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paroxysm



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Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Sat Apr 20, 2019 3:49 am
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Que says...



paroxysm xix

I know or
I don’t know;
I can’t trust myself
either way.
If I could understand
my own inner
mechanics,
I could predict my
own future actions.
But I can’t.
At times I feel
the very world is
unknowable,
as my deepest
heart
will always
remain.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Sun Apr 21, 2019 5:03 am
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Que says...



paroxysm xx

my limbs are trembling
with unspent excitement
that will lie dormant within me,
building,
until the end of August.

other things are building too,
things I'm unable to act on,
but they consume my mind
to the extent that I can't
think any other thoughts.

it's a blessing and a curse,
and I love it.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Mon Apr 22, 2019 2:56 am
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Que says...



paroxysm xxi

in April,
all of my hollow places
fill with water--
and like hospital patients
who drown
in the fluid in their lungs,
I drown inside of myself
grâce à paper-thin skin
and self-doubt.

this April,
someone ignited a
lantern,
a fire small enough
not to consume me,
but it keeps the rising tide
at bay.
that tiny fire is hope,
and at least the waters look
beautiful and safe
as I struggle to
keep afloat.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Tue Apr 23, 2019 2:59 am
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Que says...



paroxysm xxii

I love you dearly,
but I'm just one.
I'm not nearly
enough to change
the the hand
(or hands, as it were)
of fate.

All your abuses
must one day come
to an end;
but I'm not quite sure
just which of us
will do the ending
(and which will be ended).

O Earth,
your wounds are
my wounds,
and I sing the song of
your sorrow
with all the words
you cannot speak.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:29 am
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Que says...



Trying out some French! If you know any, feel free to correct grammar. :)

paroxysm xxiii

Je connais bien que
tu ne parle pas très
souvent;
mais j'espère que,
quand je te parle,
tu écouteras
(et comprendras).

Nous marchons--
lentement, lentement--
ensemble.
Il y a du vent,
il fait froid,
il va pleuvoir,
et nos mains
ne touchent pas;
mais quand je regard
dans tes yeux,
je vois moi-même.



Translation:
Spoiler! :

I know well that
you don't speak very
often;
but I hope that,
when I speak to you,
you will listen
(and understand).

We walk--
slowly, slowly,
together.
It's windy,
it's cold,
it's going to rain,
and our hands
don't touch;
but when I look
in your eyes,
I see myself.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Thu Apr 25, 2019 3:04 am
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Que says...



I'm so sorry, but I got bitten by the French bug... I'm not sure if I like these, but I'm having a lot of fun with the experimentation! Definitely looks better in French than English.

paroxysm xxiv

C'est dommage,
que vous avez perdu
votre courage,
quand tout dépende
à vous.

Ce que je fais
est rien;
regardez bien
avant que je
disparaîtrai--
l'heure approche,
trop vite pour vous.

Donc je vous quitte,
à cause de vous,
et dis,
«Adieu, adieu,
À Dieu.»


Translation:
Spoiler! :
It's too bad,
that you lost
your courage,
when everything depends
on you.

What I do
is nothing;
look carefully
before I
will disappear--
the hour is approaching,
too fast for you.

So I leave you,
because of you,
and say,
"Farewell, farewell,
To God."

(note: as I know it, adieu is a much more lasting goodbye than other forms (au revoir, which implies seeing someone again), and it was a shortening of "I commend you to God", so basically all this means that I was going for a permanent ending here. XD )
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Fri Apr 26, 2019 2:42 am
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Que says...



paroxysm xxv

my view of the world is
that of a child,
peeping out through the gaps
in dusty blinds.

I've seen good and bad,
but I can't make out the whole;
at least not yet.

in our modern ways of
television and air conditioning,
there's no need to leave
the safety of my own home.

my view of the world is
that of a child,
and to a child, one soul
can be your world.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Sat Apr 27, 2019 3:47 am
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Que says...



paroxysm xxvi

In a place where it
always is sunny,
with roses like velvet and
raindrops like honey,

I plant the garden
of my dreams;
and everything is
more than it seems.

