
like shooting thousands of dollars into the sky
so that for a flash of a second we can remember a war
is ever normal - was anything ever normal?

or were we always treading water, smoking fuses

was he always half out the door, packed-up bags
and i just didn't know it - when was the moment he knew?
did he know he could leave me, even the year when we
sat in his pick-up truck, was he waiting for the right moment
when i was brave enough to watch without him there?

while i ran that year oblivious, tripped over pop cans trying to catch
ashes from the sky, threw my arms child-trusting round his neck,
did he relish in the thought of his soon-to-be independence?
did he know i would hate fireworks for years later, and
sometimes even the stars because they reminded me
of that day, of my clueless unknowing, reminded me of him;
because the sky seemed cruelly bright compared to all the night.

i haven't been afraid of fireworks for a long time, and i don't
hate him anymore, not even close, and sometimes that's harder,
we grow and forgive, sometimes without seeing
what's been happening right in front of us,


we get used to the smoke clinging on our skin,
we let the fireworks imprinted in the night fade in the morning,
we realize the world can not swallow us up if we don't let it.


Spoiler! :

author's note: I always feel strange writing about my family - because even anonymously on the internet, I don't want people to think I don't love them. Emotions & memories are way more complicated than words can ever adequately capture.

writing prompt: a holiday from your childhood that stands out
maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Sat Apr 11, 2020 8:16 pm
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alliyah says...



15. we are phonebook fish
Image

song interpretation

Spoiler! :
I woke up this morning and thought of the line, "we are phonebook fish" I've gotta write a poem about that. Now that I'm awake, I have no idea what that was supposed to mean, but decided to try to write a poem about it.

bonus formatting:
Image

plain text:
we are phonebook fish,
you and me; unrooted treading through
galaxies; we are every hurricane,
stir spin dive, spreading pages loose, unbind them - paper is cheap
let me soak in your ocean-dreams, your name is written here
and here and here, check the index if you don't believe me,
but don't forget to call back, they're always forgetting to call back
these old numbers disconnected, because land-lines
became irrelevant in the year of the millennium;
the year the world was supposed to end, the apocalypse
isn't subtle darling, but you'll miss it if you're always land-bound
watch your loved-ones become ocean-discards;
furniture for water-bottle islands, so cool and uncollected,
would you live here with me, we're short on reality,
but i can breathe through rainstorms and
slay every sea-demon that looks like love,
and you won't forget me.

maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  








I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart; I am, I am, I am.
— Sylvia Plath