I really feel that my writing skills have grown in the past few years, so I'm a bit optimistic that I won't completely embarrass myself this time around. This year my writing will be inspired primarily by my new relationship with my girlfriend.
Right. So one of my favorite poem things to do is to write a part 2 to things I've written a long time ago. So here's that thing- the first being a description of my experience with selective mutism, and the second my experience with slowly beginning to talk to my girlfriend.
Pt. 1
Spoiler! :
There is one experience I will never forget- Silently drinking the stars. They slid down my tongue And burned my throat with passion One by one, Leaving infinity an endless night.
It is indescribable- The taste of liquid diamonds and fire, Ice cool and burning at once, Now residing in your belly. A pile of embers now, Thick and uncomfortable.
I wonder some nights, Staring at the empty sky, If I shall ever be able to open my mouth And set them free, And if they could ever return to a world so vast After living so long in silence.
Pt. 2
You held the moon in your hands And it had never looked more at home Gently cradled in the curve of your palms
With soft words and softer kisses You ignited the tiniest spark in me And taught me how to breathe flames into life
I bit my tongue for a time Scared to let the heat escape But you showed me a masterpiece waiting to unfold in the sky
So I opened my lungs and cried into the night A river of stars rushed out in blazing light They tumbled and danced across my vision
The emptiness filled with a half remembered wash of swirling silver And the moon shone brighter than ever in its harmonic glory The universe danced to the rhythm it was always meant to
The night sky was once more a place to call home And a flow of air finally carried away the tears inside The bitterness in my mouth faded and there was room for my heart to rest
You hold my hand as I look on all I had lost Everything you had brought back to me And hold me while I breathe in life
The feeling of wonder as I contemplated for the first time the infinite possibilities involved in leaving home and choosing a life for myself, the impacts of love and courage, the momentum of stepping off the edge into something new.
The earth has given you up at last- Now you stretch your wings and shake off dust And you look up at the infinite sky And ask yourself, "Which shall I visit first? Which one will I call home?"
I lay down in the firelight beside you And as I drifted into sleep, my soul stirred inside me And rose in quiet to mingle with the woodsmoke I blew out through the chimney and roamed the earth like a breath of wind And in all that night of lonely wandering My heart never found a place so warm as yours
So here lies restlesness and the will to wander alone Here is the end of crying softly in the stillness of night The mingled song of our hearts soothes every ache in me Body and soul now are tethered again Lying linked in quiet content in the safety of your arms Forever drifting in this melody we share
Last edited by KaiTheGreater on Sun Apr 12, 2020 4:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
My heart wants answers, but my hands can't let go of all the questions I've come to know as home. You hold them in yours and all the pieces seem just out of reach. You are a dream I don't want to wake up from. You stitch my reality with the sound of our hearts beating in harmony. We dance out of rhythm and the stars spin around us and I am dizzy, but I don't want it to stop. Then I am falling and the world is slipping by in a blur and I know nothing but the safety of your arms. You are an answer, and this time I am not afraid to look you in the eyes and let go of the confusion that comforts me.
I once wrote a poem describing what I imagined it was like to fall in love. Here's my recount of the actual experience. My girlfriend and I started out long-distance, so I kind of leaned into the concept of us being separated by the glass walls of our phone screens.
Glass Walls
I had braced for a needle of fire to come piercing through my heart Instead I slipped gently into a layer of warmth and comfort And I'm still sinking, day by day, into the safety of you Lulled by the sound of your heart weaving melodies through the air Keeping time with the beat of mine
I wake and take in the brilliance of your smile, warring with the rising sun Wrapped in the sound of your breath, I fade into sleep And in the time between dawn and dusk I bask in the warmth of your eyes
My heart cries to feel your arms around me But I can only dream of holding you and feeling your breath on my skin As I trace these glass walls standing like all the distance in the world between us I can only imagine the softness of your skin beneath my fingers While my tears hit the hard floor in echo of the storm within
Quiet mornings wrapped in your arms Kisses and muffled laughter Rain pattering gently outside The smell of coffee and the sound of your contented sigh Hands folded together and the rhythm of your heartbeat These are my mornings now Far from the place I called home and the faces I knew Cradled against your chest and wrapped in the safety of your love There is no place I'd rather be
Pls don't read this until after you've read the poem.
