I can't say much more besides that I love your style and the imagery here and formatting, and this is just very well done and a thrill to read all of your poems! Your eighth poem has some really good figurative language and comparison to form such unique images - honey/nests/bees was a very good combo! Nicely done so far! ^^
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
I was happy as your satellite, content to circle you for years, but your gravitational pull has lessened, somewhat, of late.
I suppose I'm free now; in any case, you cut me loose. But space is dark and cold and lonely, and passing through the side of a supernova can only change two of those things.
I've seen heights and depths and every unearthly delight that you cannot imagine; seas of glass and waves of stardust, mountains that shine from within and valleys of stone that can breathe.
no one has believed because I've not yet encountered a being who listens quite like you do (did); in any case, they're more believable than the lies you told me.
What is a satellite without its center? A piece of junk floating in space (in the space where your heart was).
I decided to actually mess around with formatting? (Pretty low-key because I did just did it in a note app, no fancy fonts or anything, just words and lots of spaces) I guess we'll see how it goes!
life decisions flashing by like the cars and the people in the street; good and bad, young and old, rich and poor-- all of them moving, flowing, changing--
but I don't want to move, I want to perpetuate.
this moment, watching from a window; companionship. I wouldn't ask for more than that.
I lie on the floor, hands and cheeks and forehead flush with the carpeting (my tears soaking in and staining)
At a single word, my face flushes crimson in anger, in embarrassment (in containing that which society disdains)
Each day I procrastinate, participating in the age-old ritual of flushing my future down the drain (it goes with water to the sea, a place where I can never be)
the rain falls in constellations, but their imprints overlap and overlap and overlap, so I can never tell which ones. You said such things don't matter, but chasing impossibilities is just one more thing that contributes to my nostalgic composition.
You were the rock tied round my waist, to keep me from floating; my head was always in the clouds, eyes on the horizon of the future. we agreed that one day i would leap into the sky and drift away, like a balloon, but when you leaped into the ocean, your weight dragged me with you into the depths.
It's... I can't. (it's like an encyclopedia was just dropped on my chest and whooosh, all the air goes out of my lungs and my eyes open so wide that dust motes land in them while my heart stops beating. when it starts again, each jerky pulse pricks my nerves, and then the whispers start.)
What whispers?
Did I say that out loud? (the whispers. the memories of everything i've ever done wrong or said incorrectly, every time i've misspent money or betrayed a trust or failed to complete a task or-- it's everything)
You’re a whisper, too. (because i have no one left to confide in but myself. and it’s so... . . . . . . . lonely)
"It's not my call but I'm so done with it all" I can feel myself stall about to fall out of the sky-- crash and burn. Unless I turn, can somehow learn, but I only yearn to be done. It started out fun but now I'm under the gun; I don't want to run. How easy for one to become none? I tear at my hair, feeling nothing but air, cursing life as unfair-- remembering that there once was a child (and that child was me) and that child was free, for she could not see that it was only to a degree-- so now I decree
Wow, that was really interesting rhyming in poem 16! Overall, the way you weave through ideas and stanzas just takes my breath away! You're too good XD
name: key/string/perks pronouns: she/her/hers and they/them/theirs
novel: the clocktower (camp nano apr 24) poetry: the beauty of the untold (napo 2024)
Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. — Ellen Degeneres
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