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this tender self



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Wed Apr 22, 2020 5:00 am
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Lavvie says...



19.

people say hands are hard to draw & I believe them
because I've seen it
fingers spindling outward
knotty branches swirling
from swampy sketches
burdened with nails
like an after-thought
insinuating insult

who crafted my hands deftly
ghostly
like Patrick Swayze
see the thatched lines across palms
illegible
confused junctions
where the eraser left shadows
the parts that were probably better
never being

a reminder that mistakes
are a hybridized game
of tic-tac-toe and Russian roulette
where my hands pull the trigger
and errant pencils trace
dark circles
in empty spaces
in doing so the chicken bones of my fingers
snap like sticks
under shifting pressure

if you draw my hands
draw their erred evolution
the filling the emptying
of the cavern between wrist and thumb
where I sometimes place
like weighted poker chips
the misguided questions and answers
of my self-worth

Spoiler! :
@PrincessInk - thank you! I really try to maintain the traditional natural imagery when I write my haikus


What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl
  





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Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:52 am
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Lavvie says...



20.

i am trying to shove
out the front door
disregard for my shapes
wrapped in a kindling
of trojan innocence
rearing its head, ready
for a one-sided battle
weary before it's begun


What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl
  





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Fri Apr 24, 2020 1:52 am
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Lavvie says...



21.

the personal is political

woman is your mandate
even as her tangled hair tickles
like a warm drizzling rain
the length of this canvas

an ode to diversity that sings
over shades of pink
& treble curves
dusky in the eye of the beholder

a black eye barely scrutinous
ever consuming
& warmongering
boring holes into bodies

be blindfolded & feel:
rounded satin draping
like water on rocks
towards natural perfection


What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl
  





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Sat Apr 25, 2020 5:31 am
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Lavvie says...



22.

these hairs are filaments
of femininity, hard-pressed
cold juice
acid burning
on the chapped lips
of a society, bleeding
skin peeling away
cellophane sheets of white
lies collecting
in hypocritical kisses
whispering
shoulds
coulds
& would nots
implying these hairs
have a script
of unwritten rules, scrawled
in boys handwriting


What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl
  





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Sun Apr 26, 2020 10:04 pm
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Lavvie says...



23.

i am standing
my own two feet barely rooted
in the six feet of concrete
spaced between us
like years


What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl
  





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Sun Apr 26, 2020 10:26 pm
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alliyah says...



Spoiler! :
Lavvie, I continue to really adore your imagery pairings. Poem 19 is a serious masterpiece and one of my favorites in your thread I think - there's something that feels very powerful and transparent about it.

And I really like your phrasing here:
"if you draw my hands
draw their erred evolution
the filling the emptying
of the cavern between wrist and thumb"

Also 23 is certainly timely, and short but absolutely poignant, and it feels like the poem builds in intensity with each line. Thanks for sharing all of these!
maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Wed Apr 29, 2020 5:47 am
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Lavvie says...



Wow, I am so behind. I need to catch up! Bring on the short poems (not necessarily haikus because those actually take a long time for me...)

@alliyah - thank you <3 I value your input & feedback so much!

24.

can we acknowledge
the grizzlies that were here
before us
that paved Kelly Road
before it was?

^ above poem in response to a recent controversy concerning the potential name change of a local building

25.

these days I find myself searching in the attic
for words to hold cupped in my hands
to taste on the buds of my tongue
serif angles
at once smooth
& sharp
like a knife
through hot one-bowl shortbread -
instead the spaces are too large
craters in the earth:
devoid.

26.

these days
eating
bites the soul


What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl
  





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Thu Apr 30, 2020 7:09 am
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Lavvie says...



27.

the candle flame reads breath
smoky air smudging
walls & tabletops & carpet
cluttered sick
like the bowels of my brain
where insidious thoughts
cling to small wrists
like a child's cheap bracelet found
in an untouched cereal box
which will never be
touched

28.

armchairs are wide thinkers
absorbing people who only want to be
thin cheese on a tuna melt

29.

near Bruges footsteps become graves
for things that happened
clandestine between the feuilletined cracks
in Georgia roads
& chilly canal waters are eyes
open blind
to the weight of my deserts


What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl
  





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Fri May 01, 2020 7:46 am
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Lavvie says...



30.

tattoo golem

he moulds me
with liquid clay
Maharalian hands zinging skin
sharp erasure
of impurities invisible

needle & ink
fill spaces
between cloven vertebrae
crevassed & sore
slouched in a pyrrhic past

better remembered
on an organic canvas
where alephs are carved
in pretty disguise, grit wrinkled
in hues of tradition

red wet corporeal confetti
salute a battered body
revalued, ink-stitched
hailing solid resurrection
& whole love

Spoiler! :
Thank you to everyone who has been supporting and encouraging me through NaPoWriMo. It has been a challenge and not simply because the event is challenging in itself but, as you might imagine and be experiencing as well, the pandemic has drained me emotionally. It has taken a toll and, subsequently, writing poetry this month has been a more massive undertaking that I ever could have foreseen. It has become clear that I feel best about my poetry when life is dynamic, which it is definitely not right now. Even while I can take inspiration from past memories and emotions - which I normally do - there are now fewer moments to inspire that necessary impetus.

While I didn't maintain the theme of self-love this month, it wasn't actually my intent to have a themed thread at all. At the same time, I believe self-love can manifest beyond our bodies and minds - though I wrote a lot about that this month - and can be represented in how we interact with others and/or view people outside of ourselves. I'm really proud of some poems I've written this month and I would love to workshop these in the future/really shine them up.

I spent a lot of time on this last poem and, actually, many of these lines have been written in a notebook over the course of the month. They've finally made it together. This poem is the culmination of my self-love, addressing my philosophy for having tattoos which ultimately celebrate a body & person that I have had a strong love/hate relationship with. This physical art has enabled pride in myself. Indeed, poetry is the most private part of my mind.

Thanks for reading. <3


What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl
  








Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
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