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a magician's tale



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Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:22 pm
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Jaybird says...



@Liberty500, a utopia is a paradise! You might be more familiar with the word dystopia - it's when something is meant to be a perfect society or thing, but isn't.

@JabberHut, thanks! It's a lot of fun referencing some of my favorite parts of KH, and I'm glad someone can get the references. :)
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:32 pm
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Jaybird says...



Spoiler! :
A Quick Explanation: This poem is another KH-themed poem, but is told from the perspective of my oc Kirux. He's Riku's Nobody, and is currently traveling to different worlds in the hopes of finding him someday.


heartache

heartache.
a word meaning
longing for a lost
loved one.
can i say that
my heart aches
when you don't even
know i exist?

i've searched under
a million skies,
looking for you.
i feel something
growing in my chest—
a pain that those
without hearts
aren't supposed to have.

i trace the lines
of the constellations with
the tip of the keyblade
i've never been
taught to use
as i lie with my back
on a grassy hill.
were you once here,
looking up at the same
array of lights?

our stars make
the same constellation,
but mine is missing
the bright star
that everyone always
looks for
in the dark night sky.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Fri Apr 19, 2019 4:24 pm
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Liberty says...



<333

This one is my favorite one now...
We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.
  





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Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:04 pm
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Jaybird says...



Aw, thank you! I'm glad you like it - it's one of my favorites, too. <3
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:15 pm
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Jaybird says...



Spoiler! :
A Quick Explanation: Though this poem isn't a KH-themed one, it's another surrounding a character. This particular character is Asteri. He's from the novel I'll be working on soon, and I wanted to get back into writing about him. Another protagonist - Kentaro - hears Asteri as a voice in his head a few years before the story starts, but the events at the very beginning of the story forces Kentaro to realize that Asteri is more than just a figment of his imagination.


silent screams

you fidget with what you're
holding in your hands—
it's a game controller this time,
but it's been a pencil,
a phone and a remote.
i can read you
even without the
anxiety seeping off of
you in thick waves.

i offer words of comfort,
promising that things
will be alright
even when i know the
future is uncertain
and that i have
no control over
the inevitable.

but you don't want
to hear the words
i've been screaming out
since the day
we first met.
because god forbid
you listen to the voice
in your head.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Sun Apr 21, 2019 11:24 am
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Jaybird says...



religion

i remember sitting
in church pews,
listening to sermons
that i had no interest in.
i'd daydream about
whatever story i was writing,
and feel a wave
of relief when it was
time for sunday school instead.

at some point, i began
to think that the bible
wasn't entirely real.
that god did exist,
and jesus, too,
but that the bible was
just a collection of stories
meant to inspire
good acts that followed
the teachings of
my religion.
i kept my thoughts
to myself, never
breathing a single word
because i thought
everyone was secretly
thinking the same thing.

then the church pews were
forgotten among memories
of scandals in my little neighborhood
church. of suicides, illicit acts, and
a broken community.
sunday school had been growing
empty for years, and this
was just the final straw.

we left church.
i left behind the uncomfortable
pews, sunday school lessons
i had always secretly been bored by,
and a building that had
never felt like home.

now i've created a religion
of my own. one of
kindness, of perseverance,
of treating others
the way you want to be treated.
my church wasn't a bad place,
but i can't believe in a god
i don't know exists.
i don't have to sit
in church pews or take
part in sunday school classes
to feel like i'm doing
my part.
i just have to be understanding
to those that i encounter,
whether we
believe in the same religion
or not.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Mon Apr 22, 2019 8:59 am
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Jaybird says...



time

i always feel
the sands of the hourglass
slipping through
my fingers.
i worry that
i'm not doing enough
in the precious seconds
that pass me by.

my mouse hovers the
right corner of
the youtube video
as i desperately try
to skip an ad that
says it'll end in five seconds.

i panic when i realize
it's almost the end of april,
and i still haven't
completed a specific set
of tasks that i can
do next month, too.
what if i lose the plethora
of time that i've
been blessed with?