Okay, great. So in case you didn't catch it, this is me venting a tiny bit of frustration at the unexpected difficulty of suddenly having a partner in your life. Especially someone like me, who's used to isolation and secrets. I trust her completely, but I still haven't quite gotten the hang of letting all the walls down, so... it was frustrating in the beginning, hearing her talk over my head to the person I presented myself as.
Since before the world began I have floated along rivulets of color You never saw the way the ink bled into my skin Washing away traces of my mistakes Leaving scars, but soothing bitter wounds
And my heart has learned new melodies to sing in harmony with the breeze Tired traces of song still echo in the quieter chambers But the sounds of life ring through more clearly
The sun kissed my skin and the moon brushed her fingers across my face The wild things whispered secret things in my ear in the night And I danced to the rhythm of the earth spinning beneath me
You had seen me for the briefest moment of time A few hundred years at best A flicker of color in the night And you thought you knew me
Last edited by KaiTheGreater on Mon Apr 20, 2020 2:51 am, edited 3 times in total.
I was crying when you found me Lost and scared in a sea of strangers When your eyes met mine I saw a shadow of familiarity I took a breath and poured out my story
You led me by the hand and retraced my steps And helped me pick up the scraps of color from the gutter You stitched them together with sunshine And painted the walls blue We folded paper birds to hang from the ceiling Then we danced and danced beneath our masterpiece You twirled me round and kissed my face And held me close to your heart
I stand on the brink and look back at the mud behind me The place I thought I'd left But my boots are still black and my fingers are stained I tell myself I just need time to wash it off, but The stinging cut on my forehead tells me otherwise Ahead, my paradise Behind, myself I drag myself from one to the other and only hope I don't fray apart
"This is home now." Yet my fingers still bleed and I am still color blind And the sound of teeth grinding has never left my ears Home is just a word Just the sight that fills your eyes while your head rests in the mud And your heart turns over restlessly
"You don't have to be afraid." Fear is a thing of the mind It flits through corners long claimed Filling my chest and exhaling any sense I might have had Fear is not tame It is a creature of fire and fury Washing out the flicker of warmth in my heart
One more poem portraying the balance between sickness and love. Also slightly incomplete. Whoops.
I don't dream. At night my head is overrun with whispers The singing and gentle laughter of shadows Softly humming through the strings of my being In the early light of morning, they sigh and fade into sleep And I look into the eyes of my love
All the colors of the world flow between us The sleepy sound of your breath catches in my heart and spins the world round Your arm around me is the sweetest of flavors I drink in the smell of you and I have never been more whole Never more home, hidden in the safety of your love
And then they are awake and you are slipping back into a tunnel of darkness Shadows tighten across my lungs and bleed the breath from me Pain drips from my skull and trickles down my back Demons unnamed are stretching and shivering across my vision Plucking at the back of my eyelids I hear you calling from a distance- I can picture the love in your eyes I want to find myself in your arms again, our hearts painting harmonies in the stillness But there is tension flowing and pooling through my muscles and my bones are dust There are teeth in my chest as I struggle for breath- "I love you" And they tear deeper into flesh as I reach for your hand I pray you can't smell the blood on my breath as you lean in
I want to be led by your voice back to this moment But the sound is overlaid with echoes of quiet singing My body trembles to a rhythm out of your hearing
Above my head, birds are in flight. Called from their homes by an inescapable force Unknown and invisible To wander the skies in search of a place foreign and soothing Where their hearts are safe from the gale force of longing
I am restless here In this place called home, this landscape of familiarity The earth scarred from every time I've stumbled and risen again My skin chaffes from being too tight Each heartbeat measures a lifespan, yet There isn't room for eternity in my veins I search the horizon, blue eyes taking in bloodshot skies Searching for some sign of a way out But I know I'll need to grow wings And feel my feet leave the earth
I like how your theme of love and sickness seems to extend to emotional contradictions - like when we're home but don't feel home, or are in love, but don't feel loved (or are scared or doubting). There's definitely emotional layering in a lot of these, which makes the poems feel complex and authentic. I'm obviously a fan of bird imagery, so your thirteenth poem has got to be my absolute favorite. These lines really communicated such a beautiful restlessness,
"Each heartbeat measures a lifespan, yet There isn't room for eternity in my veins"
Keep up the writing! You're so close to having enough for the 15 poems badge!
you should know i am a time traveler & there is no season as achingly temporary as now
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