I give my love,
my hopes, my care,
and reap the souls that
I have sown there.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Sun Apr 28, 2019 4:06 am
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Que says...



paroxysm xxvii

I tend to associate with certain
guilt-ridden characters
in musicals;
others usually find them
disagreeable, or,
at the very least,
in the wrong.
An antihero.

Perhaps it reflects on my own
state of soul; but is it
a reflection of my past
or of the future?
All we ever know
is that someone
always dies.
(And that it could be
anyone)
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:02 am
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Que says...



paroxysm xxviii

my brain is little
bits of broken glass;
they can't come together
to form coherent thought,
and all I ever think
is merely a reflection of
something else
someone once thought
before me.

sometimes the pieces
break down into a
very fine dust;
it slips into my bloodstream
and troubles my heart,
poking it and
holding it tighter than it
ought to be held.
it swims in my stomach,
forming little butterflies
that can't be caught.
it slides behind my
kneecaps, making me
weak, trembling,
and I fall.

my brain is little
bits of broken glass,
and all of my
insecurities and
idiosyncrasies
come from within.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Tue Apr 30, 2019 2:56 am
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Que says...



Spoiler! :
This looks like I dipped into your NaPo, @fraey! XD


paroxysm xxix

"sometimes we love the
non-native plants the best."
he tells me this as we
dig with trowels and
gather fistfuls of damp earth,
watching it trickle out
between our fingers.

the sun beats a rhythm
on my back,
something strong but soundless.
"even though they're
strangers?"
I ask this because
sometimes I wonder if
those plants ever wanted to
be here in the first place.
I ask this because
sometimes I feel like
a transplant, too.

he doesn't answer, but
presses a tulip bulb
into my dirty palm,
and I in turn
press it into the hole
I dug.

the whisper of wind
at the back of my neck
prickles against a
sheen of sweat and
brushes past my nose--
soft scent of pine and
dusky smoke of a
prairie fire--
and I think that
everything has to come from
somewhere.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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481 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5141
Reviews: 481
Wed May 01, 2019 2:45 am
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Que says...



paroxysm xxx

i reach inside myself for
another gun to pull, or
some further ammunition
for my arguments
(for my survival),
but all there is is
empty

the motivation,
the emotional punch,
they're gone as if someone
reached into the driver's seat
of my soul and
switched off the ignition--
just one flick of the wrist and
the whole car is dead.

the store sign's turned to
closed, with a
postscript of
tired, tired, tired--
a ghost of me sifting through
the dusty interior
begs to be let out,
but the management's
not home.

i let myself alone,
just for tonight.
>Previously Querencia<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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Wed May 01, 2019 4:00 am
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EditorAndPerks says...



The big 3-0! You’ve had an amazing NaPo this year <33
The only thing we're allowed to do is to believe that we won't regret the choice we made.
- Levi Ackerman

Castle Grounds Consultant
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 117973
Reviews: 959
Wed May 01, 2019 4:01 am
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alliyah says...



I'm completely illiterate in Roman Numerals, but I think this means you completed NaPo? Congratulations Querencia! I've gotta say I really like your style - the poem often starts out sort of ordinary, then you add a second image that's unexpected, or put a philosophical twist at the end, but it's all very direct and readable, and there are some seriously lovely phrases in many of these.

Like the closing couplet of the last poem - loved that, and also liked "my brain is little bits of broken glass" it's unexpected but the metaphor just works all the way through - I liked the mix of nature/water and sky/celestial imagery in poem xiv and poem xviii the short one about playing music/hand-holding is another one of my favorites.

Congratulations again!
maybe i make up colors for poetic cadence, but i don't think i can ever love someone who doesn't understand that teal is a different color than dark cyan
  





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Wed May 01, 2019 12:30 pm
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Arcticus says...



Congrats for getting it done!
You either worship something higher than yourself or end up worshiping yourself

Naturally Tipsy ©
  








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