and as the sun
begins to rise
over the forest behind
my house, i rush
my brother to finish
getting ready for school
so we can get the last
chore of the morning
done before leaving
with plenty of time to spare.

my parents have
always said that
i go too fast.
but i can't sit and wait
when i know
that each moment is
impossible
to get back.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Tue Apr 23, 2019 7:58 pm
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Jaybird says...



got it memorized?

we were standing in the
middle of town
when you first
told me
what friends were.
you said with that
musing yet gleeful
look on your face that
"friends eat ice-cream together
and talk and laugh
about the stupidest things".

then we climbed up
to the top of the clock tower
devouring our salty yet
sweet summertime
treats to the
ticking of the clock
above. i still
couldn't understood
what friendship was
but your definition
felt right.

so i led her up there,
too,
and taught her
about ice cream
and friendship
and everything you
had ever told me
to memorize.

but you never told me
that friendship
was the pain of betrayal
when your "friends"
can't tell you the truth.
i couldn't memorize
the right reaction
to you pretending like
our connection didn't exist,
only to come running
back to me
when you thought
you should care.

you look so sad
as i start to turn away
after i speak words
i can never take back.
don't pretend
like you don't know
why i'm hurting.
you're better than that.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Wed Apr 24, 2019 8:17 am
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Jaybird says...



"roxas"

we had known each
other for days i
couldn't count
when i first spoke
your name.
i won't ever forget
the look you had
on your face.

i didn't understand
that we were different,
then, but i don't think
you would have cared.
you brought me
to your sanctuary
and showed me your
secret delight—
a salty but sweet
summertime treat.

we listened to the clock
chime above us and dangled
our feet over its side.
sitting there,
everything felt right.
you and i were meant to
be together,
even if i didn't know
why.

then he joined us.
he taught us
about the importance
of the little moments
and what best friends were.
i like to think
that we were
all best friends,
even when you hated
him for lying to you
about me.

i have to go now.
you won't remember me,
but please don't forget
him, roxas.
don't forget the ice creams
we shared under the
summer sun,
and don't forget how
excited you were
for me to meet him—
even when you don't
remember that you had
two best friends
instead of one.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Thu Apr 25, 2019 9:03 pm
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Jaybird says...



"i'm sorry"

when you first told me that
your grandfather
was in the hospital,
i thought of how
my nanna had been in
and out of it
since she got her cancer,
but i didn't know
how to say "i'm sorry".

you told me how
he wasn't eating or
drinking, and how
his days were running out.
and i didn't know what to say.
i just offered
an awkward hug
and hoped i could find
the right words when
he finally did pass away.

and then he passed away,
and i found myself
at a loss.
you said he had a week
to a month left to live—
he died that weekend.
i offered condolences
over texts, a broken
record of "i'm sorry"
that you've heard a thousand
times by now.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:37 am
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Jaybird says...



not my story

it's not my story
to tell. i'm not
one of the girls
crowding into the bathroom
instead of the classroom,
gossiping about
my love life
and my worries
about prom—
you just never
realized that i was
in the stall right beside
you all, trying to make sense
of a conversation
you didn't bother to hide.

it's not my story
to tell. i'm not
supposed to
be writing about
how your girlfriend
broke up with you
on the phone,
and how you spent
and hour talking
to our parents
about how unsatisfied
you were with life—
even if i understood
your pain from the
next room over
as i accidentally overheard
your conversation.

it's not my story
to tell. i'm not the one
who got a cheap, broken car
from his parents. i
never lost my precious
car to a brother who should
have never been allowed
to mess around with the stereo—
i'm just your daughter,
sitting in the front seat
as i drive my first car
and you reminisce
about times long ago.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Sat Apr 27, 2019 1:57 pm
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Jaybird says...



prom

when i was a child,
i liked the color pink.
i would wear little
dresses with flowers
and worn fabric,
dressed in a coat of
pink from head to toe.
i would twirl the skirt
of the dress around
and feel the wind catch
it. i liked my hair long
but had to cut it
because i could never
stop myself
from twisting it
this way and that.

