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saturn is home, and all is well



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Wed Apr 24, 2019 4:01 am
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niteowl says...



#23

[text has been removed]
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Thu Apr 25, 2019 1:22 am
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niteowl says...



#24

perhaps the worst thing about bipolar disorder
is that you can't trust your own emotions.

is my sadness legitimate,
or am i just depressed again?

is my rage justified,
or am i just being irritable?

like alkali metals,
i don't know how to react
without exploding.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Thu Apr 25, 2019 3:44 pm
Lib says...



Aww, this is sad. :(
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Fri Apr 26, 2019 4:00 am
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niteowl says...



@Liberty500 Yeah this NaPo has taken a sad turn. Got to go watch T-Swift's live so here's a quick senryu

#25

under the wire now
i must write something down-
can i do better?
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Fri Apr 26, 2019 5:28 am
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niteowl says...



#26 nothing lasts forever, and this is going to take me down

when you are little,
you think buildings are forever.

you think that every birthday
you'll get a free all-you-can-eat sundae
from max and erma's
and then you'll go see a movie after.

but max and erma's is gone now,
and chicken tortilla soup will never taste the same.

you go into the wannabe hipster place
that swallowed it, replacing the bric-a-brac
with flat screen TVs and slick gray floors,
the menu now gourmet burgers and craft beer.

but around the kitchen, you see remnants
of the old red brick,
and your eyes wander to where
the sundae bar used to be.

and now the movie theater
has been outfoxed by the megaplex,
to be replaced by a planet fitness

and now you've grown up
and you see that even brick
and mortar
crumbles.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Fri Apr 26, 2019 6:08 am
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niteowl says...



Okay so since the title of the serious poem is modified from Taylor Swift's "Wildest Dreams", AND she has a new single out today (!!!), here's a parody of Max and Erma's closing set to "Wildest Dreams" (still missing a bridge lol)

#27 "tastiest dreams"

they said let's break out of this town
into all the cities, bring on all the crowds
they'll think heaven can't help them now
dinner's not forever,
but we sure loved it going down

and we're so full
from calorie hell
it's so bad
but they cook it so well,

now they're bankrupt
have to close up,
their one condition is...

say you'll remember me
grilling up a burger,
whipping up a sundae, hey
red meat and cheesy soup
say you'll eat it again
even if it's just in your
tastiest dreams ah ah, oh

I said no one has to know what I do
three trips of ice cream down, taking a clean spoon
and the walls look so familiar now
dinner's not forever,
but their soup is so good now

and we're so full
from calorie hell
it's so bad
but they cook it so well,

now they're bankrupt
have to close up,
their one condition is..

say you'll remember me
grilling up a burger,
whipping up a sundae, hey
red meat and cheesy soup
say you'll eat it again
even if it's just in your
tastiest dreams ah ah, oh
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Fri Apr 26, 2019 12:46 pm
Lib says...



#26 is actually the most saddest thing I have read. The memories that you fit in there and then the present tense that you fit in there... It's just... *sigh* That's sad.
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Sun Apr 28, 2019 1:34 am
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niteowl says...



@Liberty500, yeah there's been a lot of sadness in this thread as of late. I should try to write something happy but it's probably not going to be today because I'm just phoning this in to get to one a day.

Poetic Line Generator: snowflakes of understanding touch under a cover of new snow,

under a cover of new snow,
we are brought together.

i saw you when we were falling
from the clouds, and i marveled
at how even in a flurry of beauty,
you stood out to me.

when we landed together,
i couldn't help but smile.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:04 am
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niteowl says...



#28

Every day, I let time escape
Me until it is night
And I realize that I have let
Yet another day slip away.

Every night I swear,
I’ll try again tomorrow,
Only to say it again the next night.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:04 am
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Que says...



I love all of these <33 But oh man, #28 describes my life with painful accuracy.
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Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:09 am
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paperforest says...



Hey niteowl! You've written such beautiful poems this month, and you're so close to finishing a full NaPo! (Actually, you've already finished and gone beyond if you count the ones you posted but didn't number. I am in awe at how much you've written!) I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I promise I've been reading them, but then I never quite got around to telling you how much I liked them, and that's my fault. So first off, I think I love them all. I think #20 might be my favourite, although #14, #23, and #26 are close contenders, all because their emotions hit me close to home, and something about the wordings and the stories you've told just fit right. I really like the ocean/lighthouse metaphor of #20, and the mystery and loving self(?)forgiveness of the old woman in the lighthouse.

Also #15 is a beautiful example that it's wrong, because you've expressed such a complicated tangled emotion so simply and with beautiful words (and you've done this consistently throughout NaPo and it's something I really love about your poetry).

I also love the playfulness and rhythm of #27, and the simplicity and unexpected momentary happiness of the Poetic Line Generator one. (It made me smile, and I really like how you wove in snowy words like "flurry of beauty," which is an unexpected phrase that fits the meaning so perfectly.)

Only two more days to go, you can do it!
  





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Tue Apr 30, 2019 3:25 am
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niteowl says...



Thanks @paperforest! I’ve been trying so hard to do one a day since I’ve never been that consistent before.

#30

You’re back from vacation
And once again I have to pretend
That I don’t notice your new tan
That somehow makes you look even better.

I’ll walk by too many times
Averting my eyes at the last second,
Praying that you don’t notice
How bad I am at pretending.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Tue Apr 30, 2019 4:57 pm
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niteowl says...



#31 in conclusion

perhaps this was not
the journey of my dreams,
the lofty artistic heights
that one sees in mountain landscapes.

perhaps here is not
where i expected to be,
trying to wake up every morning
and sleep every night,
constantly wondering if i need
to be more.

but in the end,
i wake up in spite
of all my anxieties.


i am no great mountaineer,
but i climb, day after day,
and if not always happy,
i am at least not miserable.

and i don't expect
to look back and see perfection,
but i am here today
and all is well.

[spoiler]Well, I think the above says it all. I mostly succeeded at writing one poem a day, even if a lot of them were not that great. I think I could have done more artistically, but mostly I'm happy I finished. This was way more personal and angsty than I anticipated. I think next year's thread should be titled "the horrible no good very bad April" so it'll bring on better things.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

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Tue Apr 30, 2019 6:34 pm
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Cadi says...



Yaay, 30 poems, congrats!

I love the quiet, reflective optimism of #31. Here's to the next step up the mountain!
"The fact is, I don't know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn't collapse when you beat your head against it." --Douglas Adams
  





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Tue Apr 30, 2019 8:49 pm
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alliyah says...



You made it nite! <3 Congratulations on completing a really strong NaPo! So many points in these last few, especially the reflecting on leaving a home behind are for me so very relateable. And you ending reflection is a great conclusion to the collection.

perhaps here is not
where i expected to be,
trying to wake up every morning
and sleep every night,
constantly wondering if i need
to be more.

^ gosh this is so real and vulnerable, and perfectly phrased.

and then that very last stanza:

and i don't expect
to look back and see perfection,
but i am here today
and all is well.


Gosh, love that. I really enjoyed reading these.
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
  








Bananas
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