but standing in the mirror
while trying on dresses
for junior prom, i
squirmed in discomfort
when i wore a pale imitation
of a princess dress, the
pink waves flowing out
all around me.
i settled with a bright blue
one instead, something
"different" even though
all i wanted to wear was a suit.

and though my hair is short,
we still put it in a plethora
of little curls. i wished
i kept twirling my hair
so we couldn't
manipulate a single
stiff curl in.

i couldn't keep still
as my mom tried to
apply makeup on a face
that had never worn
it outside of school plays.
it felt heavy and wrong,
and i wanted to take
a wet washcloth and wipe
it all off.

as i look back at the pictures
taken from that prom,
i realize that the girl
smiling beside her best friend
wasn't me
and will never be me.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Sun Apr 28, 2019 11:12 pm
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Jaybird says...



"hero is a title"

"hero is a title
reserved for those
who perform
truly great feats."
the words
were spoken from
the lips of someone
who was far from heroic,
but they continue
to ring out in my
head every time i
look up at the newest
poster plastered
in the movie
theater's windows.

hero isn't the title
one gives someone
who has defeated a slew
of aliens invading earth
yet again. it's not a title
belonging to those
who win in cgi fights
against those villains
who are them with a
different name. it's not
a title given to people
characterized by their fights
with others like them.
it's not a title for
the dark and gritty.

hero is a title
reserved for those
who show kindness in
everything they do.
who help the
weak even when
their limbs are too tired
and their bodies
too battered.
hero is a title
reserved for
eacons of hope,
who tell you "i am here"
and give you a smile
when you feel like
your world is about
to break all around you.

hero is a title
reserved for those who
know that the
truly great feats
a hero performs
are the ones
that show the truth
all heroes know:
that they are
nothing more
than good people.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Mon Apr 29, 2019 7:46 pm
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Jaybird says...



snip, snip, snip

there’s a knot of emotions
all tangled up in my
chest, a conglomerate
of strings from a variety
of bundles. it’s
a rainbow of anxieties—
of red worries and violet
anxiety and green envy
and pink doubt.
i’ve tried to pull
them free and burn them
in the fire of my mind,
but they’re wound too tight
for more than a piece
of thread to break free.

yet there’s ways to
make a tangled mess
beautiful. i take a pair
of scissors and cut through
the thread i can see.
snip, snip, snip.
the pieces fall to the ground
in quick succession.
the smaller ones are taken
by the creatures in my
mind’s dark corners
to make nests and knots
in the distant future.

the longer strands
are ones that i run through
my fingers. my hands are
clumsy, but i keep
the pieces of colorful thread
together in the bracelets
i made as a child.
i look at the bracelets lining
my arms whenever
i feel a knot growing too big.
then i pick up
my scissors once again—
snip, snip, snip—
and a rainbow
falls to the ground around me.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  





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Tue Apr 30, 2019 12:44 pm
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Jaybird says...



venom

my story always returns to
this point.
no matter how many times
i flip open the worn pages
of my book, i find myself
sitting only a table
away from the people i
once called my friends.
i listen to how
they talk about the people
that i used to know. their
words drip with venom,
but they don’t try
to hide the conversation
under the guise of silence.

they always make comparisons
to people who “betrayed” them—
a strong word for people
who haven’t even been to college.
i wonder what the offender
did to receive their scorn.
was it a series of pointless arguments
that dug a divide they didn’t
want to cross, or was it
a single comment
that made them see themselves in
a distasteful way they were
previously blind to?

even after they fall into silence,
i can never pull my mind
away from the thought
that i used to be the person
they compared to.
what did they say when
i finally gathered the courage
to say how i felt?
did i become the monster
under the bed, the taboo?
was i just someone i used
to know—did they say,
“oh, she seemed so nice,
but underneath it all
she was a b——”?

i ran as far as i could,
and hide to the best of my
abilities. but i can never
outrun them, and i’m
always found.
they speak kind words
but i still flinch
when i remember
the venom on their tongues.
Magestorrow → Jaybird
  








Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
— G.K. Chesterton